# OK Say I am a Zillionaire **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 23, 2003, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-say-i-am-a-zillionaire/177002 "2003-05-23T10:37:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-say-i-am-a-zillionaire/177002/1 "2003-05-23T10:37:00Z")
I read in the British press some time ago that Prince Charles (“Chuck” to us fellow zillionaires) has a staff of 65 full-timers. The guy likes to be fussed over and can afford it. None of my business. Still the press went wild about it and claimed the number was quite excessive. Well I intend to be a zillionaire one day. It is never too soon to start planning on staffing requirements. Money is no object. My professional staff (speechwriter, accountants) don’t count. How many people would I need to keep me in the style of a zillionaire? Assume only one household staff. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-say-i-am-a-zillionaire/177002/2 "2003-05-23T10:42:02Z")
Let me reply to my own OP. 1 Butler (now called a Household Manager) 2 Cooks (need two to have someone on duty most of the night) 1 Assistant cook 2 maids 2 grooms (again to have somebody on duty) 2 secretaries 3 bodyguards 2 gardeners 2 drivers 1 mechanic (for my hobby cars) 2 stablehands/assistant gardeners 1 handyman/electrican Gee that is only 18. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-say-i-am-a-zillionaire/177002/3 "2003-05-23T10:49:01Z")
I dunno, it’s all professional staff when you get down to it. Still… Photographer. Gopher/Personal Assistant. Driver. Bodyguards… one to four. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-say-i-am-a-zillionaire/177002/4 "2003-05-23T10:56:16Z")
Wouldn’t a far whack of a percentage of those 65 staff members be associated with the running of the [Duchy of Cornwall?](http://www.princeofwales.gov.uk/about/duchy/) ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-say-i-am-a-zillionaire/177002/5 "2003-05-23T11:00:46Z")
I’d hazard that this is more an an IMHo than a GQ, but If I may take some from your list: > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Paul in Saudi \* > \*\*1 Butler (now called a Household Manager) > 2 Cooks (need two to have someone on duty most of the night) > 1 Assistant cook > 2 maids > 3 bodyguards > 2 drivers > \*\* 1 Butler? And when he’s on holdiay, what do you do? You’re a zillionaire, so 3 bodyguards will never provide the full time protection you’ll need. 3 on at any time, 7 days a week, 24 hours a day…figuring on 9 hour shifts (1/2 hour handover periods at each end) you’ll need 3 shifts, and with time off and holidays that’s going to be 18 people. You’ll need more than 2 cooks - you’re a zillionaire, entertain like one. Full kitchen staff, plus porters, dishwashers and so on, has to be more like 10 people 2 maids? Again, you have a zillionaires mansion, and lord knows how many house guests. Think of a small hotel in terms of staffing. 2 drivers - sure, but how about your yach captain, your helicopter pilot, and various staff. In short, I could see Charles figure being arrived at pretty quickly. ---
**Author:** ![Futile\_Gesture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f05b48/32.png) [@Futile\_Gesture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Futile_Gesture)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-say-i-am-a-zillionaire/177002/6 "2003-05-23T11:58:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ice Wolf \* > \*\*Wouldn’t a far whack of a percentage of those 65 staff members be associated with the running of the [Duchy of Cornwall?](http://www.princeofwales.gov.uk/about/duchy/) \*\* Exactly. They’re not all employed to serve his personal needs, he does in effect run a “company”. ---
**Author:** ![WotNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@WotNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WotNot)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-say-i-am-a-zillionaire/177002/7 "2003-05-23T12:02:01Z")
I would have expected the well-dressed millionaire to have at least one valet, but perhaps I’m out of touch. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-say-i-am-a-zillionaire/177002/8 "2003-05-23T12:59:48Z")
You need a [“Yes Man”.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/member.php?action=getinfo&find=lastposter&threadid=185601) ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-say-i-am-a-zillionaire/177002/9 "2003-05-23T13:07:41Z")
Um, hello? Where’s your harem? ---
**Author:** ![aahala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e4f/32.png) [@aahala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aahala)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-say-i-am-a-zillionaire/177002/10 "2003-05-23T13:25:03Z")
If you’re a zillioniare, you wouldn’t need a driver or a car for that matter. The places can come to you. ---
**Author:** ![brainfizz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/da6949/32.png) [@brainfizz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brainfizz)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-say-i-am-a-zillionaire/177002/11 "2003-05-23T13:25:10Z")
You forgot the concubines! Never forget the concubines! I forgot mine once and goodness knows where they’ve ended up! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-say-i-am-a-zillionaire/177002/12 "2003-05-23T14:43:15Z")
Personal shopper? If you want to live like a pop star, vis-a-vis “MTV’s Cribs”-style conspicuous consumption, you’ll need a sneaker pimp. Obviously, if your tastes extend to the usual vices, you’ll need procurers for those. You’ll need a wine steward. If you’re concerned for your health and body image, you’ll need a personal trainer/yoga instructor/Pilates instructor/body building expert/martial arts instructor/masseuse (easily 3-4 different people). If you have mortal enemies, you might want to employ a food taster. Supposedly, Saddam Hussein had one. And won’t you need 24/7 security staffers (those guys monitoring your huge estate’s comprehensive closed-circuit cameras) in a surveillance center? One more thing… if you have any “James Bond villain”-style Evil Overlord ambitions, you’ll need to browbeat all your staffers into wearing some kind of silly-looking uniform, like Orange Day-Glo jumpsuits, or space-age Nehru jackets, or something. _Ah, it’s good to be the king!_ ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-say-i-am-a-zillionaire/177002/13 "2003-05-23T14:53:50Z")
I thought the correct term for a valet was groom. That’s what I meant, someone to hold my underwear while I step into them. A nurse in the house would be nice, but really extravagant. I presume for big parties we would simply bring in a caterer. (Obviously I will have trouble adjusting to being a zillionaire, still I am willing to make the lifestyle changes necessary.) Perhaps a servant to handle my long-haired white cat. “SO Meester Bond, before I keeel you, let me tell you my secret plan…” ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-say-i-am-a-zillionaire/177002/14 "2003-05-23T14:54:43Z")
Doctor. Lawyer. Accountant. Masseuse (2). Tailor. Media flack. Body double. ---
**Author:** ![bibliophage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bibliophage/32/7615_2.png) [@bibliophage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophage)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-say-i-am-a-zillionaire/177002/15 "2003-05-23T14:56:01Z")
Off to IMHO. bibliophage moderator GQ ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-say-i-am-a-zillionaire/177002/16 "2003-05-23T15:00:46Z")
You’ll need a business manager (and probably at least one assistant), you’ll need a booker to handle your scheduling needs (and keep you from being innundated with invitations), a media consultant to handle those pesky tabloids. And certainly you’ll need a crew for your private jet. ---
**Author:** ![kniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@kniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kniz)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-say-i-am-a-zillionaire/177002/17 "2003-05-23T15:59:33Z")
Will you be a bachelor zillionaire? :eek: [sup] **This could make a big difference!** [/sup] ---
**Author:** ![Zunite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/51bf81/32.png) [@Zunite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zunite)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-say-i-am-a-zillionaire/177002/18 "2003-05-23T16:05:17Z")
Don’t forget your team of scientists to keep you one step ahead of your enemies. ---
**Author:** ![stolichnaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bcef8e/32.png) [@stolichnaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolichnaya)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-say-i-am-a-zillionaire/177002/19 "2003-05-23T16:11:48Z")
Are “Thugs” included under “Bodyguards”? I think not. Harpist Rose-Petal Throwers (3) Jester Magician Propagandist Horse Trainer Chimney Sweep Tailor ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-say-i-am-a-zillionaire/177002/20 "2003-05-23T16:23:49Z")
Don’t be a cheap-o like that Howard Huges guy and hire yourself a professional toe-nail clipper. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-say-i-am-a-zillionaire/177002.md?page=2)