# Ok,Im new here,Carol is the name **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 18, 2010, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534 "2010-04-18T15:34:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 20
**Author:** ![carol\_nistri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/edb3f5/32.png) [@carol\_nistri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carol_nistri)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/381 "2010-04-30T14:03:32Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > He means this comment posted after the end of the article: Ok,thanks Hamster King,I wonder how come so many people seem to know the workings of a beam weapon? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/382 "2010-04-30T14:03:47Z")
> [@Koxinga](#): > > wats the differenz between laffing with me and laffing at me? No difference at all. Really. _snigger_ ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/383 "2010-04-30T14:42:03Z")
> [@carol\_nistri](#): > > Ok,thanks Hamster King,I wonder how come so many people seem to know the workings of a beam weapon? Because it’s not some esoteric discipline only found in arcane tomes of magic? The science behind microwaves is pretty straightforward and publicly available. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/384 "2010-04-30T15:09:10Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Because it’s not some esoteric discipline only found in arcane tomes of magic? The science behind microwaves is pretty straightforward and publicly available. …to ALIENS!! Working with BLACK OPS PEOPLE!!! ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/385 "2010-04-30T16:00:52Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > …to ALIENS!! Working with BLACK OPS PEOPLE!!! Who like to microwave cow anuses!!! Come to think of it, between the cow mutilating and the famous probing they do on unreliable rednecks, has anybody considered that extraterrestrials have some kind of fetish? Freud would have had a field day with these analiens. ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/386 "2010-04-30T16:27:26Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Who like to microwave cow anuses!!! > . Microwave… are you kidding me? Who would microwave a cow anus? Only a charcol grill with real hardwood charcol (propane is almost as bad as the microwave)… Oh, wait this isn’t Cafe Society is it… Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/387 "2010-04-30T17:48:28Z")
> [@Spud](#): > > Only a charcol grill with real hardwood charcol (propane is almost as bad as the microwave)… Sure, if you want to taste charcoal. But if you really want to taste the anus, propane is the only choice. Clean burning propane. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/388 "2010-04-30T17:53:59Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > But if you really want to taste the anus, propane is the only choice. Well…not the _only_ choice. There’s a phone number in your PM box. Call it and ask for Svetlana, then hang up. Proceed to your nearest railroad overpass, and be sure and have $500 in cash and a bucket of soapy frogs. You’re welcome. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/389 "2010-04-30T18:11:59Z")
> [@carol\_nistri](#): > > Ok,thanks Hamster King,I wonder how come so many people seem to know the workings of a beam weapon? Pretty much everyone here at the Straight Dope is an expert on 1920’s style death rays, which are not too far off of beam weapons. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/390 "2010-04-30T18:21:03Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Who like to microwave cow anuses!!! We call them “hot dogs.” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/391 "2010-04-30T18:30:55Z")
> [@carol\_nistri](#): > > Ok,thanks Hamster King,I wonder how come so many people seem to know the workings of a beam weapon? Because Vallee’s first post on Boing Boing provided a convenient link to [this article](http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg20227045.500-microwaves-could-defuse-bombs-from-afar.html) that describes EXACTLY the sort of beam weapon that he’s wetting himself about. The technology is clever but not strange. A laser is used to ionize the atmosphere to create a waveguide for microwaves. This allows a much higher intensity blast of microwaves to be directed to a target than if you just pointed an emitter at it. The thing is, even though there’s a new aiming technology involved, they’re still just microwaves. They heat things up. They disrupt electronics. The new technology is a clever way to direct powerful microwaves at something you can’t get physically close to – which is why the military is interested in it. But you could get exactly the same effect by just moving the emitter really close to the target. Vallee clearly has absolutely no understanding of the science or technology behind this weapon. He reads “beam weapon” and his imagination soars off into the ether on magical unicorn wings. In his ignorance, he imagines that this super-secret “beam weapon” is capable of doing things that, to anyone with any sort of science or engineering background, IT OBVIOUSLY CANNOT DO. That’s why he’s an idiot. He don’t have the intelligence or education to talk rationally about the topic. He’s randomly glomming onto anything that remotely sounds like it might be related to his crackpot ideas. ---
**Author:** ![carol\_nistri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/edb3f5/32.png) [@carol\_nistri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carol_nistri)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/392 "2010-04-30T19:20:50Z")
Oh maan,I just lost a post and it was my own darn fault but I hate when that happens.Now Hamster King I know I made reference to Alien Face before but look at it once again if you would. [Crop Circle Research: The 2002 'Alien Face' Formation](http://www.cropcircleresearch.com/articles/alienface.html) I wish to heck I could post the picture but lets proceed anyway. Isnt it possible for that technology you just discribed to be applied to this field of whatever crop is there? I mean isnt it possible for a satillite to receive orders from someone operating at a military base,much the same way the Predator is given its instructions from a guy sitting at a base in Las Vegas Nevada. When I first saw this I was floored.Imagine the Predator getting its instructions from someone in a chair sitting at a computer thousands of miles away.Its how its done so we know the technology exists. Well when I look at this face and see that incredible shading and see how the lines narrow it reminds me of how people actually ‘draw’ on the computer.One little mistep on the part of circlemakers would have ruined the entire face and instead of looking manevolent it would have looked cartoonish. Its the shading that gets me,its incredible. Oh,my original question is isnt it possible for someone in a control room to make this alien face on his computer send the signal to a passing satillite and have the satillite in turn send down the beam that actually bends and shades the crop,um that isnt exactly how it works I dont think but do you know what it is Im asking? ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/393 "2010-04-30T19:46:00Z")
Sure. But why? Much simpler to use a computer to make a digital map of the image you want to make. Monkey with the pixel size, such that you can translate it into a map that you can carry on the ground, so that if it is a dark spot on the image, that will translate to a 1 meter area of flat grain. Go out at night. Use four laser guides to set up the box the image will be in. Use a laser guide and target to define a row. walk from the laser to the target, flattening the grain where the map tells you -[Row five: meters 1- 11 grain, meters 12-18 flatten, meters 19-25 grain.] The main picture looks to be maybe 60-75 lines total? A second team uses a central laser and a target that is carried around the periphery, while one guy runs up and down the lines, flattening grain via the map. Use cell phones and bluetooth to keep the noise down. Or just be lotech and use string, screw the lasers. I don’t see this as more than difficult. If one of my friends wanted to do it, I’d be way up for it. By the way, why are the photos at an angle? Is there a problem with the image face-on? ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/394 "2010-04-30T19:50:58Z")
But you’re forgetting the ability to cook the cow anuses (anii?) using the beams from the satellite, which doesn’t let you tie together all the random crazy into one conspiracy theory. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/395 "2010-04-30T20:03:47Z")
And just what is wrong with cow anus tartare? ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/396 "2010-04-30T21:09:34Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > And just what is wrong with cow anus tartare? As long as there is absolutely no Ketchup… Damn, I keep forgetting we aren’t in Cafe Society. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/397 "2010-04-30T21:20:35Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > Sure. But why? Quoted because it needs to be said again. WHY??? Why on earth would anyone do what you’re suggesting? Is your world truly so mysterious that people just do things for no comprehensible reason?? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/398 "2010-04-30T21:22:08Z")
> [@carol\_nistri](#): > > Isnt it possible for that technology you just discribed to be applied to this field of whatever crop is there? No. It would be impossible for the described beam weapon technology to produce that image. Here are some reasons: 1. The beam can only heat things. It can’t bend things. 2. No aircraft could provide a stable enough platform. The slightest gust of wind would spoil the image. 3. It can’t have been made from orbit because the technology uses ionized AIR as a waveguide for the microwaves. I don’t see what’s so baffling about this particular image. It’s laid down in regular rows (except for the circle which is laid down in regular rings). All you do is calculate in advance what the pattern for each row (or ring) is, and then walk through the image row by row, mashing down the crops at the predetermined points. > [@](#): > > Oh,my original question is isnt it possible for someone in a control room to make this alien face on his computer send the signal to a passing satillite and have the satillite in turn send down the beam that actually bends and shades the crop? No. It’s utterly, totally impossible. It’s more plausible that it was done with a herd of trained elephants. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/399 "2010-04-30T21:34:21Z")
> [@The\_Hamster\_King](#): > > No. > No. It’s utterly, totally impossible. It’s more plausible that it was done with a herd of trained elephants. Or hamsters. If only we knew like, a King Hamster we could get this organized. ---
**Author:** ![DarrenS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@DarrenS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarrenS)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2010, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/400 "2010-05-01T01:02:56Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > But you’re forgetting the ability to cook the cow anuses (anii?) using the beams from the satellite, which doesn’t let you tie together all the random crazy into one conspiracy theory. Ah, they’re 1920s-style beef rays. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534.md?page=19) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534.md?page=21)