# Ohio Legislature Prohibiting All Forms of Adult Anything **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 15, 2005, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-legislature-prohibiting-all-forms-of-adult-anything/303906 "2005-05-15T03:54:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-legislature-prohibiting-all-forms-of-adult-anything/303906/1 "2005-05-15T03:54:46Z")
If this law passes, I guess you’re gonna need a permit to wipe yourself. [Check out this trip down the cashew path.](http://www.avn.com/index.php?Primary_Navigation=Articles&Action=Print_Article&Content_ID=226719) :rolleyes: Is Ohio in the throes of being overrun by a wave of rampant smut? Or is it rampant overreaction and stupidity? ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-legislature-prohibiting-all-forms-of-adult-anything/303906/2 "2005-05-15T04:02:03Z")
Well kids, cue up “Smut” by Tom Lehrer. It’s off to filthy preverted war we go. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-legislature-prohibiting-all-forms-of-adult-anything/303906/3 "2005-05-15T04:50:33Z")
I think that person who wrote that bill is obviously a pervert. Linking to the bill is an act of perversion. This forum is under arrest. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-legislature-prohibiting-all-forms-of-adult-anything/303906/4 "2005-05-15T05:15:06Z")
Sigh, and people wonder why I keep hoping aliens will show up and wipe us out. ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-legislature-prohibiting-all-forms-of-adult-anything/303906/5 "2005-05-15T05:27:21Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > Sigh, and people wonder why I keep hoping aliens will show up and wipe us out. The more of this I see the more I long for the [Stark Fist of Removal](http://www.subgenius.com/pam1/pamphlet_p1.html). ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-legislature-prohibiting-all-forms-of-adult-anything/303906/6 "2005-05-15T05:43:16Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > [Check out this trip down the cashew path.](http://www.avn.com/index.php?Primary_Navigation=Articles&Action=Print_Article&Content_ID=226719) :rolleyes: [Citzens for Community Values](http://www.ccv.org/Community_Defense_Act_of_2005.htm) (Officially Associated with Focus on the Family as a Family Policy Council in Ohio · Phil Burress, President) on HB23 “Protecting Communities from the Harms of Sexually Oriented Businesses” [Dominionists Try to Get Control of Ohio Government Posts](http://www.yuricareport.com/Dominionism/DominionistsTryToControlOhio.html) > [@](#): > > “We’re very confused that you have a Republican Party platform, and yet people running for higher office pay no attention to it,” said Phil Burress, the leader of the Issue 1 campaign, who is also helping organize the Restoration Project. “Why don’t they just become Democrats?” he asked. [The Ohio Restoration Project](http://ohiorestorationproject.com/) > [@](#): > > America Has a Mission to Share a Living Savior With a Dying World ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-legislature-prohibiting-all-forms-of-adult-anything/303906/7 "2005-05-15T07:39:59Z")
> [@Zoe](#): > > I think that person who wrote that bill is obviously a pervert. Linking to the bill is an act of perversion. This forum is under arrest. I think he’s some kind of deviated prevert, organizing some kind of mutiny of preverts. (One day, my title here is going to be Deviated Prevert. Just you watch.) > [@Squink](#): > > “Protecting Communities from the Harms of Sexually Oriented Businesses” On the face of it, that would “protect a community” from any physician who diagnoses or treats STDs, urogenital disorders, or other sexual dysfunctions. > [@](#): > > America Has a Mission to Share a Living Savior With a Dying World My god, they’re bringing Jesus to the zombies! :eek: (“You will now recieve the blood and the body of Christ, _ **not the bloody vicar you vicious animal!** _ I kick ass for the Lord!”) ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-legislature-prohibiting-all-forms-of-adult-anything/303906/8 "2005-05-15T07:52:13Z")
I saw this on [Fark.com](http://Fark.com) My work computer wont let me access it though. I can’t wait to get home and read it. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-legislature-prohibiting-all-forms-of-adult-anything/303906/9 "2005-05-15T13:22:51Z")
I slogged through the text of that mind-rotting monstrosity and now I Um, ah, I was gonna say somethin we gotta yeh make stinkin prevrt demcrats an femnazzzzis an islaminals hahahaha yeh stinkin tryn takeover good christen nashun asdljfoewbv’pihaevp’oizdfbposfdj ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-legislature-prohibiting-all-forms-of-adult-anything/303906/10 "2005-05-15T13:46:59Z")
Did anyone read the article? Huh. I was the only one, apparently. > [@](#): > > Ohio women who use tampons can now rest easy that they’re engaging in “sexual conduct,” which is now defined under Sec. 2907.01 as “vaginal intercourse between a male and female; anal intercourse, fellatio, and cunnilingus between persons regardless of sex; and, without privilege to do so, the insertion, however slight, of any part of the body or any instrument, apparatus, or other object into the vaginal or anal cavity of another. Penetration, however slight, is sufficient to complete vaginal or anal intercourse.” The proposed law (as quoted) would not apply to Ohio women who use tampons, because it would criminalize only the insertion of objects _without privilege to do so_. > [@](#): > > Likewise, office workers will want to take care who they bump into at the water cooler, since “sexual contact” is now “any touching of an erogenous zone of another, including without limitation the thigh, genitals, buttock, pubic region, or, if the person is a female, a breast, for the purpose of sexually arousing or gratifying either person.” And violators of either standard will also find that they have engaged in “sexual activity.” If an office worker is bumping into his co-worker’s thighs, genitals, buttocks or pubic regions at the water cooler for the purpose of sexual arousal or gratification, then I believe that is fairly characterized as sexual contact. But I guess I’m alone in that analysis, because no one else objected… ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-legislature-prohibiting-all-forms-of-adult-anything/303906/11 "2005-05-15T13:58:24Z")
I have to wonder if the idiots behind this law realize that by it’s very nature it will let them attack such venues of smut as Wal-Mart, Barnes&Noble, any place that sells comic books, Blockbuster, any place of business selling video or computer games… I suspect they do know. But I hope I’m wrong. _sigh_ Thank you, Big Brother. ---
**Author:** ![Anaptyxis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/anaptyxis/32/3171_2.png) [@Anaptyxis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaptyxis)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-legislature-prohibiting-all-forms-of-adult-anything/303906/12 "2005-05-15T14:06:49Z")
I was going to come in (heh, heh) and say the same thing, **Bricker**. Moreover, inserting a tampon is only “sexual” if you insert it in someone else… > [@](#): > > the insertion, however slight, of any part of the body or any instrument, apparatus, or other object into the vaginal or anal cavity of **another** (bolding mine) There’s enough to object to in this bill without the need to exaggerate its meaning. E.g., I hope that Barnes & Noble doesn’t make too much money selling copies of “Lady Chatterly’s Lover”. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-legislature-prohibiting-all-forms-of-adult-anything/303906/13 "2005-05-15T14:08:35Z")
It’s not just a stupid law, it’s a BAD law. If it allows every town to set their own definitions of obscenity (as I read it, it does) and then seize the property, assets etc. It allows them to arbitrarily change their definition at will and any time it suits them. So, they are legally allowed to rob and pillage. Then there is the whole “how do you define obscene” fiasco. Welcome to the Dark Ages. ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-legislature-prohibiting-all-forms-of-adult-anything/303906/14 "2005-05-15T14:09:20Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Did anyone read the article? I noticed the same things, Bricker. Though, to be fair, the tampon part was followed by the rather vague phrase sentence > [@](#): > > Penetration, however slight, is sufficient to complete vaginal or anal intercourse. The language is vague enough that I’m not sure if it requires ‘privilege’ or not. In general, though, I think this bill is just another attempt by the radical Christian right to impose their moral values on everyone. Adult businesses should not be required to follow bullshit rules just to please people who are trying to put them out of business. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-legislature-prohibiting-all-forms-of-adult-anything/303906/15 "2005-05-15T14:11:03Z")
Actually, I wasn’t thinking so much about Lady Chatterly’s Lover, or Lolita, but rather sales of comic books. Which figure characters in states of dress that are obviously intended to arouse base instincts in the reader/viewer. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-legislature-prohibiting-all-forms-of-adult-anything/303906/16 "2005-05-15T14:22:34Z")
Back in 1928, my grandparents had to elope to Ohio in order to get married - apparently they were too young, according to West Virginia law but not in Ohio. Interesting how things change… ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-legislature-prohibiting-all-forms-of-adult-anything/303906/17 "2005-05-15T14:55:23Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > If an office worker is bumping into his co-worker’s thighs, genitals, buttocks or pubic regions at the water cooler for the purpose of sexual arousal or gratification, then I believe that is fairly characterized as sexual contact. > > But I guess I’m alone in that analysis, because no one else objected… The issue this raises is how do you tell the purpose of the contact. It’s going to be fairly easy if the person in question is a slavering pervert with a circus tent being raised in his pants as soon as he makes contact. Unfortunately they aren’t all like that. This could also raise loads of cases of perceived sexual harassment because somebody in an elevator brushed up against something or two people bump each other going around a corner and one person feels violated. I work in a deli and I bump into coworkers all the time behind the counter. This law is stupid pointless feel good legislation made to protect those of “high moral character” and “strong religious and family values.” Then there is this little nugget. > [@](#): > > For one thing, it permits zoning regulation on a township-by-township basis, allowing township attorneys or their hirees to “abate [adult businesses] as a nuisance,” and to thereafter sell the business’ contents and apply the proceeds to their own attorney fees! And this > [@](#): > > Sec. 2907.01(F) attempts to define “obscene,” but aside from the usual mentions of “prurient interest,” the ghost of Andrea Dworkin also rears its ugly head in subsection (2), where the criterion is that the work’s “dominant tendency is to arouse lust by displaying or depicting sexual activity, masturbation, sexual excitement, or nudity in a way that tends to represent human beings as mere objects of sexual appetite.” (We’re confident that Mae West would say, “Honey, there’s nothin’ ‘mere’ about it!”) This part’s a gem. > [@](#): > > “An establishment may have other principal business purposes that do not involve the offering for sale, rental, or viewing of materials exhibiting or describing specified sexual activities or specified anatomical areas and still be categorized as an adult bookstore, adult novelty store, or adult video store. The existence of other principal business purposes does not exempt an establishment from being categorized as an adult bookstore, adult novelty store, or adult video store so long as one of its principal business purposes is offering for sale or rental, for some form of consideration, such materials that exhibit or describe specified sexual activities or specified anatomical areas.” Guess you aren’t the only one that read the article. You may be the only one that just skimmed to the easy to defend points though. ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-legislature-prohibiting-all-forms-of-adult-anything/303906/18 "2005-05-15T15:02:28Z")
And while I’m at it, [here](http://www.legislature.state.oh.us/bills.cfm?ID=126_HB_23) is a link to a non-foaming at the mouth cite for the bill. Hope ya’ll like pure and unfiltered governmentalese. ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-legislature-prohibiting-all-forms-of-adult-anything/303906/19 "2005-05-15T16:12:43Z")
> [@Harborwolf](#): > > The issue this raises is how do you tell the purpose of the contact. Unexpected consequences cropped up in Ohio’s “defense of marriage” amendment, also championed by Phil Burress. It seems it now may be legal to beat up on your boyfriend/girlfriend/SO, as long as you’re [not married to them](http://www.ohio.com/mld/beaconjournal/news/state/10809508.htm). [Judge cites Ohio anti-marriage amendment in throwing out domestic violence charge](http://www.queerday.com/2005/mar/24/judge_cites_ohio_antimarriage_amendment_in_throwing_out_domestic_violence_charge.html) ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-legislature-prohibiting-all-forms-of-adult-anything/303906/20 "2005-05-15T17:01:04Z")
> [@Squink](#): > > Unexpected consequences cropped up in Ohio’s “defense of marriage” amendment, also championed by Phil Burress. It seems it now may be legal to beat up on your boyfriend/girlfriend/SO, as long as you’re [not married to them](http://www.ohio.com/mld/beaconjournal/news/state/10809508.htm). > [Judge cites Ohio anti-marriage amendment in throwing out domestic violence charge](http://www.queerday.com/2005/mar/24/judge_cites_ohio_antimarriage_amendment_in_throwing_out_domestic_violence_charge.html) It is still illegal, just a different crime. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ohio-legislature-prohibiting-all-forms-of-adult-anything/303906.md?page=2)