# Ok whos the asshole here? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 9, 2021, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-whos-the-asshole-here/946042 "2021-07-09T00:32:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-whos-the-asshole-here/946042/1 "2021-07-09T00:32:20Z")
heres the story : > **[Teenager blown away by parents’ ‘outrageous’ rent payment request: ‘It’s an...](https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/teenager-blown-away-parents-outrageous-213721788.html)** > > An 18-year-old is struggling with his decision to move out of his parent's house, and Reddit is totally on his side! Now i went in this thinking ok another entitled brat story but after reading what the parents expected him to do I’m siding with the kid… So what say the teeming millions? ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-whos-the-asshole-here/946042/2 "2021-07-09T00:39:34Z")
Based on the article, the parents are assholes. Hopefully there is more to the story, but no defense for the parents in this case. Every bit paints them as jerks and idiots. BUT, we have nothing from their side. No objective reporting and that is today’s world. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-whos-the-asshole-here/946042/3 "2021-07-09T00:44:09Z")
Tl;dr: Parents demanded $1,300 per month plus utilities for one room shared with a sibling. That’s a lot of scratch for an 18-year-old to come up with. ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-whos-the-asshole-here/946042/4 "2021-07-09T00:46:37Z")
well supposedly they wanted that amount because they needed help with bills and the mortgage but still… ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-whos-the-asshole-here/946042/5 "2021-07-09T00:49:36Z")
The douchebag parents had the balls to play the “selfish” card. Damn right the kid’s “selfish” - looking out for his own best interest instead of sacrificing it to his parents’ unfair demands. In the future, he’s gonna view moving out as one of the smartest things he’s ever done. I just hope they don’t come back, hat in hand, when they’re older. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-whos-the-asshole-here/946042/6 "2021-07-09T01:08:08Z")
> [@nightshadea](#): > > well supposedly they wanted that amount because they needed help with bills and the mortgage but still… If they can’t afford the place even after their son moved out and so is off the grocery bill, it’s their own damn fault. If you tell someone “Choose A or B,” you can 't get angry when they do exactly what you asked. ---
**Author:** ![Tabco](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tabco/32/7644_2.png) [@Tabco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabco)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-whos-the-asshole-here/946042/7 "2021-07-09T01:14:05Z")
I don’t really see a problem with parents having that discussion with their just-turned-18 kids. That being said, I think the figures given are very competitive with the local market (if the kid’s telling the truth) so I don’t know why the parents felt that was a reasonable amount. That’s one thing, but the fact that his parents became upset with him when he decided to move out instead is even less reasonable in my opinion. If indeed his parents were struggling with the mortgage and were counting on his financial support, that’s a discussion they need to have with him ahead of time. I turned 18 when I was still in high school. As soon as I did, my dad often declared he could kick me out of the house whenever he wanted and there was nothing I could do about it. I don’t know if that was true but at the time it was not the kind of axe I needed hanging over me. ---
**Author:** ![Madam\_Librarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madam_librarian/32/3123_2.png) [@Madam\_Librarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madam_Librarian)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-whos-the-asshole-here/946042/8 "2021-07-09T02:42:27Z")
That’s pretty much what my parents did once I graduated from high school. I was going to college and working a part-time job when they decided to “introduce me to adulthood” by charging me the going rental rate of a small apartment. I was still expected to 1) share my room with my much younger sister, 2) participate in all family events, and 3) still do household chores (dishes, laundry, grocery shopping, and drive my younger siblings around). I did what I could to save money and luckily, promoted at work into a full-time position, and moved out two months before my twentieth birthday. They allowed my brothers to live at home – rent free – until they had finished college. ---
**Author:** ![JaneDoe42](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janedoe42/32/14104_2.png) [@JaneDoe42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JaneDoe42)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-whos-the-asshole-here/946042/9 "2021-07-09T03:23:28Z")
Perhaps your response also included not doing all family events which made them think a little? OTOH, my grandfather wouldn’t let my mother or aunt go to college because she didn’t need it. He paid for my uncle’s college and didn’t want him to work so he could focus on his studies. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-whos-the-asshole-here/946042/10 "2021-07-09T03:40:23Z")
The parents are jerks. They wanted him to pay 1/2 their expenses, for a family of four. So they’d pay 50% for three people, and he’d pay 50% for himself. Nope. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-whos-the-asshole-here/946042/11 "2021-07-09T03:46:34Z")
> [@Tabco](#): > > I turned 18 when I was still in high school. As soon as I did, my dad often declared he could kick me out of the house whenever he wanted and there was nothing I could do about it. I was raised with the expectation that I would be 100% self - sufficient by my 18th birthday. I ended up leaving when I was 17 to move in with my Aunt. She did not charge me rent but she was dirt poor so she needed help with utilities and I had to supply my own food. Basically I paid my way for everything but rent. It was hard enough trying to finish high school while working to pay my bills. Rent would have crushed me. The parents are the assholes. Your children do not exist to subsidize your housing. I think a token rent would be reasonable but the whole point of letting kids stay home is so they can save up money. The guilt trip is just icing on the asshole cake. That kid was smart to get out. ---
**Author:** ![Tabco](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tabco/32/7644_2.png) [@Tabco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabco)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-whos-the-asshole-here/946042/12 "2021-07-09T03:48:26Z")
> [@Tabco](#): > > That being said, I think the figures given are very competitive with the local market (if the kid’s telling the truth) so I don’t know why the parents felt that was a reasonable amount. I meant to say here that I _don’t_ think the parents’ suggested rent was very competitive. Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-whos-the-asshole-here/946042/13 "2021-07-09T03:57:10Z")
Parents are jerks on the face of it. OK, not my thing, but I wouldn’t argue with parents wanting to give kids a life lesson and asking for partial payment in line with what the kidlet can afford on the part time joe job before going to University. My parents were barely middle class. Contributed zero to my going to university. Yet, I had the backstop that if I needed a roof and meals, I could return to bumfuckistan and not be homeless. That was huge. There are plenty of parents that charge some rent and expenses, and put it into a savings account that they give to the kid when getting married or somesuch adult milestone. That’s cool too. And I’m good with struggling parents that really could use a little extra. But this just seems over the top based on the one sided reporting… ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-whos-the-asshole-here/946042/14 "2021-07-09T04:24:49Z")
How likely is is that an 18-year-old can get a job that will net them $1,300 a month after taxes? (I know that prices vary widely by market, but [in my area](https://www.rentcafe.com/average-rent-market-trends/us/sc/anderson/) you can apparently get around 900 square feet for around $900.) ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-whos-the-asshole-here/946042/15 "2021-07-09T04:36:47Z")
Well, that and he’s expected to be going to college. I mean, it’s possible, but it’s rough. And for $1300 – damn – we rent out a one-bedroom 1050 ft2 apartment near the University of Chicago for less than that. With the story as given (which I can’t really say I’m really convinced is real, but I’ll treat it as being true in all details) – is there anybody who is going to side with the parents? I’m not going to say they’re necessarily assholes, but their behavior is bizarre. They were the ones who said if you wanna stay here pay up or get out; he didn’t like their terms – it doesn’t really matter if the amount was absurdly expensive or not. He preferred to stay elsewhere. College is a fun time to live away from your parents, anyway. The bizarre part is, of course, the parents being peeved by this when it’s them who came up with the conditions. Of course the kid did nothing wrong; he didn’t do anything spiteful; he just made a sensible economic and social decision. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-whos-the-asshole-here/946042/16 "2021-07-09T05:07:16Z")
> [@JaneDoe42](#): > > OTOH, my grandfather wouldn’t let my mother or aunt go to college because she didn’t need it. He paid for my uncle’s college and didn’t want him to work so he could focus on his studies. Same thing happened with **DesertWife** ’s parents back in the mid-60s. They paid for her brother’s college education but none of the three daughters. One sister wanted to be – and became – a farm wife but the other two paid their own way to four-year degrees. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-whos-the-asshole-here/946042/17 "2021-07-09T05:55:14Z")
Knee-jerk reaction to this question is always, _“I am.”_ ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-whos-the-asshole-here/946042/18 "2021-07-09T10:15:29Z")
Not in this case, as given, though. “They” are. Does this happen a lot in the USA? Kids working to pay for rent while studying at Uni, I mean? ---
**Author:** ![DemonTree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demontree/32/8646_2.png) [@DemonTree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DemonTree)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-whos-the-asshole-here/946042/19 "2021-07-09T10:41:25Z")
I remember reading that one on Reddit. The parents are totally unreasonable if it’s true. Reminds me of something I overheard once that was at the other extreme of outrageousness: an 18 year old girl complaining that her mother had asked for some minimal contribution towards expenses; she was living at home and paying no rent or bills, still getting all meals cooked for her etc, and had left school and was employed full time. The girl was angry because this modest demand would cut into her spending her entire salary on clubbing and having fun. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-whos-the-asshole-here/946042/20 "2021-07-09T10:55:50Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Does this happen a lot in the USA? Kids working to pay for rent while studying at Uni, I mean? It never happened to anyone I personally knew at that age. I think that for the most part the people demanding rent or getting out at 18 are damaged assholes. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-whos-the-asshole-here/946042.md?page=2)