# OK, you love Jesus. We get it already! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 19, 2002, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-you-love-jesus-we-get-it-already/137532 "2002-11-19T15:28:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Swampwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Swampwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swampwolf)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-you-love-jesus-we-get-it-already/137532/1 "2002-11-19T15:28:51Z")
I just went out into the parking lot for a quick break, and I saw a van with some bumper stickers praising Jesus. Okay, not “some” bumper stickers…20. Twenty fucking bumper stickers, all stating essentially the same thing. \ Now, I understand. You love Jesus. Jesus loves you. Everyone else is wrong. You have every right to believe these things, no matter how superstitious or single-minded I may think you are. But still, **20 bumper stickers!** Don’t you think you’re overdoing it a little? I mean, relax…take a moment and think about it. Stating your beliefs is fine. Stating them over and over and over again is a little over the top, hmmm? What is this, anyway? Lorne Michaels does the PTL Club? C’mon, show a little restraint! You’ve said it once; you’ve said it twice for the slow people. you don’t need to make your car look like a born-again shelf paper experiment, for cryin’ out loud! Enough already! Have a little taste, _please!_ ---
**Author:** ![Stupendous\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Stupendous\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stupendous_man)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-you-love-jesus-we-get-it-already/137532/2 "2002-11-19T15:30:43Z")
Maybe the stickers are holding the car together… ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-you-love-jesus-we-get-it-already/137532/3 "2002-11-19T15:32:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by blessedwolf \* > **born-again shelf paper experiment** I am intrigued by your product concept and would like to learn more. (Forgive a bit of inane levity before the Bible Brigade arrives.) ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-you-love-jesus-we-get-it-already/137532/4 "2002-11-19T15:36:49Z")
See, when he only had 18 or 19 bumper stickers on, Jesus started sulking. “You don’t _really_ love me at all, _do_ you? That guy down the block has _28_ bumper stickers and a _fish decal_ . . . But that’s alright . . . Don’t worry about me . . . Just go on and do your errands, I’ll sit here in the dark and eat cigarette butts like a dog . . .” ---
**Author:** ![Swampwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Swampwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swampwolf)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-you-love-jesus-we-get-it-already/137532/5 "2002-11-19T15:38:13Z")
[quote] **Maybe the stickers are holding the car together…** Naah. It’s a fairly new van, in good condition…to be fair, at least the bumper stickers were symmetrical, leaving an aesthetically pleasing bad taste in my mouth. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by apotheosis \* > \*\*I am intrigued by your product concept and would like to learn more. > > (Forgive a bit of inane levity before the Bible Brigade arrives.) \*\* Well, who wouldn’t want to be crucified on a cross covered in duckies and bunnies? ---
**Author:** ![Swampwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Swampwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swampwolf)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-you-love-jesus-we-get-it-already/137532/6 "2002-11-19T15:41:00Z")
Damn coding. Mods? little help please? Apparently, I’m too riled about this to preview. > [@](#): > > Maybe the stickers are holding the car together… Naah. It’s a fairly new van, in good condition…to be fair, at least the bumper stickers were symmetrical, leaving an aesthetically pleasing bad taste in my mouth. > [@](#): > > Originally posted by apotheosis > I am intrigued by your product concept and would like to learn more. > > (Forgive a bit of inane levity before the Bible Brigade arrives.) Well, who wouldn’t want to be crucified on a cross covered in duckies and bunnies? ---
**Author:** ![EchoKitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@EchoKitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EchoKitty)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-you-love-jesus-we-get-it-already/137532/7 "2002-11-19T15:45:08Z")
Maybe the BAAAABY JAYZUZ didn’t hear them after the first sticker! “I can’t SEEEEEEEEEEEEEE it! More STIIIIIIICKERS please! I’m waaaaaiting!” ---
**Author:** ![IzzyR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/2acd7d/32.png) [@IzzyR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IzzyR)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-you-love-jesus-we-get-it-already/137532/8 "2002-11-19T15:45:23Z")
What’s it to you what someone else has on their van? Let’s have some tolerance here. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-you-love-jesus-we-get-it-already/137532/9 "2002-11-19T15:47:14Z")
This reminds me of the last family reunion I attended. When I left the house to walk back to our truck, I discovered that three other trucks of the same make, model, and color as ours had decided to park alongside us. It was very easy to tell ours apart from the rest though–our truck was the one that didn’t have a fish on the back door. ---
**Author:** ![Slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-you-love-jesus-we-get-it-already/137532/10 "2002-11-19T15:52:37Z")
Bender: “There! That’ll convert a few tailgaters!” ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-you-love-jesus-we-get-it-already/137532/11 "2002-11-19T15:54:03Z")
Putting a bumper sticker on your car is easier than loving your neighbor. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-you-love-jesus-we-get-it-already/137532/12 "2002-11-19T15:56:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Legomancer \* > \*\*Putting a bumper sticker on your car is easier than loving your neighbor. \*\* No way - my neighbour is hot! ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-you-love-jesus-we-get-it-already/137532/13 "2002-11-19T15:57:15Z")
I’ve always thought that God didn’t really need PR agents. Bumper stickers in general suck; religious based bumper stickers really suck. MHO, YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-you-love-jesus-we-get-it-already/137532/14 "2002-11-19T16:06:32Z")
Kinda makes sense though… you’ll often see a sticker proclaiming “I survived the Hairy Noodle rollercoaster at So-And-So Park” on one side and a “Thank you Jesus” on the other. They fit like cheese and wine baby, cheese and wine. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-you-love-jesus-we-get-it-already/137532/15 "2002-11-19T16:26:42Z")
I remember when I was a kid, anytime I did something wrong and my mom confronted me about it, I would deny it over and over again. “I didn’t do it! No, I really didn’t do it! I promise I didn’t do it, Mom!” And the more I said it, the more she didn’t believe me. I wonder how much this guy _really_ loves Jesus… ---
**Author:** ![singular1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ba9def/32.png) [@singular1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/singular1)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-you-love-jesus-we-get-it-already/137532/16 "2002-11-19T16:42:29Z")
You see, the minimum number of pieces of Jesus Flair is 12. You can use just the minimum if you want, but you see that van over there? ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-you-love-jesus-we-get-it-already/137532/17 "2002-11-19T16:48:02Z")
A saw this bumper sticker a few days ago: I love Jesus–and I use protection shooting frappichino out of your nose hurts ☹ ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-you-love-jesus-we-get-it-already/137532/18 "2002-11-19T16:53:53Z")
> [@](#): > > born-again shelf paper experiment That would make a great band name. I did that for **elf6c** , 'cause he has a great rant in [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=144968) thread. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-you-love-jesus-we-get-it-already/137532/19 "2002-11-19T16:59:16Z")
put 20 stickers on _one_ van? Me thinks they doth protest too much. I would like to ask them (or axe 'em for the liguinsts among y’all), “What would Jesus do with your van?” ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-you-love-jesus-we-get-it-already/137532/20 "2002-11-19T17:09:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by blessedwolf \* > \*\*You’ve said it once; you’ve said it twice for the slow people. you don’t need to make your car look like a born-again shelf paper experiment, for cryin’ out loud! Enough already! Have a little taste, _please!_ \*\* Okay, **blessedwolf,** rant all you want, but after the Rapture, _you_ get to drive this guy’s van. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-you-love-jesus-we-get-it-already/137532.md?page=2)