# Okay, I'll pit the Secret Service morons **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 15, 2012, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-ill-pit-the-secret-service-morons/618809 "2012-04-15T01:39:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-ill-pit-the-secret-service-morons/618809/21 "2012-04-15T15:54:04Z")
> [@davidm](#): > > Is this a mis-translation? If not, is Mr. Yepes viewpoint common? Do Colombians really see themselves as an inferior culture relative to the US? I’m skeptical that people think that way. I was watching an early episode of Law and Order last night and it had to do with Colombian drug cartels. They were just characters in an American TV show, but several Colombian characters lamented the fact that their country has been taken over by “animals” and that they’re glad to be in America. I have no idea if it’s common, but it sounds like it’s not new. ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-ill-pit-the-secret-service-morons/618809/22 "2012-04-15T16:14:35Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > They were doing their job! As advance men, they were checking out everything and everyone in advance. So the strip searches got a little out of hand… Perhaps if they just kept themselves in their hand there never would have been a problem. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-ill-pit-the-secret-service-morons/618809/23 "2012-04-15T16:23:49Z")
> [@davidm](#): > > Is this a mis-translation? If not, is Mr. Yepes viewpoint common? Do Colombians really see themselves as an inferior culture relative to the US? I’m skeptical that people think that way. It sounds like it’s an awkward translation; it’s probably something on the order of “Americans are supposed to be the Good Guys, unlike our crumbum politicians” kind of sentiment. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-ill-pit-the-secret-service-morons/618809/24 "2012-04-15T16:27:16Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > It sounds like it’s an awkward translation; it’s probably something on the order of “Americans are supposed to be the Good Guys, unlike our crumbum politicians” kind of sentiment. That’s what I’m thinking. The editor should have questioned this. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-ill-pit-the-secret-service-morons/618809/25 "2012-04-15T16:30:22Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > I was reading about this on the Politco website, which is right leaning, and most of the comments blamed Obama for his lack of leadership that created this problem, and some of them were speculating that the Secret Service is actually covering up for Obama’s whoring. Others pointed out that the president hadn’t even arrived in Columba at the time, but that’s just how sneaky Obama is. No. That’s how big his dick is! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![minlokwat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/minlokwat/32/2844_2.png) [@minlokwat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minlokwat)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-ill-pit-the-secret-service-morons/618809/26 "2012-04-15T16:43:43Z")
From linked article: > [@](#): > > _They found the woman with the agent in the hotel room and a dispute arose over whether the agent should have paid her._ Secret Service agent to prostitute: “This is Colombia for Chrissake. What do you mean I have to pay extra for the blow???” ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-ill-pit-the-secret-service-morons/618809/27 "2012-04-15T17:20:06Z")
> [@Belowjob2.0](#): > > Far higher levels? I’d put most of the CBC at a level just above the phosphorous suds that float in polluted rivers. The Secret Service are usually, and I stress usually, no nonsense, squared away mofos. > > But yeah, these dickbags deserve a hearty pitting. There are almost always two faces to everyone. The Marine Security Guard force that mans the entries to our embassies overseas are supposedly chosen for their squared away nature and professional bearing. From personal observation, they are the biggest whore mongers, boozers and brawlers this side of a Seabee detachment. The difference being that the SS agents are in a very high profile position with the capability of seriously damaging US image, if not reputation. If someone wants to get some strange, it’s none of my business or anyone else’s. But when you represent the President’s office and are acting in his behalf, fucking behave yourselves and keep it zipped for a few days. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-ill-pit-the-secret-service-morons/618809/28 "2012-04-15T17:53:03Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > I was reading about this on the Politco website, which is right leaning, and most of the comments blamed Obama for his lack of leadership that created this problem, and some of them were speculating that the Secret Service is actually covering up for Obama’s whoring. Others pointed out that the president hadn’t even arrived in Columba at the time, but that’s just how sneaky Obama is. Well, you know what they say about black men. Obama’s dick has some serious reach! P.S. it’s Colombia\* ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-ill-pit-the-secret-service-morons/618809/29 "2012-04-15T20:29:11Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > Well, you know what they say about black men. Obama’s dick has some serious reach! > > P.S. it’s Colombia\* Perhaps he’s visiting the university instead? You know how co-eds are. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-ill-pit-the-secret-service-morons/618809/30 "2012-04-15T20:37:37Z")
No, no I don’t. I did, but I don’t any more. Actually, not all that sure I ever did, really. So, no, I guess. Gee, thanks, **Chefguy**. The dog want’s to get drunk, think I’ll join him… ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-ill-pit-the-secret-service-morons/618809/31 "2012-04-15T20:54:58Z")
I’m sure it’s all Obama’s fault somehow, but I’m curious how it’s being spun. Are the agents black, by any chance? “See what you get from affirmative action,” maybe? Or just a general consequence of the cheapening of the Presidency, by electing a socialist Muslim Kenyan antichrist community organizer terrorist’s pal? If all else fails, it can definitely be blamed on Bill Clinton. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-ill-pit-the-secret-service-morons/618809/32 "2012-04-15T20:59:01Z")
> [@davidm](#): > > Is this a mis-translation? If not, is Mr. Yepes viewpoint common? Do Colombians really see themselves as an inferior culture relative to the US? I’m skeptical that people think that way. It can be either completely serious (I made the day of more than one of my LA customers by pointing out that their countries were “in development”, not “underdeveloped”) or ironic. El gran hermano americano has a sadly-well-earned reputation for the idea that the world outside its borders equals the pits (except for perhaps a few enclaves defined as “any place the Ugly American talking wants to visit for purposes other than visiting the local brothels”). ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-ill-pit-the-secret-service-morons/618809/33 "2012-04-15T21:15:38Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > I’m sure it’s all Obama’s fault somehow, but I’m curious how it’s being spun. Are the agents black, by any chance? “See what you get from affirmative action,” maybe? Or just a general consequence of the cheapening of the Presidency, by electing a socialist Muslim Kenyan antichrist community organizer terrorist’s pal? > > If all else fails, it can definitely be blamed on Bill Clinton. Race pf the agents doesn’t matter. The story can be spun that the SS agents were selecting hookers to bang the president. You know, because of his insatiable Black Man’s Appetite For Sex. ---
**Author:** ![BigAppleBucky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigapplebucky/32/178_2.png) [@BigAppleBucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigAppleBucky)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-ill-pit-the-secret-service-morons/618809/34 "2012-04-15T21:28:05Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Race pf the agents doesn’t matter. The story can be spun that the SS agents were selecting hookers to bang the president. You know, because of his insatiable Black Man’s Appetite For Sex. I’m so innocent. I thought the issue was appointment of staff inadequate to supervise the agents. Your issue is far nastier and explains why the right has run so far on this. One wonders whether Secret Service agents have been doing the same thing for years and years or if discipline has just recently broken down. Even if they haven’t broken local laws, if they’ve hired ladies, I sure they’ve broken agency policy. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-ill-pit-the-secret-service-morons/618809/35 "2012-04-15T21:28:57Z")
Is the ad on that site for real? Is that story really where they put an ad that says, “Barack needs your help in 2012. Roll over to say ‘I’m in!’”? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-ill-pit-the-secret-service-morons/618809/36 "2012-04-15T21:53:17Z")
> [@BigAppleBucky](#): > > I’m so innocent. I thought the issue was appointment of staff inadequate to supervise the agents. Your issue is far nastier and explains why the right has run so far on this. > > One wonders whether Secret Service agents have been doing the same thing for years and years or if discipline has just recently broken down. Even if they haven’t broken local laws, if they’ve hired ladies, I sure they’ve broken agency policy. Jeez, maybe I’m even more innocent, because it seems likely to me there’s no specific rules banning employees from hiring hookers while off duty, though I’m sure there are vaguely worded ‘morals’ clauses that they can use to hang anyone for causing any form of public embarrassment. ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2012, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-ill-pit-the-secret-service-morons/618809/37 "2012-04-16T00:43:57Z")
It is kind of lamentable that women should have to resort to prostitution in order to pay the bills. I don’t think prostitution should be criminalised, just that it seems a bit exploitative to go to a country ranked 88th on the Human Development Index in order to have sex with someone. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2012, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-ill-pit-the-secret-service-morons/618809/38 "2012-04-16T02:20:14Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Jeez, maybe I’m even more innocent, because it seems likely to me there’s no specific rules banning employees from hiring hookers while off duty, though I’m sure there are vaguely worded ‘morals’ clauses that they can use to hang anyone for causing any form of public embarrassment. Reports I heard on the media today say that some unspecified allegations being investigated _ **would be** _ in breach of specific Secret Service policies for people deployed on a mission. Plus as mentioned before it’s not simply embarrassing, it potentially compromises security, access control, identities, schedules, etc. Loose lips sink ships and all that, how do you know your date’s not a FARC agent? Ask your Colombian Security counterpart for a recommended referral? (_"Hello, is this the_ Sin Putas No Hay Paraíso _escort agency? I was told to ask for Miss Yulissa and tell her that I’m a friend of Colonel Buendía…"_) ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2012, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-ill-pit-the-secret-service-morons/618809/39 "2012-04-16T09:52:06Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > …P.S. it’s Colombia\* Yeah, I just about cut the tip of my finger off a few weeks back and posted about it here. It’s going to be a while before my posts don’t have typos. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-ill-pit-the-secret-service-morons/618809/40 "2012-04-17T12:10:54Z")
[This latest Washington Post article](http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/more-military-personnel-might-have-been-involved-in-misconduct-before-obamas-trip/2012/04/16/gIQAJ3bqLT_story.html?hpid=z1) says the investigation has swept in a number of military personnel as well, though it doesn’t say how many or from what service. It also suggests that “practices” like this are a long-standing tradion in the SS – apparently some of their married agents have a kind of motto when traveling abroad, “wheels up, rings off”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-ill-pit-the-secret-service-morons/618809.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-ill-pit-the-secret-service-morons/618809.md?page=3)