# Oi, Hollywood! Americans did NOT win the Battle of Britain **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 1, 2006, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111 "2006-09-01T19:35:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2006, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/21 "2006-09-01T21:02:25Z")
Well, we definitely know that Tom Cruise helped the Shogun defeat the Emperor … or something. I can’t wait to see a movie in which it is shown how a previously unknown Chagatai mercenary and military genius (and a teen-aged girl!), who just happened to be travelling through the United states in 1865, was really responsible for Lee’s surrender at Appomattox. Actually, I forgot the part in which she ran into Abraham Lincoln a couple of times, giving him cruicial advice on the Gettysburg Address and the Emancipation Proclamation. And the only reason that the war lasted so long in the first place was because of the key strategic advice given to Robert E. Lee by a pygmy warrior, who one day was chasing his pet dog and ended up in Richmond, Va. This is fun! ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2006, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/22 "2006-09-01T21:07:35Z")
[QUOTE=Jackmannii] If it’s any consolation, Hollywood doesn’t set out to pick on the British. We’ve got tons of inaccuracies and exaggerations about our _own_ history to contend with (hint: Oliver Stone). [/QUOTE] Cite for Oliver Stone having any particularly egregious tendency to distort or exaggerate history? Aside from **JFK** , I mean. I don’t really get where this meme comes from that Oliver Stone’s career is all about conspiracy theories, etc. He’s made exactly one (1) film in his career that propagted a conspiracy theory and it happens to be about the one event in US history where a belief in a conspiracy (right or wrong) is fairly mainstream. Other than **JFK** , Stone’s movies have been pretty reasonable in their presentations of history ( **Platoon** ] (which was widely lauded as one of the most accurate movies ever made about Vietnam), **Nixon** , **The Doors** , **Born On the Fourth of July** and even **World Trade Center** have all been straightforward depictions (at least by Hollywood standards) of historical people and events. He’s also made a lot of movies which are straight entertainments with no real historical or political pretensions at all ( **Wall Street** , **Talk Radio** , **Natural Born Killers** , **Any Given Sunday**. The guy made one conspiracy-oriented film. It is not an accurate representation of his entire filmmaking career. Sorry for the rant, but this is a minor pet peeve of mine. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2006, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/23 "2006-09-01T21:16:14Z")
[QUOTE=Waverly] You really aren’t going to like my new screenplay, in which John Travolta, playing Batman, leads the Americans to victory at Hastings in 1066. [/QUOTE] It’s called _Battlefield England_, isn’t it? Out of curiosity, who are the heroic Scientologists, the Normans or the Britons? ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2006, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/24 "2006-09-01T21:17:32Z")
[QUOTE=Waverly] You really aren’t going to like my new screenplay, in which John Travolta, playing Batman, leads the Americans to victory at Hastings in 1066. [/QUOTE] I think I’ve heard of htis – _Battlefield England Begins_, right? ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2006, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/25 "2006-09-01T21:31:00Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] Cite for Oliver Stone having any particularly egregious tendency to distort or exaggerate history? Aside from **JFK** , I mean. [/quote] That’s the movie I had in mind. It’s pretty egregious all by itself. > [@](#): > > I don’t really get where this meme comes from that Oliver Stone’s career is all about conspiracy theories, etc. He’s made exactly one (1) film in his career that propagted a conspiracy theory and it happens to be about the one event in US history where a belief in a conspiracy (right or wrong) is fairly mainstream. I will resist the temptation to comment further on JFK assassination conspiracy buffs and their foibles. Stone’s movie grates in part because of the hero-role assigned to Jim Garrison, whom history more accurately depicts as an egotist and grandstander who presided over one of the worst injustices in the history of American jurisprudence (the Clay Shaw prosecution). Good reading on the subject: James Kirkwood’s _American Grotesque_. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2006, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/26 "2006-09-01T21:37:08Z")
Y’all know the article is over two years old, right? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2006, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/27 "2006-09-01T21:37:38Z")
I wasn’t defending JFK theories, just objecting to the popular characterization of Oliver stone as a director who specializes in conspiracy-themed films. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2006, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/28 "2006-09-01T22:02:48Z")
[QUOTE=Lord Ashtar] Y’all know the article is over two years old, right? [/QUOTE] Oh… Well then… FUCK YOU, MAN. AND YOUR FUCKING DOG, TOO, YOU UNREASONABLLY TWEE PERSON YOU! ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2006, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/29 "2006-09-01T22:11:19Z")
If it’s any consolation, **Diogenes** , Oliver Stone is far from the only director whose body of work has been stained by a wildly inaccurate portrayal of history. A worse example is D.W. Griffiths’ _Birth Of A Nation_, whose racism and glorification of the K.K.K. overshadows his other accomplishments. For me, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![gazpacho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6f9a4e/32.png) [@gazpacho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gazpacho)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2006, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/30 "2006-09-01T22:26:58Z")
[QUOTE=Lord Ashtar] Y’all know the article is over two years old, right? [/QUOTE] I don’t have much knoweldge of the movie biz. But does that mean the project won’t make it to the big screen? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2006, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/31 "2006-09-01T22:34:49Z")
[QUOTE=FinnAgain] Yeah right. I bet that next you’re going to try to tell us that Jesus wasn’t born here either. Why do you hate America? [/QUOTE] I don’t hate America. I just want all its institutions destroyed and its people enslaved (cept **Anaamika** and **gigi** under my heel, and servicing my every whim. Do I need to tattoo "Evil Overlord Aspirant on my forehead or something? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2006, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/32 "2006-09-01T22:59:53Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] I wasn’t defending JFK theories, just objecting to the popular characterization of Oliver stone as a director who specializes in conspiracy-themed films. [/QUOTE] Point taken, but I wouldn’t be holding up **The Doors** as any example of historical accuracy, either. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2006, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/33 "2006-09-01T23:42:14Z")
[QUOTE=Lord Ashtar] Y’all know the article is over two years old, right? [/QUOTE] Yes; so? ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/34 "2006-09-02T00:00:33Z")
[QUOTE=Lord Ashtar] Y’all know the article is over two years old, right? [/QUOTE] It also names Michael Mann as the director of _Top Gun._ Age aside, the accuracy of its reporting is therefore questionable. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/35 "2006-09-02T00:48:31Z")
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer] Do I need to tattoo "Evil Overlord Aspirant on my forehead or something? [/QUOTE] [Obligatory Pit Thread Bush Snark Mode ON] Sorry, that job is already filled! [/Obligatory Pit Thread Bush Snark Mode OFF] 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/36 "2006-09-02T01:22:57Z")
[QUOTE=Zebra] To be fair the Luftwaffe wouldn’t stand a chance against his F-14. [/QUOTE] Wouldn’t it be awesome if they really did give him an F-14? But don’t make it part of the plot, or anything. Nobody in the film even mentions it. It’s just there, blowing up German planes left and right. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/37 "2006-09-02T01:24:07Z")
Give Tom an iPod, too. But make every single other detail of the movie as historically accurate as possible. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/38 "2006-09-02T01:36:07Z")
[QUOTE=Cervaise] It also names Michael Mann as the director of _Top Gun._ Age aside, the accuracy of its reporting is therefore questionable. [/QUOTE] That was the first thing I noticed. So far as I am aware, Mann not only did not direct Top Gun, he had absolutely no connection to that film at all. If the writer of the article can’t even find [www.imdb.com](http://www.imdb.com), why trust his inside information about this movie? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/39 "2006-09-02T03:26:54Z")
[QUOTE=Polycarp] [Obligatory Pit Thread Bush Snark Mode ON] Sorry, that job is already filled! [/Obligatory Pit Thread Bush Snark Mode OFF] 😃 [/QUOTE] “Evil Overlord Aspirant” is not a job position; it’s a philosophy requiring, among other things, poisoning any current Evil Overlord. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/40 "2006-09-02T03:28:54Z")
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer] “Evil Overlord Aspirant” is not a job position; it’s a philosophy requiring, among other things, poisoning any current Evil Overlord. [/QUOTE] Ack! I didn’t read **Polycarp** ’s post closely enough; I stay away from Bush snarks. He’s not an evil overlord; he’s just misguidedly following the advice of the Neocons. I now exit the thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111.md?page=3)