# Ok, I've had enough; put up yer dukes, StrTrkr777! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 7, 2000, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-ive-had-enough-put-up-yer-dukes-strtrkr777/32369 "2000-09-07T16:31:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![StrTrkr777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@StrTrkr777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StrTrkr777)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-ive-had-enough-put-up-yer-dukes-strtrkr777/32369/61 "2000-09-09T03:02:39Z")
As an aside, if we can get more folks involved in the fray we could make this thing as big as the Guy Stuff thread. Back on topic. Trkr hates having spider webs all over him. If I find that cotton-picking spider I am gonna blast her with my ray gun. As for the rest of you. Trkr pulls out a giant Super Soaker and begins to pump it up. The crowd laughs at the seeming futility of using a Super Soaker in this battle. \*The crowd does not yet know that it is filled with a mixture of alum and water. Thus being a cartoon, it will cause all who are hit to shrink. \* A good soaking of the various combatants, especially VB, and everyone starts shrinking. Well everyone except Trkr, GBS, and PB. Yes, girls I am man enough to please the both of you. 😉 Jeffery ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-ive-had-enough-put-up-yer-dukes-strtrkr777/32369/62 "2000-09-09T03:15:09Z")
Spider **never** uses cotton for her webs or threads, because of shrinkage factors and lack of tensile strength. Thinks of ways to be too near vaporizer weapons to regain invisibility so Trkr won’t blast her. Realizes Trkr’s Trusty Dusty Space Demodulizer was the original weapon to vaporize the tree, and sneaks into his arsenal while Trkr is busy shrinking everyone else with giant Super Soaker. Thinks, this invisibility thing could be marketable too, if only it wouldn’t wear off so quickly. Steals Trkr’s weapon, takes it home to new abode under fallen log, finds all the spider babies watching _cartoons_. Shrieks with angst: do you want to grow up to be like all those humans out there? ---
**Author:** ![SmoothOperator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@SmoothOperator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmoothOperator)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-ive-had-enough-put-up-yer-dukes-strtrkr777/32369/63 "2000-09-09T03:50:13Z")
And wondering why I’m not considered a women (cause I’m not falling for the guys maybe), Smoothy goes and hides in the cuffs of Ogre’s pants. Hopefully I’ll be safe here until I regain my normal size. :sheesh, all I wanted to do was watch the fun: ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-ive-had-enough-put-up-yer-dukes-strtrkr777/32369/64 "2000-09-09T04:00:40Z")
You’re spider size now; want to join our evil arachnid army? -----🆒 —////\\ ---
**Author:** ![SmoothOperator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@SmoothOperator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmoothOperator)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-ive-had-enough-put-up-yer-dukes-strtrkr777/32369/65 "2000-09-09T04:54:17Z")
Well, I don’t want to be evil, but I like to be mischievous. As long as no one gets hurt. 😃 So what do you want to do first? ---
**Author:** ![BIG\_Mama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@BIG\_Mama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BIG_Mama)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-ive-had-enough-put-up-yer-dukes-strtrkr777/32369/66 "2000-09-09T05:03:08Z")
LETS GET IT ON! Just kidding. ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-ive-had-enough-put-up-yer-dukes-strtrkr777/32369/67 "2000-09-09T11:57:34Z")
Would you like to become invisible? I’m still working on figuring out how exactly this happened, and it may have deleterious effects on humans (jb\_farley keeps passing out). I’m thinking of just doing creepy, crawly, webby, sticky things. Spiders don’t have to do much to bother humans, sadly. Any ideas you have are welcome. No one has claimed this BIG Mama person yet. Maybe she would like to become part of our faction, being one of the few humans who has not yet been shrunk by Trkr. -----🙂 —////\\ ---
**Author:** ![THespos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8c91f0/32.png) [@THespos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/THespos)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-ive-had-enough-put-up-yer-dukes-strtrkr777/32369/68 "2000-09-09T16:29:00Z")
I’m still flat as a pancake!!! Hook a brother up. ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-ive-had-enough-put-up-yer-dukes-strtrkr777/32369/69 "2000-09-09T20:13:30Z")
Spider, noticing that most of the players are recessing from recess, decides to reinflate THespos herself. If taken to an extreme, he might make an interesting advertising balloon outside the start-up real estate company she is thinking about. She and the children set out to find a compressor with an air hose attachment, leaving Smoothy to oversee the scene of carnage. . . ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-ive-had-enough-put-up-yer-dukes-strtrkr777/32369/70 "2000-09-09T20:27:58Z")
A sleek orange random Cat comes up to see what’s going on – inborn curiosity, you know. Looks with disdain on these silly human (and Ogre) antics. Sees something moving under one of the fallen trees … it’s spiders! Yummy! ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-ive-had-enough-put-up-yer-dukes-strtrkr777/32369/71 "2000-09-09T20:34:08Z")
------:eek: ----////\\ ------:eek: ----////\\ ------:eek: ----////\\ Help! We are losing our invisibility! ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-ive-had-enough-put-up-yer-dukes-strtrkr777/32369/72 "2000-09-09T20:41:29Z")
_Lots_ of spiders! Even better 😃 _does that little hip-wiggle thing in preparation for a pounce_ ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-ive-had-enough-put-up-yer-dukes-strtrkr777/32369/73 "2000-09-09T21:02:46Z")
Spiders scatter everywhere, right after mama spider has frantically dosed them all with the invisibility ray. Has the cat gotten too close? Will it become invisible too? Little spiders approach the random cat from all sides in preparation to web and goo all over, unaware that. . . ---
**Author:** ![jb\_farley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9d8465/32.png) [@jb\_farley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jb_farley)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-ive-had-enough-put-up-yer-dukes-strtrkr777/32369/74 "2000-09-09T21:11:19Z")
snxzzzzzzzzz bweee-bweee-bweee-bweee-bweeee snnnzxxzzzzzzzzzz… bweeee-bweeeee-bweee-bweeee-bweeeeee ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-ive-had-enough-put-up-yer-dukes-strtrkr777/32369/75 "2000-09-09T21:20:21Z")
Little spiders start slinging threads everywhere: take [**that**](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=35915) and [**that**](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=35104) and [**that**](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=37784) and [**that**](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=27381) ! jb\_farley snores on, unaware of his sticky plight, while the random cat notices that spider threads taste something like cotton candy. . . ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-ive-had-enough-put-up-yer-dukes-strtrkr777/32369/76 "2000-09-09T22:14:27Z")
_The random cat, purring, curls up on the chest of the sleeping jb\_farley._ Those spider webs were just as yummy as the baby spiders themselves … Wait, I feel funny… ---
**Author:** ![jb\_farley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9d8465/32.png) [@jb\_farley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jb_farley)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-ive-had-enough-put-up-yer-dukes-strtrkr777/32369/77 "2000-09-09T22:21:34Z")
jb wakes up long enough to eat the cat mmmm, kittens. ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-ive-had-enough-put-up-yer-dukes-strtrkr777/32369/78 "2000-09-09T22:23:45Z")
Undigested, very **lively** spiders issue forth from cat’s ears and nostrils (whispering what they recently heard jb\_farley, in one of his rare fits of consciousness, utter: > [@](#): > > must… eat… dead kittens… -----:mad: —////\\ -----:mad: —////\\ -----:mad: —////\\ ---
**Author:** ![SmoothOperator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@SmoothOperator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmoothOperator)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-ive-had-enough-put-up-yer-dukes-strtrkr777/32369/79 "2000-09-09T23:17:14Z")
Smoothy goes over to jb to see if she can help him. She moves to his ear and starts telling him that he MUST get up and go help PB and GBS get out of the webs. Then he would be their hero and they would pet and stroke his…er, ego…yeah…ego. Smoothy then goes to check on SpiderWoman and babies to make sure that Catrandom hadn’t hurt any of them. ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-ive-had-enough-put-up-yer-dukes-strtrkr777/32369/80 "2000-09-09T23:27:38Z")
thanks Smoothy for her concern, and, after assurances of spider well-being are issued, wonders what to do about poor struggling cat, and poor jb\_farley, who, in his semi-conscious (and perennial) state, has eaten said cat. Is there hope of both cat and (comatose) human to survive? Inquiring minds want to know. . . ------😕 ----////\\ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-ive-had-enough-put-up-yer-dukes-strtrkr777/32369.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-ive-had-enough-put-up-yer-dukes-strtrkr777/32369.md?page=5)