# Ok, I paid my money, so start entertaining me! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 27, 2004, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-i-paid-my-money-so-start-entertaining-me/236662 "2004-03-27T01:55:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-i-paid-my-money-so-start-entertaining-me/236662/61 "2004-03-28T20:45:26Z")
I feel stupid and contagious. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-i-paid-my-money-so-start-entertaining-me/236662/62 "2004-03-28T22:19:03Z")
“Niagara Falls! Slowly I turned…” ---
**Author:** ![Magickly\_Delicious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magickly\_Delicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magickly_Delicious)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-i-paid-my-money-so-start-entertaining-me/236662/63 "2004-03-29T00:33:19Z")
Early in the middle of the day one night Two dead boys got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other Drew their swords and shot one another. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-i-paid-my-money-so-start-entertaining-me/236662/64 "2004-03-29T01:41:44Z")
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts Mutilated monkey meat Perforated piggies’ feet A one-quart jar of all-purpose porpoise pus Floating in my lemonade And me without my strawwwwwwwww… ---
**Author:** ![Eleusis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Eleusis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleusis)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-i-paid-my-money-so-start-entertaining-me/236662/65 "2004-03-29T03:56:24Z")
> [@Magickly Delicious](#): > > Early in the middle of the day one night > Two dead boys got up to fight. > Back to back they faced each other > Drew their swords and shot one another. ## A deaf policeman heard the noise and came and killed those two dead boys Twas midnight on the ocean Not a streetcar was in sight The sun was shining brightly And it rained all day that night. The barefoot boy with shoes on Sat standing on the grass A bee flew by and the streetcar Stopped to let it pass. ---
**Author:** ![Tikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5daacb/32.png) [@Tikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tikki)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-i-paid-my-money-so-start-entertaining-me/236662/66 "2004-03-29T04:15:35Z")
Miss Mary Mac, Mac, Mac All dressed in black, black, black With silver buttons, buttons, buttons All down her back, back, back She asked her mother, mother, mother For fifty cents, cents, cents To see the elephant, elephant, elephant Jump the fence, fence, fence He jumped so high, high, high He touched the sky, sky, sky And didn’t come back, back, back Until the Fourth of July, ly, ly! ---
**Author:** ![Tikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5daacb/32.png) [@Tikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tikki)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-i-paid-my-money-so-start-entertaining-me/236662/67 "2004-03-29T04:19:25Z")
Comet! Makes your teeth turn green! Comet! Tastes like kerosene! Comet make you vomit, So buy some Comet and vomit today! ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-i-paid-my-money-so-start-entertaining-me/236662/68 "2004-03-29T05:19:37Z")
Last night I met upon the stair A little man who wasn’t there. He wasn’t there again today. I wish to heck he’d go away! ---
**Author:** ![Eleusis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Eleusis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleusis)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-i-paid-my-money-so-start-entertaining-me/236662/69 "2004-03-29T06:13:29Z")
The night was dark, the sky was blue Down the alley a shit cart flew A wheel came off, A scream was heard A man was killed by a flying turd ---
**Author:** ![IvaHD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/fbc32d/32.png) [@IvaHD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvaHD)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-i-paid-my-money-so-start-entertaining-me/236662/70 "2004-03-29T06:34:56Z")
> [@Eleusis](#): > > A deaf policeman heard the noise > and came and killed those two dead boys If you don’t believe my stories true Ask the blind man, he saw it too ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-i-paid-my-money-so-start-entertaining-me/236662/71 "2004-03-29T13:07:34Z")
The deaf-mute said he heard the scream As the dead boys drowned in the dried-up stream. ---
**Author:** ![Phedre\_no\_Delaunay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/839c29/32.png) [@Phedre\_no\_Delaunay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phedre_no_Delaunay)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-i-paid-my-money-so-start-entertaining-me/236662/72 "2004-03-29T14:22:50Z")
A guy walked into a bar. He said “ouch!” ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-i-paid-my-money-so-start-entertaining-me/236662/73 "2004-03-29T14:27:28Z")
_:: runs through thread, wearing full plate armor ::_ ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-i-paid-my-money-so-start-entertaining-me/236662/74 "2004-03-29T14:27:41Z")
I just got back from a trip to Alaska. Here, let me show you my photos from the trip – we shot eight rolls of film – can you believe it? Here’s me standing in the snow next to a sign that says “Welcome to Fairbanks”. And that’s my friend standing in the snow next to a sign that says “Welcome to Fairbanks”. And here’s my friend and I standing together next to the sign that says “Welcome to Fairbanks”. Look, he’s making little reindeer horns behind my head. The next picture is the view out of the car on the way to the hotel – look at all that snow. What’s that you say – you hear the phone? I don’t hear anything. Come back! The next picture is where a whole team of huskies peed in the snow – it’s really funny. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-i-paid-my-money-so-start-entertaining-me/236662.md?page=3)