# Ohhhhhhh, I get it, Enzyte Bob has a boner! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 13, 2004, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138 "2004-03-13T23:01:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Feit\_C\_Taj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ee59a6/32.png) [@Feit\_C\_Taj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feit_C_Taj)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2004, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/21 "2004-03-14T03:11:25Z")
I’m just upset that Bob has a big-ass grin, but no PIPE!!! ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2004, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/22 "2004-03-14T04:11:13Z")
Hmm. I guess I thought his pained smile was a combination of things. If a simple little pill puts an end to a year’s worth of blueballs, heck, why shouldn’t he grin like a douchebag? Besides, I think this guy’s absolutely got to smile; after all, based on what we know about shoe size, he’s walking around with a frickin’ Mag-Lite in his pocket. It’s one thing to have to shield your eyes when a buddy gets off the school bus with only a potted plant from Home Economics to hold in front of him. But let’s say I went to a barbecue and spied some freak sidling up, jabbing out at me through his Haggar slacks, only his puss looks like he just sat on a cactus. I’d be terrified. The shit-eating grin, at the very least, makes me feel like he’d be attentive to _my_ needs. In other words, despite the disparaging words of the lovely **MsRobyn** , I’m shocked more women aren’t flaming this ad, strictly for its implication. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2004, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/23 "2004-03-14T04:20:50Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > Bob’s thinking, “MUST FUCK SOMETHING! MUST FUCK SOMETHING!” [Enzyte fiend](http://www.derfcity.com/o/stiffy.html)! ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_Heart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Angel\_Heart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_Heart)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2004, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/24 "2004-03-14T04:25:09Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Oooh! > > _Angel Heart_ was one of my favorite movies. 🙂 Trust me, that is _not_ where my screen name comes from! :o ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2004, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/25 "2004-03-14T04:59:41Z")
It’s kind of delicious that the Religious Right can’t rail against the discussion of boners on TV, ever since Bob Dole did the Viagra commercials. (And what a strange symbol of male sexuality he was.) “What the hell is this, some kind of a tube?” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2004, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/26 "2004-03-14T06:47:22Z")
> [@Doktor Fluff](#): > > I’m just upset that Bob has a big-ass grin, but no PIPE!!! I thought his “pipe” was the whole point… ---
**Author:** ![Mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mojo)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2004, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/27 "2004-03-14T16:37:25Z")
> [@masonite](#): > > “What the hell is this, some kind of a tube?” 😃 “I’m gonna tear them a new corn chute!” ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2004, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/28 "2004-03-14T16:48:13Z")
I actually kinda like the Enzyte commercials. At least they don’t take themselves as seriously as all the other “male enhancement” products. I can’t stand Viagra, with it’s roster of big stars (Bob Dole, Rafael Palmeiro, etc.) trying to convince us to “ask your doctor for a free sample.” And there’s another brand (Levitra? can’t remember now) that goes for the overt symbolism approach, with a middle-aged man throwing a football through a swinging tire in his back yard. At first, he keeps missing, but after taking the product, he finds the hole perfectly every time. Get it? Get it? After that sort of crap, the Enzyte commercials are refreshingly lighthearted. ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2004, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/29 "2004-03-14T17:10:03Z")
I think I only saw the one with the Japanese business men. Pretty corny. Reminds me of the Viagra ad, I think it was, where that guy is walking around the office and all of his coworkers are like “Hey, you get a hair cut?” and “Did you loose weight?” . Of course, if I were in charge of that add, he’d just turn around and say “No, you’re just noticing my **enormous boner**.” ---
**Author:** ![Lando\_Griffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f17d59/32.png) [@Lando\_Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lando_Griffin)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2004, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/30 "2004-03-14T19:20:20Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > And there’s another brand (Levitra? can’t remember now) that goes for the overt symbolism approach, with a middle-aged man throwing a football through a swinging tire in his back yard. At first, he keeps missing, but after taking the product, he finds the hole perfectly every time. Get it? Get it? Actually, that middle-age man is Mike Ditka, the former coach of the Chicago Bears football team. > [@Joel](#): > > Reminds me of the Viagra ad, I think it was, where that guy is walking around the office and all of his coworkers are like “Hey, you get a hair cut?” and “Did you loose weight?” . Of course, if I were in charge of that add, he’d just turn around and say “No, you’re just noticing my enormous boner.” I think MAD TV parodied this and had the guy walking around his office in all kinds of uncomfortable situations (bumping into other people in the elevator, knocking pictures off of a desk as he walked by, etc.) ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2004, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/31 "2004-03-14T19:24:00Z")
> [@Lando Griffin](#): > > Actually, that middle-age man is Mike Ditka, the former coach of the Chicago Bears football team. Ditka does Levitra ads, but that’s not him throwing the ball through a tire. That’s some no-name doofus. ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2004, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/32 "2004-03-14T19:33:42Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > And there’s another brand (Levitra? can’t remember now) that goes for the overt symbolism approach, with a middle-aged man throwing a football through a swinging tire in his back yard. At first, he keeps missing, but after taking the product, he finds the hole perfectly every time. Get it? Get it? Fuck me, is that what that’s for? I just always assumed it was an arthritis drug or something like that, because that’s what aging football players/coaches are inevitably promoting… ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2004, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/33 "2004-03-14T20:11:17Z")
> [@Lando Griffin](#): > > Actually, that middle-age man is Mike Ditka, the former coach of the Chicago Bears football team. As **dantheman** points out, Ditka is in a different ad. The guy in my ad is some generic, square-jawed guy with a wife who looks about 15 years younger. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2004, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/34 "2004-03-14T20:52:11Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > I thought his “pipe” was the whole point… Obviously, you’re not a follower of [J. R. “Bob” Dobbs, High Epopt of the Church of the SubGenius](http://www.subgenius.com/). ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2004, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/35 "2004-03-14T21:41:30Z")
Or maybe I was just making a penis joke. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2004, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/36 "2004-03-14T21:46:44Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > Or maybe I was just making a penis joke. Yeah, and the next thing you’ll try to tell me is that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but I ain’t buyin’ it, buddy. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2004, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/37 "2004-03-15T01:23:21Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > Yeah, and the next thing you’ll try to tell me is that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but I ain’t buyin’ it, buddy. Well, you can’t expect people to just _give_ you a cigar. ---
**Author:** ![JoeSki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b487fb/32.png) [@JoeSki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeSki)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2004, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/38 "2004-03-15T02:42:34Z")
The commercials don’t bother me…they can cause akward moments of silence when they come on around friends and family, but sometimes they’re funny. The people in those commercials always look sweaty though. What’s with that? ---
**Author:** ![Poetgrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@Poetgrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poetgrrl)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2004, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/39 "2004-03-15T03:04:51Z")
I dunno, are these commercials any better/worse than commercials for pills that supposedly make your boobs bigger? (bloussant) Forgive me for being dense, but whenever discussions of Viagra like products or their ilk come up, I have a hard time telling whether or not people have a problem with just the commercial itself, or the fact that drugs exist that help men having trouble with getting erections? Have men become so emasculated by society that they aren’t allowed to have erections anymore? ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2004, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138/40 "2004-03-15T05:20:26Z")
Enzyte is for your COCK!?!?! I thought those were spleen enlargement pills? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohhhhhhh-i-get-it-enzyte-bob-has-a-boner/234138.md?page=3)