# Ohio death row inmate sings "Too Fat Polka" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 8, 2008, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264 "2008-08-08T04:39:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2008, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/81 "2008-08-10T03:51:01Z")
[QUOTE=Capt. Ridley’s Shooting Party] Why would the state rape rapists? [/QUOTE] i was extending DWC’s logic: [QUOTE=danceswithcats] They don’t sentence you to die unless you intentionally cause someone else to die. [/QUOTE] I still would like to know why willful homicide alone must be answered with willful homicide, when this kind of equitability of sentencing is not practiced with any other crime. ---
**Author:** ![LilShieste](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@LilShieste](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilShieste)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2008, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/82 "2008-08-10T04:00:11Z")
[QUOTE=greatshakes] Well, that settles that! [/QUOTE] Do you think murdering someone for revenge is not just as stupid and horrendous as plain ol’ murder? > [@danceswithcats](#): > > It’s not revenge, it’s this running deal the judicial system has with all of us, you see. They don’t sentence you to die unless you intentionally cause someone else to die. If you break the deal, then it sucks to be you. This judicial system guy sounds kind of dangerous. [QUOTE=Capt. Ridley’s Shooting Party] Why would the state rape rapists? [/quote] It seems to follow along with this logic: > [@danceswithcats](#): > > They don’t sentence you to die unless you intentionally cause someone else to die. So, the answer to your question is: “They don’t rape you unless you intentionally rape someone else.” Totally fair. ---
**Author:** ![LilShieste](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@LilShieste](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilShieste)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2008, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/83 "2008-08-10T04:02:33Z")
[QUOTE=Fear Itself] i was extending DWC’s logic:I still would like to know why willful homicide alone must be answered with willful homicide, when this kind of equitability of sentencing is not practiced with any other crime. [/QUOTE] Heck, [who needs equitibility](http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,198931,00.html)? ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2008, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/84 "2008-08-10T05:10:14Z")
I think everybody should give **danceswithscat** and **the artificial vegetable** a break. After all, they’ll never confront a litterer, much less a murderer, so we need not worry about _their_ thirst for blood. Their impulse for someone _else_ to do so, so they can gloat about it, is as impotent as it is infantile in every other respect. However… Certain people are considered horrific because they do horrible things, which are considered horrible because they harm others and are of a nature very few of us can contemplate inflicting ourselves. The more people (including ourselves) who can dream of pain and death visited upon others with pleasure or satisfaction, the less right we have to condemn. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2008, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/85 "2008-08-10T07:29:21Z")
Thank you so very much for coming in to offer nothing other than some screen name fun poking. Your fellow fourth graders are no doubt amused. For those of you wishing to continue discussion or argument about the case of Mr. Cooey and his efforts to stave off his death sentence, the thread will continue below. ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2008, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/86 "2008-08-10T08:06:30Z")
[QUOTE=danceswithcats] It’s not revenge, it’s this running deal the judicial system has with all of us, you see. They don’t sentence you to die unless you intentionally cause someone else to die. If you break the deal, then it sucks to be you. I’m one of the folks who believe in holding up my end of a deal. 😛 [/QUOTE] Problem is though, that our justice system isn’t so equitable. Only a small percentage of murderers get sentenced to death, and when they do it’s after years of appeals. There’s also the disturbing fact that a minority is disproportionately more likely to be sentenced to death than a white guy who committed the same crime. Here’s a [cite](http://www.aclu.org/capital/unequal/index.html) > [@ACLU](#): > > \> South Carolina prosecutors “are 3 times more likely to seek the death penalty in white victim cases than in black victim cases.” > \> "Prosecutors are 3.5 times more likely to seek the death penalty when a black defendant kills a white victim than in all other defendant/victim combinations combined. > \> “Cases involving female victims are 2.5 times as likely to result in capital prosecutions as cases with male victims.” > \> “[P]rosecutors in rural districts are 5 times more likely to seek the death penalty than their urban counterparts.” ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2008, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/87 "2008-08-10T08:27:43Z")
[QUOTE=Blalron] Problem is though, that our justice system isn’t so equitable. Only a small percentage of murderers get sentenced to death, and when they do it’s after years of appeals. There’s also the disturbing fact that a minority is disproportionately more likely to be sentenced to death than a white guy who committed the same crime. Here’s a [cite](http://www.aclu.org/capital/unequal/index.html) [/QUOTE] You, and others continue to try to turn this into a broad debate on the merits or lack thereof regarding the death penalty. I pitted one guy who is putting up bullshit excuses to avoid facing his sentence. ETA: Yes, I’ve allowed myself to get sucked in. Let’s get back on topic. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2008, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/88 "2008-08-10T08:32:49Z")
Words mean things. Taking the life of a convicted & sentenced-to-death rapist-torturer-murderer is not “murder”. I favor lethal injection only as a concession to this modern squeamish age & the Constitution’s anti-“cruel & unusual punishment” clause. Otherwise, I’d be for bringing the bastard into the town square where the victims’ family & friends are closest up with the biggest rocks, and then the rest of the community follows their lead. ---
**Author:** ![George\_Kaplin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3e96dc/32.png) [@George\_Kaplin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/George_Kaplin)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2008, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/89 "2008-08-10T12:09:37Z")
… ---
**Author:** ![Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sophistry_and_Illusion)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2008, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/90 "2008-08-10T12:25:45Z")
[QUOTE=FriarTed] Otherwise, I’d be for bringing the bastard into the town square where the victims’ family & friends are closest up with the biggest rocks, and then the rest of the community follows their lead. [/QUOTE] Just like Jesus used to do! ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2008, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/91 "2008-08-10T13:01:35Z")
[QUOTE=Sophistry and Illusion] Just like Jesus used to do! [/QUOTE] Shit, Jesus got that “Lake of Fire” shit. That’s some cold motherfuckin’ \*shit \* right there. I would say more, but I require medical attention. A pious rebuke from the \*\*Menudo Monarch \*\* has left me with oozing stigmata in the oddest places. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2008, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/92 "2008-08-10T13:03:47Z")
[QUOTE=Sophistry and Illusion] Just like Jesus used to do! [/QUOTE] They didn’t bring a rapist-torturer-murderer of teenage girls. The same voice that spoke the Sermon on the Mount also spoke the Covenant Law to Noah and Moses decreeing that murderers be executed. Although I will concede Jesus in His earthly life only spoke of tying rocks around child-abusers necks & throwing them into the sea (a policy the Catholic hierarchy would have been very wise to follow). ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2008, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/93 "2008-08-10T13:05:15Z")
[QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip] Shit, Jesus got that “Lake of Fire” shit. That’s some cold motherfuckin’ \*shit \* right there. [/QUOTE] Wellllll, not exactly cold… 😃 And I don’t think that’s stigmata. I recommend a shot of penicillin. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2008, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/94 "2008-08-10T15:22:07Z")
[QUOTE=Fish] Maybe in the future, execution orders could be changed from “sentenced to death by X method” into “sentenced to death by any constitutionally approved method.” That way there’s nothing to weasel against. Too fat to hang? Inject him. Too flabby to inject? Gas him. Throw in a nice provision that execution duties could be farmed out to another state with a different method, and you’d have a bushel basket of execution methods. [/QUOTE] I’m reminded of this exchange: **Mudd:** Do you know what the penalty for fraud is on Deneb V? **Spock:** The guilty party has his choice: death by electrocution, death by gas, death by phaser, death by hanging… ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2008, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/95 "2008-08-10T15:25:49Z")
[QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip] Shit, Jesus got that “Lake of Fire” shit. [/QUOTE] And the “millstone around the neck and dump into the sea” image. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2008, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/96 "2008-08-10T15:29:50Z")
[QUOTE=Steve MB] And the “millstone around the neck and dump into the sea” image. [/QUOTE] Jesus never suggested that as an earthly punishment. > [@](#): > > **Matthew 18:6** > But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, **it would be better for him** to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. He is warning that god’s judgement of them will be far worse than the millstone/neck/sea imagery. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2008, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/97 "2008-08-10T15:58:43Z")
[QUOTE=danceswithcats] I pitted one guy who is putting up bullshit excuses to avoid facing his sentence. [/quote] Absolutely! Bullshit excuse. It’s like he doesn’t _want_ to be executed. > [@danceswithcats](#): > > ETA: Yes, I’ve allowed myself to get sucked in. Let’s get back on topic. And what, in your mind, is the topic, exactly? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2008, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/98 "2008-08-10T17:31:06Z")
[QUOTE=Fear Itself] Jesus never suggested that as an earthly punishment. He is warning that god’s judgement of them will be far worse than the millstone/neck/sea imagery. [/QUOTE] Heaven forbid we should aspire to greater humanity than God… ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2008, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/99 "2008-08-10T17:39:50Z")
[QUOTE=Baldwin] Absolutely! Bullshit excuse. It’s like he doesn’t _want_ to be executed. [/QUOTE] He should have given that item consideration before engaging in the rape and murder of two females. I seriously doubt either young lady wished to die in the manner inflicted upon them by Cooey, but we can’t ask them, now can we? ---
**Author:** ![Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cc9497/32.png) [@Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt.Ridley_s_Shooting_Party)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2008, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264/100 "2008-08-10T19:18:23Z")
[QUOTE=Fear Itself] i was extending DWC’s logic:I still would like to know why willful homicide alone must be answered with willful homicide, when this kind of equitability of sentencing is not practiced with any other crime. [/QUOTE] It doesn’t follow that logic at all. The death penalty being imposed for murder implies nothing of the punishment for other crimes, just as imprisoning a kidnapper implies nothing of the punishment for shoplifting. Look, I’m against the DP, but some of the arguments in this thread, and others like it, are frankly embarrassing. IMO, there’s only really one strong argument against the DP, and that’s that there’s a possibility that an innocent man may be executed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-death-row-inmate-sings-too-fat-polka/459264.md?page=6)