# Oh wise and noble Dopers, help me find the funniest/weirdest sex toys **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 5, 2007, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-wise-and-noble-dopers-help-me-find-the-funniest-weirdest-sex-toys/425270 "2007-11-05T06:21:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2007, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-wise-and-noble-dopers-help-me-find-the-funniest-weirdest-sex-toys/425270/1 "2007-11-05T06:21:10Z")
First and foremost, I think we can all logically realize that the links in this thread are going to be ripe with not-safe-for-worky-goodness. So, I figure it would probably be best if we just break the links, yes? So, my best friend and I have decided that for Christmas, we are going to get one another hilarious sex gifts. What brought up this wonderful idea was my stumbling upon of a corn vibrator (this one is actually on Amazon, so it’s more or less SFW [http://www.amazon.com/Outrageous-Passion-Produce-12000-Vibrator/dp/B000EBONU8](http://www.amazon.com/Outrageous-Passion-Produce-12000-Vibrator/dp/B000EBONU8) ). I mean, seriously, who buys a corn vibrator? I’ve also found a “Clone-a-Pussy” kit, which is hilarious (NSFW, seriously [Adam & Eve: Sex Toys & Sexual Wellness Products](http://www.adameve.com/Novelties-and-Fun-Stuff/Clone-A-Willy-Kits/sp-clone-a-pussy-kit-10122.aspx)), but I dunno if that’s really as good as it gets. What do you guys have? Our rules are that we wont go over $50, so whether that’s one big thing or a few smaller things, it’s all good. The funnier the better. Oh, extra points if it is something she and her fiance may want to use, but funny trumps all. Oh, and I’m from Bakersfield, so of course I know about the Fuck Ewe already ([http://www.muttonbone.com/](http://www.muttonbone.com/)). The best part of that website, btw, is how the sheep has skank makeup on, right? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Omi\_no\_Kami](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a88e4f/32.png) [@Omi\_no\_Kami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omi_no_Kami)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2007, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-wise-and-noble-dopers-help-me-find-the-funniest-weirdest-sex-toys/425270/2 "2007-11-05T06:28:56Z")
[this needs no fanfare](http://www.amazon.com/HELLO-KITTY-Pink-Personal-Massager/dp/B000XJJOSW/ref=sr_1_1/002-1051287-3345629?ie=UTF8&s=hpc&qid=1194244082&sr=1-1) . Yes, it’s what you think it is. It also comes in red, black, and a few other colors. ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2007, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-wise-and-noble-dopers-help-me-find-the-funniest-weirdest-sex-toys/425270/3 "2007-11-05T06:33:02Z")
Sure, it’s for your “friend”… ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2007, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-wise-and-noble-dopers-help-me-find-the-funniest-weirdest-sex-toys/425270/4 "2007-11-05T06:39:35Z")
Omg! She LOVES Hello Kitty, so that would actually be applicable on many fronts. Love it. And I swear to you, I do not have a corn, plaster pussy, or sheep fetish. Everyone knows my kinks lie directly upon Marines and Soldiers, c’mon now! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2007, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-wise-and-noble-dopers-help-me-find-the-funniest-weirdest-sex-toys/425270/5 "2007-11-05T06:42:26Z")
[QUOTE=DiosaBellissima] I mean, seriously, who buys a corn vibrator? [/QUOTE] Stating the obvious, people who enjoy corn-hole action. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2007, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-wise-and-noble-dopers-help-me-find-the-funniest-weirdest-sex-toys/425270/6 "2007-11-05T06:46:04Z")
I used to have [one of these](http://www.ticklekitty.com/Catalog/waterproof-i-rub-my-ducky-vibrator.htm), till he ran out of batteries and I was too lazy to replace it. It was a little hard to shove him between my legs. That sweet little smile…you know? Plus he was a bit uncomfortable, honestly. I never got off on him. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2007, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-wise-and-noble-dopers-help-me-find-the-funniest-weirdest-sex-toys/425270/7 "2007-11-05T06:48:42Z")
Those duckies crack me up because they come in so many varieties. Dominatrix ducky cracks me up the most, actually. Oh, and **Mtgman**? I was telling my friend and her fiance about the corn and the carrot vibrators they sell. I hear him in the background yell towards the phone, “Gives a whole new meaning to tossing a salad, doesn’t it?” heh ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2007, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-wise-and-noble-dopers-help-me-find-the-funniest-weirdest-sex-toys/425270/8 "2007-11-05T06:56:05Z")
[Religious Dildoes!](http://www.blowfish.com/catalog/toys/symbolic_dildos.html) You could get her Buddha, Satan, A nun who sticks on the wall, the Grim Reaper or Jesus on the Cross! ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2007, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-wise-and-noble-dopers-help-me-find-the-funniest-weirdest-sex-toys/425270/9 "2007-11-05T07:11:15Z")
[QUOTE=Sierra Indigo] [Religious Dildoes!](http://www.blowfish.com/catalog/toys/symbolic_dildos.html) You could get her Buddha, Satan, A nun who sticks on the wall, the Grim Reaper or Jesus on the Cross! [/QUOTE] Of course you have to [crawl before you run](http://www.divine-interventions.com/baby.php) (though plugging stops running). ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2007, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-wise-and-noble-dopers-help-me-find-the-funniest-weirdest-sex-toys/425270/10 "2007-11-05T07:34:14Z")
Check this site out: http: // www . rotten . com / library / sex / masturbation / inventions / sex-dolls / ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2007, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-wise-and-noble-dopers-help-me-find-the-funniest-weirdest-sex-toys/425270/11 "2007-11-05T15:45:05Z")
Le bumpy bump. I’m sure there are you bunches of perverts lurking this thread, help me out, ya sickos! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2007, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-wise-and-noble-dopers-help-me-find-the-funniest-weirdest-sex-toys/425270/12 "2007-11-05T16:09:30Z")
For the tech savvy: condomcountry.com.au/item/t-vib-usb-kit-10func Plug & Play, baby! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2007, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-wise-and-noble-dopers-help-me-find-the-funniest-weirdest-sex-toys/425270/13 "2007-11-05T16:10:48Z")
Apparently there’s to be a special on just this topic this Thursday at 11 pm on HBO2. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2007, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-wise-and-noble-dopers-help-me-find-the-funniest-weirdest-sex-toys/425270/14 "2007-11-05T16:22:11Z")
Too bad you two are ladies. Otherwise I’d recommend Jenna’s Perfect Pair (disembodied fake tits modeled on those of Jenna Jameson) or the Pussy Foot (a model of a foot with a fake vagina in it). Links will be provided later if you really want them. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2007, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-wise-and-noble-dopers-help-me-find-the-funniest-weirdest-sex-toys/425270/15 "2007-11-05T16:57:57Z")
[QUOTE=Telperien] Too bad you two are ladies. Otherwise I’d recommend **Jenna’s Perfect Pair** (disembodied fake tits modeled on those of Jenna Jameson) or the Pussy Foot (a model of a foot with a fake vagina in it). Links will be provided later if you really want them. [/QUOTE] A model of fake tits? Sounds really erotic. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2007, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-wise-and-noble-dopers-help-me-find-the-funniest-weirdest-sex-toys/425270/16 "2007-11-05T17:25:46Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham] Apparently there’s to be a special on just this topic this Thursday at 11 pm on HBO2. [/QUOTE] Alas, I am cableless. The life of a college student is one wrought with heartbreak ☹ . Though, I’m sure the program will be incredibly informative. You should watch it and take notes for me- I will pay you in. . . smiley faces. 🙂 :mad: :rolleyes: 🆒😛😉 :dubious: 😃 :smack: :o 😕☹ :eek: Oh yes, I am most generous. **Telperien** , I am in no way, shape, or form opposed to sending someone a fuck foot, even if they can’t use it. I am _so_ Googling that and bookmarking it for potential purchasing later. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2007, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-wise-and-noble-dopers-help-me-find-the-funniest-weirdest-sex-toys/425270/17 "2007-11-05T17:36:44Z")
[QUOTE=DiosaBellissima] Alas, I am cableless. The life of a college student is one wrought with heartbreak ☹ . Though, I’m sure the program will be incredibly informative. You should watch it and take notes for me- I will pay you in. . . smiley faces. 🙂 :mad: :rolleyes: 🆒😛😉 :dubious: 😃 :smack: :o 😕☹ :eek: Oh yes, I am most generous. **Telperien** , I am in no way, shape, or form opposed to sending someone a fuck foot, even if they can’t use it. I am _so_ Googling that and bookmarking it for potential purchasing later. [/QUOTE] > **[The Stockroom | BDSM Gear, Sex Toys & Fetish Wear](https://stockroom.com/#erid5763898)** > > Stockroom.com is the internet's oldest source for sex toys and adult BDSM Gear products, with an emphasis on best quality & value. The best bondage gear, e-stim toys, chastity devices, leather fetish wear, dildos & harness, bondage restraints, puppy... It’s over your price limit, though. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2007, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-wise-and-noble-dopers-help-me-find-the-funniest-weirdest-sex-toys/425270/18 "2007-11-05T18:33:22Z")
Would a 6’ inflatable cock & balls qualify? Do a search for “Captain Pecker”. I’ve also heard of a Monica-inspired fuck doll, complete with “semen” stained blue dress. ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2007, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-wise-and-noble-dopers-help-me-find-the-funniest-weirdest-sex-toys/425270/19 "2007-11-07T21:07:05Z")
[http://www.lataco.com/taco/wp-content/uploads/rubber\_fist.jpg](http://www.lataco.com/taco/wp-content/uploads/rubber_fist.jpg) Also there’s an edible anus made of Belgian chocolate (edibleanus dot com). ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2007, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-wise-and-noble-dopers-help-me-find-the-funniest-weirdest-sex-toys/425270/20 "2007-11-08T01:31:51Z")
How about for the times when one person is out of town and the other is left behind–all alone. [Just say NO (way).](http://www.love-shop.biz/bdsm/chastity-devices/index.html) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-wise-and-noble-dopers-help-me-find-the-funniest-weirdest-sex-toys/425270.md?page=2)