# OK...Step Slowly Away From The Car and Drop the Dildo....
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [November 22, 2002, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254 "2002-11-22T22:47:06Z")
**Posts on this page:** 16
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)
#### Post date: [November 23, 2002, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/21 "2002-11-23T04:09:23Z")
I’d also like to add that, as a person who’s planning to move to the community in question (well, Longview, not White Oak), I knew in advance that there was a law against dildos/vibes/sex toys/etc.
I just had _no earthly idea_ that anyone in a city that seems as (at least halfway-) civilized as Longview would actually **enforce** the damn thing.
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### Author:  [@Dr.Lao](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Lao)
#### Post date: [November 23, 2002, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/22 "2002-11-23T04:20:51Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Larry Mudd \*
> **One can only hope that Texas will, one day soon, follow [Alabama](http://www.nbc13.com/news/1751056/detail.html) into the 20[sup]th[/sup] century.**
Or the 21st, even. Did you see that the Alabama Attorney General is appealing it for the second time? I think it is time for him to let it go. Does he forever want to be known as the champion of anti-dildoites? Even if he wins it would be a Pyrrhic victory.
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### Author:  [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)
#### Post date: [November 23, 2002, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/23 "2002-11-23T04:23:48Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by CrazyCatLady \*
> \*\*If we outlaw dildoes, only outlaws will have dildoes.
>
> Oh, come on, You all knew it was coming. \*\*
Not for her, unfortunately…
[sub]Thank you, I’ll be here all night… ;)[/sub]
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### Author:  [@SparrowHawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SparrowHawk)
#### Post date: [November 23, 2002, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/24 "2002-11-23T04:28:13Z")
I doubt she’s “wholesale promoting” them, anyhow. She probably charges retail.
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### Author:  [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)
#### Post date: [November 23, 2002, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/25 "2002-11-23T07:26:49Z")
> [@](#):
>
> **Dr. Lao:** Or the 21st, even. Did you see that the Alabama Attorney General is appealing it for the second time?
That’s while I said 20[sup]th[/sup]. 😃
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### Author:  [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)
#### Post date: [November 23, 2002, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/26 "2002-11-23T08:11:47Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Larry Mudd \*
> \*\*One can only hope that Texas will, one day soon, follow [Alabama](http://www.nbc13.com/news/1751056/detail.html) into the 20[sup]th[/sup] century.
>
> Yes, the 20[sup]th[/sup]. \*\*
AD or BC ? 😃
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### Author:  [@Siemsi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siemsi)
#### Post date: [November 25, 2002, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/27 "2002-11-25T17:54:07Z")
Ahhhhem. Are you sure this did not take place in Moron-Ville Cincinnati??? The home of the tight assed-conservative fuckfoons!
Ugh. morons.
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### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [November 25, 2002, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/28 "2002-11-25T18:17:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> The law allows investigators to assume that anyone with six or more of the items is intending to promote them
Neat! The Dominator just made Dildo First Class!
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### Author:  [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)
#### Post date: [November 25, 2002, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/29 "2002-11-25T18:22:00Z")
Wait a second:
You have NO idea the number of sex stores in San Antonio… I drive past one on the way to and from work each day. The largest one runs ads for new movies they are screening.
(Harry Pottymouth and the Sorcerers Bone was the funniest ad)
Either all of these shops are illegal to run or the quote about the state law is wrong.
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### Author:  [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)
#### Post date: [November 25, 2002, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/30 "2002-11-25T18:23:58Z")
From the article.
> [@](#):
>
> Texas statute says an obscene device is a simulated sexual organ or an item designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs.
So then, buying K-Y Jelly is illegal too?
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### Author:  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)
#### Post date: [November 25, 2002, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/31 "2002-11-25T18:40:41Z")
I had no idea White Oak was such a den of inequity.
Maybe that’s where my Ben Wa Acorns came from.
My guess is that within a week the deputies will be trying out all these new “fancy fishin’ lures” they just confiscated down at the local lake.
Fuckfoons.
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### Author:  [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)
#### Post date: [November 25, 2002, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/32 "2002-11-25T18:44:29Z")
Bolding mine.
> [@](#):
>
> State law appears a little less forgiving: It’s illegal to “wholesale promote” obscene materials or devices. Texas statute says an obscene device is a simulated sexual organ or an item designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of **human genital organs**. The law allows investigators to assume that anyone with six or more of the items is intending to promote them
So, as long as the devices are not for **humans** they’re legal?
😕
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### Author:  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)
#### Post date: [November 25, 2002, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/33 "2002-11-25T18:58:31Z")
Counting orifices…
Let’s see, you gots the 2 ears,
the anus,
the nose,
the peepee hole,
the mouth…
Yep, more’n 6 and you’re a prevert!
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### Author:  [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)
#### Post date: [November 25, 2002, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/34 "2002-11-25T19:22:23Z")
> [@](#):
>
> In April, Kilgore police raided the Adult Book Store/Video Store at 1907 Industrial Blvd., seizing 12 large trash bags full of devices police said were being sold illegally. The raid came after an undercover officer visited the shop twice before the raid, making at least one purchase. An 11-page inventory compiled by police estimated the materials were worth $19,082. The sexual devices on the 11-page inventory ranged in price from a “Climax Band” that sold for $5.95 to a “Wild and Crazy Tickler” for $11.95; a “Hyper Sonic G” for $69.95; a “Plush Playmate” for $89.95; and a “Cyber Sexploration Kit” for $44.95.
>
> The store owner, Robert Duggan III, was never arrested, but he agreed to plead guilty to a misdemeanor count of obscene display, a charge equivalent to a traffic ticket, and agreed to pay a fine and let police destroy the items.
My mom was on the grand jury that heard this case to determine if there was sufficient evidence to take it to trial. She told me about it afterwards and said that all of the grand jury members were unanimous in their eye-rolling disdain for the ridiculousness of the whole thing, but their hands were tied. They didn’t have the leeway to no-bill it because it was stupid… they had to operate strictly on the merits, and the fact was the guy was in violation of a law - albeit a moronically puritanical one.
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### Author:  [@Robb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robb)
#### Post date: [November 25, 2002, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/35 "2002-11-25T19:51:26Z")
[Obscenity in Texas](http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/statutes/pe/pe0004300.html#pe009.43.23)
> [@](#):
>
> (a) A person commits an offense if, knowing its content and character, he wholesale promotes or possesses with intent to wholesale promote any obscene material or obscene device.
> (b) An offense under Subsection (a) is a state jail felony.
> © A person commits an offense if, knowing its content and character, he:
> ul promotes or possesses with intent to promote any obscene material or obscene device; or
> (2) produces, presents, or directs an obscene performance or participates in a portion thereof that is obscene or that contributes to its obscenity.[/ul]
> (d) An offense under Subsection © is a Class A misdemeanor.
> (e) A person who promotes or wholesale promotes obscene material or an obscene device or possesses the same with intent to promote or wholesale promote it in the course of his business is presumed to do so with knowledge of its content and character.
> (f) A person who possesses six or more obscene devices or identical or similar obscene articles is presumed to possess them with intent to promote the same.
> (g) It is an affirmative defense to prosecution under this section that the person who possesses or promotes material or a device proscribed by this section does so for a bona fide medical, psychiatric, judicial, legislative, or law enforcement purpose.
[Some useful definitions](http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/statutes/pe/pe0004300.html#pe007.43.21)
> [@](#):
>
> 1. “ **Wholesale promote** ” means to manufacture, issue, sell, provide, mail, deliver, transfer, transmit, publish, distribute, circulate, disseminate, or to offer or agree to do the same for purpose of resale.
> (7) “ **Obscene device** ” means a device including a dildo or artificial vagina, designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs.
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### Author:  [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)
#### Post date: [November 25, 2002, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-step-slowly-away-from-the-car-and-drop-the-dildo/138254/36 "2002-11-25T22:09:58Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Texas statute says an obscene device is a simulated sexual organ
Waitaminnit…wouldn’t that, by definition, include the hands and fingers?
Texas is a scary place, man.
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