# OH THE HORROR! Is this some sick joke? What have you done to these poor children? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 30, 2007, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711 "2007-07-30T17:32:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2007, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/161 "2007-08-04T16:44:18Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] Until they take the kid to a plastic surgeon and tell him they want the kid to look like the “photograph.” [/QUOTE] Number twelve looks just like…a hideous, hideous abomination. More and more TZ references the longer this thread goes on. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2007, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/162 "2007-08-04T18:51:41Z")
I decided to try a cat: [Before Kitty](http://pics.livejournal.com/opalcat/pic/0009ery4) [Pageant Kitty](http://pics.livejournal.com/opalcat/pic/0009h5bq) \*Total Makeover Retouching This Photo Enhancement Includes: \*Haute Couture feather accent hat added \*“Doll Eyes” \*Mouth replaced \*Lashes added \*Nail polish added \*Dark circles/stripes removed \*Nose reshaped \*Nose “pinkened” \*Totally increased fuckability ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2007, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/163 "2007-08-04T19:01:09Z")
[QUOTE=OpalCat] [Pageant Kitty](http://pics.livejournal.com/opalcat/pic/0009h5bq) [/QUOTE] I would like to nominate you as the permanent winner of every contest everywhere in the universe for all time. It’s the nail polish that puts it over the top. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2007, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/164 "2007-08-04T19:21:42Z")
[QUOTE=Cervaise] I would like to nominate you as the permanent winner of every contest everywhere in the universe for all time. It’s the nail polish that puts it over the top. [/QUOTE] I dunno, the kitten’s face looks a little “lifelike” for my tastes. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2007, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/165 "2007-08-04T19:22:18Z")
Should I have used the soften or blur tool to remove all the fur texture? ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2007, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/166 "2007-08-04T19:33:12Z")
[QUOTE=OpalCat] Should I have used the soften or blur tool to remove all the fur texture? [/QUOTE] I think so, after all, the subject of the OP does something similar. ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2007, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/167 "2007-08-04T19:38:35Z")
That’s hysterical, **OpalCat**! ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2007, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/168 "2007-08-04T19:55:48Z")
[QUOTE=OpalCat] [Pageant Kitty](http://pics.livejournal.com/opalcat/pic/0009h5bq) [/QUOTE] My husband and I laughed so hard at this we couldn’t speak. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2007, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/169 "2007-08-04T20:06:13Z")
[QUOTE=OpalCat] I decided to try a cat: [Before Kitty](http://pics.livejournal.com/opalcat/pic/0009ery4) [Pageant Kitty](http://pics.livejournal.com/opalcat/pic/0009h5bq) \*Total Makeover Retouching This Photo Enhancement Includes: \*Totally increased fuckability [/QUOTE] My Fuckability. Let me show you it. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2007, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/170 "2007-08-04T20:11:33Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] I think so, after all, the subject of the OP does something similar. [/QUOTE] Ok I’ve smoothed out the fur to a plastic skin: [http://pics.livejournal.com/opalcat/pic/0009k3eb](http://pics.livejournal.com/opalcat/pic/0009k3eb) ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2007, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/171 "2007-08-04T20:18:50Z")
[QUOTE=OpalCat] Ok I’ve smoothed out the fur to a plastic skin: [http://pics.livejournal.com/opalcat/pic/0009k3eb](http://pics.livejournal.com/opalcat/pic/0009k3eb) [/QUOTE] OMG, that’s _hideous!_ Brilliant job! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2007, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/172 "2007-08-04T21:16:38Z")
That is so frickin’ brilliant. How can the people who do this to kids’ photos not realize that this is what they are doing? I guess when you get deeply into an insular world, you don’t realize just how messed-up it is. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2007, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/173 "2007-08-04T23:20:08Z")
I know. It’s just sad. I mean there is a legitimate purpose and use for photo retouching. You can remove glare spots, zits, red-eye; you can fix an errant hair or a slip peeking out from a hem line. You can take a weird shine off a tooth, or remove eye boogers. You really can improve a photo without fundamentally altering the subject. What these people are doing isn’t that. It’s… it’s just _wrong_. And even if the decision to make an “ultra perfect child photo” weren’t inherently wrong, they’re _bad at it_ to boot! It’s disheartening ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Big\_Norse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/big_norse/32/9954_2.png) [@Big\_Norse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Big_Norse)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2007, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/174 "2007-08-05T17:24:59Z")
[QUOTE=cher3] I’m not getting the pageant aspect here. I think children’s pageants must be a very freaky world, but would even they accept such a radically altered photo as a entry of some kind? Why? What happens when the child gets to the pageant and doesn’t look anything like that? I must be missing something about the whole culture. [/QUOTE] I don’t get this either, but it must be part of the culture. Apparently little girl pageants don’t need the pictures to actually look like the girl - and blue eyes are preferable (over green even - go figure). These examples aren’t as egregious as the ones in the OP, but they pretty much take all the character out of the faces. (scroll over to see original) [Sample 1](http://www.touchofglamour.com/Retouching%20Portfolio%206.htm) [Sample 2](http://www.touchofglamour.com/Retouching%20Portfolio%203.htm) [These are pretty bad](http://www.thephotoenhancer.com/example2.htm) This is a “[natural](http://www.miracle-enhancements.com/images/nat2.jpg)” enhancement by these folks And this are their “[glitz](http://www.miracle-enhancements.com/samples.htm)” options. ---
**Author:** ![Acorns.but\_not\_Bacon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@Acorns.but\_not\_Bacon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acorns.but_not_Bacon)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2007, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/175 "2007-08-05T17:31:38Z")
In your last two links you can’t see any definition of their face, it’s like someone just plonked their noses on! The photoenhancer site is horrible, worse than the OP links imo because of added creepiness factor and there are only two pics! And the website looks like a christmas card a kid made. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2007, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/176 "2007-08-05T18:00:44Z")
[QUOTE=OpalCat] Ok I’ve smoothed out the fur to a plastic skin: [http://pics.livejournal.com/opalcat/pic/0009k3eb](http://pics.livejournal.com/opalcat/pic/0009k3eb) [/QUOTE] I am going to have nightmares now. Well done! If there was only some way of sending that pic to some of these people to break the spell so that they could really see how what they’re doing is dehumanising. Incidentally, the original meaning of “glamour” was a kind of enchantment that trapped the victim. I wonder whether these pageanteers know that. ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2007, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/177 "2007-08-05T18:01:05Z")
Even the wedding retouching samples Hal Briston linked to put me off, especially the outdoor one. Cleaning up the background is one thing, but all of the other changes made on the bride’s face – damnit, that’s not what she looks like! She never looked like that, she will never look like that. It’s like saying, “Here’s what she looked like if she were somebody else who looks a lot like her.” Widening and brightening the eyes, changing the shape of the mouth, enhancing the teeth – that’s not a photo of that woman. And it looks fake as hell. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2007, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/178 "2007-08-05T21:08:07Z")
Looking at the new additions here, it occurs to me another reason why these are so creepy - they seem to not only remove all character from the face, but they seem to remove all thought from the heads, too - “the lights are on but nobody’s home” is NOT a good look for anyone. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2007, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/179 "2007-08-05T21:43:35Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] Incidentally, the original meaning of “glamour” was a kind of enchantment that trapped the victim. [/QUOTE] Indeed. In the 1913 edition of Webster’s, the ‘glamour’ entry runs thus: > [@](#): > > Glamour \Gla"mour, n. [Scot. glamour, glamer; cf. Icel. > gl['a]meggdr one who is troubled with the glaucoma (?); or > Icel. gl[=a]m-s[=y]ni weakness of sight, glamour; gl[=a]mr > name of the moon, also of a ghost + s[=y]ni sight, akin to E. > see. Perh., however, a corruption of E. gramarye.] > [1913 Webster] > 1. A charm affecting the eye, making objects appear different > from what they really are. > [1913 Webster] > > ``` > 2. Witchcraft; magic; a spell. --Tennyson. > [1913 Webster] > > 3. A kind of haze in the air, causing things to appear > different from what they really are. > [1913 Webster] > > The air filled with a strange, pale glamour that > seemed to lie over the broad valley. --W. Black. > [1913 Webster] > > 4. Any artificial interest in, or association with, an > object, through which it appears delusively magnified or > glorified. > [1913 Webster] > > {Glamour gift}, {Glamour might}, the gift or power of > producing a glamour. The former is used figuratively, of > the gift of fascination peculiar to women. > [1913 Webster] > > It had much of glamour might > To make a lady seem a knight. --Sir W. > Scott. > [1913 Webster] > > ``` (I happen to have it installed on my computer (Ubuntu package) but it’s widely available in web editions. One of them is [here](http://1913.mshaffer.com/d/search/_words.word,glamour).) ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2007, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711/180 "2007-08-07T00:52:15Z")
Maybe we’re thinking about this all wrong. Maybe the fake doll look is deliberate. Like the way you might have your photos taken while wearing 19th century clothes and the photo is all sepia-toned. That’s all I can think of to explain something like [this](http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homestead.com/ap_online.jpg). By the way, I noticed all the images the OP linked to have all changed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-the-horror-is-this-some-sick-joke-what-have-you-done-to-these-poor-children/413711.md?page=10)