# OJ Simpson in Osbournes-esque Reality Show
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oj-simpson-in-osbournes-esque-reality-show/170573
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [April 23, 2003, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oj-simpson-in-osbournes-esque-reality-show/170573 "2003-04-23T13:09:42Z")
**Posts on this page:** 16
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)
#### Post date: [April 23, 2003, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oj-simpson-in-osbournes-esque-reality-show/170573/1 "2003-04-23T13:09:42Z")
[http://www.cnn.com/2003/SHOWBIZ/TV/04/23/television.simpson.reut/](http://www.cnn.com/2003/SHOWBIZ/TV/04/23/television.simpson.reut/)
> [@](#):
>
> The series will chronicle Simpson’s daily life in Miami using footage collected over several months of filming in 2001 and 2002.
I guess most of the show will be focused on watching him play golf and searching for the “real killers.”
:dubious:
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### Author:  [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)
#### Post date: [April 23, 2003, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oj-simpson-in-osbournes-esque-reality-show/170573/2 "2003-04-23T13:21:11Z")
Why do I think this will end up associated with the Dolcett Archives?
[sub]Yea, the killer is free and _I’m_ the sicko.[/sub]
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### Author:  [@dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorkusmalorkusmafia)
#### Post date: [April 23, 2003, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oj-simpson-in-osbournes-esque-reality-show/170573/3 "2003-04-23T14:29:07Z")
That’s just sick. The sickest part is that people will be watching this show in hopes to see that he slips and finally says that he found the real killer, in the mirror. People really need to stop watching the reality junk and finally get it off the air.
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### Author:  [@djf750](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djf750)
#### Post date: [April 23, 2003, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oj-simpson-in-osbournes-esque-reality-show/170573/4 "2003-04-23T21:24:35Z")
Damn, you beat me to it. I was going to put this in your Monica Lewinsky personality thread.
And Kato Kaelin is going to be on a new show about cramming and then having to answer questions about what you have “crammed”.
And I hear that if Scott Petersen is acquited he has already signed to host a nature show called “Fishin’ with Scotty”.
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### Author:  [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)
#### Post date: [April 23, 2003, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oj-simpson-in-osbournes-esque-reality-show/170573/5 "2003-04-23T22:12:22Z")
Repulsive! I take it every dime he makes from this thing will go directly to Fred Goldman and Nicole Brown’s estate. Feh!
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### Author:  [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)
#### Post date: [April 23, 2003, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oj-simpson-in-osbournes-esque-reality-show/170573/6 "2003-04-23T22:18:07Z")
I noticed that the cnn article pointed out he was acquitted of the murders, but neglected to mention he was then held responsible for them in civil court.
Sponsor boycotts, anyone? I’ll be paying attention to which companies try to cash in on this disgusting trash.
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### Author:  [@Kantalooppi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kantalooppi)
#### Post date: [April 23, 2003, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oj-simpson-in-osbournes-esque-reality-show/170573/7 "2003-04-23T22:28:17Z")
Ha ha ha! I’m refusing to believe it even while it’s there all being factual. Look at me, happily writing away while not letting a single affirmative thought concerning OJ reality show’s existence enter my head!
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### Author:  [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2003, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oj-simpson-in-osbournes-esque-reality-show/170573/8 "2003-04-24T00:58:19Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by djf750 \*
> **Damn, you beat me to it. I was going to put this in your Monica Lewinsky personality thread.**
They should’ve just included OJ in the masked men in Mr. Personality. I hear he’s a charmer.
Imagine if the chick ends up picking him, then they pull his mask off all Scooby-Doo-villain-like.
Now, _that’s_ some good tv watchin’.
heh heh heh
🆒
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### Author:  [@djf750](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djf750)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2003, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oj-simpson-in-osbournes-esque-reality-show/170573/9 "2003-04-24T02:02:45Z")
I can see it now.
“Juice” on the phone telling “Bobby” Blake and “Scotty” Peterson to hang in there, and to be sure to make eye contact with any female jury members. But don’t over do it because after all, “we loved our women, no matter what people want to believe.”
Al Cowlings picking up the kids in a brand new WHITE Bronco to drive them to school.
“Juice” kisses them goodbye and tells Cowlings “Now, don’t drive too fast” Everyone laughs, including the kids.
“Juice” telling the kids what a great mom they had and how some bad people came one night and almost cut her head off and left her body right where you kids could have found it.
“Daddy would never kill her and leave her body like that. Daddy would have done it away from the house. But daddy didn’t do it!”
“Juice” flying to meet with Dr. Jeffrey McDonald to lend him moral support.
“Maybe the same hippies who did your wife and kids were the real killers. Damn, they coulda got MY kids too, Dr. Jeff. Hang in there man”
The first show ends in a freeze frame of “Juice” and McDonald in a soul hug.
Slow fade out. Slow fade in to a picture of David Janssen with his birth and death date under his image.
Somebody stop me.
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### Author:  [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2003, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oj-simpson-in-osbournes-esque-reality-show/170573/10 "2003-04-24T02:09:47Z")
HA HA HA!!!
That was soooooo money, **djf750**!!! 😃
You forgot the part where “Juice” screams at the dog for shitting on the f\*ckin’ rug!
hee!
😛
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### Author:  [@djf750](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djf750)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2003, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oj-simpson-in-osbournes-esque-reality-show/170573/11 "2003-04-24T05:34:30Z")
> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by LolaCocaCola \*
> [B
> You forgot the part where “Juice” screams at the dog for shitting on the f_ckin’ rug!
>
> 😛 \*\*
So “Juice” , while wearing a ski cap and gloves, chases him around with a big knife while mugging for the camera.
Everyone laughs.
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### Author:  [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2003, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oj-simpson-in-osbournes-esque-reality-show/170573/12 "2003-04-24T10:41:46Z")
\<-------- also laughs!
That OJ’s a _stitch_.
_throws popcorn at tv screen_
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### Author:  [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)
#### Post date: [April 29, 2003, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oj-simpson-in-osbournes-esque-reality-show/170573/13 "2003-04-29T11:02:53Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by koeeoaddi \*
> \*\*Repulsive! I take it every dime he makes from this thing will go directly to Fred Goldman and Nicole Brown’s estate. Feh! \*\*
That’s exactly why it’s **[url=http://www.cnn.com/2003/SHOWBIZ/TV/04/24/simpson.realitytv.ap/index.htmlnot** going to happen.
> [@](#):
>
> Simpson, a football Hall of Famer, was tried and acquitted of murder after the 1994 slayings of ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ronald Goldman, but a civil jury later held him liable and ordered him to pay the victims’ survivors $33.5 million. He hasn’t worked since then because any money he makes could be seized to satisfy that judgment, which remains largely unpaid.
But **djf** is not far off the mark:
> [@](#):
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> [Simpson]might consider becoming a news commentator for actor Robert Blake’s murder trial.
>
> \
>
> “I’d love to do it,” he said. “I think I have a lot of insight. I don’t know if he’s guilty or not but I know there’s no such thing anymore as innocent until proven guilty.”
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### Author:  [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)
#### Post date: [April 29, 2003, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oj-simpson-in-osbournes-esque-reality-show/170573/14 "2003-04-29T12:18:29Z")
Remember the short-lived TV show on Fox called _Dragon_? There was a great scene where Dragon’s sitting there listening to someone pitch an actor to him, and the guy keeps saying, “He’s got the highest name recognition of any actor in Hollywood.” and things like that over and over. Dragon listens to him and finally says, “You’re pitching me OJ Simpson.” The implication being that even someone as sleezy as Dragon wouldn’t hire OJ. Fiction, you have met your match, truth is far, far, far stranger.
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### Author:  [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)
#### Post date: [April 29, 2003, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oj-simpson-in-osbournes-esque-reality-show/170573/15 "2003-04-29T12:21:17Z")
Don’t forget when “Juice” complains bitterly about how easy Phil Spector got off. “See what happens when white guys marry black girls. But the reverse…”
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### Author:  [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)
#### Post date: [April 29, 2003, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oj-simpson-in-osbournes-esque-reality-show/170573/16 "2003-04-29T13:11:48Z")
[Fixed link](http://www.cnn.com/2003/SHOWBIZ/TV/04/24/simpson.realitytv.ap/index.html). And it’s still **not** gonna happen.