# OH THE HORROR! Is this some sick joke? What have you done to these poor children? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 30, 2007, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711 "2007-07-30T17:32:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/41 "2007-07-30T20:52:16Z")
What about this one: [http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homestead.com/retouch1a.html](http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homestead.com/retouch1a.html) _mouth replaced_? I’m just wondering if they used another shot of the same child’s actual mouth, or they just substituted in some “prettier” random mouth. It’s like some bizarre Photoshop Frankensteinification! And never mind that it’s not what the actual kid _looks_ like anymore…why bother starting with a snapshot of the kid? Just pick some random kid that looks similar and say “This is what your daughter _should_ look like.” _shudder_ ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/42 "2007-07-30T21:22:01Z")
I don’t get it. I mean, if they were making DOLLS of the kids, yeah, those would be pretty well done. But they don’t seem to be selling dolls, just weird photos that make the kids look like dolls… ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/43 "2007-07-30T21:28:53Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] … with the exception of the really bizzarely long upper arm and lack of an elbow, isn’t terrible. [/QUOTE] That’s _precisely_ what made it crappy. Can’t get past that - they gave her a noodle arm, removing all muscle. Looked like shit. I can’t believe that they actually _published_ that piece of crap - The cover editor should have been fired for letting such a shitty photoshop appear on the front cover. But these kids… they don’t look like dolls, and they don’t look like humans, and they don’t look like paintings… they look _alien_. That someone thinks that children should look like _aliens_ to be beautiful? _That_ is a seriously WTF moment! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/44 "2007-07-30T21:30:44Z")
[QUOTE=winterhawk11] …and say “This is what your daughter _should_ look like.” [/QUOTE] And you could do a better job with [Poser 3D](http://www.e-frontier.com/go/poser). And it’s only $250. If the creator of that website is seriously running a business, he or she can afford it. Seriously, does not the woman in the title art on the page I just linked to look realer than the “not” picture linked in Post 11? ---
**Author:** ![5que](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/3bc359/32.png) [@5que](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5que)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/45 "2007-07-30T21:32:04Z")
Really, Mr. Dateline, that 4th one _looked_ 18… ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/46 "2007-07-30T21:32:24Z")
Yeah, I’m not quite sure how to react. I mean, it’s really horrifying, but it’s so badly done! It’s so bizarre I don’t know what to say, except, I’d hate to see one of those…things…on a wall–at night–in a strange house… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/47 "2007-07-30T21:35:54Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] Seriously, does not the woman in the title art on the page I just linked to look realer than the “not” picture linked in Post 11? [/QUOTE] Close. Post #11’s image looks both just _slightly_ more ‘real’ and, simultaneously, a _lot_ less attractive. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/48 "2007-07-30T21:37:55Z")
I wonder if any of the kids are aware that they aren’t acceptable looking and must be turned into dolls (or worse, pictures of painted corpses)? I’m hoping this is a satire site, too, because someone thinking that the dead doll faces look better than pictures of real children and people is surreal. (I saw the “udder bust” too - I’ll just assume it’s a typo for “under bust” and sleep better tonight. 🙂 ) ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/49 "2007-07-30T21:38:13Z")
[QUOTE=Surly Chick] What the heck is up with the first bride’s dress? She looks like one of those dolls with the crocheted dresses that your grandma used to put over the spare roll of toilet paper. [/QUOTE] I think they just plunked her down on a picture of the lawn. That grass looks way too big to be in scale with the woman, and it’s at the wrong angle. Her head would have to be at about knee height. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/50 "2007-07-30T21:41:53Z")
[QUOTE=Tranquilis] Close. Post #11’s image looks both just _slightly_ more ‘real’ and, simultaneously, a _lot_ less attractive. [/QUOTE] No, I think the synthesized picture looks more real. At least it has proper shading from roundedness. The facial skin in the ‘not’ pic in Post 11 seems way too flat. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/51 "2007-07-30T21:44:07Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] No, I think the synthesized picture looks more real. At least it has proper shading from roundedness. The facial skin in the ‘not’ pic in Post 11 seems way too flat. [/QUOTE] But the Poser pic’s proprtions are off by a noticeable amount. It’s not dead and flat looking, but it’s also not _human_ looking. _shrug_ Either way, it’s a close, close call. And that’s a bad sign for Ms. Photoshop Lady. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/52 "2007-07-30T21:44:38Z")
OHOHOH - I just remembered what these pictures are reminding me of - remember on “My Name is Earl,” when Earl couldn’t keep his eyes open for the passport photo, so they just glued some random eyes on his picture and used that? Yeah, that. ---
**Author:** ![NJ\_Kef\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b487fb/32.png) [@NJ\_Kef\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NJ_Kef_1)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/53 "2007-07-30T21:49:07Z")
[QUOTE=Struan] Apart from the fact that it would get the BBC shut down, I think the next series of Doctor Who could use that website as inspiration. “Mummy loves you little cute baby - cuddle, cuddle - aren’t you pretty and I WANT TO KEEP YOU LIKE THAT!!!” cue music [/QUOTE] I thought of Doctor Who too, but not as imaginatively as you. I could only look at the first two links. Too creepy! The Stepford Children! They look like their souls have been sucked out. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/54 "2007-07-30T21:55:36Z")
Like a number of others, my first thought was “Stepford Kids” too. Or the other contestants in _Little Miss Sunshine_, who were doubly scary because they were moving. At any rate, maybe kids should display their own looks in photographs, rather than being edited into miniature adults who just look weird. As for the bride, it seemed to me that the “before” picture showed a happy bride. The “after” picture showed Katie Couric on an extra-perky day. Tools such as the retoucher used are undoubtedly handy, but just because you _can_ do something doesn’t mean that you _should_. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/55 "2007-07-30T22:54:59Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] The Faith Hill one was creepy because of what it says about objectification of women and unattainable body types (even Faith Hill doesn’t look as “good” as Faith Hill!) But the photoshopping itself, with the exception of the really bizzarely long upper arm and lack of an elbow, isn’t terrible. [/QUOTE] Having missed that one the first time around, I had to do some searching to see what the hubub was. [Good fricking Lord](http://jezebel.com/gossip/photoshop-of-horrors/heres-our-winner-redbook-shatters-our-faith-in-well-not-publishing-but-maybe-god-278919.php). ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/56 "2007-07-30T23:01:17Z")
[QUOTE=NJ\_Kef] They look like their souls have been sucked out. [/QUOTE] _sends off script_ ---
**Author:** ![Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sophistry_and_Illusion)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/57 "2007-07-30T23:08:30Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] That’s not the “healing brush”. That’s the “slather on makeup” brush. [/QUOTE] More like the Homer Simpson Makeup Shotgun. They’ve gone so far, why take a photo of the person at all? Why not just have some shitty Museum of Bad Art artist paint a hideous portrait of the person using MSPaint? Jeez. ---
**Author:** ![stretch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@stretch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stretch)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/58 "2007-07-30T23:13:47Z")
I can’t show this site to my mom…it would kill her. She was a professional retoucher for years; she even had a retouch machine at home. If she saw these I think her head would explode. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/59 "2007-07-30T23:16:42Z")
[QUOTE=Priceguy] Holy flipping Christ in an Etch-A-Sketch, that’s creepy. They even call that thing they do to the eyes “doll’s eyes”. And that’s supposed to be _good_? [/QUOTE] I was _thinking_ they looked like porcelain doll eyes! Seriously creepy. ---
**Author:** ![Pullet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Pullet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pullet)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/60 "2007-07-30T23:27:21Z")
[This is the worst](http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homestead.com/retouch1aa.html) They claim that they are keeping her “all natural,” and “perfecting the photo without changing the child” But they gave her a completely different eye color, and made her eyes bigger!!! I guess they just can’t stop themselves. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711.md?page=4)