# OK State Rep. Sally Kern: Homosexuality is "the biggest threat" to the U.S.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-state-rep-sally-kern-homosexuality-is-the-biggest-threat-to-the-u-s/441037>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [March 11, 2008, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-state-rep-sally-kern-homosexuality-is-the-biggest-threat-to-the-u-s/441037 "2008-03-11T23:42:19Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-state-rep-sally-kern-homosexuality-is-the-biggest-threat-to-the-u-s/441037/41 "2008-03-12T15:45:44Z")

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What color is the “This is just a hanky, and I’m not gay!” hanky?

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**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-state-rep-sally-kern-homosexuality-is-the-biggest-threat-to-the-u-s/441037/42 "2008-03-12T15:47:16Z")

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[QUOTE=elucidator]  
What color is the “This is just a hanky, and I’m not gay!” hanky?  
[/QUOTE]

Whatever color hanky you choose. Just as long as you aren’t picking up guys in a gay bar at the time you’re wearing it. 😉

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**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-state-rep-sally-kern-homosexuality-is-the-biggest-threat-to-the-u-s/441037/43 "2008-03-12T15:47:41Z")

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[QUOTE=elucidator]  
What color is the “This is just a hanky, and I’m not gay!” hanky?  
[/QUOTE]

That’s the one that’s NOT sticking out of your back pocket. You really don’t want to know what Springsteen was inadvertently advertising in the 80s with that red hanky…

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**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-state-rep-sally-kern-homosexuality-is-the-biggest-threat-to-the-u-s/441037/44 "2008-03-12T15:56:38Z")

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Springsteen? _Springsteen?_ No fuckin’ way! Chuck Norris, sure, no doubt. But Springsteen?

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**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-state-rep-sally-kern-homosexuality-is-the-biggest-threat-to-the-u-s/441037/45 "2008-03-12T16:05:39Z")

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So the code thing just applies to hankies, right? I hope I haven’t been sending the wrong message with the bullwhip in my anus…

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**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-state-rep-sally-kern-homosexuality-is-the-biggest-threat-to-the-u-s/441037/46 "2008-03-12T16:06:34Z")

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[QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip]  
So the code thing just applies to hankies, right? I hope I haven’t been sending the wrong message with the bullwhip in my anus…  
[/QUOTE]

No fear hon, that’s the code for ‘soccer mom’.

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**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-state-rep-sally-kern-homosexuality-is-the-biggest-threat-to-the-u-s/441037/47 "2008-03-12T16:07:35Z")

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[QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip]  
So the code thing just applies to hankies, right? I hope I haven’t been sending the wrong message with the bullwhip in my anus…  
[/QUOTE]

…

_Is_ there a _right_ message to be sending in that particular case?

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**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-state-rep-sally-kern-homosexuality-is-the-biggest-threat-to-the-u-s/441037/48 "2008-03-12T16:11:34Z")

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[QUOTE=jayjay]  
…

_Is_ there a _right_ message to be sending in that particular case?  
[/QUOTE]

“I want federal funding”. 😃

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**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-state-rep-sally-kern-homosexuality-is-the-biggest-threat-to-the-u-s/441037/49 "2008-03-12T16:15:35Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> How, exactly, will homosexuality destroy a nation? (With great style, obviously, but details!)

I thought flannel shirts, but that’s Lesbian Nation.

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**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-state-rep-sally-kern-homosexuality-is-the-biggest-threat-to-the-u-s/441037/50 "2008-03-12T16:47:56Z")

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[QUOTE=Malthus]  
“I want federal funding”. 😃  
[/QUOTE]

I’m just _really_ stoked about the new Indiana Jones movie.

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**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-state-rep-sally-kern-homosexuality-is-the-biggest-threat-to-the-u-s/441037/51 "2008-03-12T16:57:46Z")

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[QUOTE=Cisco]  
My wife played the video clip for me earlier so I broke out my bible and started reading out of Leviticus. If this lady is so obsessed with homosexuality being wrong because the bible says so, she should follow all that other stuff too, right? I couldn’t help but notice she cuts her hair. Oh well, we better stone the bitch.  
[/QUOTE]

When I counter picketed against Fred Phelps he used to holler at us for being “crop headed whores”. We’d just laugh and run our fingers through our hair, fluffing it up. So he tried calling the cops on us for “laughing too loud and disturbing the peace.”

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**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-state-rep-sally-kern-homosexuality-is-the-biggest-threat-to-the-u-s/441037/52 "2008-03-12T17:00:44Z")

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[QUOTE=matt\_mcl]  
As I’ve said, only we could come up with a code that requires you to be able to distinguish between kelly green and bottle green across a darkened, smoky bar at 3 a.m. after your fourth vodka shooter.  
[/QUOTE]

I must be straight then. I don’t even know what half of those colors are. Do I have to become an Oklahoma Republican now?

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**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-state-rep-sally-kern-homosexuality-is-the-biggest-threat-to-the-u-s/441037/53 "2008-03-12T17:03:34Z")

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[QUOTE=matt\_mcl]  
As I’ve said, only we could come up with a code that requires you to be able to distinguish between kelly green and bottle green across a darkened, smoky bar at 3 a.m. after your fourth vodka shooter.  
[/QUOTE]

:dubious: Some sort of cruel prank played on color-blind gay guys?

I can’t even tell green from brown in broad daylight, completely sober… Wait, how has there not been a whacky comedy about a color-blind gay guy misreading hanky codes at the gay bar?

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**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-state-rep-sally-kern-homosexuality-is-the-biggest-threat-to-the-u-s/441037/54 "2008-03-12T17:06:14Z")

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[QUOTE=Mangetout]  
How, exactly, will homosexuality destroy a nation? (With great style, obviously, but _details!_)  
[/QUOTE]

[The Homosexual Agenda revealed!](http://www.bettybowers.com/homoagenda.html)

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**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-state-rep-sally-kern-homosexuality-is-the-biggest-threat-to-the-u-s/441037/55 "2008-03-12T17:18:02Z")

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[QUOTE=Mangetout]  
How, exactly, will homosexuality destroy a nation? (With great style, obviously, but _details!_)  
[/QUOTE]

“It’s a brilliant strategy! First we send in the lesbian platoon. ‘YAAAH! RAPISTS PATRIARCHY YOU’RE GONNA DIE!’ War’s over, send in the gay men to clean up. ‘Oh my _God_ look at this mess. You call that architecture? Burn it down, we’ll say the lesbians did it.’” - Maggie Cassella

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**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-state-rep-sally-kern-homosexuality-is-the-biggest-threat-to-the-u-s/441037/56 "2008-03-12T17:20:34Z")

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I fear that they will commandeer someone’s penis and crash it into my rectum, killing thousands. I’m not sure _how_ it will kill thousands, but I am rightfully fearful of finding out. Or even worse, what if it was my penis that was commandeered?

I see a lot of threat-level-minded bars around here that have flags out front with all of the threat level colors on them. Maybe I had better start hanging out at one of those to be on the safe side.

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**Author:** ![flight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbce88/32.png) [@flight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flight)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-state-rep-sally-kern-homosexuality-is-the-biggest-threat-to-the-u-s/441037/57 "2008-03-12T17:49:22Z")

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[QUOTE=jayjay]  
That’s because **they believe that**! They don’t believe that gay folk are “just that way”…they think they’re normal straight people who’ve either fallen in with a bad crowd or who’ve deliberately thrown off the civilizing influence of society. To them, ANYONE can become gay…it’s not just a rhetorical device they use to demagogue. They believe it! To them, homosexuality is a communicable habit/addiction, just like alcoholism or drug addiction. And curable in the same ways, apparently.  
[/QUOTE]

You know, we have a word for people who require constant vigilance to be able to keep from having gay sex, it’s GAY.

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**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-state-rep-sally-kern-homosexuality-is-the-biggest-threat-to-the-u-s/441037/58 "2008-03-12T17:52:41Z")

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[QUOTE=flight]  
You know, we have a word for people who require constant vigilance to be able to keep from having gay sex, it’s GAY.  
[/QUOTE]

I’m gay, and unfortunately, I don’t need special measures of any kind in order not to have gay sex these days. ☹

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**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-state-rep-sally-kern-homosexuality-is-the-biggest-threat-to-the-u-s/441037/59 "2008-03-12T17:53:05Z")

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[QUOTE=matt\_mcl]  
Well, please, I’d like to actually be able to _do_ something when I pick up. Fivesomes don’t just happen, you know.  
[/QUOTE]

The best ones do 😉

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**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-state-rep-sally-kern-homosexuality-is-the-biggest-threat-to-the-u-s/441037/60 "2008-03-12T17:56:16Z")

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[QUOTE=Butch]  
I fear that they will commandeer someone’s penis and crash it into my rectum…  
[/QUOTE]

Not to worry, we live in Minnesota. To commandeer would be rude. Also pretty safe in Iowa, where they can’t spell it.

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