# Oi! Get your finger outta me bum! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 20, 2015, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-get-your-finger-outta-me-bum/715519 "2015-03-20T18:28:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2015, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-get-your-finger-outta-me-bum/715519/41 "2015-03-21T16:22:59Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > Interesting. I’m a 44 year old woman and haven’t had a doctor put a finger up my bum. I’ve only got a Masters but if you’re looking for volunteers ---------------- 😉 ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2015, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-get-your-finger-outta-me-bum/715519/42 "2015-03-21T16:36:48Z")
I know it’s a bummer, but you just gotta suck it up, they’re doing you a favor. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2015, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-get-your-finger-outta-me-bum/715519/43 "2015-03-21T18:08:04Z")
> [@outlierrn](#): > > I know it’s a bummer, but you just gotta suck it up, they’re doing you a favor. Since this is not GQ or even GD, this reminds me of a story (true, I swear!). The first Alesis 16-bit Drum Machine, the M1, had a message that popped up when the internal RAM was full. The display said, “Bummer, Dude – Out of Memory!” Alesis was based in Los Angeles at the time, so can be excused for surfer-style messages, no? But when they shipped to England, some bloke took offense at the message and wrote a nasty letter telling Alesis they shouldn’t put such foul and obscene language in their product. He didn’t like being accused of being a homosexual. I don’t think it was a Poe – that term hadn’t been invented yet. ---
**Author:** ![Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ac8455/32.png) [@Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Your_Great_Darsh_Face)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2015, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-get-your-finger-outta-me-bum/715519/44 "2015-03-21T19:28:44Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > This. I don’t know why a prostate exam is such a traumatic event for most guys. It’s a fuckin’ FINGER, for god’s sake. Most things going through that orifice, on a daily basis, are considerably thicker. And don’t tell me that ingoing is different from outgoing, or that it wasn’t “designed” for something going in. Wah wah wah, indeed. Why should someone not tell you that ingoing is different from outgoing, or that it wasn’t “designed” for something going in? Both of these seem self-evident facts to me, and your attempt to handwave them away rather intellectually lazy. Disclaimer: Though thoroughly heterosexual myself, I voiced no objections the last time my male doctor asked permission to conduct a rectal exam. I do accept that others might see matters differently, though. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2015, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-get-your-finger-outta-me-bum/715519/45 "2015-03-22T01:20:16Z")
> [@](#): > > “Mommy, did you have to stick your finger up anyone’s butt today?” _"Have_ to? You mean _get_ to!" ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2015, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-get-your-finger-outta-me-bum/715519/46 "2015-03-22T01:25:26Z")
> [@Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](#): > > Why should someone not tell you that ingoing is different from outgoing, or that it wasn’t “designed” for something going in? Both of these seem self-evident facts to me, and your attempt to handwave them away rather intellectually lazy. > > Disclaimer: Though thoroughly heterosexual myself, I voiced no objections the last time my male doctor asked permission to conduct a rectal exam. I do accept that others might see matters differently, though. Well, there’s a delicate corneal inversion procedure… a multioptipupiloptomy. But, in order to keep from damaging the eye sockets, they’ve got to go in through the rectum. Ain’t no man going to take that route with me! ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2015, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-get-your-finger-outta-me-bum/715519/47 "2015-03-22T14:12:22Z")
I’ve had the classic prostate exam. It was the second most uncomfortable thing that the urologist did to me. The fact that there was something worse doesn’t mean that I want to have it done any more often than necessary, or that I shouldn’t comment on it not being fun. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2015, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-get-your-finger-outta-me-bum/715519/48 "2015-03-22T15:48:14Z")
OK, maybe I’m really the odd man out but I’ve had a lot of medical tests/procedures I dread having again more. Chemical stress test, nuclear stress test, catheter, and bunches more. But those are more specific to me and people who have like conditions. Prostate is one we all (men) share in common. And while it isn’t as bad (IMHO in discomfort or dignity) as some people make out, being a Kermit the Frog puppet on the end of someones finger isn’t among my most favorite things. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2015, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-get-your-finger-outta-me-bum/715519/49 "2015-03-22T15:58:15Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > OK, maybe I’m really the odd man out but I’ve had a lot of medical tests/procedures I being a Kermit the Frog puppet on the end of someones finger isn’t among my most favorite things. Muppeteers do _not_ use a finger. They use the whole hand, sometimes up to the elbow. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2015, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-get-your-finger-outta-me-bum/715519/50 "2015-03-22T16:56:16Z")
Doctor: Now don’t worry - it’s perfectly normal to have an erection during a prostate exam. :eek: Patient: I haven’t got an erection. 😕 Doctor: I wasn’t referring to you… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2015, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-get-your-finger-outta-me-bum/715519/51 "2015-03-22T21:49:40Z")
> [@Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](#): > > Disclaimer: Though thoroughly heterosexual myself, I voiced no objections the last time my male doctor asked permission to conduct a rectal exam. I do accept that others might see matters differently, though. Any doctor should ask first. It’s not surprised you want to be surprised by, and trust me, doctors don’t get any kind of jollies out of examining any part of the human body. The ones who do generally lose their licenses pretty quickly, and often end up in prison too. I’m very aware that some people have medical fetishes. That’s not the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2015, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-get-your-finger-outta-me-bum/715519/52 "2015-03-22T22:27:16Z")
Is a prostate exam a worse experience than it Is for a woman to have a rectal exam? In other words, is the discomfort about the prostate per se, or about a finger in the bum? ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2015, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-get-your-finger-outta-me-bum/715519/53 "2015-03-22T22:48:32Z")
> [@susan](#): > > Is a prostate exam a worse experience than it Is for a woman to have a rectal exam? In other words, is the discomfort about the prostate per se, or about a finger in the bum? Not sure how you would quantify that, but mines healthy and I didn’t notice anything after the sphincter. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-get-your-finger-outta-me-bum/715519/54 "2015-03-23T00:34:28Z")
> [@susan](#): > > Is a prostate exam a worse experience than it Is for a woman to have a rectal exam? I would say six of one/half dozen of the other. They do do a certain amount moire of “fingering” for the prostate than they do for women looking for the other various diseases up (down?) there. But I’m betting its a close draw. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-get-your-finger-outta-me-bum/715519/55 "2015-03-23T13:27:47Z")
> [@glee](#): > > Doctor: Now don’t worry - it’s perfectly normal to have an erection during a prostate exam. :eek: > > Patient: I haven’t got an erection. 😕 > > Doctor: I wasn’t referring to you… 😉 Bwhaaaa. I had two previously and both times broke out in a cold sweat and felt a little weak and queasy for a few seconds after. It wasn’t painful _per se_ but definately puts _some_ of us on the uncomfortable side. Then there’s that goo they use… makes your butt feel like a grease zerk. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-get-your-finger-outta-me-bum/715519/56 "2015-03-23T15:59:26Z")
I had prostatitus several years ago, now I have to have the exam every year. I figure it’s uncomfortable for everyone involved. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-get-your-finger-outta-me-bum/715519/57 "2015-03-23T18:18:12Z")
While I have never had a prostate exam - so far - I’ve, er, done some independent research in that area, and don’t really anticipate it being a problem. As far as embarrassment at medical procedures, having a flamboyantly gay male nurse pull a catheter out of my penis when I was 16 pretty much burned out my medical modesty gland. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-get-your-finger-outta-me-bum/715519/58 "2015-03-23T22:09:24Z")
> [@Elemenopy](#): > > Yeah, I’m 37 and have never had that either…and have had lots of attention down there due to babies and cystic ovaries and such. > > Should I feel neglected? I always got the two-fingered bowling ball style exam, but I was led to believe it had to do with the particular slant of my internal lady parts and wasn’t required for everyone. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-get-your-finger-outta-me-bum/715519/59 "2015-03-23T23:38:01Z")
> [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > While I have never had a prostate exam - so far - I’ve, er, done some independent research in that area, and don’t really anticipate it being a problem. As far as embarrassment at medical procedures, having a flamboyantly gay male nurse pull a catheter out of my penis when I was 16 pretty much burned out my medical modesty gland. I’ve never had a prostate exam, and I don’t imagine that I ever will. I don’t see why death from prostate cancer is any worse than death from embarrassment. If I absolutely had to have one done, though, to save my family from being tortured or something, I would certainly want the most flamboyantly gay doctor you could find to perform it. That way, I would at least be able to flatter my ego and imagine that one us of might be able to get some pleasure out of it. Really, I think that’s about the only way you could talk me into one. Does that make me homophobic, or the opposite? I’m really not sure. (Doctors doing things to my penis has never been a problem for me, oddly enough. I have zero penis-related modesty, and will slap my junk down on the table for anyone who is interested. Doctors, friends, strangers… whatever. But stay away from my butt. In fact, I mostly even refuse to admit that I have a butt.) ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2015, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-get-your-finger-outta-me-bum/715519/60 "2015-03-24T00:43:32Z")
I’m gay and my doctor has small hands, and I find the procedure neither titillating nor particularly embarrassing. I find it uncomfortable, probably because this doctor tends to dig around as though looking for a lost item. Like **Slow Moving Vehicle** , my modesty glands are pretty much shot thanks to a round of mystery infections (and resulting surgery) that resulted in multiple rounds of catheterization. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-get-your-finger-outta-me-bum/715519.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-get-your-finger-outta-me-bum/715519.md?page=4)