# Oily naked lady - what gives? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 15, 2004, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-naked-lady-what-gives/245322 "2004-05-15T21:26:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Abbie\_Carmichael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/49beb7/32.png) [@Abbie\_Carmichael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abbie_Carmichael)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-naked-lady-what-gives/245322/21 "2004-05-17T11:58:20Z")
> [@Eutychus](#): > > I know I always oil up before itemizing deductions. Ow, ow, water in nose … ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-naked-lady-what-gives/245322/22 "2004-05-17T14:06:19Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > No, if I’m on _my_ property, inside _my_ house, I’m within my rights to strip buck naked and press my pasty, dimpled ass against the window while attempting to fart “The Stars and Stripes Forever”. (I wouldn’t do that, of course, because I’m the one who has to clean the windows, and besides, that would be crass.) After all, I’m in my home, and nobody else has any reason or right to be looking in my windows. While it obviously varies from one place to another, in many it’s illegal to be nude if you’re exposing yourself to public view, regardless of where you are. There was a high profile case in Florida where a couple had sex in their bedroom window without drawing the blinds, and were arrested for it, not to mention the many incidents of men standing in their front doorways completely nude, exposing themselves to passerby. I’d look for a cite but the work filters are flipping out over the word nudity, as is understandable. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ee59a6/32.png) [@CrazyMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyMonkey)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-naked-lady-what-gives/245322/23 "2004-05-17T15:20:19Z")
I think you should leave a gift basket of fragrent body oils on her front step, with a secret admirer type thank you note (written as non-creepily as possible). If the display was unintentional it will serve as a hint that she might want to take more care in the future, and if the display was intentional, it the gift will serve as friendly flirtation. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-naked-lady-what-gives/245322/24 "2004-05-17T17:07:12Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > After all, I’m in my home, and nobody else has any reason or right to be looking in my windows. > > Decorum’s a two-way street, and looking into someone’s windows is every bit as indecorus as staring when someone loses their bathing suit at the beach or pawing through someone’s purse that happens to be lying open. I’m just sayin’. > > And yes, I’ve got blinds, but I never draw them unless I’m trying to sleep in the living room. I like sunlight and being able to look out on the street, so the blinds stay open. Besides, like I said, anybody violating the boundaries of my home by looking into my windows and seeing me naked will be immediately and deservedly stricken blind. **CCL** , I _do_ hope you’re being facetious here. Reason to look in your windows? Damned if I know. Right? I’ve got a right to view the reflected light that finds its way to my eyes, as long as I’m somewhere I’m legally entitled to being. Now, it’s not just undecorous, but downright creepy, if someone goes to unusual lengths (e.g. looking at someone’s windows long and often, employing telescope/binox/etc.) to see through someone else’s window. But as you’ve mentioned, decorum _is_ a two-way street, and part of decorum is at least being minimally aware of when you might expect to be on public display, and comporting yourself accordingly. Among other things, this means being aware that it’s easier to see from dark to light than vice versa. Which means you’re probably OK during the day, if you don’t get too close to the windows when you’re wandering your rooms in the altogether. OTOH, the woman described in the OP was visible from across the street at 10:30 at night. If she had the windows open and the lights on (the implication of the OP), she should _expect_ to be completely visible to all passersby, and especially to the occupant of the house across the street. So the OP’s thought that she might be putting on a show for him is hardly unreasonable. I kinda like **CrazyMonkey** ’s recommendation, myself. ---
**Author:** ![Scarf-Ace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Scarf-Ace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarf-Ace)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-naked-lady-what-gives/245322/25 "2004-05-17T19:12:32Z")
> [@](#): > > ``` > I think you should leave a gift basket of fragrent body oils on her front step, with a secret admirer type thank you note (written as non-creepily as possible). If the display was unintentional it will serve as a hint that she might want to take more care in the future, and if the display was intentional, it the gift will serve as friendly flirtation. > > ``` Sounds like a good idea, CrazyMonkey i’ll give it some attention. The funny thing is she can see the back of my head as i’m sat at the PC just now… Kind of makes for a tense situation, don’t you think? ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-naked-lady-what-gives/245322/26 "2004-05-17T20:08:45Z")
> [@CrazyMonkey](#): > > I think you should leave a gift basket of fragrent body oils on her front step, with a secret admirer type thank you note (written as non-creepily as possible). If the display was unintentional it will serve as a hint that she might want to take more care in the future, and if the display was intentional, it the gift will serve as friendly flirtation. So, what _is_ the non-creepy way to tell someone you were a)watching their house late at night, b) watching them to see what they were doing, c) continued watching after you realized they were undressed, d) assumed they were trying to be sexy, and e) would like to see more? I can’t for the life of me figure out how that’s not going to come off as creepy and stalkerish. If I got an anonymous note like that when I was living alone, it would scare the ever-loving _fuck_ out of me. Personally, I can think of several more plausible explanations for the situation than her deliberately putting on a show for someone she doesn’t even know and who’s existance she’s apparently never acknowledged before. She might have not been thinking about the blinds. She might not give a tin shit whether people see her or not. She might assume that her neighbors have better things to do on a Friday night than to watch her windows. (She certainly appears to have better things to do than to watch _their_.) ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-naked-lady-what-gives/245322/27 "2004-05-17T21:31:27Z")
I’m jealous. I have a neighbor who’s pert near ninety, that strips down to his skivvies with no shades drawn and each and every 100 watt bulb in his hous alit. His tighty whities were tight and white in 1972. Not so much now. On the plus side, he’s got a huge clock on the wall, so if I’m outside at night, I can always check the time. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-naked-lady-what-gives/245322/28 "2004-05-17T22:13:31Z")
> [@Bumbazine](#): > > What kind of oil? If she’s an A-cup, then Olive, obviously. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ee59a6/32.png) [@CrazyMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyMonkey)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-naked-lady-what-gives/245322/29 "2004-05-18T00:36:21Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > So, what _is_ the non-creepy way to tell someone you were a)watching their house late at night, b) watching them to see what they were doing, c) continued watching after you realized they were undressed, d) assumed they were trying to be sexy, and e) would like to see more? I can’t for the life of me figure out how that’s not going to come off as creepy and stalkerish. If I got an anonymous note like that when I was living alone, it would scare the ever-loving _fuck_ out of me. This where you take advantage of the fact that people will read their own bias into an ambiguous note. You leave a note with the small bottle of lotion that says “Just in case you were planning another show like you put on last Friday. :)” If the show was intentional, she’ll take it as flirtation. If the show was accidental, it comes off as a friendly, somewhat joking way of saying “close your curtains!” and she’ll likely be embarassed but assume the note was your way of avoiding embarassing her further with a face-to-face conversation. ---
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-naked-lady-what-gives/245322/30 "2004-05-18T00:44:16Z")
> [@NurseCarmen](#): > > On the plus side, he’s got a huge clock Did anyone else accidentally read this the wrong way the first time? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-naked-lady-what-gives/245322/31 "2004-05-18T00:52:51Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > If I got an anonymous note like that when I was living alone, it would scare the ever-loving _fuck_ out of me. I suppose that’s why life isn’t a Penthouse letter, and most women living alone don’t undress where they can be seen by the neighborhood. ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-naked-lady-what-gives/245322/32 "2004-05-18T01:12:32Z")
> [@Already in Use](#): > > Did anyone else accidentally read this the wrong way the first time? Yes, on the double-take scale of 1 to 10, that was a 50. ---
**Author:** ![Sinshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Sinshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sinshine)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-naked-lady-what-gives/245322/33 "2004-05-18T06:29:18Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > No, if I’m on _my_ property, inside _my_ house, I’m within my rights to strip buck naked and press my pasty, dimpled ass against the window while attempting to fart “The Stars and Stripes Forever”. Milk sprayed on monitor in fit of laughter is just as hard to clean up after, I’m sure. Truth be told, people **do** look whether they ought or not, and people **are** entitled to behaved weirdly in the supposed privacy of their own homes. And I think it is kinder to point out where privacy fails than to preserve the peeping-tom ick factor. When I got a new roller blind in my bedroom window, the lady whose home backs onto mine dropped by to say hello, and to point out that there is a visible gap between the window frame and the blind. I thought about getting annoyed with her for poking her nose in, until she volunteered the information that her teenaged son had “discovered” the gap first. A little arched eyebrow, a little knowing look, and I went out and got something for the gap. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-naked-lady-what-gives/245322/34 "2004-05-18T10:51:15Z")
> [@Barrytown](#): > > I was _positive_ that this thread was going to be about the lamps mentioned in [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=254861) thread about bad interior design (see **voguevixen’s** post about them - post #4). You ain’t the only one! I didn’t even bother looking at this thread until today since I figured “why would I want to read about more ugly furniture?” ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-naked-lady-what-gives/245322/35 "2004-05-18T12:03:20Z")
CCL, there’s a difference between being a peeping tom and just looking at someone’s home. If I look **at** your home, and I should be allowed to do so without suspicion, since your home is presumably easily visible from the street, your unshaded windows will allow me to look **into** your home. You chose to have windows there and you chose to not draw the blinds, therefore, you chose to allow everyone passing by to look into your home. If I look out my window and see a buck nekked lady oiling herself up in the big picture window across the way, I’ll probably take a second look too. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-naked-lady-what-gives/245322/36 "2004-05-18T14:07:28Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > No, if I’m on _my_ property, inside _my_ house, I’m within my rights to strip buck naked and press my pasty, dimpled ass against the window while attempting to fart “The Stars and Stripes Forever”. :eek: That’s pretty ambitious. I recommend starting with something easier, like _Mary Had A Little Lamb_, and working your way up. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-naked-lady-what-gives/245322/37 "2004-05-18T14:44:21Z")
Send the Oily Naked Lady an invitation to the Vaseline Motel Room: > **[Boy do I feel sorry for this hotel cleaning crew](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=256804)** > > Man Arrested After Hotel Room Is Coated In Vaseline :eek: I wonder what inspired “Slick Roger” Chamberlain to do this… and I can only imagine how skeevy it must be to try to clean this up, especially given the “numerous pornographic magazines in... ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-naked-lady-what-gives/245322/38 "2004-05-18T15:09:27Z")
If it happens again, remove all doubt about whether it was “for your benefit” and put a bottle of wine with two glasses on your window sill. If this gets a reaction from her, then she’s trying to seduce you. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-naked-lady-what-gives/245322/39 "2004-05-18T16:12:08Z")
“Hi, I’m your neighbor from across the street. Could I borrow a cup of oil?” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Scarf-Ace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Scarf-Ace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarf-Ace)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-naked-lady-what-gives/245322/40 "2004-05-18T19:39:42Z")
> [@](#): > > ``` > "Hi, I'm your neighbor from across the street. Could I borrow a cup of oil?" > > ``` Lol! Only if you keep it away from that pasty, dimpled ass ;)! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-naked-lady-what-gives/245322.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-naked-lady-what-gives/245322.md?page=3)