# OK who took my pen? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 5, 2002, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-took-my-pen/127100 "2002-09-05T06:43:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-took-my-pen/127100/1 "2002-09-05T06:43:44Z")
You know the one I mean, my fav. black pen that never streaks, always runs smoothly. Who took it? ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-took-my-pen/127100/2 "2002-09-05T07:02:32Z")
We have your pen. We are holding it hostage until our demands are met. More will be forthcoming, but please rest assured your pen is safe - for the moment. One of my co-conspirators will be along shortly to present the details of our ransom demands. The Pen-Nappers ---
**Author:** ![Caught\_Work](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/919ad9/32.png) [@Caught\_Work](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caught_Work)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-took-my-pen/127100/3 "2002-09-05T10:52:27Z")
As soon as you wash the dishes your pen will be returned. BWAHAHAHA. ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-took-my-pen/127100/4 "2002-09-05T11:48:50Z")
THAT’s where it went!!! I was writing a check and must have left it at the store. Thanks for letting me borrow it. Um, sorry about the teeth marks on the cap. It’s been a very stressful week. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-took-my-pen/127100/5 "2002-09-05T18:13:59Z")
They lie. I, and other inhabitants of the planet Quog, have taken your pen to our space station to conduct breeding experiments upon it. Our ultimate goal is to produce a race of uber pens to dominate your puny world. Snivel, puny humans, for we…OOOH, DONUTS … mmmm … doughy … ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-took-my-pen/127100/6 "2002-09-05T18:22:56Z")
Reminds me of the doctor, who discovered he was about to try to “sign” a chart with a rectal thermometer, and asked, “I wonder what asshole has my pen?” ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-took-my-pen/127100/7 "2002-09-05T20:08:36Z")
Hey, I had _this_ pen when I logged on. This is _my_ pen, not yours. ---
**Author:** ![AmbushBug](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ambushbug/32/4600_2.png) [@AmbushBug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AmbushBug)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-took-my-pen/127100/8 "2002-09-05T20:26:41Z")
You left it at the business meeting in Sydney, and my coworker picked it up and flew back to the 'States with it. It stopped working, he said. AmbushBug ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-took-my-pen/127100/9 "2002-09-05T20:42:11Z")
Not me, sweetie. Pens? Hmph. Luddite. ---
**Author:** ![h.sapiens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e0b2c6/32.png) [@h.sapiens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h.sapiens)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-took-my-pen/127100/10 "2002-09-05T20:59:39Z")
Hey, someone took _my_ pen, too! I smell a conspiracy. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-took-my-pen/127100/11 "2002-09-05T21:31:04Z")
It’s probably on my desk somewhere, hiding with all the other pens under a pile of paper. If I see it, I’ll send it back to you. BTW, if any of my missing socks show up in your laundry, I’d appreciate it if you’d return them. ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-took-my-pen/127100/12 "2002-09-05T23:05:45Z")
And next time, get one with better tasting ink, fergawdssakes. Went to turn the page in the check book, held the pen in my teeth for just a moment, and goosh. Damned thing exploded. (I did put a new refill cartridge in there, just to let you know.) ---
**Author:** ![Molly\_Coddle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/bcef8e/32.png) [@Molly\_Coddle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Molly_Coddle)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-took-my-pen/127100/13 "2002-09-06T00:15:21Z")
_offers a new pen._ shoot… _offers the whole bag_ ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-took-my-pen/127100/14 "2002-09-06T01:22:25Z")
Thank-you **Molly** but I’m very attached to my pen - which is still missing BTW. ---
**Author:** ![Neptune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5a626/32.png) [@Neptune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neptune)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-took-my-pen/127100/15 "2002-09-06T01:38:38Z")
[http://www.kithaa.com/bruce/mypen.wav](http://www.kithaa.com/bruce/mypen.wav) ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-took-my-pen/127100/16 "2002-09-06T04:56:13Z")
**People who take other people’s pens should be tortured mercilessly… hangings too good for them… they should be ripped up into itty bitty pieces!!!** Did I say that out loud?? ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-took-my-pen/127100/17 "2002-09-06T06:53:03Z")
Pen decided to shack up with calculator. Both are being thoroughly chastised. Pen _should_ know better! Calculator is a cheap slut. ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-took-my-pen/127100/18 "2002-09-06T12:58:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by leechbabe \* > \*\*Pen decided to shack up with calculator. > > Both are being thoroughly chastised. > > Pen _should_ know better! > > Calculator is a cheap slut. \*\* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Now get over here and scrape the tea and toast crumbs outta my keyboard. Seriously, calculator is NOT a cheap slut. Pen is either a gold-digging social-climber in search of status, seeking those with power, or merely out for a one-night cheap thrill, taking advantage of the denizens of the lower classes. My question is, is the calculator one of those really deluxe models that can run either on batteries, solar power and/ or power cord (the kind you find at better electronics stores), or merely one of the battery-operated ones that you can find at any 7-11 for $4.99? If the former, you have a status-seeker pens on your hands. It will start spending above its means, wanting to keep up with its new-found ‘friends’. You’ll find change disappearing from the bootom of your purse, and notice the pen has new accessories - a wooden presentation box, extra refills, new lacquer body casing. If the latter, you find your pen hanging out in the junk drawer wiith the non-refillable stick pens (the 12 per bag sets for $1.99). Next thing you know, you’ll find your favorite pen running with a rough crowd, especially the Sharpie markers (the fine points are bad, but the broad-lines are simply evil). Either way, your pen is gonna break your heart. Don’t plan on any grand-pens anytime soon. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-took-my-pen/127100/19 "2002-09-06T14:17:34Z")
OK, I’ve got all my pens, but who took my stapler?!?!? ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-took-my-pen/127100/20 "2002-09-06T14:37:44Z")
Heh. I now have THREE staple removers on my desk, as well as TWO staplers (not yours, **FCM** - the maroon one is supposed to stay by the copier, but evidently everyone leaves it on my desk ledge). I wanna know what happened to my 8 pack of highlighters. I only have blue, purple, green, pink and orange. I want the others back; the bag looks empty without them. Anyone want some Wite-out? I have four bottles. I’ll trade them for a box of blue gel-pens or one Zebra pen. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-took-my-pen/127100.md?page=2)