# Oi, Hollywood! Americans did NOT win the Battle of Britain **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 1, 2006, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111 "2006-09-01T19:35:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/41 "2006-09-02T05:10:41Z")
Obviously, Tom Cruise did not single handedly win the Battle of Britian. He had Goose helping him. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/42 "2006-09-02T05:24:54Z")
Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/43 "2006-09-02T08:28:53Z")
[QUOTE=gazpacho] I don’t have much knoweldge of the movie biz. But does that mean the project won’t make it to the big screen? [/QUOTE] Probably not. Especially considering that Paramount fired Cruise and his agent’s talking about barring _any_ of his clients (namely some of the biggest names in Follywood) from working for Paramount. So not only is the Couch Jumper currently “unemployed,” but he’s also managed to piss in the Wheaties of some of the major names in Follywood. He keeps this up, and he’s liable to be beaten like a baby harp seal by every star in Follywood. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/44 "2006-09-02T12:02:04Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] So not only is the Couch Jumper currently “unemployed”… [/QUOTE] He’s not, though. He now works for [Dan Snyder](http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/08/28/AR2006082801179.html). ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/45 "2006-09-02T14:10:44Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] The guy made one conspiracy-oriented film. It is not an accurate representation of his entire filmmaking career. Sorry for the rant, but this is a minor pet peeve of mine. [/QUOTE] That’s all it takes. He has now joined the MacTavish clan. MacTavish gets drunk in the bar and starts bemoaning his life. “I built this bar and do they call me MacTavish the Housebuilder? Nay. I built the bridge over the stream outside and do they call me MacTavish the Bridgebuilder? Och, no, but fuck one wee sheep…” ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/46 "2006-09-02T15:41:21Z")
[QUOTE=Lord Ashtar] He’s not, though. He now works for [Dan Snyder](http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/08/28/AR2006082801179.html). [/QUOTE] I doubt that’s really going to mean much at all, since according to the article, Dan’s only going to be shelling out a couple million a year at most. Note that TC demands $20 million a picture, and your average low-budget **music video** costs around a couple mil these days. ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/47 "2006-09-02T15:45:23Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] …and your average low-budget music video costs around a couple mil these days. [/QUOTE] Anyone else seeing a new direction for his career? Tom Cruise and the Thetans! ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/48 "2006-09-02T15:52:35Z")
[QUOTE=Revenant Threshold] Anyone else seeing a new direction for his career? Tom Cruise and the Thetans! [/QUOTE] For some reason, I’m now picturing Cruise dressed as the Fat Elvis[sup]TM[/sup], dancing and singing about how much he loves L. Ron. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/49 "2006-09-02T15:59:52Z")
I was looking forward to the climatic final battle where Tom wins the Battle of Britan by sinking the Bismark. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/50 "2006-09-02T16:08:19Z")
Hawker Hurricanes with lasers and Sidewinder missiles with biological warheads vs Nazi tripods from Mars! Can’t wait. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/51 "2006-09-02T16:37:49Z")
VTOL P51 Mustangs landing outside Hitlers bunker, swarms of US Marines dashing inside blasting all before them before kicking Adolfs ass and giving Eva a savage rogering. Meanwhile Tom Hanks is strolling along the Unter den Linden pontificating and Barry Pepper is idly taking potshots at SS troopers. FUBAR? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/52 "2006-09-02T17:21:31Z")
[QUOTE=Squink] Tom Cruise? He’s too young to have won the battle of britain. I’m sure it was Steve McQueen. He pulled some clever trick with CO[sub]2[/sub] cylinders, and the Nazis all ran away. [/QUOTE] Nope, that was McGuyver. Tom Cruise saved England, Tom Hanks freed France, after saving Africa and Sicily. I don’t know why the history books waste so much paper trying to complicate things. And let’s not forget that [Warren Beatty](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082979/) made Russia into a true Workers’ Paradise. And [Richaes Gere](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119994/) , albeit with the help of a beautiful Chinese lawyer, straightned out the Chinese justice system. In fact, we’ll never understand how we saved Iraq, until Hollywood figures it out and tells us. I thought [George Clooneu](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120188/), but [Jake Gyllenhaal](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0418763/) lost again by his unmanly crying. Eh, they’ll let me know some day, ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/53 "2006-09-02T17:35:11Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] Nope, that was McGuyver. Tom Cruise saved England, Tom Hanks freed France, after saving Africa and Sicily. I don’t know why the history books waste so much paper trying to complicate things. And let’s not forget that [Warren Beatty](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082979/) made Russia into a true Workers’ Paradise. And [Richaes Gere](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119994/) , albeit with the help of a beautiful Chinese lawyer, straightned out the Chinese justice system. [/QUOTE] You forgot to mention John Wayne defeating the Japaneses, invading France and protecting South Vietnam. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/54 "2006-09-02T18:22:42Z")
[QUOTE=detop] You forgot to mention John Wayne defeating the Japaneses, invading France and protecting South Vietnam. [/QUOTE] With Robert Mitchum tagging along in a jeep ignoring his busted leg.. “Run me up the hill son” fishes cigar out lights up and chews on it ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/55 "2006-09-02T20:55:53Z")
Exactly ! It is always nice to encounter somebody else who knows history 😃 ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/56 "2006-09-02T22:17:30Z")
[QUOTE=Ravenman] I think you Brits are all mixed up in your heads. If a country has too much history, its people tend to get things all mixed up. Fortunately, we Americans don’t remember anything before the last election. It keeps our mind free of distractions and confusing facts. [/QUOTE] Exactly. All anyone needs to know is we have always been at war with Eastasia. But I’m a little concerned about this “memory” you have of an “election” :dubious: . ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/57 "2006-09-02T23:22:24Z")
[QUOTE=chowder] With Robert Mitchum tagging along in a jeep ignoring his busted leg.. “Run me up the hill son” fishes cigar out lights up and chews on it [/QUOTE] Bosh! That’s ancient myth now/ The most recent Hollywood Scholarship has France being saved by [Tom Hanks and Tom Sizemore.](http://imdb.com/title/tt0120815/). Besides, the Duke was too busy in the Pacific, [training construction teams to kill,](http://imdb.com/title/tt0036824/) and Mithum spent most of the war stuck [on an island protecting a nun,](http://imdb.com/title/tt0050490/) before settling down to a distinguished career as a men’s deodorant. ---
**Author:** ![cerberus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cerberus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cerberus)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2006, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/58 "2006-09-03T00:26:09Z")
Well, it’s good to see that the Tom Cruise projects are maintaining the same “high” “quality” of historical accuracy. :rolleyes: Most of us on this side of the pond who actually know a bit of history know the idiocy of the film in question. In my view, one of the better telepics on the subject was a short series by the BBC: _Piece of Cake_, which dealt subtly with the role played by the non-UK pilots serving in the RAF, including the random, occasional US citizen. Rest assured, the distortions involve more a need to hopelessly aggrandise the Cruise character, and by extension, the Biggest Littlest $cientolgist Ever. He and his minions do this in pretty much every movie that he’s in. It’s not so much a US act of false aggrandisement, but rather the usual Cruise Protocol. And given the additional involvement of the guy who helmed _Top Gun_, we are assured of atrocious levels of historical, technical and tactical accuracy. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2006, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/59 "2006-09-03T01:05:26Z")
[QUOTE=chowder] With Robert Mitchum tagging along in a jeep ignoring his busted leg.. “Run me up the hill son” fishes cigar out lights up and chews on it [/QUOTE] :rolleyes: There is nothing worse than someone that doesn’t know their history. John Wayne had the busted leg. Robert Mitchum chewed on the cigar on the beach and said > [@](#): > > I don’t have to tell you the story. You all know it. Only two kinds of people are gonna stay on this beach: those that are already dead and those that are gonna die. Now get off your butts. You guys are the Fighting 29th. Jeez get it straight will you? ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2006, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111/60 "2006-09-03T01:14:34Z")
[QUOTE=Rick] Jeez get it straight will you? [/QUOTE] Oh, cut 'em some slack. Wayne was in Europe so rarely that it is not hard to confuse his various roles. Heck, one time he was actually commanding a German ship (although he was carefully never faithful to Hitler before we sank him). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oi-hollywood-americans-did-not-win-the-battle-of-britain/371111.md?page=4)