# OH THE HORROR! Is this some sick joke? What have you done to these poor children? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 30, 2007, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711 "2007-07-30T17:32:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/61 "2007-07-30T23:46:47Z")
That’s just bizarre. The ‘before’ photos look like pictures of kids, the ‘after’ photos look like two-dimensional cartoons drawn by some amateur. ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/62 "2007-07-30T23:56:40Z")
Ewwwww. I think the retoucher has recently switched careers, from a previous one as an embalmer. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2007, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/63 "2007-07-31T00:02:03Z")
I’ve been looking at these all day, and I’ve come to the conclusion that, actually, we’re looking at them backwards. See, the actual before picture is on the right. Somebody submits a picture of a doll, or painting. Mrs. PhotoShopLady then works her magic to make it look like a real person. She does a pretty good job, I’d say! ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2007, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/64 "2007-07-31T00:08:19Z")
Aaaaaaaah Kill it! Kill the evil doll! They’re horrifying. Normally, we enter Uncanny Valley from the other direction - artificial humanoids that start to approach genuine ones in their realism, and get scary - this time, it’s real humans that have been turned into something distinctly unhuman - perhaps _inhuman_ - if they’d been changed more, they would be less scary. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2007, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/65 "2007-07-31T00:15:42Z")
I’m almost tempted to send in pictures of my kids and see what can be done with them, as a joke. Put it in a nice 8x10 frame and give it to Grandma for her birthday to see her reaction. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2007, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/66 "2007-07-31T00:21:54Z")
Gah. How fucking creepy and bad. I’m getting the heebie-jeebies from looking at it. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2007, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/67 "2007-07-31T00:25:23Z")
[QUOTE=Arnold Winkelried] I’m almost tempted to send in pictures of my kids and see what can be done with them, as a joke. Put it in a nice 8x10 frame and give it to Grandma for her birthday to see her reaction. [/QUOTE] Make sure her will is up to date before you do this. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2007, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/68 "2007-07-31T00:39:55Z")
You set up a complete web site to play this joke on us right? It looks like the street carnival carton artist has gone on the internet. What’s next? Clowns and mimes on proxy servers, projected on big screens, for birthday parties. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2007, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/69 "2007-07-31T00:42:16Z")
Oh. My. God. … My skin has apparently crawled OFF my body. If anyone sees it, would you let me know? I’ll be hiding under the bed, whimpering. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2007, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/70 "2007-07-31T00:44:21Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] Aaaaaaaah Kill it! Kill the evil doll! They’re horrifying. Normally, we enter Uncanny Valley from the other direction - artificial humanoids that start to approach genuine ones in their realism, and get scary - this time, it’s real humans that have been turned into something distinctly unhuman - perhaps _inhuman_ - if they’d been changed more, they would be less scary. [/QUOTE] _That’s_ what’s getting me here. They fall squarely into the Uncanny Valley. The too-smooth skin, the gleaming-white, disproportionate Anime eyes, and the overall vague, creeping notion that at any moment, their voice will begin to stutter and change pitch erratically as they they begin ripping the skin from their faces, revealing themselves to be a [nightmarish animatronic simulacrum](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fx5Jlap6uZY) right before they melt your face off with 100,000 volts of electricity from their eyes. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2007, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/71 "2007-07-31T00:48:13Z")
[QUOTE=AHunter3] The Barbification of America? [/QUOTE] Pegged it in two. Good eye, **AHunter3**. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2007, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/72 "2007-07-31T00:52:25Z")
[::can’t sleep, robot pageant babies will eat me::](http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homestead.com/retouchc.html) ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2007, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/73 "2007-07-31T01:09:34Z")
**"My name is Talking Tina …_and You’d Better Like Me!!!_"** ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2007, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/74 "2007-07-31T01:29:24Z")
_small whimpery noise from under the desk_ (No, seriously, who in their right mind would _want_ that hanging up on their walls?) ---
**Author:** ![psychobunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/54ee81/32.png) [@psychobunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychobunny)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2007, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/75 "2007-07-31T01:48:02Z")
Unfortunately, that crazy lady is not the only one doing this. I thought this was an adequate retouching site until I scrolled down to [the third picture](http://phojoe.com/portrait_retouching.html). Or check out [this](http://www.grafphotodesign.com/glam14.htm), or the ones you can mouseover at the bottom the the page [here](http://www.kelsphotocreations.com/pageantretouching.htm). They’re taking over!!! ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2007, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/76 "2007-07-31T01:48:58Z")
What she did to end the “cute as a button” factor to this child’s [photo](http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homestead.com/retouch1a.html) is a _ **SIN** _! ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2007, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/77 "2007-07-31T01:54:03Z")
[QUOTE=Zabali\_Clawbane] What she did to end the “cute as a button” factor to this child’s [photo](http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homestead.com/retouch1a.html) is a _ **SIN** _! [/QUOTE] “Mouth replaced.” What the _fuck_? Why even bother to send her a photo of your child? Why not just say, “Hey, will you make a picture of my kid? She’s two years old, brown hair, brown eyes. See what you can do.” :mad: ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2007, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/78 "2007-07-31T02:21:47Z")
[QUOTE=Giles] The "before"picture is a good photo of a very attractive young woman; the “after” picture looks like a bad painting of her with a fancy wig attached. I don’t know why anyone (including the subject) would prefer the re-touched version. [/QUOTE] The ones of adult women look like drag queens in much brighter light than an actual drag queen would ever permit herself to be seen in. The ones of little girls look, as noted, like nothing human. ---
**Author:** ![Kid\_A\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Kid\_A\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kid_A_1)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2007, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/79 "2007-07-31T02:23:44Z")
That’s creepy as fuck. I don’t even know what that means. They were just the first words in my head when I saw the pictures. ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2007, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/80 "2007-07-31T02:43:48Z")
They look like that creepy Welch’s Grape Juice girl. She’s gonna eat your soul, so don’t go looking for pics!!! _shudder_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711.md?page=5)