# Oily Taint is funny as all heck-- and hopefully going to jail. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 5, 2009, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728 "2009-10-05T21:08:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/81 "2009-10-07T12:20:33Z")
> [@psychonaut](#): > > Well, she’s currently a resident of California, so I suppose that gives her the right to complain about the US government. But does it give her the right to file frivolous lawsuits and crazy-assed motions? The answer, in case you didn’t know, is yes. Unless the judge tells you to stop, then the answer is no. Contempt of court, here we come! ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/82 "2009-10-07T12:21:17Z")
> [@Onomatopoeia](#): > > Bachman/Palin Overdrive. What? You owe me another cup of coffee. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/83 "2009-10-07T13:08:03Z")
> [@cuauhtemoc](#): > > Sounds a lot like Orly Taitz was a Mail-Order Bride. If deporting is out, can’t we ship her back, postage due? > [@Gorsnak](#): > > Can the President pardon someone for a contempt of court penalty? Because I would be just positively tickled watching Orly squirm, having to either pay up, go to jail, or accept the pardon and thereby acknowledge that the President is actually the President. Oh, I can hear it now: “How dare you twy to bwibe me, you miscweant!” ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/84 "2009-10-07T13:36:31Z")
> [@Gorsnak](#): > > Can the President pardon someone for a contempt of court penalty? Because I would be just positively tickled watching Orly squirm, having to either pay up, go to jail, or accept the pardon and thereby acknowledge that the President is actually the President. I don’t think a contempt charge is technically a criminal charge, so no, but I could be wrong, and that would be awesome. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/85 "2009-10-07T13:54:54Z")
> [@Gorsnak](#): > > Can the President pardon someone for a contempt of court penalty? Because I would be just positively tickled watching Orly squirm, having to either pay up, go to jail, or accept the pardon and thereby acknowledge that the President is actually the President. She’d find a way to rationalize it. She’s so twisted you could use her mind for a corkscrew. OTOH, I’d pay money to read such a rationalization. About US$0.03. ---
**Author:** ![Caffeine.addict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@Caffeine.addict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caffeine.addict)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/86 "2009-10-07T14:16:16Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > But does it give her the right to file frivolous lawsuits and crazy-assed motions? The answer, in case you didn’t know, is yes. Unless the judge tells you to stop, then the answer is no. Contempt of court, here we come! Actually, as an attorney you don’t have the right to file frivolous lawsuits. When you sign a pleading you are certififying to the Court that [QUOTE=Rule 11] (1) it is not being presented for any improper purpose, such as to harass, cause unnecessary delay, or needlessly increase the cost of litigation; (2) the claims, defenses, and other legal contentions are warranted by existing law or by a nonfrivolous argument for extending, modifying, or reversing existing law or for establishing new law; (3) the factual contentions have evidentiary support or, if specifically so identified, will likely have evidentiary support after a reasonable opportunity for further investigation or discovery; and (4) the denials of factual contentions are warranted on the evidence or, if specifically so identified, are reasonably based on belief or a lack of information. Here is the full text of [Rule 11](http://www.law.cornell.edu/rules/frcp/Rule11.htm). [/QUOTE] That is why the judge is looking to impose sanctions on her. For what it’s worth, I skimmed her motion through last night, and I don’t think that this will help matter at all. Some judges are stricter on Rule 11 than others and either way, it takes a lot to get sanctions imposed. Most states have a similar rule in place. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/87 "2009-10-07T14:42:08Z")
> [@Caffeine.addict](#): > > Some judges are stricter on Rule 11 than others and either way, it takes a lot to get sanctions imposed. I daresay that this string of filings by Oily can only be a classic, textbook case of how to poison the well of judical forbearance. ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/88 "2009-10-07T17:39:01Z")
> [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](#): > > Well, Voltaire, I guess we can’t all trot out the pants-pissing metaphors. Cherish your gifts. what is your damage, KG? DJ stand you up for your playdate? next time you fancy an arbitrary shit, aim for your mouth. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/89 "2009-10-07T17:42:16Z")
> [@whole\_bean](#): > > what is your damage, KG? DJ stand you up for your playdate? next time you fancy an arbitrary shit, aim for your mouth. Well, this’ll ensure this thread doesn’t get moved to MPSIMS. ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/90 "2009-10-07T17:50:37Z")
too late to edit - KG, I apologize if I’ve overreacted. I normally enjoy your posts. Shit wherever you like. ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/91 "2009-10-07T17:51:59Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > Well, this’ll ensure this thread doesn’t get moved to MPSIMS. with all this talk of oily tits and taints, and you think this would be the straw? ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/92 "2009-10-07T17:53:31Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Heh! I always wondered what happened to “Bubba”. Thanks for the link- that was a good read! **John Carter of Mars** is still a regular poster- maybe he can update us. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/93 "2009-10-07T17:55:07Z")
> [@whole\_bean](#): > > with all this talk of oily tits and taints, and you think this would be the straw? Yes. Tits and taints get mentioned all the time over in MPSIMS. Dopers telling Dopers to shit in their own mouths, not so much. ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/94 "2009-10-07T18:00:16Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > Yes. Tits and taints get mentioned all the time over in MPSIMS. Dopers telling Dopers to shit in their own mouths, not so much. must be a thin line ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/95 "2009-10-07T18:00:58Z")
In fairness, she just told him to _aim_ for the mouth. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/96 "2009-10-07T18:36:35Z")
> [@whole\_bean](#): > > must be a thin line The Persuaders think so. [In case nobody knows what I’m talking about.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Persuaders_(band)) ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/97 "2009-10-07T19:16:27Z")
On the other hand, I’m thinking, “Is It Possible To Shit In Your Own Mouth” would be a fine addition to MPSIMS. ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/98 "2009-10-07T19:17:39Z")
> [@WotNot](#): > > Thanks for that link. I hadn’t previously heard of this – it seems there’s even more reality-defying fuckwittery about than I’d been aware. Wow, her reality-defying fuckwittery has been entertaining us for months. Better late than never yes? Though, as typical with Democrats, we can’t agree on what to call her consistently. I have nothing but respect and admiration for the OP, but I’m far too fond of “Oily Titz” to give it up. Everyone knows who everyone else means though, so it doesn’t matter. Welcome to the Oily Titz/Oily Taint fan club! (not to mention its offshoot, the Judge Clay Land fan club). Dentist/Sorta Lawyer/Real Estate Agent/Total Loonball/Mail-Order Bride (not established, but I like the notion)/Judge pisser-offer…she’s phenomenal! Man, I can’t wait to see the movie. Who’s going to play her? Angelina Jolie is a decent actress who’s good with accents, but doesn’t do blowzy blond very well. Meryl Streep could ace the accent, but she’s too old now (though Lola might help). Kate Winslet? She’s a great actress. She played a charismatic and persuasive murderer in Heavenly Creatures, but her character wasn’t totally batshit insane (which Titz is, of course). Too bad Abbie Cornish is too young. But wait, Abbie could play the young Titz. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/99 "2009-10-07T19:25:36Z")
> [@whole\_bean](#): > > too late to edit - KG, I apologize if I’ve overreacted. I normally enjoy your posts. Shit wherever you like. Pity. It was a nice retort. ---
**Author:** ![WotNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@WotNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WotNot)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728/100 "2009-10-07T22:34:29Z")
> [@Equipoise](#): > > Wow, her reality-defying fuckwittery has been entertaining us for months. Better late than never yes? I suppose… it’s just that, y’know, I’m watching _Stargate Universe_ and the new season of _House MD_ on UK TV within days of their US broadcast, and I didn’t even get a heads-up about this. And this is more entertaining, sadly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oily-taint-is-funny-as-all-heck-and-hopefully-going-to-jail/512728.md?page=6)