# Ok, so just exactly how big was Milton Berle's schlong? (Facts, not jokes, please!) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 3, 2004, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-just-exactly-how-big-was-milton-berles-schlong-facts-not-jokes-please/248494 "2004-06-03T20:20:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-just-exactly-how-big-was-milton-berles-schlong-facts-not-jokes-please/248494/21 "2004-06-04T13:13:04Z")
In her book “I’m With The Band,” rock group Pamela Des Barres mentions Don Johnson as having the most she’s ever seen. When he’s asked about it, Don just laughs and refuses to comment. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-just-exactly-how-big-was-milton-berles-schlong-facts-not-jokes-please/248494/22 "2004-06-04T13:17:27Z")
Errol Flynn’s Penis plays the piano. All I can think of is " HAAAASAAAN CHOP!" ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-just-exactly-how-big-was-milton-berles-schlong-facts-not-jokes-please/248494/23 "2004-06-04T13:22:28Z")
Cartoonist R. Crumb, according to a female acquaintance (sorry, it’s been a while since I’ve seen _Crumb_, and I don’t remember exactly who) possesses “one of the largest penises in the world”. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-just-exactly-how-big-was-milton-berles-schlong-facts-not-jokes-please/248494/24 "2004-06-04T14:50:20Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Well, there are a number of contenders. > > [James Woods, Bob Newhart, Wayne Newton](http://www.hollywoodpulse.com/archives2-11.html)😛 For those who don’t know, that site is on par with the Onion. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-just-exactly-how-big-was-milton-berles-schlong-facts-not-jokes-please/248494/25 "2004-06-04T14:58:57Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > Errol Flynn’s Penis plays the piano. All I can think of is " HAAAASAAAN CHOP!" If Uncle Miltie’s could play the piano, the two could have gotten together for “Chopsticks”. ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-just-exactly-how-big-was-milton-berles-schlong-facts-not-jokes-please/248494/26 "2004-06-04T16:56:01Z")
> [@Why A Duck](#): > > Forest Tucker? The F-Troop guy? > > Imagine my surprise. > > So who’s got the killer kielbasa these days? I’ve heard good things about Liam Neeson, but not much about anyone else. I’ve heard the new sausage king is Dean Cain. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-just-exactly-how-big-was-milton-berles-schlong-facts-not-jokes-please/248494/27 "2004-06-04T17:37:37Z")
Despite the name, I have heard that **William Hung** is not in the running. She Bang… Now, **RuPaul** is another story… He/she bang… ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-just-exactly-how-big-was-milton-berles-schlong-facts-not-jokes-please/248494/28 "2004-06-04T18:24:33Z")
> [@Honey](#): > > I’ve heard the new sausage king is Dean Cain. Abe Froman retired? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-just-exactly-how-big-was-milton-berles-schlong-facts-not-jokes-please/248494/29 "2004-06-04T18:35:26Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > In her book “I’m With The Band,” rock group Pamela Des Barres mentions Don Johnson as having the most she’s ever seen. When he’s asked about it, Don just laughs and refuses to comment. If Don Johnson has the most she’s ever seen, she apparently didn’t get around as much as she would have us believe. Either that or Don’s a grower, not a show-er. ---
**Author:** ![VirginiaPlain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/2bfe46/32.png) [@VirginiaPlain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VirginiaPlain)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-just-exactly-how-big-was-milton-berles-schlong-facts-not-jokes-please/248494/30 "2004-06-04T19:25:13Z")
Ummmm…there’s someTHING about Ben Stiller!!!\* \*Courtesy of a wardrobe pal of mine… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-just-exactly-how-big-was-milton-berles-schlong-facts-not-jokes-please/248494/31 "2004-06-04T20:58:58Z")
[QUOTE=Equipoise] > [@Walloon](#): > > You can check out the evidence on James and David [here](http://www.hunkvideo.com/search/search.html). > > I did spend, um, a bit of time here. Thanks! No Neeson or Berle though. Boo hoo. > > . I confess to spending a bit of time here, and i found more than a few guys I would’t throw out of bed for eating crackers…and a few I would even supply the crackers…like Brendon Fraser\ mrAru wanted to know if there was a emale version of the site… ---
**Author:** ![m-ttw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7c8e57/32.png) [@m-ttw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/m-ttw)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2022, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-so-just-exactly-how-big-was-milton-berles-schlong-facts-not-jokes-please/248494/32 "2022-02-11T16:40:10Z")
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