# OK, who wants to be my lesbian bride? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 17, 2000, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-wants-to-be-my-lesbian-bride/37209 "2000-10-17T01:57:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-wants-to-be-my-lesbian-bride/37209/21 "2000-10-17T04:20:38Z")
So thus far I have only **three bunny mama** willing to take the plunge? And she’s more interested in a one-night stand (sniff!) Wow. Are my standards too high? **Andygirl**? Can you, me, and **quietgirl** just live in sin? Covered in “four” (I meant “flour”, but oh well, whatever works…)? And **Drain** - I like _some_ football, but it sounds like with you I would be a football widow, so I don’t think it would work out… **Celyn** - go see “Meet the Parents” and you’ll learn aaaallll about Jinxy the Cat… ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-wants-to-be-my-lesbian-bride/37209/22 "2000-10-17T07:30:38Z")
Ooooh, oooooh, ooooooooh!!! Can I do it? Can I? Can I? Can I? Please!!! I wanna virtually marry Anth in the SDMB first same sex marriage!!! ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-wants-to-be-my-lesbian-bride/37209/23 "2000-10-17T10:32:44Z")
[hijack]Spiderwoman - you pipe _and_ do limericks? I thought I was the only one![/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-wants-to-be-my-lesbian-bride/37209/24 "2000-10-17T11:06:57Z")
I only virtually pipe; but I used to play my oboe, which is a double reed. Maybe we could play a duet at the back of the virtual church, but it couldn’t sound too mournful. We’ll have to let Anthracite decide. And speaking of letting her decide, who will be the virtual bride? She should someone be readying if there’s to be a wedding So evilbeth will get to preside. -----😛 —////\\ [&][hat for andygirl] ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-wants-to-be-my-lesbian-bride/37209/25 "2000-10-17T11:39:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by evilbeth \* > \*\*Ooooh, oooooh, ooooooooh!!! Can I do it? Can I? Can I? Can I? Please!!! I wanna virtually marry Anth in the SDMB first same sex marriage!!! \*\* Dear Beth, You are tops on my list right now. Now I have to see if **andygirl** approves of you… 😉 Your excited potential bride, Una ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-wants-to-be-my-lesbian-bride/37209/26 "2000-10-17T11:48:58Z")
Ooops, now I get it. So if evilbeth gets to be the bride, will Max Torque do the honors? Has anyone asked him? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-wants-to-be-my-lesbian-bride/37209/27 "2000-10-17T17:07:00Z")
Well, I’m not a woman, so I can’t marry Anthracite. And I’m not effeminate, so I can’t be a bride-guy. And I’m not a cat, so I can’t be the ring bearer. And I’m not MaxTorque or a clergyman, so I can’t perform the ceremony. And I don’t live in Vermont, so I won’t even be able to attend the wedding. But can I please come to the lesbian bachelorette party? ---
**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-wants-to-be-my-lesbian-bride/37209/28 "2000-10-17T17:35:27Z")
_sniff_ I’m allergic to actual cats, but not virtual ones. Can i at least ne a virtual witness? ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-wants-to-be-my-lesbian-bride/37209/29 "2000-10-17T17:43:23Z")
Well, I fit numbers two through seven. I like cats, I’m neat, and enjoy a healthy quantity of sex. No wonder Matt wanted to marry me. ---
**Author:** ![dragonlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@dragonlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragonlady)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-wants-to-be-my-lesbian-bride/37209/30 "2000-10-17T18:34:32Z")
Anth, We’ve never met, never exchanged more than a few words, (but they WERE about coal) I read the pit thread, love cats, (but also own a small dog, Tatertot II) BUT (there’s always a but, isn’t there?) I’m not a lesbian. I have had some bi-sex, and am willing to go again though… I have been celibate since my SO died 5 years ago. I have my own emotional baggage, not a neat little carry-on, but that’ll be me dragging the steamer trunk of emotional baggage, so we should have lots to talk about. How about it??? Debbi ---
**Author:** ![dragonlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@dragonlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragonlady)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-wants-to-be-my-lesbian-bride/37209/31 "2000-10-17T18:36:28Z")
Better turn the email alert, just in case! ---
**Author:** ![vix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a88e4f/32.png) [@vix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vix)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-wants-to-be-my-lesbian-bride/37209/32 "2000-10-17T20:23:19Z")
Well, it looks like I’m a little late, but I’ll jump into the fray, **Anthracite**. I’ll be your lesbian bride! Or, if you don’t mind, your bisexual bride. I fit all of your criteria, especially number 7. 😉 (I do have to admit that my feet are quite ticklish, so foot massage might be out for me, but I’ve been told that I give incredible back and hand massages.) If you’ve already chosen your happy bride-to-be, I’d love to be a bridesmaid. Can I wear flowers in my hair? ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-wants-to-be-my-lesbian-bride/37209/33 "2000-10-17T21:36:06Z")
WOW. So many tempting offers. I will ponder this while I make a din-din that doesn’t aggravate my newly-empty wisdom tooth sockets, and then reply to you fine ladies. Una ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-wants-to-be-my-lesbian-bride/37209/34 "2000-10-17T22:21:03Z")
I’m not gay, but I’m learning to embroider-so can I design and help with the dresses? I love clothes and fancy formals! ---
**Author:** ![Palmyra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/57b2e6/32.png) [@Palmyra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palmyra)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-wants-to-be-my-lesbian-bride/37209/35 "2000-10-17T22:33:29Z")
_1) You must be female (sorry guys…)_ yes _2) You must like cats._ yes, very much _3) You must have read my recent Pit thread deconstruction and decided that I really am not such a bad person after all. Or if so, that you are willing to change me…_ sure _4) No IV drug users._ no way in hell _5) Age - from 16 to 56._ 20 _6) Weight, height, appearance - irrelevant. However, you must be clean. 🙂_ okay _7) Sexual appetite - must be willing to make love at least once a day average, much more on weekends and holidays. Must like receiving sensual foot and leg massages, neck nibbling, tummy rubs, ear licking, soft bites, and multiple orgasms._ who wouldn’t? funny, never thought i was gay… really into guys… hmmmm, and i’m getting virtually married on saturday… oh what the hell! ---
**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-wants-to-be-my-lesbian-bride/37209/36 "2000-10-17T23:15:52Z")
I’ll throw my gaily colored hat into the ring… But YOU have to like dogs. Uh, not me, I’m not a dog! I mean my dog… 🙂 and yes, she likes cats; we have three of them! ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-wants-to-be-my-lesbian-bride/37209/37 "2000-10-17T23:30:48Z")
I’d like to be the best man, however, I won’t be able to prove it. ---
**Author:** ![dragonlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@dragonlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragonlady)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-wants-to-be-my-lesbian-bride/37209/38 "2000-10-17T23:58:02Z")
Handy, In order to rule you the BEST man, I will have to check out any OTHER men who might wish to participate… (Hey, I claimed to have no problem being _BI_) ---
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-wants-to-be-my-lesbian-bride/37209/39 "2000-10-18T02:00:45Z")
Anth! Can I be your adopted kid? I am 15, and a guy. I also wanna watch andygirl and quietgirl 🙂 Just look at my picture on my sig and tell me that I am not the cutest little thing you would want as a son. And I love cats. And I would leave the toilet seat down or up, depending on how you want it. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-wants-to-be-my-lesbian-bride/37209/40 "2000-10-18T03:56:57Z")
Well, **andygirl** hasn’t weighed in yet, but the choices are now: **three bunny mama** (who just wants a one-night stand, maybe…) **evilbeth** - who has wooed me via e-mail before, and makes my heart flutter **dragonlady** - who asked about coal, has a dog but likes cats, and needs love and healing (as do I) **vix** - who has ticklish feet, and sounds like she loves sex! **Byzantine** - a strong woman who would dominate me, and make me her little dumpling… **Palmyra** - who is already spoken for, but may be interested in Polygamy… and several nice gals and guys offering to help, or at least watch. 😃 So, **andygirl** , I challenge you - which ones should I consider? Can we narrow it to 2 or 3? Just please pick someone who will accept me, and love me, and allow themselves to be loved in return… 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-wants-to-be-my-lesbian-bride/37209.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-who-wants-to-be-my-lesbian-bride/37209.md?page=3)