# Ok, so I saw your boobs twice... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 2, 2003, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-i-saw-your-boobs-twice/158566 "2003-03-02T08:44:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![lel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8797f3/32.png) [@lel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lel)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-i-saw-your-boobs-twice/158566/21 "2003-03-02T17:59:47Z")
As a fat psycho loser girl, I can now rest assured that I will never have a relationship and will have to settle for someone. That having been said, I’d much prefer a lifetime of singlehood, celibacy and even hermit-like isolation to you, **RexDart**. ---
**Author:** ![Beagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Beagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beagle)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-i-saw-your-boobs-twice/158566/22 "2003-03-02T18:00:40Z")
**RexDart** , > [@](#): > > Over the next 10 years, all my friends will get married and/or committed to their life partners. They’ll stop spending time with me and spend all their time with their wives and children. I’ll be marginalized and insignificant. I’ll be left alone and worthless for what…to work 8-10 hours a day until I finally die of cancer at the age of 60? To spend the rest of my life alone and tired with only Sportscenter and my mystery novels to console me?..(existential angst edited out for clarity) Living the dream. Just not aware of it yet. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-i-saw-your-boobs-twice/158566/23 "2003-03-02T18:04:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lel \* > \*\*As a fat psycho loser girl, I can now rest assured that I will never have a relationship and will have to settle for someone. \*\* What is this? The low self-esteem thread? ---
**Author:** ![erislover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71e660/32.png) [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-i-saw-your-boobs-twice/158566/24 "2003-03-02T18:10:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lel \* > As a fat psycho loser girl, I can now rest assured that I will never have a relationship and will have to settle for someone. That having been said, I’d much prefer a lifetime of singlehood, celibacy and even hermit-like isolation to you, **RexDart**. Wanna share in that fate? 😉 Oh, wait… ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-i-saw-your-boobs-twice/158566/25 "2003-03-02T18:11:26Z")
Hey Rex… I spent my teens without getting any although that was by choice and not because opportunity didn’t present itself. You’re 24… life for you is just getting started. There will be boobies… trust me. ---
**Author:** ![Berkut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e57/32.png) [@Berkut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Berkut)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-i-saw-your-boobs-twice/158566/26 "2003-03-02T18:14:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RexDart \* > \*\* I’ll be left alone and worthless for what…to work 8-10 hours a day until I finally die of cancer at the age of 60? To spend the rest of my life alone and tired with only Sportscenter and my mystery novels to console me? To be ground into dust by this miserable rock of uncaring soil and eventually to die and exist no more? \*\* Yeah, you will be all alone, single, with a couple of motorcycles, a huge garage and basement, a boat and some jetskis, big assed TV, a gun collection that you can leave lying around the house, lots of spending money and no anniversaries to remember. Won’t someone _please_ think of the toys? I personally can’t wait to become a dirty old man. So far, it doesn’t look like I am going to find woman who is going to live in my apartment/hangar that’s filled with half-completed airplane projects. Joey G Bachelor for life ---
**Author:** ![NothingMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b77776/32.png) [@NothingMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NothingMan)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-i-saw-your-boobs-twice/158566/27 "2003-03-02T18:14:54Z")
Shhesh you got to see real life naked boobies . . . and all you can do is complain? Man your priorities are seriously whacked. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-i-saw-your-boobs-twice/158566/28 "2003-03-02T18:20:14Z")
**Rex** I have written and deleted several replies to this thread. It’s comments like yours that make me so irate I can not create a lucid reply. You only have to reread your OP to figure out why you are alone. Get a better attitude or get used to being alone. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-i-saw-your-boobs-twice/158566/29 "2003-03-02T18:25:53Z")
You might join the Peace Corps: That way you could dedicate yourself to a cause maybe bigger and definately more rewarding than your own self-pity (plus they might send you someplace tropical where the women go topless). Seriously, go get yourself into something bigger than yourself, now when you’re young and single. It doesn’t have to be as big a committment as the Peace Corps, but just occasional volunteer work. There’s a lot of good things that need to be done in this world that can’t be covered by the for-profit sector, and a lot of good people realize this and give of themselves to fill the gap. And a lot of these good people are single women. Hardly what your call “losers.” (as far as their backsides, I’ll leave the gauge of their callipygous attributes to you.) ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-i-saw-your-boobs-twice/158566/30 "2003-03-02T18:26:38Z")
It’s a whole lot likelier to happen if you don’t convince yourself it won’t. In other words – grow up, change your attitude. You don’t need a woman to make you a real man, if that’s what you’re thinking. I didn’t have a real relationship OR have any sort of sex until I was 25, and I survived. So will you. So quit whining! ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-i-saw-your-boobs-twice/158566/31 "2003-03-02T18:29:59Z")
**Rex** , if you widen your relationship search to include fat girls (who, as others have pointed out, have boobies), you just might luck out. But first you need to get over the whole anti-fat thing in your head. That said, there are lots of things you can do to get out and get to know people in a comfortable environment. Like taking a class at the Career Center. If you’re interested in sign language, call Advent and ask them when the next ASL beginner’s class starts. The reason I suggest that particular class is its one in which you are _forced_, by its very nature, to interact and participate. Getting out of the house and exposing yourself to environments where you can meet people is the best way (IMO) to learn _how_ to interact with people and build your self confidence. But you need to get over the fat thing. Really - the fat phobia itself is not attractive and hurtful to others. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-i-saw-your-boobs-twice/158566/32 "2003-03-02T18:34:41Z")
Rex, if you take with modern hormone treatments, there is no need for you to go through life without access to boobies even if you never find a partner. ---
**Author:** ![erislover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71e660/32.png) [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-i-saw-your-boobs-twice/158566/33 "2003-03-02T18:42:02Z")
So is sexual preference a choice only when we’re discussing weight? But not genetalia. What about hair color? Am I allowed to like some more than others? I don’t like natural reds… who can I piss off because of that? Can I choose to only like breasts that have been surgically altered because I think they look great? ( **::shudder::** oh it hurts me to even think that one.) I just want to know, was there a cosmo list or something that I missed? Just tell me on what matters it is ok to get an erection over and I will snap right to it! ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-i-saw-your-boobs-twice/158566/34 "2003-03-02T18:46:33Z")
Now I’m seriously insulted. 😃 Both my wife and I are “fat psychotic losers”, by most people’s definitions. The problem is not us, it’s their definitions… ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-i-saw-your-boobs-twice/158566/35 "2003-03-02T18:51:44Z")
I’m suggesting it as a viable option, **erislover**. The anti-fat attitude itself is not attractive - I know he has it - he mentioned it twice. The anti-fat attitude itself is hurtful to others. That is what I feel he needs to get over. If he dates fat girls or not, doesn’t matter - if he treats fat people like he treats everyone else, it will make him a more attractive human being. If you want to be a dickhead about it, that’s your choice. ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-i-saw-your-boobs-twice/158566/36 "2003-03-02T18:53:08Z")
Yes, Tristan, Linus pretty much nailed my sentiments. (Thanks Linus!) And others have explained why such an attitude as Rex has expressed here is very likely part of the problem. With that said, all I want to add is that _many_ people are “late bloomers”. And they are not psychos or losers or anything. One of my friends got her _first_ boyfriend at age…what? I’m not sure of the exact age, but it was 30-something. Her boyfriend is a few years older than her, and she was his first serious girlfriend. I’ve met him—he’s a really great guy. A little geeky, but in a good way. (No geekier than many of the people on this board, no doubt!) And a very devoted guy (no clingy or creepy, just very devoted). Their relationship is something to be admired. But I guess that according to you, she must be “fat or psycho” by default, huh? (And no, she’s not fat, or psycho, just a bit shy. He’s a bit chubby, though, but in a cute way.) I guess my point is, stop being so defeatist, get over your stereotypes and prejudices (they are _really_ holding you back), and realize that there is no such thing as “too late” or “too old”. > [@](#): > > _erislover wrote:_ > Just tell me on what matters it is ok to get an erection over and I will snap right to it! :rolleyes: eris, read Linus’s post again, which explains some of our objections more clearly. We all have our own preferences, but equating “fat = psycho” or “fat = loser” (or assuming that after a certain age, only the fatties and the psychos will be left in the dating pool) is downright ignorant and insulting. ---
**Author:** ![Cephalopod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Cephalopod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cephalopod)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-i-saw-your-boobs-twice/158566/37 "2003-03-02T18:56:08Z")
I feel for you Rex. But you’re going to have to suck it up and do your best. You have a duty to enjoy the one life you’ve got. Just a couple of tips. Take em or leave em, but I’ve seen em help before. Men and women are just monkeys playing a complicated, but natural and mostly predictable game. Women just play a different game. Dedicate yourself to figuring out the game. Enjoy failure as a learning experience. Experiment. If you’re ugly, make up for it in other ways. But don’t make up for it by being the shoulder for her to cry on. Try confident - fake it - confidence is one of the many proxies for power that women tend to find irresistable. It also doesn’t hurt to be damned good at something. After a few years you’ll enjoy the game. I’m hard at it and learning new things about myself and my species daily. ---
**Author:** ![Jessity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c67d28/32.png) [@Jessity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jessity)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-i-saw-your-boobs-twice/158566/38 "2003-03-02T19:07:03Z")
Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Women can see that a mile away and it is terribly unattractive. More unattractive than those love handles around your waist. Your attitude is pathetic, and until you change it, noone is going to want you. FWIW, you sound like the type of guy who would be clingy, posessive, and jealous. Most women don’t really want that. Besides, if you don’t wanna get stuck with one of us psychotic fat girls, maybe you should go on a diet and drop some excess weight. [Here’s](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=2279083#post2279083) where you said: > [@](#): > > If I wanted to date cute college girls, I’d lose 50 pounds. Since I have resolved not to settle for a fat girl, I pretty much just don’t date. There are greater things in the world. As Brad Pitt’s character in “Fight Club” said, “We’re a generation of men raised by women…I’m starting to wonder if another woman is really what we need.” . . . Take a look at yourself. You sound really unhappy. Figure out what needs to change, work on it, and make yourself happy. Until you do that, you can’t make a girlfriend happy. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-i-saw-your-boobs-twice/158566/39 "2003-03-02T19:17:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Joey G \* > > * * * > > Yeah, you will be all alone, single, with a couple of motorcycles, a huge garage and basement, a boat and some jetskis, big assed TV, a gun collection that you can leave lying around the house, lots of spending money and no anniversaries to remember. Won’t someone _please_ think of the toys? > > I personally can’t wait to become a dirty old man. So far, it doesn’t look like I am going to find woman who is going to live in my apartment/hangar that’s filled with half-completed airplane projects. > > Joey G > Bachelor for life \*\* Wow, Joey, you’re living my dream! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-i-saw-your-boobs-twice/158566/40 "2003-03-02T19:44:25Z")
> [@](#): > > _[Originally posted by Lady of the Lake](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=2279318#post2279318)_ > Do you know the quickest way a man could succeed at not having a second date with me? > > Start talking about how he would never date a fat woman. (Okay, extra points if he’s rude and deameaning about larger women) > > Now, this bothers me especially if that man is not the most attractive. The main thing that goes through my mind is that this man is no Enrique Iglesias, but I’m willing to give him a chance. But, here he is affirming that HE WOULD NOT GIVE ME THE SAME CHANCE IF I WERE NOT THIN AND CUTE per some odd ‘this is how a woman should look’ standard. > > I don’t think so. Sums it up so much better than did. Thank you, **Lady of the Lake**. Getting over the distaste for _fat_ women may make you more attractive to _all_ women. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-i-saw-your-boobs-twice/158566.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-i-saw-your-boobs-twice/158566.md?page=3)