# OK, this time I nearly screamed 'CITE?!" in church **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 16, 2003, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-this-time-i-nearly-screamed-cite-in-church/161841 "2003-03-16T21:16:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![japatlgt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df705f/32.png) [@japatlgt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/japatlgt)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-this-time-i-nearly-screamed-cite-in-church/161841/21 "2003-03-17T10:36:32Z")
“King James Bible” \ “Good enough for the apostle Paul, good enough for me!” I almost called bullshit in church once. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-this-time-i-nearly-screamed-cite-in-church/161841/22 "2003-03-17T11:13:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by japatlgt \* > \*\*I almost called bullshit in church once. \*\* The all-time best is “If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, it’s good enough for me.” Just stand up and calmly say “I call bullshit, Rev…” ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-this-time-i-nearly-screamed-cite-in-church/161841/23 "2003-03-17T11:50:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GMRyujin \* > **The all-time best is "If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, it’s good enough for me."** Since it’s been mentioned twice already in this thread, do we even know who _actually_ said this first? I’ve seen it attributed to school boards, city and state legislatures, various members of Congress, preachers, teachers, and so on. I can’t find it in Snopes either. \*\* > [@](#): > > Just stand up and calmly say “I call bullshit, Rev…” \*\* [South Park] Shenanigans! I call shenanigans! [/South Park] ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-this-time-i-nearly-screamed-cite-in-church/161841/24 "2003-03-17T12:51:53Z")
One of the things that drove me out of church was the pastor telling the story of the girl at Columbine who was shot in the library. Y’know the one, one of the boys said “Are you a Christian” and she said yes and he shot her and the story implies that she was assumed into Heaven for her faith. I deleted several forwards of that story from my email that week, I didn’t need to hear the same crap in church. This is why I respect my grandfather so much. He based his sermons on actual scripture. Go Grandpa! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-this-time-i-nearly-screamed-cite-in-church/161841/25 "2003-03-17T13:10:45Z")
Is it moral to shout “Cite!” in a crowded church? ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-this-time-i-nearly-screamed-cite-in-church/161841/26 "2003-03-17T13:15:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by japatlgt \* > **"King James Bible" \ "Good enough for the apostle Paul, good enough for me!"** Isn’t it funny that the only Bible that some fundamentalists accept is stamped with the name of a gay Catholic? ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-this-time-i-nearly-screamed-cite-in-church/161841/27 "2003-03-17T13:28:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jr8 \* > Since it’s been mentioned twice already in this thread, do we even know who _actually_ said this first? I’ve seen it attributed to school boards, city and state legislatures, various members of Congress, preachers, teachers, and so on. I can’t find it in Snopes either. I’ve only seen this attributed to [Ma Ferguson, governor of Texas circa 1920](http://maller.com/quotes/default.html?xauth=Ma%20Ferguson%2C%20Gov). There seem to be more quots from her than anyone else online regarding that line, so I’m leaning in that direction. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-this-time-i-nearly-screamed-cite-in-church/161841/28 "2003-03-17T13:52:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by nogginhead \* > \*\*One hesitates to ask, as a non-believer, Mangetout, but still… > > Do you plan to keep going after this experience? Do you find that the pastor’s opinions are generally worth paying attention to, even if the sources behind them aren’t so trustworthy (or misconstrued as they seem to have been here)? > \*\* Did you notice that the story about the hot cross buns being banned is substantially true? > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Mangetout \* > \*\* > The bit where I nearly demanded a cite was “This is true; I heard about a school where they have banned hot cross buns because they are overtly Christian”…_\* > [@](#): > > Hot cross banned: councils decree buns could be ‘offensive’ to non-Christians > By Chris Hastings and Elizabeth Day > (Filed: 16/03/2003) > Schools across Britain have been ordered by local authorities to abandon the ancient tradition of serving hot cross buns at Easter so as not to offend children of non-Christian faiths. In other words, the cite requested by **Mangetout** has been supplied (by **mblackwell** - thank you). Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-this-time-i-nearly-screamed-cite-in-church/161841/29 "2003-03-17T14:11:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RTFirefly \* > **what they hear through the Christian grapevine** Would this be where they got the grapes for the alcohol-free wine used at the Last Supper? (Yes, I’ve heard this “fact” before.) ---
**Author:** ![nogginhead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5e9695/32.png) [@nogginhead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nogginhead)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-this-time-i-nearly-screamed-cite-in-church/161841/30 "2003-03-17T14:22:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shodan \* > \*\*Did you notice that the story about the hot cross buns being banned is substantially true? > > In other words, the cite requested by **Mangetout** has been supplied (by **mblackwell** - thank you). > > Regards, > Shodan \*\* Yes, I did. That’s why I added [quote] (or misconstrued as they seem to have been here)? [\quote] The OP suggested to me that this was presented as the action, in the US, of some local anti-christian zealots. And you’ll note that several untrue statements from the pulpit have been related by others. Yours, Nog ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-this-time-i-nearly-screamed-cite-in-church/161841/31 "2003-03-17T14:40:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shodan \* > \*\*Did you notice that the story about the hot cross buns being banned is substantially true? \*\* Certainly the story itself appears to have an element of truth (I guess this is what I miss out on by not buying newspapers), however, it was very much misrepresented by being offered as evidence in a “_ **they** _ want to ban Christianity” monologue. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-this-time-i-nearly-screamed-cite-in-church/161841/32 "2003-03-17T14:41:38Z")
(In other words it is a cite, but not one that supports the argument) ---
**Author:** ![Early\_Out](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Early\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Early_Out)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-this-time-i-nearly-screamed-cite-in-church/161841/33 "2003-03-17T16:51:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shodan \* > \*\*Did you notice that the story about the hot cross buns being banned is substantially true? \*\* I read this a bit differently. It sounds to me as if the local schools are being asked to stop pushing Easter, a uniquely Christian holiday. The hot cross buns are not, in and of themselves, somehow “Christian:” it’s the practice of serving them specifically at Easter time that imbues them with a symbolic significance that some might find objectionable. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-this-time-i-nearly-screamed-cite-in-church/161841/34 "2003-03-17T17:44:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SpazCat \* > \*\*One of the things that drove me out of church was the pastor telling the story of the girl at Columbine who was shot in the library. Y’know the one, one of the boys said “Are you a Christian” and she said yes and he shot her and the story implies that she was assumed into Heaven for her faith. \*\* IIRC, the Columbine girl’s tale was written in a book called something like “The Martyrdom of Cassie.” It was by her mother. This reminded me for some reason of the tale we were told in Christian school. The principal’s voice broke, and tears rolled down her wattled neck as she told us about a little girl in Soviet Russia. Seems that “the government police” pulled all of the kids out of school, lined them up, and ordered them to spit on a bible. When it came to the little girls’ turn, she lovingly wiped the saliva from the book, and kissed it. Of course, they shot her. The cynic in me chuckled inwardly at the tale, thinking that it was better for the Russians to be spending their time rounding up kids for mass-spittings than trying to take over the world. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-this-time-i-nearly-screamed-cite-in-church/161841/35 "2003-03-17T18:18:36Z")
“In Soviet Russia, Bible spits on you!” ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-this-time-i-nearly-screamed-cite-in-church/161841/36 "2003-03-17T18:32:04Z")
I thought it had come out that Cassie Bernall most likely didn’t ever have the “do you believe in God?” exchange with the Columbine shooters. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-this-time-i-nearly-screamed-cite-in-church/161841/37 "2003-03-17T18:43:11Z")
For what it’s worth, Star of David buns are a lot harder to make… I think I saw this on [Snopes.com](http://Snopes.com) but there was apparently an email going around where someone had read an article in The Onion and thought it was serious. The article in question was a satirical piece about how kids thought that Jesus was weak and liked Harry Potter better. They said a lot of people were up in arms over something that was completely made up. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-this-time-i-nearly-screamed-cite-in-church/161841/38 "2003-03-17T19:03:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by blowero \* > \*\*For what it’s worth, Star of David buns are a lot harder to make… > > I think I saw this on [Snopes.com](http://Snopes.com) but there was apparently an email going around where someone had read an article in The Onion and thought it was serious. The article in question was a satirical piece about how kids thought that Jesus was weak and liked Harry Potter better. They said a lot of people were up in arms over something that was completely made up. \*\* If you want to see a magnificent example of that, head on over to [WhiteHouse.org](http://www.whitehouse.org) and read the 11 pages of random hatemail. ---
**Author:** ![av8rmike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/edb3f5/32.png) [@av8rmike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/av8rmike)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-this-time-i-nearly-screamed-cite-in-church/161841/39 "2003-03-17T21:10:51Z")
For what it’s worth, Christians don’t exactly have a monopoly on passing off glurge as truth. In several synagogues I’ve had that story about Itzhak Perlman breaking a string onstage and still playing the concert told to me as The Honest Truth. Some people just can’t resist a feel-good cripple-doing-more-with-less story, which I’d say cuts across all religious lines. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-this-time-i-nearly-screamed-cite-in-church/161841/40 "2003-03-17T21:50:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lno \* > \*\*I’ve only seen this attributed to [Ma Ferguson, governor of Texas circa 1920](http://maller.com/quotes/default.html?xauth=Ma%20Ferguson%2C%20Gov). There seem to be more quots from her than anyone else online regarding that line, so I’m leaning in that direction. \*\* Thanks, **lno**. Color me enlightened. Now I’m marvelling at Texas having a female governor in the '20’s. Or is “Ma” a man? Off to Google again… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-this-time-i-nearly-screamed-cite-in-church/161841.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-this-time-i-nearly-screamed-cite-in-church/161841.md?page=3)