# Ok, so a nun walks into an optometrist.... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 6, 2001, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-a-nun-walks-into-an-optometrist/91860 "2001-11-06T21:15:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Macro\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Macro\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macro_Man)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-a-nun-walks-into-an-optometrist/91860/1 "2001-11-06T21:15:20Z")
So I’m thumbing through all 100+ of my cable channels, looking for something good on the ole idiot box. Get to channel 98, and I nearly jump through the roof! There, looking back at me (sort of) is the meanest-looking, wrinkliest, oldest nun, in the full habit get-up, yelling something at me. As if this isn’t a scary enough sight when you’re not expecting it, the damn woman has a full, pirate-esque, eye patch! Great googley moogley, that woman’s a sight!!! Is this something unique to Dallas, or is she nationwide? Now I’m sure someone will come back at me with some sad story about this woman, and how she lost her eye to cancer, running with scissors, etc., and I truly sympathize. But damn, woman, how about a career in radio, for Chrissake!!! \<\<\\>\>\> ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-a-nun-walks-into-an-optometrist/91860/2 "2001-11-06T21:47:44Z")
Perhaps you are seeing Mother Angelica? [http://www.ewtn.com/faith/mother\_angelica.htm](http://www.ewtn.com/faith/mother_angelica.htm) ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-a-nun-walks-into-an-optometrist/91860/3 "2001-11-06T22:01:16Z")
Ahh! Catholicism’s answer to televangelism. (With us, if you weren’t already on our side, _she’ll_ never lure you in!) Of course, she’s still mad that Pope John XXIII convened that council in Rome that let in all the silly stuff, so she does tend to come across as a bit ornery. ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-a-nun-walks-into-an-optometrist/91860/4 "2001-11-06T22:05:06Z")
I read the thread title and wondered if she apologized. 🙂 Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Macro\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Macro\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macro_Man)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-a-nun-walks-into-an-optometrist/91860/5 "2001-11-06T22:06:14Z")
Yup, that’s her. But she definitely was not smiling when I saw her. Plus she only had the one eye… ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-a-nun-walks-into-an-optometrist/91860/6 "2001-11-07T00:06:45Z")
I personally prefer that nun who does the painting show. Sister Wendy, right? “Fluffy pubic hair” indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-a-nun-walks-into-an-optometrist/91860/7 "2001-11-07T00:18:26Z")
Maybe the steel strip flew out of the ruler and blinded her. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-a-nun-walks-into-an-optometrist/91860/8 "2001-11-07T00:27:32Z")
I watched the episode with where it was an anniversary or something. They made her a cake, and she and this priest were throwing cake crumbs at each other and had icing all over their faces. It was pretty cool. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-a-nun-walks-into-an-optometrist/91860/9 "2001-11-07T00:31:46Z")
My husband stopped on her program momentarily - he thinks she had a stroke - that may or may not explain the eyepatch… ---
**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-a-nun-walks-into-an-optometrist/91860/10 "2001-11-07T06:07:26Z")
[http://www.bbcamerica.com/amusements/sister\_randy.html](http://www.bbcamerica.com/amusements/sister_randy.html) ---
**Author:** ![schplebordnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@schplebordnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/schplebordnik)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-a-nun-walks-into-an-optometrist/91860/11 "2001-11-07T07:01:15Z")
Well, you don’t have to be particularly telegenic to get into religious broadcasting. For Lord’s sake, has anyone watched TBN? Quite the freak show. There’s Jan Crouch, who makes Tammy Faye Bakker look like a natural woman: [http://www.tbn.org/about/newsletter/0111/011101.htm](http://www.tbn.org/about/newsletter/0111/011101.htm) Benny Hinn, wonder what God has to say about that elaborate comb-over: [http://www.bennyhinn.org/television.asp](http://www.bennyhinn.org/television.asp) Bob Larson, ditto, on the horrible plug job: [http://www.boblarson.org/BobsBio/bobsbio.html](http://www.boblarson.org/BobsBio/bobsbio.html) And then there’s that burn-victim guy (can’t find him on the TBN site). To say nothing of that hideous, hideous set… ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-a-nun-walks-into-an-optometrist/91860/12 "2001-11-07T07:06:44Z")
AAAHHHHHH!!! [http://members.tripod.com/~anxietyny/crouches.jpg](http://members.tripod.com/~anxietyny/crouches.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![schplebordnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@schplebordnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/schplebordnik)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-a-nun-walks-into-an-optometrist/91860/13 "2001-11-07T07:12:01Z")
Link don’t work, bro. Are you enough of a fan to ID the burn victim guy? Having said that, I have a hard time not watching Rod Parsley. That dude rocks! ---
**Author:** ![warmgun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecccb3/32.png) [@warmgun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/warmgun)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-a-nun-walks-into-an-optometrist/91860/14 "2001-11-07T07:44:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*I personally prefer that nun who does the painting show. Sister Wendy, right? “Fluffy pubic hair” indeed. \*\* I actually LOL at that. Indeed!! ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-a-nun-walks-into-an-optometrist/91860/15 "2001-11-07T13:17:27Z")
Opal, why is that woman wearing a (bad) wig on top of her other wig? ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-a-nun-walks-into-an-optometrist/91860/16 "2001-11-07T13:29:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Macro Man \* > \*\*Yup, that’s her. > > But she definitely was not smiling when I saw her. Plus she only had the one eye… \*\* Sometime in 2001 Mother A. suffered a stroke, with resulting hemiplegia – her “new look” is the result of facial paralysis, her L. eye may have been left permanently dilated (thus requiring it be covered) or pointing in a distracting direction. I had a great-aunt with the same condition. ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-a-nun-walks-into-an-optometrist/91860/17 "2001-11-07T13:32:27Z")
I must admit I have this weird fixation on Mother A. I was brought up in the traditional Catholic manner, went to a Catholic school for 1-8 where all the nuns looked like her, was an altar boy for Christ’s sake (mainly 'cause being an altar boy got you out of school if there was a funeral. It’s sad, we would root for funerals). When I’m channel flipping, I just get fascinated that a network like EWTN exists. Mother A. is hysterical enough, she tells these long rambling stories occasionally throwing in a joke that she finds funny but doesn’t make a lick of sense. Then a few times a year, she turns her show into a sort of Catholic QVC selling ceramic Jesus’ and what-not (BTW, have you read **[Sport Jesus](http://www.brunching.com/features/sportjesus.html)** over at the Brunching Shuttlecocks?) ---
**Author:** ![Macro\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Macro\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macro_Man)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-a-nun-walks-into-an-optometrist/91860/18 "2001-11-07T14:25:15Z")
Why A Duck: I’m glad you brought up the QVC connection. I honestly thought I imagined the fact that it was occasionally a quasi-QVC channel. And I saw a little of that guy with the bad burns the other day. I forget what he was talking about, but he seemed to be spewing some sort of venow that I actually found disturbing. I want to say it had something to do with the terrorist attacks, but not for sure. Wish I could remember what it was… And I seriously do sympathize with the fact Mother A. had a stroke. Not trying to minimize that fact in any way. She does strike an imposing figure now, however. I just keep thinking about the nun smacking the hell out of Jake and Ellwood in the Blues Brothers… ---
**Author:** ![NutMagnet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ea5d25/32.png) [@NutMagnet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NutMagnet)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-a-nun-walks-into-an-optometrist/91860/19 "2001-11-07T15:42:56Z")
OK. Sympathies and all for the stroke. But does the eyepatch have to be the size of a garbage can lid? Geez the thing covers half her face. And gloss black!? It took me five minutes before I noticed the right side of her lip was resting on her shoulder! ---
**Author:** ![dylan\_73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecccb3/32.png) [@dylan\_73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dylan_73)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-a-nun-walks-into-an-optometrist/91860/20 "2001-11-07T15:50:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Why A Duck \* > \*\*BTW, have you read **[Sport Jesus](http://www.brunching.com/features/sportjesus.html)** over at the Brunching Shuttlecocks? \*\* I feel an overwhelming urge to randomly ask this in the middle of my next serious conversation…