# Oily Taint is funny as all heck-- and hopefully going to jail. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 5, 2009, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728 "2009-10-05T21:08:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2009, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/1 "2009-10-05T21:08:39Z")
Soviet expatriot, provisional lawyer and birther extrodinair Orly Taitz has answered Judge Land’s request for her to explain why he shouldn’t fine her $10,000 with [this motion of batshit crazy.](http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2009/10/birther_taitz_alleges_judge_met_with_eric_holder.php?ref=fpb) Some of her points as described by the TPM article: > [@](#): > > Takes umbrage at judge’s use of the term Birther to describe her, noting that it is often coupled with “even more colorful epithets such as ‘batshit crazy’” > > Says Land may be disqualified because he allegedly owns stock in Microsoft and Comcast which are “aligned both politically and economically with a key Defendant in this case” – “the de facto President of the United States, Barack Hussein Obama” (emphasis hers) > > Says Land cannot be an impartial adjudicator of whether she should be sanctioned by the court because he has “radically PREJUDGED” the facts of the Birthers’ case (caps hers) > > Accuses Land of issuing “blitzkrieg-like rulings” > > Compares Birther crusade to movement for desegregation, suggesting Land, whom she calls “this distinguished Southern Judge” would have been on the side of Jim Crow. I hope Land throws her in jail for contempt. He could do that, right? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2009, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/2 "2009-10-05T21:15:56Z")
Oh, yeah. He can have her locked up in a heart-beat. If it wouldn’t cause the nut-balls to go all frothy, he could start proceedings to have her expelled from the country. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2009, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/3 "2009-10-05T21:23:06Z")
Lawyers make the most fun crazy people. Taitz’s got a ways to go before she reaches Jack Thompson levels of lunacy, but she’s making a play for hitting the bar\* way earlier than he did. - No pun intended. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2009, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/4 "2009-10-05T21:31:01Z")
One of the funnier parts-- the deposition in which someone states they saw Lands lunching with Eric Holder. You know Eric-- olive-skinned, moustachioed, small in stature. . … ---
**Author:** ![leander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bcef8e/32.png) [@leander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leander)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2009, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/5 "2009-10-05T21:35:54Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > Soviet expatriot, provisional lawyer and birther extrodinair Orly Taitz… You forgot part-time [dentist](http://www.drtaitz.com/staff.htm)! Can you imagine: “See that crazy ass bitch on TV. She did my root canal!” ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2009, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/6 "2009-10-05T21:55:28Z")
They never make the reality shows I really want to see. That motion is so choice. Every word is a gem. A crazy, crazy little gem. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2009, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/7 "2009-10-05T22:07:20Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > They never make the reality shows I really want to see. That motion is so choice. Every word is a gem. A crazy, crazy little gem. Polished until it SHINES. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2009, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/8 "2009-10-05T22:12:28Z")
😕 How did this woman earn a J.D. even from a mail-order law school like [Taft](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taft_Law_School)?! ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2009, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/9 "2009-10-05T22:18:03Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > Lawyers make the most fun crazy people. > > Taitz’s got a ways to go before she reaches Jack Thompson levels of lunacy, but she’s making a play for hitting the bar\* way earlier than he did. > > - No pun intended. I dunno, I mean Jack Thompson had that whole blow up with the… colorful… stuff when he was being disbarred. On the other hand, dude defended Mass Effect from Fox’s “fact” factory. What would be the Birther equivilent of that? I think she’s pretty even so far. > [@leander](#): > > You forgot part-time [dentist](http://www.drtaitz.com/staff.htm)! > > Can you imagine: “See that crazy ass bitch on TV. She did my root canal!” And Real Estate agent! ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2009, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/10 "2009-10-05T22:28:31Z")
Goddamn I love this crazy bitch. Love love love her. ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2009, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/11 "2009-10-05T23:11:56Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Oh, yeah. He can have her locked up in a heart-beat. If it wouldn’t cause the nut-balls to go all frothy, he could start proceedings to have her expelled from the country. Wait, what? There’s a process to expel her from the country? She’s a citizen, right? There’s no way that I’m aware of to expel an American citizen from the country, except in extra-legal situations like Gitmo. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2009, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/12 "2009-10-05T23:23:06Z")
Is she a US citizen? I’ve always heard her described as a Russian expat, so I assumed she kept Russian citizenship. If she is a US citizen, then we will just have to settle for locking her up in the booby hatch for a few decades. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2009, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/13 "2009-10-05T23:28:45Z")
Wiki doesn’t say whether or not she’s a citizen. It does say that she has a second degree black belt in Taekwondo. She is a woman of many crazy talents. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2009, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/14 "2009-10-05T23:31:22Z")
Palin/Taitz 2012, for a more pure America. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2009, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/15 "2009-10-05T23:58:05Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Is she a US citizen? I’ve always heard her described as a Russian expat, so I assumed she kept Russian citizenship. If she is a US citizen, then we will just have to settle for locking her up in the booby hatch for a few decades. She’s also an Israeli citizen (sorry - we don’t intend to export our crap; it just works out that way). Can you hold triple citizenship? Incidentally, there’s no way she was born an “Orly”; It’s too much of a conventional Israeli name. Girl’s an Olga. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2009, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/16 "2009-10-06T00:06:02Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Incidentally, there’s no way she was born an “Orly”; It’s too much of a conventional Israeli name. O _rly_? I refuse to get tired of that. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2009, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/17 "2009-10-06T00:14:12Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Oh, yeah. He can have her locked up in a heart-beat. If it wouldn’t cause the nut-balls to go all frothy, he could start proceedings to have her expelled from the country. Just give a call to the Honduran army. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![joebuck20](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/74df32/32.png) [@joebuck20](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joebuck20)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2009, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/18 "2009-10-06T01:02:15Z")
I’m half-convinced that she’s an Andy Kaufman-type performance artist who is just getting a kick out of playing the far right for the fools that they are. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2009, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/19 "2009-10-06T01:18:56Z")
I vote for keeping her and revoking the motion for contempt and sanctions and giving her an award for entertainment value. She is the most entertaining lawyer I have ever heard of. Beats Jack Thompson by a country mile. Which country? You choose one of three. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2009, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/20 "2009-10-06T01:23:16Z")
> [@Knorf](#): > > Palin/Taitz 2012, for a more pure America. Pure **what,** we ain’t sayin’. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728.md?page=2)