# Ok, now I have heard just about everything...(excuses for absenteeism) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 8, 2009, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-now-i-have-heard-just-about-everything-excuses-for-absenteeism/492429 "2009-04-08T20:44:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-now-i-have-heard-just-about-everything-excuses-for-absenteeism/492429/41 "2009-04-09T12:34:22Z")
> [@AuntiePam](#): > > We had a phone-in line for reporting absences. For awhile, it was part of my job to listen to the messages. > > The best one was “I’m gonna be late. There’s a dead guy in my car.” > > It was true. A friend of the employee’s son had snuck into their garage in the night, turned the car on to get warm and died of carbon monoxide poisoning. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-now-i-have-heard-just-about-everything-excuses-for-absenteeism/492429/42 "2009-04-09T13:25:49Z")
I sometimes clock on on the far side of our floor and then ring my boss from there with a ridiculous excuse for not coming/being late though I am of course there. Ones I have used lately include: On the way to work I saw a pregnant woman pushing her mother in a wheelchair. They were being attacked by a bikie gang. I stopped to rescue them. There were about 10 bikies. No I’m not injured but my knuckles are too sore for any typing. Some of those guys can really take a punch. Woke up to discover dream of cannibals eating my leg not actually dream. Forgot to take my lunch out of the fridge. At this rate will take me another hour to get the fridge there. Received letter from Reader’s Digest saying I may have **already** won $2,000,000. Am staying home until they decide. Took your advice about “the early bird catches the worm” and got up early but I now wonder whether I may not be the early worm. Haven’t fooled him yet in years of trying. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-now-i-have-heard-just-about-everything-excuses-for-absenteeism/492429/43 "2009-04-09T13:28:43Z")
I, too, took the day off when we put our dog to sleep, as did my husband. But I had 18 years of perfect attendance before I took my first sick day, and I came back to work after I had my wisdom teeth out, with my mouth stuffed full of cotton. I had one woman who hated Mondays. I was in charge of keeping attendance and one year showed her boss that she had called off sick 19 Mondays that year – in addition to those she had scheduled off for vacation. She usually claimed she had sinus problems, but I think she was hung over. This same woman had, upon hire, negotiated a 3:30 lunch, which meant she got back to the office at 4:30, “worked” until 5 and then left. The reason for her late lunch was so she could go pick up her son at school and take him home so he wouldn’t get into trouble. The son was at least 12 when she got hired, but apparently couldn’t be trusted to get from Point A to Point B without holding up a liquor store or falling under the spell of a gang. Even after he left school – I’m pretty sure he never graduated – she kept the same hours. Why change a good thing? ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-now-i-have-heard-just-about-everything-excuses-for-absenteeism/492429/44 "2009-04-09T14:11:11Z")
My company doesn’t offer sick days anymore. I think it was a great decision. We have one pool of “paid time off” hours. If you don’t use them for being sick, then they’re yours for vacation. They basically gave all of us an extra week of available time off. For those of us that aren’t sick it’s equal to an extra week of vacation. Now I realize that some, if not most, of the posts above are probably for people that don’t get sick pay anyway, but still… Oh, and to top it off, I’m allowed to work from home when I’m not feeling well, but I’m still able to work. That’s nice because a) I don’t have to take a day off every time I don’t feel well, and 2) I don’t have to get everybody else sick by being too stubborn to use my PTO days for anything other than my vacation time. ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-now-i-have-heard-just-about-everything-excuses-for-absenteeism/492429/45 "2009-04-09T15:53:09Z")
> [@Enright3](#): > > My company doesn’t offer sick days anymore. I think it was a great decision. We have one pool of “paid time off” hours. If you don’t use them for being sick, then they’re yours for vacation. They basically gave all of us an extra week of available time off. For those of us that aren’t sick it’s equal to an extra week of vacation. Those are awful policies. Flip it around for the people who do have to take sick days, either for their own sickness or because they have small children who get sick. Suddenly they have no vacation because they had to use it for sick days. It’s also disincentive for people to actually stay the hell home when they’re sick. I’d rather my coworker with the awful cold stay home; instead, he/she comes in because now they have an extra vacation day. Sick days should be sick days; vacation is something different. ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-now-i-have-heard-just-about-everything-excuses-for-absenteeism/492429/46 "2009-04-09T16:33:53Z")
Muffin I am in the same city as you. And the hilarious thing is the employee herself doesn’t work Sundays, because she has to do community service. Can the caldron act as sureity for the kettle? ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-now-i-have-heard-just-about-everything-excuses-for-absenteeism/492429/47 "2009-04-09T16:45:02Z")
> [@Athena](#): > > Those are awful policies. Flip it around for the people who do have to take sick days, either for their own sickness or because they have small children who get sick. Suddenly they have no vacation because they had to use it for sick days. I sympathize, but as someone who is childless by choice, I really have no problem at all with a system that doesn’t show any additional favoritism toward people just because they chose to reproduce. Between FMLA and sometimes-required scheduling shuffles because someone’s little one has a recital, I think parents get more than enough perks in the workplace. But that’s really a whole other thread, I’m sure. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-now-i-have-heard-just-about-everything-excuses-for-absenteeism/492429/48 "2009-04-09T17:06:16Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > I took a day off from work the day the vet told me my dog was sick with something that wouldn’t get better, and then another day off the day we put him down over a year later. You’re tough as nails compared to me. I worked from home one day because I needed to follow the dog around and make sure he pooped out the toy he ate. But I did work from home. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-now-i-have-heard-just-about-everything-excuses-for-absenteeism/492429/49 "2009-04-09T17:43:34Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > I worked from home one day because I needed to follow the dog around and make sure he pooped out the toy he ate. > > But I did work from home. LOL. I stayed home from work one day because the air conditioning was out and I wanted to make sure the puppy (same dog mentioned above, just 11 years younger) didn’t over heat. I’m almost certain it was the day John Candy died. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-now-i-have-heard-just-about-everything-excuses-for-absenteeism/492429/50 "2009-04-09T17:49:37Z")
> [@Athena](#): > > Those are awful policies. Flip it around for the people who do have to take sick days, either for their own sickness or because they have small children who get sick. Suddenly they have no vacation because they had to use it for sick days. > > It’s also disincentive for people to actually stay the hell home when they’re sick. I’d rather my coworker with the awful cold stay home; instead, he/she comes in because now they have an extra vacation day. > > Sick days should be sick days; vacation is something different. Where I work, if you took that many sick days in a year such that you used up your allotment of all PTO days, you’d either have to have been hospitalized (and we do have short and long-term leave of absence for very extended illness, which is separate from PTO - not to mention the FMLA), or your supervisor would have a very worried talk with you about how terrible your/your family’s health has been. In fact, I’m home today because last pay period I lost an hour and a half of time off because I hadn’t taken enough (our accumulated PTO has a maximum ceiling), and our department administrator called me up and highly encouraged me to take a day off this week, to prevent further loss. It works for places that give enough PTO. ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-now-i-have-heard-just-about-everything-excuses-for-absenteeism/492429/51 "2009-04-09T18:07:17Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > I sympathize, but as someone who is childless by choice, I really have no problem at all with a system that doesn’t show any additional favoritism toward people just because they chose to reproduce. Between FMLA and sometimes-required scheduling shuffles because someone’s little one has a recital, I think parents get more than enough perks in the workplace. But that’s really a whole other thread, I’m sure. I am childless by choice as well. But I also get sick at times, and I resent knowing that every sick day I take is one less vacation day I get to take. But even more I resent when my coworkers came in with their miserable colds and flus because they also wanted to preserve their vacation days. [QUOTE=Ferret Herder] It works for places that give enough PTO. [/QUOTE] True. My experience with these kinds of policies has usually been at places who think that 15 days of PTO per year was more than enough time for sick days, mental health days, and vacation days. To me, that’s a bare minimum of vacation time per year. The best place I worked was a pretty large software company whose sick day policy was “whatever you need.” Abuse was contained via your manager - if he/she thought the sick days were getting to be a problem, he could limit them. Nobody at my location abused the policy, and we were all much happier for it. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-now-i-have-heard-just-about-everything-excuses-for-absenteeism/492429/52 "2009-04-09T18:18:23Z")
> [@Athena](#): > > Those are awful policies. Flip it around for the people who do have to take sick days, either for their own sickness or because they have small children who get sick. Suddenly they have no vacation because they had to use it for sick days. > > It’s also disincentive for people to actually stay the hell home when they’re sick. I’d rather my coworker with the awful cold stay home; instead, he/she comes in because now they have an extra vacation day. > > Sick days should be sick days; vacation is something different. I think it depends on how you are allowed to accumulate your PTO hours. If you can accumulate from year to year, you can save up as much sick time as you might need for actual illnesses. If you get 5 sick days per year (as we do) and you use all of them up and more, you’re going to be using up vacation time anyway or else be on unpaid sick time. I wish we had PTO here. I’m off sick maybe one or two days per year, and I have accumulated about 4 months worth of sick time that I will (I hope) never use, and which I will lose when I leave or retire. It would have been nice to have been able to use that as vacation time over the years, even if I wouldn’t be allowed to take it as a lump sum when I leave. Roddy ---
**Author:** ![Black\_Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ce73a5/32.png) [@Black\_Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Black_Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-now-i-have-heard-just-about-everything-excuses-for-absenteeism/492429/53 "2009-04-09T18:29:01Z")
I had a co-worker come in one morning, then tell the boss she had to go home because she’d done some acid the day before and was still tripping. ---
**Author:** ![RiverRunner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/977dab/32.png) [@RiverRunner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RiverRunner)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-now-i-have-heard-just-about-everything-excuses-for-absenteeism/492429/54 "2009-04-09T18:40:02Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > I sometimes clock on on the far side of our floor and then ring my boss from there with a ridiculous excuse for not coming/being late though I am of course there. Ones I have used lately include: > > On the way to work I saw a pregnant woman pushing her mother in a wheelchair. They were being attacked by a bikie gang. I stopped to rescue them. There were about 10 bikies. No I’m not injured but my knuckles are too sore for any typing. Some of those guys can really take a punch. > > Woke up to discover dream of cannibals eating my leg not actually dream. > > Forgot to take my lunch out of the fridge. At this rate will take me another hour to get the fridge there. > > Received letter from Reader’s Digest saying I may have **already** won $2,000,000. Am staying home until they decide. > > Took your advice about “the early bird catches the worm” and got up early but I now wonder whether I may not be the early worm. > > Haven’t fooled him yet in years of trying. Those are all golden. > [@Athena](#): > > Those are awful policies. Flip it around for the people who do have to take sick days, either for their own sickness or because they have small children who get sick. Suddenly they have no vacation because they had to use it for sick days. > > It’s also disincentive for people to actually stay the hell home when they’re sick. I’d rather my coworker with the awful cold stay home; instead, he/she comes in because now they have an extra vacation day. > > Sick days should be sick days; vacation is something different. Speaking as a guy with a small child, I can’t agree with you there. I like the PTO system here so much I view it as a benefit. RR ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-now-i-have-heard-just-about-everything-excuses-for-absenteeism/492429/55 "2009-04-09T19:01:42Z")
> [@RiverRunner](#): > > Speaking as a guy with a small child, I can’t agree with you there. I like the PTO system here so much I view it as a benefit. I currently work for a “fifteen + days of vacation, as much sick time as you need - managers responsible for reasonableness” company. That’s the best situation for my personal needs - when I had surgery, when my daughter had constant ear infections - I just took time. I’m not sure its “fairest” - those of us with kids - people with health probelms - they get more days off - but we are salaried - so you still need to get the work done. I’ve worked for the “PTO” and the “Vacation separate from sick days” company. If a company is going to dole out your sick days, I’d rather have them be PTO. ---
**Author:** ![Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glory)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-now-i-have-heard-just-about-everything-excuses-for-absenteeism/492429/56 "2009-04-09T19:34:33Z")
I hate the PTO policy. I get 15 days total. I am rarely ill but this year I got hit with mono and a terrible sinus infection. I wasn’t actually sick all 15 days. My company forces us to take vacation days. So far this year we’ve had 2 mandatory 5 day shut downs. 5 days over Christmas, 5 days in February. So, now I’m out of days already for the year (since I have to save a few forced vacation days for the December shut down, otherwise, they’ll “borrow” from the next year). No vacation for me or mental health days for me for the rest of the year. And it’s only March. With all the forced vacation time, I’ll never be able to accrue days from year to year to have a cushion of days saved up. My old company had a much more generous vacation policy - 3 weeks vacation, 2 weeks sick, 2 floating holidays. God, I miss it. Of course, in this economy, I remind myself I’m lucky to even be employed. ---
**Author:** ![Atomicflea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/58956e/32.png) [@Atomicflea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomicflea)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-now-i-have-heard-just-about-everything-excuses-for-absenteeism/492429/57 "2009-04-09T19:38:05Z")
Some classic ones: 1. It snowed, and I don’t go out in the snow. 2. Parking is full, so I’m just going home. We have both sick days and vacation/PTO here. Your first three days sick are PTO, then the fourth counts as sick and so on. This is meant to keep folks that call in sick for personal errands and such to a minimum. After 5 unexcused calloffs a year, it affects your annual review and you might not make the standard for a raise. Of course if you come down with a serious illness, FMLA covers you for 12 weeks a year, but you have to turn in the paperwork and have it verified. As a boss, it’s damned frustrating that some folks always have a sob story about calling off. I got to the point where I said “I don’t need to know. Bring me a note from the MD or the school, anything else is unexcused.” Now that I’m a hardass at least I have better attendance. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-now-i-have-heard-just-about-everything-excuses-for-absenteeism/492429/58 "2009-04-09T19:39:39Z")
> [@Atomicflea](#): > > Some classic ones: > > 1. It snowed, and I don’t go out in the snow. My ex-husband used to say, “I don’t work when the temperature is lower than my age.” ---
**Author:** ![Atomicflea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/58956e/32.png) [@Atomicflea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomicflea)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-now-i-have-heard-just-about-everything-excuses-for-absenteeism/492429/59 "2009-04-09T19:44:39Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > My ex-husband used to say, “I don’t work when the temperature is lower than my age.” People’s work ethics are just incomprehensible to me. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-now-i-have-heard-just-about-everything-excuses-for-absenteeism/492429/60 "2009-04-09T19:46:29Z")
My ex-husband’s work ethic (specifically, lack thereof) has amazed many. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-now-i-have-heard-just-about-everything-excuses-for-absenteeism/492429.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-now-i-have-heard-just-about-everything-excuses-for-absenteeism/492429.md?page=4)