# Ohio death row inmate sings "Too Fat Polka" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 8, 2008, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264 "2008-08-08T04:39:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/21 "2008-08-08T17:14:58Z")
[QUOTE=Giles] I did a quick search for information on him, and found that he was severed abused by his father as a child. So the solution for childhood abuse leading to a stupid rape and murder at the age of 19 is 22 years in prison followed by a botched death? Well, I say fuck that in return. [/QUOTE] I agree. The 22 years in prison were an unreasonable burden upon the taxpayers of Ohio. One case review should have been sufficient before carrying out the sentence, such that this piece of shit should have been gone two decades ago. Unfortunately, no matter how evil the crime, some weepy fuckstick like you comes in babbling excuses. He was abused. Mommy spanked him too roughly. Daddy made him eat beets. The gym teacher said his peepee was little. Blah, blah, and fucking blah. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/22 "2008-08-08T17:26:50Z")
[QUOTE=vetbridge] If his obesity and poor veins stood in the way of cannulizing a vessel as required for a life saving procedure, a cut-down would be done. May I suggest the same effort be expended to end his life? [/QUOTE] By who, the guards? No physician would take part in an execution. They are there to confirm death only. They do not administer drugs, or put in IV’s, or anything that would enable the execution. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/23 "2008-08-08T17:29:28Z")
[QUOTE=danceswithcats] I’m really sick and tired of bullshit appeals launched by these bastards who want me to get all in a lather over their feelings at the very end. The two young women he raped and murdered didn’t draw their last breath amidst peals of gleeful laughter. [/QUOTE] Heaven forbid we should aspire to greater humanity than a double murderer. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/24 "2008-08-08T17:31:52Z")
[QUOTE=danceswithcats] Unfortunately, no matter how evil the crime, some weepy fuckstick like you comes in babbling excuses. He was abused. Mommy spanked him too roughly. Daddy made him eat beets. The gym teacher said his peepee was little. Blah, blah, and fucking blah. [/QUOTE] This from about 5 years ago: [QUOTE=Amnesty International] At the time of the crime, Richard Cooey was a teenager emerging from a childhood of parental abuse and neglect. According to the clemency petition, when Richard was a young child, his father adopted a toilet training regime that included shoving the child’s head into the toilet or rubbing the child’s face in his own faeces. The father, who abused drugs and alcohol, allegedly used to hit the boy in the face without provocation or warning, and would beat him with a belt and his hands, sometimes to the point of drawing blood. Richard Cooey’s mother also developed a drinking problem. The boy began drinking alcohol from the age of five. By the age of 12, he was using marijuana, speed, and/or opiates on a daily basis. At the time of the crime in August 1986, two months past the age of 19, Richard Cooey was on a month’s leave from the army, and had engaged in a three week drinking and drug binge. On the day of the murders, he had consumed marijuana, beer, cocaine and opium with his two friends. [/QUOTE] [http://www.amnesty.org/en/library/asset/AMR51/101/2003/en/dom-AMR511012003en.html](http://www.amnesty.org/en/library/asset/AMR51/101/2003/en/dom-AMR511012003en.html) I don’t believe in the death penalty for anyone, but I certainly don’t believe in it for an abused drug-addicted teenager. ---
**Author:** ![Pullet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Pullet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pullet)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/25 "2008-08-08T17:33:55Z")
[QUOTE=PaulParkhead] I think we could be talking at cross-purposes here. Or am I just missing the point? It’s happened before. 🙂 [/QUOTE] The point is what **Vetbridge** said. If we’ve agreed that Cooey is on the “Evil! Evil! Kill!” side of the parabola, then there are a number of ways to provide him with the painless death he doesn’t deserve without spending more money on this asshole’s appeal instead of the disadvantaged kids who are rapidly becoming next year’s rock-throwing, dishonest, raping, torturing, murdering, whiney, sob-story shitstains. Is that the same point you were making? ETA: **Fear Itself** IIRC, they have a trained phlebotomist install the catheter to administer the drugs. Doing a cut-down to place the catheter is not that much more complicated. I’ve done several myself on cattle. If I’ve been misinformed, please tell me. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/26 "2008-08-08T17:43:28Z")
[QUOTE=Fear Itself] By who, the guards? No physician would take part in an execution. They are there to confirm death only. They do not administer drugs, or put in IV’s, or anything that would enable the execution. [/QUOTE] I’m pretty good at venipuncture, and would gladly offer my expertise to the state. I’d even waive any fees; or donate the money to the survivors or their chosen charities. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/27 "2008-08-08T17:48:09Z")
[QUOTE=Pullet] ETA: **Fear Itself** IIRC, they have a trained phlebotomist install the catheter to administer the drugs. Doing a cut-down to place the catheter is not that much more complicated. I’ve done several myself on cattle. If I’ve been misinformed, please tell me. [/QUOTE] The American Medical Association (AMA) and the National Association of Emergency Medical Technicians (NAEMT) are [both on record](http://www.deathpenaltyinfo.org/article.php?did=1849&scid=64) as being against their members assisting in executions. I don’t know what body governs trained phlebotomists, but I would be surprised if they did not also believe that assisting in executions violates the basic ethical foundation of medicine; “first, do no harm.” ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/28 "2008-08-08T17:51:20Z")
[QUOTE=vetbridge] I’m pretty good at venipuncture, and would gladly offer my expertise to the state. I’d even waive any fees; or donate the money to the survivors or their chosen charities. [/QUOTE] I am satisfied that you, as a veterinarian, would not be violating any medical ethics. However, I doubt any state would like to be labelled as the one that uses vets to put down their death row inmates. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/29 "2008-08-08T17:53:53Z")
[QUOTE=vetbridge] I’m pretty good at venipuncture, and would gladly offer my expertise to the state. I’d even waive any fees; or donate the money to the survivors or their chosen charities. [/QUOTE] Don’t you have to take the Howlocratic Oath or something? I admit to being completely mystified how we can readily and painlessly end an animal’s suffering through euthanasia, but the comparable procedure in the case of a condemned murderer is equated to torture. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/30 "2008-08-08T17:56:30Z")
[QUOTE=Fear Itself] IHowever, I doubt any state would like to be labelled as the one that uses vets to put down their death row inmates. [/QUOTE] Cite? In Oregon, for one example, the catheter(s) (one primary, one back-up) are placed by [medidally trained individuals.](http://www.oregon.gov/DOC/PUBAFF/cap_punishment/capital_punishment.shtml) [QUOTE= Oregon DOC] Medically trained individuals connect a heart monitor to the inmate which helps determine when death has occurred. They also insert two intravenous catheters – one primary and one back-up – in the most appropriate locations on the inmate’s body, usually the arms and/or hands. [/QUOTE] Just saying, I’d happily offer my help. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/31 "2008-08-08T18:00:33Z")
[QUOTE=Jackmannii] Don’t you have to take the Howlocratic Oath or something? I admit to being completely mystified how we can readily and painlessly end an animal’s suffering through euthanasia, but the comparable procedure in the case of a condemned murderer is equated to torture. [/QUOTE] Because none of the other animals start stomping their hooves and bleating nonsense about how mean Farmer Brown was to Bossie when she was just a calf. ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/32 "2008-08-08T18:06:47Z")
See, this is where chain gangs would come in handy. It’s hard to stay fat and flabby when you’re pounding rocks. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/33 "2008-08-08T18:19:31Z")
[QUOTE=vetbridge] Cite? [/QUOTE] That it would be a public relations nightmare to equate inmates with animals to be euthanized? As a death penalty opponent, I sincerely hope you can convince a state to take you up on your offer. > [@](#): > > In Oregon, for one example, the catheter(s) (one primary, one back-up) are placed by [medidally trained individuals.](http://www.oregon.gov/DOC/PUBAFF/cap_punishment/capital_punishment.shtml) That is rather vague as to the medical training of the staff that conducts the execution. Any medical professional would find themselves at odds with their governing body, though I suppose one could learn the basics from Wikipedia. I would be interested to know more. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/34 "2008-08-08T18:22:10Z")
[QUOTE=Fear Itself] That it would be a public relations nightmare to equate inmates with animals to be euthanized? [/QUOTE] No, that executions are not currently done by veterinarians. Would you know if they were? Do you know the specific training of the individuals assisting in executions? Neither do I. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/35 "2008-08-08T18:27:42Z")
A lot of locals have offered to buy him some SlimFast. The firing squad idea has come up, of course, as has hanging: that’s when a little extra weight doesn’t hurt. I used to have no issues with the death penalty. As I’ve gotten older, I have become – as Vinyl Turnip put it “albeit somewhat waveringly—philosophically opposed to the death penalty.” This is where I waver. Remembering that horrible crime and those two poor girls so close to my own age makes it very hard to say something like, “Well, he had such a bad upbringing that led to his bad decisions. He doesn’t deserve to die.” I had a terrible childhood myself – nothing like described above, but pretty bad – so I do have some sympathy for him in that. But he is not now trying to evade death based on the circumstances of his life. He is trying to evade death because he believes it would be too difficult for the state to carry out the penalty it has chosen to impose. Next thing, he will sue the state for allowing him to become obese. I disagree with the OP’s suggestion to “wean him off the Topamax.” I take Topamax to prevent migraines and if he needs it, to discontinue it would not be humane. They can wean him off the chicken-fried steak, instead. If the state wishes to execute him, they can find a way to do so. ---
**Author:** ![Pullet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Pullet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pullet)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/36 "2008-08-08T18:47:44Z")
[QUOTE=Fear Itself] Any medical professional would find themselves at odds with their governing body, [/QUOTE] If the AMA is anything like the AVMA, there’s a lot of space between something they publically disapprove of and something they’d punish one of their members for doing. Also, membership in the AVMA is not required to practice veterinary medicine. Where’s **Quadop**? ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/37 "2008-08-08T18:52:14Z")
It’s about time. The sooner we kill this raping murderer asshole, the sooner the two people he killed will spring back to life. Frankly, I’m amazed it’s taken this long. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/38 "2008-08-08T18:55:08Z")
[QUOTE=vetbridge] No, that executions are not currently done by veterinarians. Would you know if they were? [/QUOTE] It is certainly something I will investigate. A gold mine for our side if you are right. One thing I did locate was this, from the website of the American Veterinarian Medical Association: [AVMA Animal Welfare Principles](http://www.avma.org/issues/policy/animal_welfare/principles.asp) > [@](#): > > Animals should be cared for in ways that minimize fear, pain, stress, and suffering. Kudos if you can do a cut down preceding an execution that minimized fear, pain, stress, and suffering. [Principles of Veterinary Medical Ethics of the AVMA](http://www.avma.org/issues/policy/ethics.asp) > [@](#): > > Veterinarians should first consider the needs of the patient: to relieve disease, suffering, or disability while minimizing pain or fear. > > … > > It is unethical for veterinarians to prescribe or dispense prescription products in the absence of a VCPR. > > … > > THE VETERINARIAN-CLIENT-PATIENT RELATIONSHIP > > The veterinarian-client-patient relationship (VCPR) is the basis for interaction among veterinarians, their clients, and their patients. A VCPR exists when \*\*all of the following conditions have been met: \*\* > > The veterinarian has assumed responsibility for making clinical judgements regarding the health of the animal(s) and the need for medical treatment, and the client has agreed to follow the veterinarians instructions. > **The veterinarian has sufficient knowledge of the animal(s) to initiate at least a general or preliminary diagnosis of the medical condition of the animal(s). This means that the veterinarian has recently seen and is personally acquainted with the keeping and care of the animal(s) by virtue of an examination of the animal(s), or by medically appropriate and timely visits to the premises where the animal(s) are kept.** > The veterinarian is readily available, or has arranged for emergency coverage, for follow-up evaluation in the event of adverse reactions or the failure of the treatment regimen. I would be interested in your opinion of how a veterinarian could establish a VCPR with an inmate. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/39 "2008-08-08T19:16:29Z")
How hard is it to put in an IV, anyway? Couldn’t any reasonably dexterous person learn how in a week or so of training? Personally, I think you should just stick him in a chamber and pump the air out. He’ll faint and die pretty quickly and easily. You just have to leave in him for ten minutes or so to be completely sure. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/40 "2008-08-08T19:22:41Z")
[QUOTE=Giles] I don’t believe in the death penalty for anyone, but I certainly don’t believe in it for an abused drug-addicted teenager. [/QUOTE] 'Course, not all abused drug-addicted teenagers are murders, nor have all murderers been abused drug-addicted teenagers. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264.md?page=3)