# Oh, sweet Jesus how I hate zombies **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 22, 2004, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sweet-jesus-how-i-hate-zombies/235645 "2004-03-22T01:28:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sweet-jesus-how-i-hate-zombies/235645/21 "2004-03-23T09:11:43Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > “MOE! That’s a Flaming MOE!” That’s only if you set the zombie on fire with Krusty Kough Syrup. I wanna see a zombie movie where the heroes use swords to cut the zombie heads off. With so many zombies running around, you can never count on having enough ammo to cap all those undead domes. A friend of mine found a brain-shaped mold online, and made brain custard with cherry sauce. Everyone was required to say, “ **Brains…** ” when serving up a portion for themselves. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sweet-jesus-how-i-hate-zombies/235645/22 "2004-03-23T15:45:04Z")
Baker, that thread was cited by Wabbit in the OP - it’s titled “Motherf\*\*\*ing zombies” (without the \*\*\*) ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sweet-jesus-how-i-hate-zombies/235645/23 "2004-03-23T16:15:21Z")
And here I thought that this was going to be a rant about Prof. Farnsworth. ---
**Author:** ![gluteus\_maximus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f17d59/32.png) [@gluteus\_maximus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gluteus_maximus)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sweet-jesus-how-i-hate-zombies/235645/24 "2004-03-23T16:38:40Z")
Where is the real Zombie Jesus? Is He behind [Door #1](http://www.jesusoftheweek.com/art/j2k1-8.jpg) ? or [Door #2](http://www.jesusoftheweek.com/art/jesus15.gif) (even looks like Tom Savini!) ? or is He behind [Door #33](http://www.jesusoftheweek.com/art/jesus162.gif) ? Do to a poorly-understood phenomenon known as _omnipresence_, the Risen Zombie Jesus may also be found behind [Door #4](http://www.jesusoftheweek.com/jesii/272/index.html) (with studly victim)… Not to mention [Door #Malibu Ken](http://www.jesusoftheweek.com/art/j2k-27.jpg) (or is it David Hasslehof?), and finally, [Door #Bring us this day our daily Pie](http://www.jesusoftheweek.com/art/jesus45.gif). Roll away the stone! ---
**Author:** ![LVgeogeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b19c9b/32.png) [@LVgeogeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LVgeogeek)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sweet-jesus-how-i-hate-zombies/235645/25 "2004-03-23T18:06:27Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > A few weeks ago I had a zombie running right at me, I hit the “Weaver stance” take careful aim…and miss him completely. The next shot hits him in the neck and would have stopped a non-zombie, but it doesn’t even hurt his feelings. By this time he’s right up on me, I figure I can’t miss…and blow his jaw off. Now I’m down on the ground wrestling with a stinky jawless zombie who is trying to bite me but can’t, thank God. I finally reach a screwdriver and get him in the eye…does it pierce his brain and kill him like in the movies? Hell no! I try again and again can’t pierce his skull or can’t do enough damage to the brain, and the smelly bastard goes on gumming me. Eventually I slip halfway loose and walk back over to where he knocked the pistol with him dragging on my leg like a little kid. Well, at least he was a highly motivated zombie 😃 ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sweet-jesus-how-i-hate-zombies/235645/26 "2004-03-23T18:37:59Z")
> [@Ponder Stibbons](#): > > Bartender, I’d like a Flaming Zombie! Beware the re-animated drag queen. ---
**Author:** ![KeithT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e47774/32.png) [@KeithT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KeithT)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2004, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sweet-jesus-how-i-hate-zombies/235645/27 "2004-03-24T07:21:34Z")
Fools! The true [Zombie Jesus](http://www.livejournal.com/users/forwardslipped/7369.html) comes but once a year! ---
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2004, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sweet-jesus-how-i-hate-zombies/235645/28 "2004-03-24T07:29:01Z")
> [@gluteus maximus](#): > > [Door #Bring us this day our daily Pie](http://www.jesusoftheweek.com/art/jesus45.gif). > > Roll away the stone! When resurrected bring pie. ---
**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2004, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sweet-jesus-how-i-hate-zombies/235645/29 "2004-03-24T08:41:27Z")
[Won’t someone please think of the zombies?](http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php3?date=2000-02-04&res=l) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sweet-jesus-how-i-hate-zombies/235645.md?page=1)