# OK, Jews, time to hire a lawyer... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 22, 2003, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-jews-time-to-hire-a-lawyer/196853 "2003-08-22T03:35:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-jews-time-to-hire-a-lawyer/196853/41 "2003-08-22T14:49:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\*What??? I typed out half the history of my nation because of YOUR stupid mistake? > > I’m gonna sue your Yankee ass. 🙂 > > Well, the _loss_ of Nieuw Amsterdam… I don’t know. We sort of swapped it with the Brits, and got Suriname in return. > > Stop laughing. > > No, stop it. > > There’s lots of bauxite in Suriname, you know. And, uh, forrests. > > Stop it. > > Oh, all right. New rules. A nation can’t sue any other nation if the economic loss happened because of sheer stupidity. Which means the US can’t sue half the Middle East, because you can’t blame someone for fighting if you arm them first. 😃 \*\* Actually, it was one of the Banda Islands, to cement the Dutch monopoly on nutmeg. Source: “Nathaniel’s Nutmeg”. It seemed like a good trade at the time … 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mojo)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-jews-time-to-hire-a-lawyer/196853/42 "2003-08-22T15:08:49Z")
The Washington Times article doesn’t mention that it got the bulk of the info for the story from [a MEMRI translation](http://www.memri.org/bin/articles.cgi?Page=archives&Area=sd&ID=SP55603), which doesn’t mention that it was a satire of the Jewish claims for [reparations from Iraq](http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/content/auto/epaper/editions/monday/news_f304746d53bfe1950004.html), which Dr. Hilmi doesn’t mention sprung up as a response to claims for reparations from Palestinian refugees from Israel. [sub]Something about that paragraph makes me want to sing Chad Gadya…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-jews-time-to-hire-a-lawyer/196853/43 "2003-08-22T18:29:42Z")
Oh, MEMRI. Well that makes sense, then. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-jews-time-to-hire-a-lawyer/196853/44 "2003-08-22T18:35:29Z")
From **Mojo** ’s link: > [@](#): > > A group of Egyptians in Switzerland has opened the case of the so-called 'great exodus of the Jews from Pharaonic Egypt. I knew those dirty Swiss figured in there somewhere. > [@](#): > > “Cuckoo! Cuckoo! It’s time to hate the Swiss!” ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-jews-time-to-hire-a-lawyer/196853/45 "2003-08-23T00:26:43Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by zev\_steinhardt_ > \*\*OK, Jews, time to hire a lawyer… \*\* Hire? What, these people don’t have relatives any more? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-jews-time-to-hire-a-lawyer/196853/46 "2003-08-23T14:33:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > \*\*Lessee… > > I was born in the 1960s > > in south Texas > > with a heritage of German, American Indian, and Irish. \*\* Hey, I’m of Native American ancestry, too! I say the two of us team up and sue the US. Our people used to own this whole country until it was stolen by the Evil White Man. Some compensation is due. I’d be happy with a settlement of $5000 per acre. I’m not greedy. ---
**Author:** ![Creative\_Munster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/919ad9/32.png) [@Creative\_Munster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creative_Munster)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-jews-time-to-hire-a-lawyer/196853/47 "2003-08-23T15:05:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SkipMagic \* > \*\*;j Christ ;j, **Steinhardt** , just how old _are_ you? \*\* Are you implying that he must be immature to start a thread about this? I think I must be missing something here. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-jews-time-to-hire-a-lawyer/196853/48 "2003-08-23T19:03:12Z")
> [@](#): > > If we assume that the weight of what was stolen was one ton, [its worth] doubled every 20 years, even if the annual interest is only 5%. In one ton of gold is 700 kg of pure gold – and we must remember that what was stolen was jewelry, that is, alloyed with copper. Hence, after 1,000 years, it would be worth 1,125,898,240 million tons, which equals 1,125,898 billion tons for 1,000 years. In other words, 1,125 trillion tons of gold, that is, a million multiplied by a million tons of gold. This is for one stolen ton. The stolen gold is estimated at 300 tons, and it was not stolen for 1,000 years, but for 5,758 years, by the Jewish reckoning. Therefore, the debt is very large… Forget about the gold. With interest rates like this, the Jews won’t even be able to pay for the cooking utensils. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-jews-time-to-hire-a-lawyer/196853/49 "2003-08-23T20:59:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by samclem \* > \*\*A truly well-seasoned cast iron frying pan is worth its weight in gold. YMMV. \*\* I have a frying pan I would like to sell to you 😉 ---
**Author:** ![county](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce7236/32.png) [@county](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/county)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2003, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-jews-time-to-hire-a-lawyer/196853/50 "2003-08-24T03:06:42Z")
Well, lets just let bygones be bygones. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2003, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-jews-time-to-hire-a-lawyer/196853/51 "2003-08-24T03:50:03Z")
Yeah! What **county** said. Besides, when the **S** elf **P** roclaimed **O** verlord **OF** **E** arth (Bo Diddly) comes back, all our asses are grasses anyways. ---
**Author:** ![eunoia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eunoia/32/97_2.png) [@eunoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eunoia)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2003, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-jews-time-to-hire-a-lawyer/196853/52 "2003-08-24T20:44:18Z")
Where the hell’s my lemon zester? I’m pretty sure I had a French whisk and melon baller at some point too. The Jews! Yeah, that’s it, must be the Jews. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-jews-time-to-hire-a-lawyer/196853/53 "2003-08-25T00:28:42Z")
I would love to see the adaptation of this court case, by Mel Brooks. Oy! ---
**Author:** ![look\_ninjas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@look\_ninjas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/look_ninjas)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-jews-time-to-hire-a-lawyer/196853/54 "2003-08-25T01:06:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Creative\_Munster \* > \*\*Are you implying that he must be immature to start a thread about this? I think I must be missing something here. \*\* I think the implication is that **Zev** was around for the actual taking of the gold, Exodus, etc. itself. Which would make him pretty darn old. But as far as I’m concerned, he doesn’t look a day over a thousand. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-jews-time-to-hire-a-lawyer/196853/55 "2003-08-25T05:09:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Creative\_Munster \* > \*\*Are you implying that he must be immature to start a thread about this? I think I must be missing something here. \*\* Nopers. I was making light of the fact that Nabil Hilmi was preparing a lawsuit against current, living Jews for something that may or may not have happened thousands of years ago. I’m pretty sure that none of 2003’s Jews were alive back then. But then again, I’ve also never seen what the number of candles look like on **Zev** ’s birthday cakes. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-jews-time-to-hire-a-lawyer/196853/56 "2003-08-25T05:10:40Z")
… or, what **look!ninjas** said. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-jews-time-to-hire-a-lawyer/196853/57 "2003-08-25T08:21:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Malthus \* > \*\*Actually, it was one of the Banda Islands, to cement the Dutch monopoly on nutmeg. > > Source: “Nathaniel’s Nutmeg”. > > It seemed like a good trade at the time … 😃 \*\* Well, yes and no. We took the Asian island of Run from the British, thus stealing the nutmeg monopoly. We murdered one of their most famous military leaders at the time in the process, so they got pissed off. In retaliation, they occupied Nieuw Amsterdam and dubbed it New York in 1664. The Dutch didn’t drop their _claims_ on Manhattan island, however, until the Brits offered Suriname as a “trade” in the [Treaty of Breda](http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Amsterdam) in 1673. So, from a Dutch perspective, NYC was ours until the Brits offered us Suriname for it - they just _occupied_ it for 7 years before we dropped our claims in exchange for Suriname. Anyways. Nutmeg and bauxite. It’s a frickin’ miracle we’re still on the _map_, let me tell you. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-jews-time-to-hire-a-lawyer/196853/58 "2003-08-25T08:23:46Z")
Errr, whoops. We dropped the claims in 16_67_ at the treaty of Breda, but briefly reoccupied New York in 1673, and then dropped it for good at the Treaty of Westminster that same year. I’d say it’s about time we try and occupy it again. Whaddayasay, New Yorkers? Legal pot for all! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boo_Boo_Foo)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-jews-time-to-hire-a-lawyer/196853/59 "2003-08-25T08:29:30Z")
Coldfire: New Yorkers, it seems to me, enjoy being anxious. It’s part of their natural psyche I rather think. Anything which would dissipate such a natural way of being wouldn’t go down to well I dare say. ---
**Author:** ![zev\_steinhardt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/97f17d/32.png) [@zev\_steinhardt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zev_steinhardt)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-jews-time-to-hire-a-lawyer/196853/60 "2003-08-25T12:43:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SkipMagic \* > \*\* > But then again, I’ve also never seen what the number of candles look like on **Zev** ’s birthday cakes. 🙂 \*\* Well, let’s just say that last year, it was only reported as a four-alarmer. Zev Steinhardt [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-jews-time-to-hire-a-lawyer/196853.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-jews-time-to-hire-a-lawyer/196853.md?page=4)