# Okay, dammit, let's talk about shoes off or on in the house **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 4, 2007, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-dammit-lets-talk-about-shoes-off-or-on-in-the-house/402791 "2007-05-04T19:05:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-dammit-lets-talk-about-shoes-off-or-on-in-the-house/402791/81 "2007-05-05T14:50:08Z")
[QUOTE=GingerOfTheNorth] Mom-in-law gets up, gets dressed, and the shoes go on; they don’t come off until it’s bedtime. [/QUOTE] I just can’t even imagine that. That would be like torture to me. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-dammit-lets-talk-about-shoes-off-or-on-in-the-house/402791/82 "2007-05-05T14:57:27Z")
I would not want to put a guest in a position where they would have to reveal “sick” feet, either visually or by ‘fessin’ up to it. I don’t ask anyone to take their shoes off. If they’re muddy, they’re quarantined to the kitchen until they clean them off. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-dammit-lets-talk-about-shoes-off-or-on-in-the-house/402791/83 "2007-05-05T15:08:45Z")
[QUOTE=TheLoadedDog] Also, working on the assumption that the shoes-off people want them off, and the shoes-on people are really actually “don’t care” people (I’m unaware of any culture or subculture that INSISTS on shoes on in the house), it’s easiest for guest and host alike to default to shoes off. And it’s _cleaner_, dammit. [/QUOTE] I don’t think any of that is a safe assumption at all. Aversion to feet, even if they are encased in stinky socks isn’t all all rare and some people have are offended by the odor. Furthermore, in the U.S., we have “No shirt, No shoes, No service” signs in stores and restaurants which leads people to believe that it is deviant and unhealthy behavior. There are also plenty of hillybilly and redneck jokes and stereotypes that make fun of people not wearing shoes. Taking off and putting your shoes back on all the time is a hassle in general and seems to cater to the neurotic and prissy white carpet crown. That is just the beginning. Shoes on people are far from neutral every though everyone has their shoes in the house off sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-dammit-lets-talk-about-shoes-off-or-on-in-the-house/402791/84 "2007-05-05T15:19:32Z")
I always buy shoes that are specifically easy and fast to take on and off. Also, my feet have no odor. I’d be more concerned about taking my shoes off when I wasn’t home if they did, but honestly, I can wear boots all day (boots are the one time I don’t take off my shoes constantly because it’s a pain in the butt) and my socks will still smell like Tide. The only way I can tell my clean socks from my dirty ones is by seeing if they’re stretched out a little. ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-dammit-lets-talk-about-shoes-off-or-on-in-the-house/402791/85 "2007-05-05T15:28:26Z")
I grew up in a shoes off household. My mother is German and is a cleanliness nut. When I bought this house, I tried to institute a shoes off rule, but didn’t get rude with guests when they didn’t do it. Above all, I want my guests to be comfortable. It’s not worth getting upset over. Those who know me well, know what to do and just do it without even asking about it. You know who the biggest rule breaker is, though? My freakin’ mother. She claims her shoes don’t track in that much. Um, excuse me, Mom, you work at the mall, traipse across a wet, oily, parking lot, and then want walk across my carpet in those shoes. Yeah, right. Yes, she has left stains. FWIW, I’ve given up and have taken to steam cleaning my carpets every few months. ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-dammit-lets-talk-about-shoes-off-or-on-in-the-house/402791/86 "2007-05-05T15:36:02Z")
[QUOTE=Sublight] For **China Guy** , **HazelNutCoffee** and all the other Dopers living in Asia, do you feel a twinge of discomfort watching American TV or movies, when (and for some reason it seems to happen very frequently) there’s a scene with a kid going to his room and getting on his bed still wearing shoes? [/QUOTE] No, movies don’t bother me. Well, maybe they do, I’ll have to pay attention next time. However, I do find it wierd back in the US and wearing shoes in peoples homes. I feel, dunno, vaguely uncomfortable or unsettled. I’ve done the shoes off thing for the past 20 years. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-dammit-lets-talk-about-shoes-off-or-on-in-the-house/402791/87 "2007-05-05T15:48:18Z")
China Guy: Do you feel, when wearing shoes in someone’s house, like it means you won’t be staying long? Because that’s always how I feel. Like shoes on = prepared to leave. ---
**Author:** ![Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c4cdca/32.png) [@Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quiddity_Glomfuster)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-dammit-lets-talk-about-shoes-off-or-on-in-the-house/402791/88 "2007-05-05T15:56:04Z")
[QUOTE=enipla] I’m not a germ-a-phobe. Not at all. But I do know that I do have flare ups of athletes foot. I don’t wan’t to impart that on you or your next guest. And I sure don’t want to get it from the previous one and ware their slippers. [/QUOTE] So take your own slippers. Toss a pair in the trunk to use for visiting folks. There’s plenty of shoelike slippers that would fill the bill nicely. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-dammit-lets-talk-about-shoes-off-or-on-in-the-house/402791/89 "2007-05-05T16:23:51Z")
[QUOTE=Quiddity Glomfuster] So take your own slippers. Toss a pair in the trunk to use for visiting folks. There’s plenty of shoelike slippers that would fill the bill nicely. [/QUOTE] I would never in a million years think to do this. If I can’t wear the shoes that I purposely picked out for that day, there is no way I’m going to carry around freakin’ slippers. Perhaps we should all have “travelling” shoes that we can wear from the house to the car and the car to the house and then change into sparkling brand-new shoes once we get there? Would shoes off people mind that? It all seems over-the-top to me. If you are so worried that guests might get a little dirt on your carpet then perhaps you should stick to going to other people’s houses instead of inviting them to yours. Or you could go out. That way you don’t have to worry about your carpet and they can still be comfortable. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-dammit-lets-talk-about-shoes-off-or-on-in-the-house/402791/90 "2007-05-05T16:40:56Z")
[QUOTE=Sublight] For **China Guy** , **HazelNutCoffee** and all the other Dopers living in Asia, do you feel a twinge of discomfort watching American TV or movies, when (and for some reason it seems to happen very frequently) there’s a scene with a kid going to his room and getting on his bed still wearing shoes? Mrs. Sub were watching a video that had a scene like this, and she turned asked semi-seriously, “do you do that when I’m not at home?” [/QUOTE] (Don’t live in Asia currently, but did for the past 11 years.) I’ve always thought it was weird. My friends say that you know it’s been a bad night when you wake up and have your shoes on, but even on my very worst nights I have never fallen asleep before taking my shoes off. How does that even happen? I’d never be able to fall asleep with my feet shod. Not to mention the fact that it sounds gross. I don’t mind shoes on floors, maybe even on chairs, but the bed is where I draw the line. Despite the fact that I’ve grown up in a shoes-off household, I actually don’t mind too much keeping my shoes on in someone else’s house. I’m very short and a bit flat-footed, so wearing heels makes me feel more co-ordinated when I’m walking around. Of course, if it’s a handful of close friends and we’re just having a few beers at someone’s place, I’ll take my shoes off and get comfortable. I’m not a shoes facist. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-dammit-lets-talk-about-shoes-off-or-on-in-the-house/402791/91 "2007-05-05T19:09:16Z")
I think a common mis-perception we’re running into here is that people are asked to take off their shoes - actually, there is almost no asking other people to take off their shoes while visiting. You take your shoes off automatically when you go to someone else’s house; if you left your shoes on, you wouldn’t be ostracized or anything, but considering what most people wear on their feet in winter (big, clunky winter boots), it is pretty much a non-issue. It doesn’t seem “over the top” to people who live and have grown up in the culture; it’s just the way we do things here. We have “no shirt, no shoes, no service” signs here, too. People don’t tend to leave the house without their shoes on, though, any more than shoes on people do. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-dammit-lets-talk-about-shoes-off-or-on-in-the-house/402791/92 "2007-05-05T19:21:56Z")
[QUOTE=cher3] I don’t see that it’s been brought up yet, but there are some diabetics like my father that have to wear some type of shoe basically whenever they are up and about. It has to be something with a sturdy structure, too–not just regular slippers. Any type of injury to an extremity can be very bad news to diabetics and protecting the feet as much as possible is crucial. [/QUOTE] As mentioned in the hijack of the IMHO thread, there is plenty of common sense doled out when it comes to no-shoes households. Here in the big city, there is far too much dog crap, pigeon crap, and people hawking looeys ont the sidewalks for me to want people wearing shoes on my rug. The hardwood, I don’t care, but my finacee and I foften lie on the rug to read a book or watch a movie and I don’t like the idea of lying on all that crud from the sidewalk. (And yeah, we wipe the dog’s feet with damp towels at the door. He likes mud.) However, I never _ever_ would have asked my elderly ex’s step-dad to remove his shoes in my place. After his stroke he was none too steady on his feet, and good footwear helped in that respect. He also became clumsy enough, he’d likely bash his wrinkley old toes on the furniture if we’d insisted on stocking feet. Even in winter, he could keep his shoes on. We assume that anyone who really balks at the idea of taking their shoes off has some good reason and we make an exception without pursuing the details. (“Why got a wicked case of athlete’s foot, do ya?”) > [@tbdi](#): > > When visiting somebody else I’d never consider taking off my shoes unless they specifically asked me to and then I’d probably avoid going there again. Anybody that concerned about a little dirt getting tracked in is not likely to be somebody I can be comfortable with. Wow. Well, that’s suits us just fine. We also don’t allow people to smoke in our house and if you’re going to set your beer down on the antique coffee table I inherited from my great grandmother, you absolutely _must_ use a coaster. Being a “guest” does not entitle you to completely disregard the reasonable\* household rules of your hosts, or potentially damage their property with impunity. ETA: \*“Reasonable” being, well, “reasonable”. If the household rules were “no clothes” or “mandatory drinking of cow’s blood”, I’d be heading home. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-dammit-lets-talk-about-shoes-off-or-on-in-the-house/402791/93 "2007-05-05T20:05:22Z")
:: ahem :: Back to clarify. **tbdi** I didn’t mean to imply that you had an unreasonable sense of entitlement (I realized that my previous post sounded like a major over-reaction). It’s just that there was the implication that a “no shoes” request was somehow “too uptight, don’t wanna hang aorund with folks that uptight.” I finally got around to skimming through the original, heated IMHO thread, and I found it odd that there were some who stated roughly: “If people think their _carpet_ is more important than _my comfort_ as their guest, well, clearly they aren’t really my friends.” And that’s rather silly. As a guest, you are welcome into my home and will be treated as a member of the family. My family doesn’t wear shoes in the house. Common sense applies. **tdni** , if you tell me you are uncomfortable with removing your shoes, I’d surely make an exception (it wouldn’t feel at all right to _make_ someone remove their footwear, if they have indicated they would be quite uncomfortable doing so). Someone else may have more stringent religious or cutlural reasons for asking you to and it may not be negotiable. And if you really weren’t comfortable with that, then you should chalk it up to an incompatibility and are right not to return to visit their home. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-dammit-lets-talk-about-shoes-off-or-on-in-the-house/402791/94 "2007-05-05T20:15:38Z")
To me, it’s not a case of “too uptight” as it would feel embarassing to me. It would feel awkward to go shoeless as a first-time guest. Like you said, though **Swallowed** , there are degrees of familiarity with different guests. And I suppose I would get used to the notion. The practice does seem to make sense in “the big city” or in snowy/muddy climates. I’m still wondering about the dog hair. Don’t your socks get fuzzy? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-dammit-lets-talk-about-shoes-off-or-on-in-the-house/402791/95 "2007-05-05T20:36:16Z")
Why is it that the shoes off crowd sounds so concerned about GERMS and DIRT and yet they aren’t worried about me either catching or spreading my athlete’s foot in their slippers or on their rugs??? ---
**Author:** ![Shamozzle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shamozzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shamozzle)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-dammit-lets-talk-about-shoes-off-or-on-in-the-house/402791/96 "2007-05-05T20:36:40Z")
I grew up in and live in Western Canada. Middle-class white guy, European ancestry. I would never DREAM of leaving my shoes on in my house or in someone else’s house. If you invited me to keep my shoes on in your home, I would be very uncomfortable moving around your house. I would feel like I was destroying it. Unless you had hardwood floors everywhere. Then again, if people wear outdoor shoes in your home I would imagine your carpets are already toast. Is that true? Honestly, tell me how they couldn’t be. If you came into my home and you didn’t remove your shoes, I would automatically assume you had brain damage. I’m thinking of the dozen-or-so homes I’ve entered recently (parents, friends, relatives, partner’s parents, etc…). These are all “shoes off” homes. Right now, without question, foregone conclusion. For people who wear their shoes in the house, I’m wondering: Are your carpets filthy? Do you ever find dog poop mashed into the carpet in your bedroom? Not trying to be a smart ass, those are honest questions. Now, I’m speaking from a “Hey, let’s have some friends and family over for coffee/dinner/football game” perspective. If we are to talk about “large-scale”, semi-formal dinner parties, etc… Then I don’t really have any answers. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-dammit-lets-talk-about-shoes-off-or-on-in-the-house/402791/97 "2007-05-05T20:41:57Z")
My carpets are not filthy. Why are you shoes off people so convinced that we are filthy? I’m like whoever above said, I invested in a vacuum cleaner and mops when I moved here. Lots of value judging going on here… ---
**Author:** ![Shamozzle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shamozzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shamozzle)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-dammit-lets-talk-about-shoes-off-or-on-in-the-house/402791/98 "2007-05-05T20:48:05Z")
[QUOTE=kayT] My carpets are not filthy. Why are you shoes off people so convinced that we are filthy? I’m like whoever above said, I invested in a vacuum cleaner and mops when I moved here. Lots of value judging going on here… [/QUOTE] No, I’m not value judging, honestly. I’m genuinely confused. I’m convinced that outdoors shoes, in general, are filthy. Ok, so you’ve got a vacuum cleaner and a mop. But in between cleaning sessions aren’t your floors and carpets filthy? Honest question. And still, there have got to be some stains that are tracked in that can’t be removed by basic cleaning: “Damn, where did I step in… What is that, motor oil?”, etc.. Is it like that? What am I missing? ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-dammit-lets-talk-about-shoes-off-or-on-in-the-house/402791/99 "2007-05-05T20:50:51Z")
I wipe my feet at the door. Honestly, my carpets are not filthy. Check your shoes right now and see if they are really filthy. If so you live in a dirtier place than I do I guess, because mine are not. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-dammit-lets-talk-about-shoes-off-or-on-in-the-house/402791/100 "2007-05-05T20:51:42Z")
[QUOTE=Shamozzle] Are your carpets filthy? Do you ever find dog poop mashed into the carpet in your bedroom? [/QUOTE] I don’t have carpet. But, most people here seem to vacuum theirs regularly, so, no, they’re not especially filthy. Dog poop?? How would one step in dog poop and not know it? 😕 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-dammit-lets-talk-about-shoes-off-or-on-in-the-house/402791.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-dammit-lets-talk-about-shoes-off-or-on-in-the-house/402791.md?page=6)