Get a decent knife, and ginger & garlic are easy to chop into a fine mush. (Yes, that’s the technical term 
)
Lemon curry?
Ok, I’ll bite. What the hell are rubies, and what the hell are brittneys?
Batman, if he’s prepared.
Rhyming slang:
Ruby Murray = Curry
Britney Spears = Beers
Let me put a misconception a rest. Most Indians are not vegetarians. Vegetarian fare is served widely because a lot of Indians eat vegetarian food, not because they are vegetarians.
A show which, coincidentally, uses a lot of curry jokes. “Of course! Lager! The only thing that can kill a vindaloo!” I never knew curry was popular in the UK until I saw Red Dwarf – Lister being a working-class Brit who eats practically nothing else.
Excuse me Guvnor!
(doffs cap)
Us working-class (salt of the earth) chaps reckon as how that Lister bloke is a bit below our standards (like). 'e presents Takeshi’s Castle for one fing.
Hmm…I’ll have to try the lemongrass-in-the-grinder trick. I always just assumed it’d be too fibrous, but I guess I’m wrong. (I do have a spare grinder that’s dedicated to grinding spices, although I must admit, I like the elbow grease required in pounding away at a granite mortar and mestle.)
And he’s a mickey mouser. He’s more likely to nick your curry or do a runner from the restaurant.
It’s a TV programme - the original is Japanese. It is watched by thirty year old virgins. He also presents Robot Wars which appeals to the same demographic (think comic book store owner in the Simpsons)
I do cut it into 1/2 cm chunks so that the fibers aren’t too long when I do this, you get short fibers left but they are soft and easily eaten.
I know I’m somewhat late to this thread, but the SO pointed it out to me on Saturday morning, as I was grappling with a family crisis, so I’m only just chiming in!
My understanding of curry, as a British Indian woman (who makes them on a fairly regular basis), is this: curry is a method of cooking, so that you have the verb “to curry something”. It is also a dish. The dish ‘curry’ does not have to have a sauce, it can be very dry – it is the method of cooking that is important.
A curry must have cumin and corriander seeds in it – these are the most important bits, that give the curry its flavour. There must also be a base of some description – for most curries, tomatoes, or tomato puree will be involved, despite assertations to the contrary. 
The way I cook a curry is as follows:
Firstly, you need your base. For a simple curry, to serve four people, I would reccomend two tablespoons of tomato puree, a pinch of salt, some chili powder, a pinch of tumeric and some ground up roasted cumin and corriander seeds. You can buy the cumin and corriander powder in all Indian shops but it is not what you would call ‘curry powder’ – that is something else entirely. Alternatively you can make your own – in a frying pan or wok, gently roast equal amounts of cumin and corriander seeds until you can smell the aromas of the seeds. When it gets to this stage, take off the heat, and grind them up. You will also need a couple of whole green cardamoms, about an inch of cinnamon, a few black peppercorns, and some (about 4-6) cloves. This is the base – put this all together in a bowl.
The first stage of cooking, if you’re making some sort of meat curry is to cook the meat. Boil the meat with a pinch of salt, and a couple of whole green cardamoms, about an inch of cinnamon, a few black peppercorns, and some (about 4-6) cloves. Do not discard the stock.
Next, if you’re doing a meat/seafood based curry (prawn curries are rather nice), you need to saute a diced medium sized onion in the cooking pot with a couple of tablespoons of oil. Once the onions have browned, add a couple of potatoes that have been peeled and quartered (or cut into eigths), and allow these to cook for about five minutes.
If you’re doing a vegetarian curry, instead of sauteeing onions, put a generous handful of black mustard seeds into the hot oil, and allow them to ‘pop’ before adding the potatoes (cut the potatoes smaller in this case as well).
Add the base, and a small amount of the meat stock (or vegetable stock or water for the vegetable curry), stir, and allow to cook for a few more minutes. Add the meat/fish/veggies, and sufficient stock and/or water to cook the potatoes, and leave to simmer until the potatoes have cooked. For a curry with more sauce, add more base at cooking time, and correspondingly more stock/water.
For fish curry, make the base as described above, but add the juice of one lemon, and grind the green cardamoms, cinnamon, black peppercorns, and cloves (but de-husk the cardamoms first!). Coat the fish pieces in the base, and leave in the fridge for 15 or so minutes. Meanwhile, peel and slice thinly a large potato, and fry the slices in a shallow frying pan with some vegetable oil. Drain on a paper towel. In the same pan, add a touch more oil, and fry the fish (without removing the marinade), till cooked, and keep warm. Put any remaining base into the frying pan, and cook, with the fried potatoes, for a couple of minutes. Serve this over the cooked fish. This is a rather drier curry than the one described above.
Tandoori dishes are a different beast yet again – these are dry dishes, where the meat has been marinated overnight, and then cooked in an oven – traditionally a charcoal burning tandoor, but on the grill of a normal oven will work fine. The meat is generally basted with oil whilst cooking.
I’ll try to post a balti recipe tomorrow, if people want me to, but its late over here now, and various family crises, plus a modem connection, mean that I probably won’t be able to check back too often. If anyone’s got any other questions as well (about curry and Indian cooking that is!), I’m happy to answer them.
So, when you say “he presents,” I presume you mean Craig Charles (plays Lister on RD) is also the presenter for these shows? In or out of his Lister character?
And the word can also be used as a past participle adjective, as in the Caribbean dish known as “curried goat.”
For some reason, combs used to groom horses are known as “currycombs.”
And as in the dish my aunt makes – curried brains.
Where’s that barf smiley when you need it?
Ah, the delights of English slang…
I was having a curry once in London with a few friends. The adjacent table was occupied by a young stockbroker type (smart suit, loud mouth, show-off). He knocked my drink over (just an accident - the tables were close together).
“Sorry, mate! Let me get you and all your pals a drink!”
Most kind. 
He then regaled us with stories of his massive work bonuses, waited till the waiter wasn’t looking, then did a runner! :eek:
Fortunately the waiters caught him eventually, otherwise there might have been a dispute over our bill. 
I hope your SO knows how lucky he is!
A woman who knows all about cooking curries 
, has brains and likes football.
The future of our country is assured.
And he’s even tried my cooking.
racks brain for elusive balti recipe
OK, balti chicken/prawns:
Heat some oil in a large saucepan, and add some whole cumin seeds, and allow to pop slightly.
Make a curry base as described for the fish curry above, and add a bit of extra chili (the reason for this will become apparant. Trust me.). Cook the base in the hot oil, and then add a couple of potatoes, cut into 1" or so cubes, and cook for five or so minutes. Add about 500mls of chicken or fish stock, and bring to the boil. Bring to a simmer, and add a diced green pepper, and four diced chicken breasts (or the equivalent amount of prawns). Leave to simmer till the potatoes are practically cooked.
Turn the heat down. Right down, and add 125g of natural yoghurt and 70ish mls of fresh single cream. Stir till mixed, and serve immediately with boiled rice and/or naan bread.