# OK, Homosexuals--Recruit Me! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 8, 2000, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-homosexuals-recruit-me/21752 "2000-06-08T14:17:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2000, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-homosexuals-recruit-me/21752/21 "2000-06-08T20:08:31Z")
Uh, oh, Shayna . . . I’m afraid I will have to cancel our date tonight. I have some makin’ up smoochin’ to do with Sax . . . ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2000, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-homosexuals-recruit-me/21752/22 "2000-06-08T21:05:12Z")
::sniff sniff:: Can’t we have a threesome, Eve? I heard girls like to do it that way. C’mon. Pretty please? Besides, I can’t say why, but Sax Face became one of my newest bestest friends this week, so I’d be very happy to do her, too. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2000, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-homosexuals-recruit-me/21752/23 "2000-06-08T21:58:09Z")
Careful, boys. I believe they are trying to turn us on. Why are lesbians so attractive to straight guys? Is it the two-for-one aspect or is it more like, “If she’ll even do a woman then I have a chance”? And do women find gay guys attractive? Why? ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-homosexuals-recruit-me/21752/24 "2000-06-09T01:01:28Z")
_tries being serious in a whimsical thread to answer Dropzone’s questions_ Actually watching lesbians isn’t attractive for me personally, but the thought of a woman being comfortable in her sexuality - lesbian, bi or whatever - is very attractive. And Eve… getting bored? How good is your imagination? ---
**Author:** ![omni-not](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8dc957/32.png) [@omni-not](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/omni-not)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-homosexuals-recruit-me/21752/25 "2000-06-09T01:50:05Z")
> [@](#): > > On page 384 in the chapter about collecting toaster ovens among other fabulous prizes, it says active recruitment can only be known for sure after you have sex with the recruitee. I guess that leaves me out. Sqrl: Give it a shot. I’d bet Eve could set you straight!😉 Eve: Now you’ve turned me more…on:D ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-homosexuals-recruit-me/21752/26 "2000-06-09T04:12:00Z")
Norma: You know, Toddy, I bet the right woman could reform you. Toddy: You know, Norma, I bet the right woman could reform _you._ -_Victor/Victoria_ ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-homosexuals-recruit-me/21752/27 "2000-06-09T04:12:27Z")
People, this is Eve we’re talking about here. You’re not going to turn her into a lesbian with Doc Martens and Melissa Ethridge CD’s. You should be arranging a special screening of the films of Tallulah Bankhead, Patsy Kelly, Marjorie Main, Alla Nazimova, and Barbara Stanwyck. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-homosexuals-recruit-me/21752/28 "2000-06-09T04:16:15Z")
OK, since I’m probably the only lesbian to reply to this post, I’ll try: Should I recruit you my dear? Are you worthy of the loving attention it takes to charm a person, to make them feel special and show that you also might be special to them? While there’s certainly nothing wrong with being straight, as you are now, there is something to be said for the loving relationship between two women. Think about a relationship where the other partner has grown up with many of the same life experiences as yourself. Where the other partner knows how hard it is to be woman, and when you come home at night and are exhausted she knows how and where you hurt, and how you like to be relaxed, and what will make you smile again. Where the other partner often runs into many of the same barriers as you do in society, and can show true understanding when you are upset, and help you get through the tough times. She can laugh at many of the same things that you do, things which many men chalk up to as “female quirks”. A relationship where fun is defined as a picnic in the sunshine, cuddling in bed on rainy day weekends, wrapping each other in a comforter to watch the first snow of the season fall late at night. Simple things like that. Where the other partner has soft and silky skin as yourself, and like yourself loves the feel of softness, satin and nylon upon it (and you can share clothes too!) She smells like you, feels like you, and her body is as familiar to you as your own. Where she knows exactly what to do, where to do it, when to stop, and when not to stop even when you beg her. These pleasures don’t have to be better than those of the straight world, but they are different and new. Won’t you join and discover how special you really are? ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-homosexuals-recruit-me/21752/29 "2000-06-09T05:22:14Z")
Well damn, Anthracite, you’ve gone and converted _me_! All of that sounds positively great. 🙂 Now, how to tell the BF?!? Hmmm, something tells me he will be cool w/it if I let him watch at least once…😉 Seriously though, if it was a matter of choice, I’d probably choose to be bi. Not a full lesbian though, I really REALLY love men…even when they make me so mad I can’t even see straight. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-homosexuals-recruit-me/21752/30 "2000-06-09T12:42:40Z")
I visited your Geocities page **pepper**. You’ll make an excellent addition to the cause! Perhaps I can convert enough others to have a lebian harem, hmm? But now - did it work on Eve? Did she turn up her cute little nose and stride confidently away, or is she still swooning and confused after reading? ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-homosexuals-recruit-me/21752/31 "2000-06-09T14:01:23Z")
“Did she turn up her cute little nose and stride confidently away, or is she still swooning and confused after reading?” –Well, you have obviously seen my stride, and just as obviously never seen my nose. Goddam. Lesbianism sounds like just as much hard work as being straight–especially now that Sax and Shayna are obviously carrying on behind my back. I think I will sit the dance out entirely and hang up my spikes. Anyone wanna convert me to celibacy? ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-homosexuals-recruit-me/21752/32 "2000-06-09T14:17:03Z")
> [@](#): > > Anyone wanna convert me to celibacy? Phaedrus in a bikini. That ought to do the trick. ---
**Author:** ![SqrlCub](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SqrlCub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SqrlCub)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-homosexuals-recruit-me/21752/33 "2000-06-09T14:22:21Z")
Well, lesbians supposedly have the lowest STD and HIV infection rates. You can should convert just to be on the safe side. Conversion to celibacy isn’t hard, just go to an HIV hospice where several of your friends are dying and are starting to get the nastier side effects of the virus. I think I am going to cry now. HUGS! Sqrl ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-homosexuals-recruit-me/21752/34 "2000-06-09T15:23:03Z")
Whoa, way to bring the party down, Cubby. Eve, I hope you **do** decide to switch teams. That way it will seem less painful that I will never be able to make a pass at you… I can just tell myself, “It doesn’t matter that she’ll never know what a crush I have on her… she’s gay anyway, so it could never happen.” ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-homosexuals-recruit-me/21752/35 "2000-06-09T15:40:07Z")
Hell, Anthracite, I can tell from your post that you obviously have the deluxe toaster oven. Eve, if that didn’t convert you, I’m not sure anything could. As for myself, this damned fascination with men keeps screwing things up. ::Shrug:: but that post sure as hell made me wish I was gay. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-homosexuals-recruit-me/21752/36 "2000-06-09T15:49:31Z")
“That way it will seem less painful that I will never be able to make a pass at you…” –Good heavens, man, what’s keeping you from TRYING? You can always say, “Ah, if only I didn’t live in Texas and she in New York . . .” Anthracite is indeed very tempting. but I too am held back only by the minor detail of not being attracted to women, darnit. I thought Dan Quayle said you folks could “convert” us, by which I thought he meant you could actually change our sexual orientation! I am beginning to suspect that just maybe the Far Right doesn’t always know what it’s talking about . . . ---
**Author:** ![SqrlCub](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SqrlCub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SqrlCub)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-homosexuals-recruit-me/21752/37 "2000-06-09T15:53:14Z")
Eve said, “…the Far Right doesn’t always know what it’s talking about…” DUH! Hugs. The now depressed Sqrl ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-homosexuals-recruit-me/21752/38 "2000-06-09T16:05:47Z")
Sorry Sqrl—I should have posted an “ironic winking happy face” next to that comment, but I have never bothered to learn to to do those things . . . ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-homosexuals-recruit-me/21752/39 "2000-06-09T16:12:20Z")
> [@](#): > > I visited your Geocities page pepper. You’ll make an excellent addition to the cause! Perhaps I can > convert enough others to have a lebian harem, hmm? Thank you. Keep the compliments coming like that, and I’ll be more than happy to join your harem 😉 ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-homosexuals-recruit-me/21752/40 "2000-06-09T18:42:49Z")
Well, I’d try, but I think Anthracite has already done a pretty good job. Besides, my track record in the recruitment department isn’t exactly splendid… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-homosexuals-recruit-me/21752.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-homosexuals-recruit-me/21752.md?page=3)