# Ok, Lets just \[i\]suppose\[/i\] there is such a thing as extra terrestrials... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 20, 2002, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-lets-just-i-suppose-i-there-is-such-a-thing-as-extra-terrestrials/137736 "2002-11-20T13:56:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Janx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Janx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Janx)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-lets-just-i-suppose-i-there-is-such-a-thing-as-extra-terrestrials/137736/1 "2002-11-20T13:56:23Z")
What in the heck would they want with us? I don’t necessarily disbelieve in UFO’s yet I have no proof they exist so I’m going to have to sit here on the fence. I don’t want to talk about conspiracy theories, black helicopters, cattle mutilation, or alien anal probes, (though we could open another thread on that if you like:D), I’m talking about your opinion on weather you believe this planet is being visited by others, and if so what you think they could possibly want with us. Thanx, Janx, ---
**Author:** ![Janx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Janx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Janx)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-lets-just-i-suppose-i-there-is-such-a-thing-as-extra-terrestrials/137736/2 "2002-11-20T13:57:31Z")
Sorry, I did not know VB is non functional in the title. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-lets-just-i-suppose-i-there-is-such-a-thing-as-extra-terrestrials/137736/3 "2002-11-20T14:03:12Z")
Intellectual curiosity? If we went to other planets and found life, I expect we’d study it. One hopes we’d observe and not just stomp on in. One further hopes if ETs came here, they’d do the same. Or they may just want to suck our brains out of our ears. ---
**Author:** ![Tuco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tuco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuco)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-lets-just-i-suppose-i-there-is-such-a-thing-as-extra-terrestrials/137736/4 "2002-11-20T14:10:21Z")
I imagine they would be explorers of some kind and would want to know how all the species on Earth live together, how we interact with each other, what we eat, etc., just like humans do to natural habitats in the wild on this planet. ---
**Author:** ![Janx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Janx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Janx)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-lets-just-i-suppose-i-there-is-such-a-thing-as-extra-terrestrials/137736/5 "2002-11-20T14:42:57Z")
Interesting points, do you suppose then that some of us earthlings could end up in alien zoos, just like that \*\*Twilight Zone \*\* episode? :eek: BTW \*\*FairyChatMom \*\* I wasn’t expecting such a contrast in possibilities as I read your answer, this: > [@](#): > > Or they may just want to suck our brains out of our ears. was so funny, the juxtaposition made milk shoot out my nose! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-lets-just-i-suppose-i-there-is-such-a-thing-as-extra-terrestrials/137736/6 "2002-11-20T14:47:32Z")
1. Interstellar “anthropology” – how do cultures develop in different circumstances, with different biology, etc. 2. Trade. Of course, considering the distances involved and the time/energy required transport stuff, it would have to be impressively valuable stuff to trade. I suggest ideas, artwork, and other such “intellectual” property. 3. A good bite to eat. Of course, trading or even stealing distances over such long distances wouldn’t be profitable under most circumstances (“Damn – Human Brains taste so GOOOOD! But I’ll be damned if I’ll pay 42,000 quatloos per pound for them!”) One possible solution if the aliens want to eat us – read Larry Niven’s story “Assimilating Our Culture, That’s What They’re Doing!” ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-lets-just-i-suppose-i-there-is-such-a-thing-as-extra-terrestrials/137736/7 "2002-11-20T14:55:03Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Janx_\*\* > BTW FairyChatMom > > I wasn’t expecting such a contrast in possibilities as I read your answer, this:\*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > Or they may just want to suck our brains out of our ears. > > **was so funny, the juxtaposition made milk shoot out my nose!** Hey, try hot coffee shootin out yer nostrils. ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-lets-just-i-suppose-i-there-is-such-a-thing-as-extra-terrestrials/137736/8 "2002-11-20T19:21:59Z")
Maybe they just like messing about in cornfields. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-lets-just-i-suppose-i-there-is-such-a-thing-as-extra-terrestrials/137736/9 "2002-11-20T19:48:30Z")
_It’s a COOOOKBOOOOOK. . . ._ ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-lets-just-i-suppose-i-there-is-such-a-thing-as-extra-terrestrials/137736/10 "2002-11-20T19:56:35Z")
would our asses be roasts? would children be veal? would our legs be drumsticks? (I bet we don’t taste like chicken, more like caribou…) [Dr. Lector] pht pht pht pht pht… [/Dr. Lector] ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-lets-just-i-suppose-i-there-is-such-a-thing-as-extra-terrestrials/137736/11 "2002-11-20T20:28:24Z")
Well, trade seems unlikely. The distance involved are just too great. Perhaps Earth is one of the few Class M Planets in the quadrant. Maybe they need a truck stop with clean restrooms. From a military point of view they would certainly be gathering intelligence on us. They would need to make sure would not be a threat to their homeworld. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-lets-just-i-suppose-i-there-is-such-a-thing-as-extra-terrestrials/137736/12 "2002-11-20T21:22:41Z")
Apologies to the recently irrigated nasal passages… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-lets-just-i-suppose-i-there-is-such-a-thing-as-extra-terrestrials/137736/13 "2002-11-20T21:55:19Z")
Maybe they’d be missionaries trying to convert humans to their religion. “Bow down before the Great Green Arkleseizure!” ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-lets-just-i-suppose-i-there-is-such-a-thing-as-extra-terrestrials/137736/14 "2002-11-20T22:00:16Z")
or looking for spray deoderants ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-lets-just-i-suppose-i-there-is-such-a-thing-as-extra-terrestrials/137736/15 "2002-11-20T22:43:18Z")
They could need a convenient call on their way to some more important place in the galaxy : “we’re going to make a two-days stop over on earth in order to refill” “I’ve been told that Earth is an incredibly boring place?” “Sure, but did you ever taste their brains? Yummm…” ---
**Author:** ![Hanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b3f665/32.png) [@Hanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hanna)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-lets-just-i-suppose-i-there-is-such-a-thing-as-extra-terrestrials/137736/16 "2002-11-20T22:55:21Z")
I think that if ETs are advanced enough to get here, we would be boring to them (“look at those cute little internal combustion engines…and those little bombs they have. Don’t they remind you of the fireworks we used to buy for ET jr when he was young?”). But maybe they’ll think we make good pets. ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-lets-just-i-suppose-i-there-is-such-a-thing-as-extra-terrestrials/137736/17 "2002-11-20T23:02:24Z")
“To explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no aliens have gone before?” ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2002, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-lets-just-i-suppose-i-there-is-such-a-thing-as-extra-terrestrials/137736/18 "2002-11-21T00:34:13Z")
Maybe they’re just here to use the bathroom. “I told you to go before we left Vega! This planet is a shithole!” “But _Daaaaaaaads…_” “Okay, fine. But don’t let me catch you carving out a cow’s butthole.” ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2002, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-lets-just-i-suppose-i-there-is-such-a-thing-as-extra-terrestrials/137736/19 "2002-11-21T02:24:29Z")
Minor Spoiler “We shall keep Earth. It is too weird to destroy.” That fits my theory. Kang: You’re making this up! Kodos: No! The humans sometimes allow members of other species to live with them! And not as livestock or transport! They call them “pets”! Kang: And they insert their tongues in each other’s mouths as part of some sick mating ritual? Kodos: Yes! But, behold the fruit of the humans madness! This is the reason we have not destroyed their planet. For, they have produced the crowning glory of the cosmos! Look! Kang: It…it is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen! What is it? Kodos: The humans call it… a lava lamp. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2002, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-lets-just-i-suppose-i-there-is-such-a-thing-as-extra-terrestrials/137736/20 "2002-11-21T02:48:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CalMeacham \* > > 1. Interstellar “anthropology” – how do cultures develop in different circumstances, with different biology, etc. WE HAVE BEEN WATCHING YOUR PLANET SINCE ITS CREATION…5000 YEARS AGO…BY GOD! > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CalMeacham \* > 2. Trade. Of course, considering the distances involved and the time/energy required transport stuff, it would have to be impressively valuable stuff to trade. I suggest ideas, artwork, and other such “intellectual” property. Interesting but aliens that evolved on a completely diferent planet would be so unlike us, our intellectual property would be as interesting to them as the intellectual property of a baboon is to us humans. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CalMeacham \* > 3. A good bite to eat. Of course, trading or even stealing distances over such long distances wouldn’t be profitable under most circumstances (“Damn – Human Brains taste so GOOOOD! But I’ll be damned if I’ll pay 42,000 quatloos per pound for them!”) One possible solution if the aliens want to eat us – read Larry Niven’s story “Assimilating Our Culture, That’s What They’re Doing!” \*\* Once again…completely diferent evolutionary track. Unless there is some universal similarity in all life, would any organisms on this planet even be edible to little green men? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-lets-just-i-suppose-i-there-is-such-a-thing-as-extra-terrestrials/137736.md?page=2)