# Ohhhhhhh, I get it, Enzyte Bob has a boner!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [March 13, 2004, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138 "2004-03-13T23:01:07Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)
#### Post date: [March 13, 2004, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/1 "2004-03-13T23:01:07Z")
I know you’ve seen the commercials for Enzyte - The once-a-day tablet for natural male enhancement ™ in which Bob, a rather happy fellow, is made to appear in various situations (pool party, meeting with Japanese businessmen, racing a car) with a huge smile on his face. This smile is supposed to represent his apparently rock hard penis.
These ads are far worse than anything Viagra has come up with.
No, I don’t have an ending for this…
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### Author:  [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)
#### Post date: [March 13, 2004, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/2 "2004-03-13T23:05:56Z")
I thought the one with the Japanese Businessmen was very clever.
“He is remaining firm”
“He is wood that will not bend!”
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### Author:  [@agiantdwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/agiantdwarf)
#### Post date: [March 13, 2004, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/3 "2004-03-13T23:14:43Z")
Argh, I hate, hate HATE whichever ad agency came up with those commercials. So annoying
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### Author:  [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)
#### Post date: [March 13, 2004, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/4 "2004-03-13T23:15:31Z")
Well, I would say “Fuck Enzyte Bob” … but that’s just not right!
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### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [March 13, 2004, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/5 "2004-03-13T23:19:21Z")
I like Enzyte Bob. That big shit-eatin’ grin never fails to crack me up. Also, the simple fact that American society has become so crude and debased that we’ve got penis pills being hocked on commercial television never fails to bring a warm glow to my heart.
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### Author:  [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)
#### Post date: [March 13, 2004, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/6 "2004-03-13T23:44:32Z")
Actually I think the idea is that Bob’s package is larger, rather than better functioning. I may be wrong.
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### Author:  [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)
#### Post date: [March 13, 2004, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/7 "2004-03-13T23:45:21Z")
> [@Blalron](#):
>
> I thought the one with the Japanese Businessmen was very clever.
>
> “He is remaining firm”
>
> “He is wood that will not bend!”
“They sent the big one”
“You’re a stiff negotiator”
Although the shoe thing at the beginning kinda confused me – do they mean it also enlarges your feet to match your meat?
(And like the Cialis ad says, a chubby that stays like that for hours on end is NOT a good thing…)
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### Author:  [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)
#### Post date: [March 13, 2004, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/8 "2004-03-13T23:53:15Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#):
>
> Although the shoe thing at the beginning kinda confused me – do they mean it also enlarges your feet to match your meat?
Well, you know what they say about guys with big feet…
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### Author:  [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)
#### Post date: [March 13, 2004, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/9 "2004-03-13T23:53:45Z")
> [@Really Not All That Bright](#):
>
> Actually I think the idea is that Bob’s package is larger, rather than better functioning. I may be wrong.
According to [the Enzyte website](http://www.enzyte.com/), enzyte is a treatment for ‘low quality’ (not as firm, not as large, not as sustainable as before) erections. Not full on impotance, but not penis enlargement, either.
I concur with the OP, I HATE those commercials. There’s something insanely creepy about ‘Enzyte Bob’.
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### Author:  [@The\_Tim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tim)
#### Post date: [March 14, 2004, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/10 "2004-03-14T00:00:32Z")
The comercials are vaguely creepy but I’m surprised no one has mentioned the positive message they include. Bob gets male enhancement of some sort from these penis pills and stays with his average wife of about his own age. It is promoting family values and respect for the desires of your wife.
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### Author:  [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)
#### Post date: [March 14, 2004, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/11 "2004-03-14T00:13:29Z")
> [@Tengu](#):
>
> There’s something insanely creepy about ‘Enzyte Bob’.
Bob’s thinking, “MUST FUCK SOMETHING! MUST FUCK SOMETHING!”
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### Author:  [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)
#### Post date: [March 14, 2004, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/12 "2004-03-14T00:34:37Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#):
>
> Although the shoe thing at the beginning kinda confused me…
Next time, see if you can note the size of the other guys’ shoes. They look like baby booties in comparison.
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### Author:  [@shy\_guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shy_guy)
#### Post date: [March 14, 2004, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/13 "2004-03-14T00:42:58Z")
Now, these commercials have been my most hated penis-commercials for like two years running, but I must say I think they’ve been dethroned by the weird-ass enlargement one with the guy cutting all the sausage. Eek.
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### Author:  [@look\_ninjas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/look_ninjas)
#### Post date: [March 14, 2004, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/14 "2004-03-14T01:17:34Z")
That hideous grin of his makes me think of the “Black Hole Sun” video. It creeps me out. It doesn’t even look happy.
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### Author:  [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)
#### Post date: [March 14, 2004, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/15 "2004-03-14T01:25:44Z")
See, it isn’t really a grin on ol’ Bob’s face. It’s a grimace of excruciating pain, brought about by priapsm.
That or his erection is so huge, it’s pulling all the skin on his body down. Just look at how tight his neck skin seems to be.
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### Author:  [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)
#### Post date: [March 14, 2004, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/16 "2004-03-14T01:38:54Z")
Not only is _his_ grin creepy, but so’s his wife’s. She looks embrarrassed, too.
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### Author:  [@Tony\_Montana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Montana)
#### Post date: [March 14, 2004, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/17 "2004-03-14T01:39:17Z")
> [@Blalron](#):
>
> Well, you know what they say about guys with big feet…
Yeah, guys with big feet, big noses and big hands are…clowns…\
Thanks you been a great audience, goodnight.
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### Author:  [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)
#### Post date: [March 14, 2004, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/18 "2004-03-14T01:41:07Z")
> [@Blalron](#):
>
> Well, you know what they say about guys with big feet…
Yeah, they wear big shoes.
I _hate_ those goddamn ads. I’d like to rip Boner Bob’s hard-on off at the roots and beat his teeth out with it. Let’s see how long he keeps smilin’ _then_.
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### Author:  [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)
#### Post date: [March 14, 2004, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/19 "2004-03-14T02:47:49Z")
Oooh!
_Angel Heart_ was one of my favorite movies. 🙂
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### Author:  [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)
#### Post date: [March 14, 2004, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/20 "2004-03-14T03:10:22Z")
> [@The Tim](#):
>
> The comercials are vaguely creepy but I’m surprised no one has mentioned the positive message they include. Bob gets male enhancement of some sort from these penis pills and stays with his average wife of about his own age. It is promoting family values and respect for the desires of your wife.
Well, sure. But Mrs. Bob looks put upon. She looks as though she’s worn out and must keep her husband appeased so that he keeps his mind off sex. Sex has become such a chore, although the orgasms have been mind-blowing.
Robin
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