# Okay, so how exactly ARE you supposed to kill Batman? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 18, 2003, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-so-how-exactly-are-you-supposed-to-kill-batman/195913 "2003-08-18T05:49:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-so-how-exactly-are-you-supposed-to-kill-batman/195913/21 "2003-08-19T00:10:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ukulele Ike \* > \*\*Shoot him with your gun. > \*\* No, you need a Bat-gun! ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-so-how-exactly-are-you-supposed-to-kill-batman/195913/22 "2003-08-19T00:15:56Z")
I was gonna say, just wait for old age to take over, but he’s about 75 years old now, right?.. and that doesn’t seem to have slowed him down much. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-so-how-exactly-are-you-supposed-to-kill-batman/195913/23 "2003-08-19T01:51:23Z")
If he’s not prepared for it, a 1920’s style death ray would do it. ---
**Author:** ![shy\_guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@shy\_guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shy_guy)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-so-how-exactly-are-you-supposed-to-kill-batman/195913/24 "2003-08-19T02:06:52Z")
Do what Bane did, except instead of being stupid, just step on his head afterward. Alternatively, make yourself an evil version of the Adam West TV show utility belt - there’s got the be some anti-Batman spray in there. ---
**Author:** ![Some\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Some\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Some_Guy)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-so-how-exactly-are-you-supposed-to-kill-batman/195913/25 "2003-08-19T02:36:28Z")
My understanding is that he’s already prepared for both 1920’s and 1930’s-style death rays. A 1940’s-style deathray might possibly work, however. Of course, you could also arrange for Batman to get in the way of a fight between [Groo](http://www.groo.com/) and [Bun-Bun](http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=010624). That should work, assuming you don’t min the collateral damage …d ---
**Author:** ![Moo\_the\_Magic\_Cow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ebca7d/32.png) [@Moo\_the\_Magic\_Cow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moo_the_Magic_Cow)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-so-how-exactly-are-you-supposed-to-kill-batman/195913/26 "2003-08-19T03:13:22Z")
You can’t shoot him with a gun he’ll batarang your hand and you’ll drop the gun cuz it hurt and you’ll be all oh snap and he’ll be all OH NO YOU DIDN’T and he’ll bolo your ass when you try to run away. Batman - 1 Guns - 0 ---
**Author:** ![Shakey\_Jake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@Shakey\_Jake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shakey_Jake)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-so-how-exactly-are-you-supposed-to-kill-batman/195913/27 "2003-08-19T03:45:09Z")
Ah, a 1920’s style death ray. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-so-how-exactly-are-you-supposed-to-kill-batman/195913/28 "2003-08-19T03:58:42Z")
The way to kill him is to NOT hesitate right before you land the finishing blow. The same applies to Samurai Jack. ---
**Author:** ![Vlad\_Dracul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/50afbb/32.png) [@Vlad\_Dracul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vlad_Dracul)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-so-how-exactly-are-you-supposed-to-kill-batman/195913/29 "2003-08-19T04:47:43Z")
Just kill Alfred! Batman will starve to death, as depicted here: [http://www.comicbookresources.com/columns/index.cgi?column=yabs&article=755](http://www.comicbookresources.com/columns/index.cgi?column=yabs&article=755) ---
**Author:** ![ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chockfullofheadygoodness/32/511_2.png) [@ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-so-how-exactly-are-you-supposed-to-kill-batman/195913/30 "2003-08-19T22:32:57Z")
**Okay, so how exactly ARE you supposed to kill Batman?** Four simple words: Joel Schumacher, Akiva Goldsman ---
**Author:** ![Infectious\_Lass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e56c9b/32.png) [@Infectious\_Lass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infectious_Lass)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-so-how-exactly-are-you-supposed-to-kill-batman/195913/31 "2003-08-19T22:43:22Z")
Uhhhhh…oookay I probably look really daft here, but why do I keep seeing references to 1920s death rays on the sdmb lately? Is there some groovy in joke I am missing out on here? link, someone please? I’m really confused! (not hard) ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-so-how-exactly-are-you-supposed-to-kill-batman/195913/32 "2003-08-19T22:47:18Z")
See “threadspotting.” Hurry! ---
**Author:** ![Gadfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/aeb1de/32.png) [@Gadfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadfly)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-so-how-exactly-are-you-supposed-to-kill-batman/195913/33 "2003-08-19T22:59:28Z")
I think some kind of 1920’s style death ray should do the trick. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-so-how-exactly-are-you-supposed-to-kill-batman/195913/34 "2003-08-20T00:18:03Z")
Just use my Stratton-Chesterfield M1924B death ray. Or a 30-06 sniper’s rifle. ---
**Author:** ![New\_Improved\_Scott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f17d59/32.png) [@New\_Improved\_Scott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/New_Improved_Scott)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-so-how-exactly-are-you-supposed-to-kill-batman/195913/35 "2003-08-20T01:15:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by shy guy \* > \*\*Do what Bane did, except instead of being stupid, just step on his head afterward. > > Alternatively, make yourself an evil version of the Adam West TV show utility belt - there’s got the be some anti-Batman spray in there. \*\* Bane had it right. During the “Knightfall” story arc, he released all the villains from Arkham, and watched as Batman burnt himself out. He tracked him, and timed events to cause the most trauma to Bats. Bane could have killed Batman, if he had wanted to. ---
**Author:** ![don\_Jaime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b4bc9f/32.png) [@don\_Jaime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_Jaime)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-so-how-exactly-are-you-supposed-to-kill-batman/195913/36 "2003-08-20T04:33:34Z")
Reveal his secret identity to the public. His enemies can now target him personally, as well as pretty much anyone he’s been publicly associated with and all his corporate holdings. Also, some legal hotshot will want him up on vigilantism charges. Let the attrition take its toll, then step in to finish him off when he’s physically exhausted and mourning Alfred, Dick Grayson, Robin, the Gordons, and anyone else he’s ever met. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-so-how-exactly-are-you-supposed-to-kill-batman/195913/37 "2003-08-20T11:27:46Z")
We have to stay in character, so… Arrange circumstances where Batman saves Gotham by sacrificing himself to kill you. “There’s a rebellion in heaven. Could you sort it out? Here’s a couple of gold coins and a blunt axe to see you on your way.” [Convoluted plan to kill superman] by killing all other superheros. It’s not like he can go back in time and bring them back to life, is it? ---
**Author:** ![refusal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ac91a4/32.png) [@refusal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/refusal)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-so-how-exactly-are-you-supposed-to-kill-batman/195913/38 "2003-08-20T16:40:49Z")
Simply travel back in time and unkill his parents, which would have the effect of letting him grow up into a well-balanced and bland multi-millionaire with no desire for justice or vengeance whatsoever. ---
**Author:** ![criminalcatalog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@criminalcatalog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/criminalcatalog)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-so-how-exactly-are-you-supposed-to-kill-batman/195913/39 "2003-08-20T16:57:52Z")
Just hit him with a rock or something, that’ll kill him DEAD. ---
**Author:** ![andymurph64](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@andymurph64](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andymurph64)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-so-how-exactly-are-you-supposed-to-kill-batman/195913/40 "2003-08-20T21:43:59Z")
Get him into the dark. It’s likely he’ll be eaten by a Grue. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-so-how-exactly-are-you-supposed-to-kill-batman/195913.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-so-how-exactly-are-you-supposed-to-kill-batman/195913.md?page=3)