# OK...Step Slowly Away From The Car and Drop the Dildo....
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [November 22, 2002, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254 "2002-11-22T22:47:06Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)
#### Post date: [November 22, 2002, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/1 "2002-11-22T22:47:06Z")
Somehow I knew this would be in Texas. They mustn’t have much crime in Longview if this is [illegal](http://www.news-journal.com/news/newsfd/auto/feed/news/2002/11/21/1037856026.03162.8221.2870.html) . My favorite sentence here is :The arrest report describes the 17 items as “obscene materials and obscene devices,” but Police Chief Charlie Smith said the items were mostly lotions and objects defined in a dictionary as having the shape and often the appearance of the male genitalia, used in sexual stimulation"
:sigh…: Too much ignorance, too little time…
Asshats…(seems somewhat appropriate here)
---
### Author:  [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)
#### Post date: [November 22, 2002, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/2 "2002-11-22T22:50:18Z")
> [@](#):
>
> How illegal is that? Prosecutors will have to decide when White Oak investigators forward their findings to the district attorney’s office sometime in the next week, Smith said.
>
> “We’ll see what they do with it,” Smith said.
Thank you, but I’d rather _not_ see, if it’s all the same to you.
---
### Author:  [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)
#### Post date: [November 22, 2002, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/3 "2002-11-22T22:50:23Z")
> [@](#):
>
> State law appears a little less forgiving: It’s illegal to “wholesale promote” obscene materials or devices. Texas statute says an obscene device is a simulated sexual organ or an item designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs. The law allows investigators to assume that anyone with six or more of the items is intending to promote them
Lucky she wasn’t returning from the supermarket, with hotdogs and cucumbers.
---
### Author:  [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)
#### Post date: [November 22, 2002, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/4 "2002-11-22T22:53:11Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Odieman \*
> \*\*
> Asshats…(seems somewhat appropriate here) \*\*
Update…I believe we’re using **fuckfoons** now.
At least I am.
---
### Author:  [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)
#### Post date: [November 22, 2002, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/5 "2002-11-22T22:54:41Z")
One persons asshat is another persons fuckfoon 😃
---
### Author:  [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)
#### Post date: [November 22, 2002, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/6 "2002-11-22T22:58:36Z")
If we outlaw dildoes, only outlaws will have dildoes.
Oh, come on, You all knew it was coming.
---
### Author:  [@Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dread_Pirate_Jimbo)
#### Post date: [November 22, 2002, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/7 "2002-11-22T23:17:42Z")
Wow. You can buy “obscene” items in novelty stores at the local mall around these parts. They’re located at the back of the store, right next to the rubber chickens and magic eight balls. I guess one person’s obscene device is another person’s gag gift.
---
### Author:  [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)
#### Post date: [November 22, 2002, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/8 "2002-11-22T23:26:29Z")
See the second quote in my sig for a rather _apropo_ candy…
😃
---
### Author:  [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)
#### Post date: [November 22, 2002, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/9 "2002-11-22T23:59:47Z")
I support the police 100% here. I mean really, it seems like a no-brainer to me. Having to share the road with people who talk on cell phones is bad enough, but _this_!?
😉
---
### Author:  [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)
#### Post date: [November 23, 2002, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/10 "2002-11-23T00:29:53Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by ivylass \*
> **Update…I believe we’re using fuckfoons now.**
IWPTA “fucktoons” and almost subscribed.
---
### Author:  [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)
#### Post date: [November 23, 2002, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/11 "2002-11-23T00:38:16Z")
Heh. **Gunslinger** is a photographer for that newspaper (although he’s not credited as staff; he’s a part-timer). I’m extremely disappointed that he didn’t get called to shoot for that article.
---
### Author:  [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)
#### Post date: [November 23, 2002, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/12 "2002-11-23T00:40:55Z")
> [@](#):
>
> **said Beeblebrox**
> Having to share the road with people who talk on cell phones is bad enough, but this!?
Now, now, as long as they’re using them hands free…
---
### Author:  [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)
#### Post date: [November 23, 2002, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/13 "2002-11-23T00:54:34Z")
Oh, yeah, right. “The new Sybian! Not your mother’s Oldsmobile.”
---
### Author:  [@BeatenMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeatenMan)
#### Post date: [November 23, 2002, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/14 "2002-11-23T01:34:08Z")
I think they should send her to prison where they have no diloes just muff dives and hair pulling.
---
### Author:  [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)
#### Post date: [November 23, 2002, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/15 "2002-11-23T01:38:23Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by BeatenMan \*
> \*\*I think they should send her to prison where they have no diloes just muff dives and hair pulling. \*\*
Dude, what have you been _watching_ to get this kinda screwed-up image of the women’s penal (heh) system?
Everything I’ve seen suggests each and every cell is equipped with at _least_ one phallic latex novelty. And my research into the topic is, I’m ashamed to say, rather extensive.
---
### Author:  [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)
#### Post date: [November 23, 2002, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/16 "2002-11-23T01:38:53Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by BeatenMan \*
> \*\*I think they should send her to prison where they have no diloes just muff dives and hair pulling. \*\*
Um, h’uh?
---
### Author:  [@BeatenMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeatenMan)
#### Post date: [November 23, 2002, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/17 "2002-11-23T01:53:39Z")
quote:\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_
Originally posted by: apotheosis
Dude, what have you been watching to get this kinda screwed-up image of the women’s penal (heh) system?
Everything I’ve seen suggests each and every cell is equipped with at least one phallic latex novelty. And my research into the topic is, I’m ashamed to say, rather extensive
* * *
Really? Ok tell me the juicy details, you know for the sake of science.
---
### Author:  [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)
#### Post date: [November 23, 2002, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/18 "2002-11-23T02:10:45Z")
> [@](#):
>
> The law allows investigators to assume that anyone with six or more of the items is intending to promote them
.
It’s a good thing they haven’t seen what’s in my nightstand drawer, then.
---
### Author:  [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)
#### Post date: [November 23, 2002, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/19 "2002-11-23T02:14:36Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by BeatenMan \*
> **Ok tell me the juicy details, you know for the sake of science.**
Well, if the films are any indication, a large part of the nation’s prison budget is going to mascara, peroxide, and surgical enhancements that register on the Richter scale.
But I digress.
---
### Author:  [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)
#### Post date: [November 23, 2002, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/20 "2002-11-23T02:56:09Z")
One can only hope that Texas will, one day soon, follow [Alabama](http://www.nbc13.com/news/1751056/detail.html) into the 20[sup]th[/sup] century.
Yes, the 20[sup]th[/sup].
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254.md?page=2)