# Ok, maybe I should not have said that, but... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 12, 2017, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-maybe-i-should-not-have-said-that-but/796126 "2017-09-12T01:58:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2017, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-maybe-i-should-not-have-said-that-but/796126/41 "2017-09-13T17:56:42Z")
Ya’ll shittin’ all over this thread. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2017, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-maybe-i-should-not-have-said-that-but/796126/42 "2017-09-13T19:02:42Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > …I chimed in “Nice tattoo” to the nurse. She looked at me and said “what tattoo?”. I said, “the one of the flower on your hip”. Well that floored her because she DID have a flower tattoo on her hip and she wondered how I knew (I just guessed) and we all had a good chuckle… Reminds of the time when I was home, reading a book late on a Friday night when my next door neighbor’s wife knocked on my door. I let her in, and she dropped the coat she was wearing only to reveal that she was buck naked underneath. Well, I had no idea what to do at that point, so… ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2017, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-maybe-i-should-not-have-said-that-but/796126/43 "2017-09-13T20:15:44Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > This. > And this. > > Sure, the women laughed. Because if they don’t laugh, the asshole who went there would usually follow up with “what’s the matter, I complimented you!” or that old favorite, “can’t you take a joke?” and then go on at length about what uptight, humorless, frigid bitches they were. No, if they would have acted the least bit offended I would have apologized big time. And yes I can tell the difference and I do know when to not cross the line. As I said I used to work in an ER at night and people can get kind of silly. It was a slow night and I could tell they were in a relaxed mood. You people learn to lighten up a bit. As I said this thread is when sometimes in a situation we might say something off color because… well… humans do things like that. Especially if its on the night shift. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2017, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-maybe-i-should-not-have-said-that-but/796126/44 "2017-09-13T20:17:14Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > So I’m sitting with my grandmother in the hospice. Nurse comes in to change the bag from her catheter, and makes some comment about needing to be careful because she didn’t want to get a face full of pee. > > Here is the point where you are thinking I made some crude comment about watersports. Nope. _She_ did. After a pause, she said something about how she had heard that some people were into that, but she wasn’t. Of course the comment had crossed my mind, but I didn’t expect _her_ to go there. > > I wonder if–moments later–she was thinking “oh, crap, did I really say that?” Nurses can be rather silly on occasion. I think its how they get thru the rough times. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2017, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-maybe-i-should-not-have-said-that-but/796126/45 "2017-09-13T20:45:16Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > Spend 12 years getting your doctorate degree and STILL get objectified. To be fair, women without doctorates don’t deserve it either, unless perhaps they are a stripper or prostitute. I don’t think that’s how you meant it, but the people who can’t tell the difference between professional and personal interactions don’t notice a degree. > [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Here is the point where you are thinking I made some crude comment about watersports. Nope. _She_ did. After a pause, she said something about how she had heard that some people were into that, but she wasn’t. Of course the comment had crossed my mind, but I didn’t expect _her_ to go there. “But was she _hot?_” [/dude] > [@RTFirefly](#): > > .Sure, the women laughed. Because if they don’t laugh, the asshole who went there would usually follow up with “what’s the matter, I complimented you!” or that old favorite, “can’t you take a joke?” and then go on at length about what uptight, humorless, frigid bitches they were. Yep, you nailed it. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2017, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-maybe-i-should-not-have-said-that-but/796126/46 "2017-09-13T21:02:21Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > I can tell the difference and I do know when to not cross the line. You went several miles past the line, a large group of people are telling you that you crossed the line, and yet you’re still insisting you didn’t do anything wrong. So it’s pretty clear that you can’t tell when you cross the line. ---
**Author:** ![snoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@snoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snoe)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2017, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-maybe-i-should-not-have-said-that-but/796126/47 "2017-09-13T21:21:43Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > No, if they would have acted the least bit offended I would have apologized big time. And yes I can tell the difference and I do know when to not cross the line. > > As I said I used to work in an ER at night and people can get kind of silly. It was a slow night and I could tell they were in a relaxed mood. > > You people learn to lighten up a bit. As I said this thread is when sometimes in a situation we might say something off color because… well… humans do things like that. Especially if its on the night shift. Ask the people you said that to how they felt about it. No, scratch that – have someone else who is isn’t a patient/customer ask them. I seriously doubt it was as charming or innocent as you thought it was. And a third party would get told that, even though they humored you, their 4 AM relaxed mood patient. Look: you fucked up (IMO). That doesn’t make you a moral monster. We say cruel/stupid/racist/sexist/whateverist shit to each other all the time without meaning to cause harm. It happens. We’re none of us perfect. Just don’t try to defend it when a bunch of people call you out on it. You recognize it was broadly speaking inappropriate – that’s clear from the thread title. Don’t beat yourself up, but don’t take this experience as a lesson that it’s okay to do this again, either. ---
**Author:** ![snoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@snoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snoe)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2017, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-maybe-i-should-not-have-said-that-but/796126/48 "2017-09-13T21:32:01Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > So I’m sitting with my grandmother in the hospice. Nurse comes in to change the bag from her catheter, and makes some comment about needing to be careful because she didn’t want to get a face full of pee. > > Here is the point where you are thinking I made some crude comment about watersports. Nope. _She_ did. After a pause, she said something about how she had heard that some people were into that, but she wasn’t. Of course the comment had crossed my mind, but I didn’t expect _her_ to go there. > > I wonder if–moments later–she was thinking “oh, crap, did I really say that?” I don’t know if you realize it, but the way you tell this story it sure sounds like the nurse thought that YOU might be into having a face full of pee. Or seeing someone else have a face full of pee. Or maybe you were just amused by the possibility of a “watersports” joke. Perhaps when “the comment had crossed your mind” you communicated your amusement non-verbally? I don’t know, I wasn’t there. But maybe think back on why the nurse would’ve made that inappropriate comment. I’m guessing, one way or another, it was for your benefit, not your grandmother’s. (Although if grandma was a dirty old girl who’d dig a watersports joke, god bless her and the nurse.) ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2017, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-maybe-i-should-not-have-said-that-but/796126/49 "2017-09-13T21:35:52Z")
> [@snoe](#): > > I seriously doubt it was as charming or innocent as you thought it was. Yeah. Most people, for the sake of civility, will not call you to your face when you say stupid or rude things. Instead, they will just laugh it off much like the ladies did in the OP. An unfortunate side effect of this is, some socially clueless people seem to think: “Well, they didn’t get angry, so they must have enjoyed it.” ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2017, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-maybe-i-should-not-have-said-that-but/796126/50 "2017-09-13T22:08:35Z")
> [@snoe](#): > > I’m guessing, one way or another, it was for your benefit, not your grandmother’s. Since she was in a coma, that’s probably a pretty good guess. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2017, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-maybe-i-should-not-have-said-that-but/796126/51 "2017-09-13T22:19:55Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > No, if they would have acted the least bit offended I would have apologized big time. And yes I can tell the difference and I do know when to not cross the line. No, you don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2017, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-maybe-i-should-not-have-said-that-but/796126/52 "2017-09-13T22:37:34Z")
My FIL was very crude …he would say the most inappropriately rude and disgusting things to anybody…when he became sick and bedridden we could not keep nurses aides or home help of any kind …the aides never lasted a whole week…so we had to put him in a nursing home…who complained to us all the time about him…we talked and scolded him over and over…to no avail…eventually he slipped into a coma…and subsequently died…my husband was just mortified…I think he died really from a lack of of proper care…no one wanted to help him. …or be in the room with him…so here’s a warning guys…it can bite you in the ass,this bad behavior is not so innocent!! ---
**Author:** ![Pantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@Pantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantastic)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2017, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-maybe-i-should-not-have-said-that-but/796126/53 "2017-09-14T00:11:26Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > Yeah. Most people, for the sake of civility, will not call you to your face when you say stupid or rude things. Instead, they will just laugh it off much like the ladies did in the OP. It’s not just civility at work here, it’s targetting a victim at work where who can get in trouble for calling out a ‘customer’ on atrocious behavior. When someone is required to be polite to you in order to secure their paycheck, presuming that they must really like your obnoxious behavior is grossly unrealistic. That’s a big part of why hitting on and harassing people in their workplace is exceptionally gross. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2017, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-maybe-i-should-not-have-said-that-but/796126/54 "2017-09-14T00:53:53Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > No, if they would have acted the least bit offended I would have apologized big time. And yes I can tell the difference and I do know when to not cross the line. This has not been my experience with you here on the SDMB. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-maybe-i-should-not-have-said-that-but/796126.md?page=2)