# Oh why must you make it so hard to take your tragedy seriously. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 15, 2013, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-why-must-you-make-it-so-hard-to-take-your-tragedy-seriously/663551 "2013-07-15T12:45:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-why-must-you-make-it-so-hard-to-take-your-tragedy-seriously/663551/61 "2013-07-17T18:34:14Z")
> [@Lightray](#): > > Needs more cowbell. Curse you! I was going to say that! :mad: ---
**Author:** ![cougar58](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@cougar58](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cougar58)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-why-must-you-make-it-so-hard-to-take-your-tragedy-seriously/663551/62 "2013-07-22T13:07:12Z")
New thriller movie being made: “Hoofs on the roofs” ---
**Author:** ![cougar58](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@cougar58](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cougar58)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-why-must-you-make-it-so-hard-to-take-your-tragedy-seriously/663551/63 "2013-07-22T13:26:48Z")
Little did Juan know what he was in for, when his wife Consuelo, finally promised him he could have some rump in bed ---
**Author:** ![ducati](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cc9497/32.png) [@ducati](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ducati)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-why-must-you-make-it-so-hard-to-take-your-tragedy-seriously/663551/64 "2013-07-22T16:28:02Z")
BNN (Bovine News Network) By Red Holstein, BNN contributor updated 9:44 AM EDT, Monday, July 22, 2013 A local cow narrowly escaped injury yesterday, following a tragic encounter with dangerous humans near her field. According to witnesses grazing nearby, Buttercup Silva, a Camchin from Caratinga, was walking along her hill when she fell into some kind of trap set by humans to catch unsuspecting cattle. Although the trap was covered with a dangerous carcinogen and filled with sharp objects and wooden furniture that splinters upon impact to injure trapped animals, the only fatality was a hunter hiding in, or perhaps setting the trap. Frightened and confused, Buttercup was able to knock a cow-shaped hole in the wall of the trap and escape unharmed. Hearing a distant cowbell tinkling, Silva tried following the sound, but it was drowned out by the sound of caipira wailing and crabbing about something as they often do. Only after hearing more cowbells was Buttercup able to determine the location of her herd and join them. Most upsetting to Ms. Silva were human reports that she weighed 3,000 pounds. “Humans are so cruel. Even when I was pregnant with twins, I never weighed more than 1,800 pounds.” she told reporters. “People see huge udders and just assume you’re fat.” Profile pictures on her Fieldbook page would seem to corroborate her assertion. Cinnamon Silva, Buttercup’s mother was heard to say later “I didn’t raise 9 calves to be trapped and killed by violent humans. We’re a peaceful, milk-giving family and with the exception of my brother Barney, who caught BSE and went crazy, not one of us has hurt a human.” ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-why-must-you-make-it-so-hard-to-take-your-tragedy-seriously/663551/65 "2013-07-22T18:20:28Z")
> [@ducati](#): > > BNN (Bovine News Network) > > … > > Cinnamon Silva, Buttercup’s mother was heard to say later “I didn’t raise 9 calves to be trapped and killed by violent humans. We’re a peaceful, milk-giving family and with the exception of my brother Barney, who caught BSE and went crazy, not one of us has hurt a human.” Do you think cows might refer to BSE as “Mad Us Disease”? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-why-must-you-make-it-so-hard-to-take-your-tragedy-seriously/663551/66 "2013-07-22T19:26:38Z")
Ducati, this is not only rare but well done. It mooved me. ---
**Author:** ![ducati](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cc9497/32.png) [@ducati](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ducati)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-why-must-you-make-it-so-hard-to-take-your-tragedy-seriously/663551/67 "2013-07-23T02:13:45Z")
Someone has to think of the ch, er, cows. ---
**Author:** ![Chief\_Pedant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@Chief\_Pedant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chief_Pedant)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-why-must-you-make-it-so-hard-to-take-your-tragedy-seriously/663551/68 "2013-07-23T02:30:54Z")
Has udder destruction been mentioned, and I just missed it? (I guess "udderly unbelievable counts, on review) Fabulous post, **ducati.** ---
**Author:** ![Sun\_Stealer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/74df32/32.png) [@Sun\_Stealer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sun_Stealer)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-why-must-you-make-it-so-hard-to-take-your-tragedy-seriously/663551/69 "2013-07-23T04:01:23Z")
> [@Chief\_Pedant](#): > > No. Not even a female gaur weighs 3,000 lbs. > > And I did not read about this in the Weekly World News, which is more or less the standard for reporting oddball things that happen in oddball places. > > Therefore, I think the whole thing is made up. > > I’m pretty sure the cow story is a cover up from the asbestos industry. The guy died of mesothelioma from his roof. [http://weeklyworldnews.com/headlines/56910/flying-cows/](http://weeklyworldnews.com/headlines/56910/flying-cows/) ---
**Author:** ![Bucky\_Edgett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9a140/32.png) [@Bucky\_Edgett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bucky_Edgett)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-why-must-you-make-it-so-hard-to-take-your-tragedy-seriously/663551/70 "2013-07-23T13:52:21Z")
It’s too bad the poor fellow wasn’t sleeping a few feet ot one side or the other, because then… he cud have been merely grazed. A hoof a yard would have done it. Sorry to horn in on the thread at this latte date. ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-why-must-you-make-it-so-hard-to-take-your-tragedy-seriously/663551/71 "2013-07-23T21:04:38Z")
Could the cow have been dropped onto the roof by a localized weather phenomenom, a toronado? ---
**Author:** ![ducati](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cc9497/32.png) [@ducati](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ducati)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-why-must-you-make-it-so-hard-to-take-your-tragedy-seriously/663551/72 "2013-07-23T22:05:39Z")
You mean like a Cownado? That’s just [crazy talk.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwsqFR5bh6Q) It’s udderly ridiculous to consider. ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_E\_Us](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e480ec/32.png) [@Bill\_E\_Us](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_E_Us)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2013, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-why-must-you-make-it-so-hard-to-take-your-tragedy-seriously/663551/73 "2013-07-24T07:06:07Z")
> [@](#): > > Speaking of which, in the spirit of words like defenestration, there should be a word meaning “fallen on by cow” to simply these matters. Sorry for late entry, but how about Beefeated Cattleptic Cattlelysed Cow-lapsed Cow patted Cud-gelled Decalfinated Discowmoded Discowbobulated Discownted Gaucho marked Mooed down Moolested Moortified Steaked out Uncowordinated ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2013, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-why-must-you-make-it-so-hard-to-take-your-tragedy-seriously/663551/74 "2013-07-24T07:54:49Z")
> [@Bill\_E\_Us](#): > > Sorry for late entry, but how about > > Cud-gelled > Discowbobulated > Mooed down > Moolested These are my favorites. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2013, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-why-must-you-make-it-so-hard-to-take-your-tragedy-seriously/663551/75 "2013-07-24T12:57:20Z")
> [@ducati](#): > > You mean like a Cownado? That’s just [crazy talk.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwsqFR5bh6Q) > > It’s udderly ridiculous to consider. I can hear the trailer: “Look, city-slicker, its called a Cownado. They go up Steer and they come down _Boeuf!_ You can stay if you want, but we’re leaving…” ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2013, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-why-must-you-make-it-so-hard-to-take-your-tragedy-seriously/663551/76 "2013-07-24T18:35:38Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > Is it cruel to make jokes when someone has died in such a manner? Hmm, I will have to ruminate about this. It is cruel to laugh about such an udder cowtastophe. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2013, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-why-must-you-make-it-so-hard-to-take-your-tragedy-seriously/663551/77 "2013-07-24T18:45:36Z")
I’m beginning to think we’ve milked this for all it’s worth. Maybe it’s time to put it out to pasture. ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2013, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-why-must-you-make-it-so-hard-to-take-your-tragedy-seriously/663551/78 "2013-07-24T19:46:29Z")
Oh no, I think we’ll be talking about this until the cows come home. ---
**Author:** ![mandala](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mandala/32/95_2.png) [@mandala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mandala)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2013, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-why-must-you-make-it-so-hard-to-take-your-tragedy-seriously/663551/79 "2013-07-26T00:13:12Z")
The family must not be cowed down by this bovinator. Not all cows are evil. ---
**Author:** ![RearEchelon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b4bc9f/32.png) [@RearEchelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RearEchelon)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-why-must-you-make-it-so-hard-to-take-your-tragedy-seriously/663551/80 "2013-07-28T06:27:44Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Surely you mean it would be abominable. 😛 XD [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-why-must-you-make-it-so-hard-to-take-your-tragedy-seriously/663551.md?page=3)