# Ok,Im new here,Carol is the name **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 18, 2010, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534 "2010-04-18T15:34:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![carol\_nistri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/edb3f5/32.png) [@carol\_nistri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carol_nistri)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/261 "2010-04-27T15:45:38Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Could you please answer the question about what the entities who are collecting cow anuses, udders, and eyes are taking them for, and why they are taking those tissues specifically? No I wont answer this since Ive never ever said it was aliens involved,capice?:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![carol\_nistri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/edb3f5/32.png) [@carol\_nistri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carol_nistri)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/262 "2010-04-27T15:46:59Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > That’s what is so curious. > > But **carol nistri** did sort of answer that question. > Of course I guess it’s not really _her_ opinion, it’s just what somebody said on line once, and it’s interesting so she decided it’s true. When people pointed out that this theory was convoluted, stupid, and made no sense, she started talking about crop circles. and just why is it convoluted and stupid? ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/263 "2010-04-27T15:47:07Z")
Lessee…what do I need to add to this. 1 - Hi **Carol** , welcome to the Dope! 2 - Now that we’ve raised crop circles, it is worth noting that many circles are dismissed as being crappy human copies, and only the best are ‘real’. This therefore selects for one end of the spectrum, and denies that there is a spectrum. I’ve noticed that I get better and faster at something the more I do it, and that I come up with ways to make it simpler. So MIT students are who have spent a year or so making crop circles - crop circles dismissed as human fakes during their learning period - might be damn good after a year. (what \*\*Telemark \*\*said) 3 - Why do the aliens want cow anus? Are they making hotdogs? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/264 "2010-04-27T15:47:08Z")
> [@carol\_nistri](#): > > No I wont answer this since Ive never ever said it was aliens involved,capice?:rolleyes: “Government agents must be taking only the anuses and eyeballs to test to see if radioactive material.” “What about aliens, could they be involved?” “No, not aliens. That would be stupid.” Yup. _That_ would be stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/265 "2010-04-27T15:50:28Z")
> [@carol\_nistri](#): > > and just why is it convoluted and stupid? Because it’s unnecessarily complicated and could be done much more simply (convoluted) and makes no sense (stupid). Quoting your own post here: > [@carol\_nistri](#): > > Torpor Beast said in part,“Why would the government cut up some random farmer’s cows on an open pasture, when they can just buy a bunch of them and move them somewhere less conspicuous? And if they’d need to test some specific animals for something, they could just make up a reason to get to the animals.” You didn’t answer any of his questions, of course, but **Torpor Beast** was exactly right. If the government wants to test cattle in secret, why mangle the cattle and create a mystery that people will look into? Why not just buy some cows and do whatever the hell they want with them? Why test the cows at all instead of just testing the grass and plants? It’s not like no one knows how radiation works. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/266 "2010-04-27T15:52:12Z")
> [@carol\_nistri](#): > > No I wont answer this since Ive never ever said it was aliens involved,capice?:rolleyes: Wow. You’ve even managed to _not_ answer a question with another question. That’s impressive. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/267 "2010-04-27T15:55:42Z")
> [@carol\_nistri](#): > > and just why is it convoluted and stupid? Because if the feds wanted to know whether radioactive substances had made their way into the grass, they could sample the grass itself, or just wave a geiger counter over it. But that’s assuming you know what a geiger counter is, or how radiation works for that matter. Not getting my hopes up. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/268 "2010-04-27T15:59:09Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > 3 - Why do the aliens want cow anus? Are they making hotdogs? Silly! They don’t use _cow_ anus for those! ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/269 "2010-04-27T15:59:23Z")
Now your,cooking! ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/270 "2010-04-27T16:24:45Z")
> [@Koxinga](#): > > Because if the feds wanted to know whether radioactive substances had made their way into the grass, they could sample the grass itself, or just wave a geiger counter over it. Or take random samples of beef from production lines, or order ranchers to allow them to take samples from cattle that have grazed in certain areas, or simply declare hazardous areas off limits so as to prevent a major public health crisis slash scare, or purchase their own cattle and experiment with them under controlled conditions rather than collecting data from cattle with unknown backgrounds, or collect wildlife in the area that aren’t owned by ranchers with friends who work at newspapers, or take the entire cow instead of just bits and pieces so the ranchers don’t have any evidence of what’s happened, or just slaughter everyone within miles so word of their experimentation doesn’t get out. Any one of these scenarios would be simpler and more straightforward than what Carol is suggesting, and still let “them” collect exactly the same information that she seems to be thinking they’re getting. I predict this post, like so many others will be thoroughly and studiously ignored, or at best acknowledged with a sly wink and a nod to allow her to scoot past it without addressing any of the points. And I’m backing up that prediction with a full two dozen cow anuses. If I’m wrong, the next 24 posters get a free cow anus. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/271 "2010-04-27T16:42:19Z")
> [@the lone cashew](#): > > Now your,cooking! Now my cooking? My cooking is what? Radioactive? OMGOMGOMGOMGZOMGIMGONNADIE! ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/272 "2010-04-27T17:07:56Z")
> [@carol\_nistri](#): > > No I wont answer this since Ive never ever said it was aliens involved,capice?:rolleyes: I didn’t say you did. By “entity” I meant whatever organization or individuals are collecting the material. It could be Black Ops or some other government organization, it could be aliens, it could be leprechauns. I suppose you sort of answered it here, but it is not clear that you think that this is the explanation for all instances of cattle mutilations. > [@carol\_nistri](#): > > She suggested that these animals that are taken for their soft tissue have been grazing on federal lands under which hot radio active material has been buried,the object of this exercise is to take animals test their soft tissue to see if any of the radio active material has found its way into the grasses and plants the animals have been feeding on. In many many cases these animals that are chosen for their soft tissue have been grazing for free on Federal lands,interesting thought isnt it? But don’t cattle mutilations occur over huge areas? Are you suggesting that there are vast quantities of radioactive material buried under public lands in the west? (There must be large amounts given that the area from which cattle mutilations have been recorded is so large.) Where did this radioactive material come from? Atomic bomb tests? Nuclear reactors? Why not bury it near the site of the test or the reactor, or at least on some federal facility or military base where the government can control access, rather than spreading it around on public grazing land? Wouldn’t there be some evidence of burial? In any case, ranchers are not usually allowed to graze stock “for free” on federal lands; both the Forest Service and Bureau of Land Management charge a grazing fee to those running stock. Besides this, I am not aware of any reason anuses, udders, or eyes would preferentially accumulate radioisotopes. Far more likely tissues for sampling would be bone, blood, liver, and certain glands. I think that this idea can only have come from someone who knows nothing about physiology, radiation, or cattle grazing practices on federal lands. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/273 "2010-04-27T17:10:29Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > I suppose you sort of answered it here, but it is not clear that you think that this is the explanation for all instances of cattle mutilations. The most telling part is that Ms. Lawyer admitted there were also cases of “mutilations” of cattle that _hadn’t_ been grazing on federal land. It’s harder to explain the radiation exposure or whatever with those. > [@](#): > > I think that this idea can only have come from someone who knows nothing about physiology, radiation, federal land management practices, or cattle raising. That’s kind of a given. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/274 "2010-04-27T17:21:57Z")
**Ludovic** > [@](#): > > Now my cooking? My cooking is what? Radioactive? OMGOMGOMGOMGZOMGIMGONNADIE! very funny,no you are,very clever I,mean it you **Ludovic** are clever to say the least.OK Ill sum up for you not now your, cooking now,_your_cooking but I see what you,havedonehere. whatI,mean is those cattle teats are great may I please have,another not a anus but a teat thanks ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/275 "2010-04-27T17:44:50Z")
You want a teat, not an anus? Don’t you know there are starving kids who would give their left nipple for a cow anus? ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/276 "2010-04-27T17:53:09Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > You want a teat, not an anus? Don’t you know there are starving kids who would give their left nipple for a cow anus? I think you mean “Don’t you know **theyre** are starving kids who would give **there** left nipple..” ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/277 "2010-04-27T18:19:38Z")
To Freudian Slit: thats why I choose teat,not a anus thanks your not trying to be funny are you,because I do care about starving kids and anyway love those all beef ball-park teats are great,I love now your cooking so there you are,two reasons that I want another teat because I care and their great To FloatyGimpy: you are clever,you really are I mean it but I see what you have done,thats all for now,I gotta go,gotta get going ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/278 "2010-04-27T18:24:00Z")
My self esteem has just dropped two whole notches, must stop posting in this thread. ~becomes a lurker~ ---
**Author:** ![carol\_nistri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/edb3f5/32.png) [@carol\_nistri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carol_nistri)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/279 "2010-04-27T18:25:09Z")
Class class,come to order,now at least your talking about the subject and yes I still think the Lady lawyer came up with the best explanation Ive ever heard on the subject and it beats that its aliens.Although there is the case of the man and wife that were out on their lands while cows were birthing their calfs,seems they tended to one mother and calf went over a ridge and went back within a half hour and the cow was dead and mutilated.Let me see if I can find this story. Hope this doesnt skeert ya none… [http://www.crystalinks.com/animal\_mutilation.html](http://www.crystalinks.com/animal_mutilation.html) ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/280 "2010-04-27T18:27:21Z")
Carol: ever had a near death experience? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534.md?page=15)