# Okay to ask guest to leave their guns at home? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [November 20, 2009, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226 "2009-11-20T00:08:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 24
**Author:** ![Wallenstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@Wallenstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallenstein)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/461 "2009-11-25T14:42:57Z")
Is it possible to conceal a gun so that it’s not visible in a social setting? Not being a hand-gun owner (nor knowing anyone who has one) I’d assumed the gun would sit under a jacket and not be visible, but that it’s bulk would be visible if a person is wearing a t-shirt? I picture most concealed guns to be the size of a largish cell-phone or a full wallet. Is that realistic? I don’t know many people who would sit on a sofa and keep a large wallet in their pocket. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/462 "2009-11-25T14:46:08Z")
> [@Wallenstein](#): > > Is it possible to conceal a gun so that it’s not visible in a social setting? > > Not being a hand-gun owner (nor knowing anyone who has one) I’d assumed the gun would sit under a jacket and not be visible, but that it’s bulk would be visible if a person is wearing a t-shirt? > > I picture most concealed guns to be the size of a largish cell-phone or a full wallet. Is that realistic? I don’t know many people who would sit on a sofa and keep a large wallet in their pocket. I’ll need to dig through my links, but properly speaking most concealed-carry strategies do work best with jackets but there are a number of easy ways to concealed-carry in normal pants, too–ankle holsters or simple holsters that sit under your pants both work and are hard to spot unless you’re wearing tight pants. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/463 "2009-11-25T14:47:19Z")
> [@Zeriel](#): > > For the record, this is because the standard etiquette of concealed carry is that you don’t let people know that you’re carrying, because that both upsets people and it gives advance warning to anyone who might want to fuck with you that you have a gun. > > Actually, I think far more people on the dope than in real life even know I have a CCW, just because I was taught that it was more polite to not discuss it under most circumstances. (not that I carry anywhere). Neat little box that is. It is wrong to ask and wrong for them to make their host aware. Now what? ISTM, when in doubt, leave the gun in the car or ask. Assuming your host is ok with someone carrying a gun in their house is rude (barring perhaps living in an area where it is considered the norm and all who live there understand that). ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/464 "2009-11-25T15:17:55Z")
> [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > Neat little box that is. It is wrong to ask and wrong for them to make their host aware. Now what? Actually, I don’t really think it’d be rude or wrong at all for someone to ask about it–just that it’d be considered rude in the typical-gun-owner community for me to concealed-carry and then flaunt that fact, “accidentally” or not, by talking about or flashing the firearm or my CCW card or whatever. There’s no sense whatsoever, after all, in randomly potentially scaring people by implying or revealing the presence of an unexpected firearm in a situation where firearm use is not anticipated. > [@](#): > > ISTM, when in doubt, leave the gun in the car or ask. Assuming your host is ok with someone carrying a gun in their house is rude (barring perhaps living in an area where it is considered the norm and all who live there understand that). This is more or less what I would do if I carried on any kind of a regular basis–I would base whether or not I bothered to mention it or left it at home strongly on the preferences of the host–like I implied earlier in the thread, I wouldn’t even take a water pistol to my mother-in-law’s house. I’d probably bias towards leaving it in the car, anyway–it’s just as safe in there, especially once I get around (and I will before I start carrying period, let alone on a regular basis) to bolting a pistol safe down next to my spare tire holder. I don’t really follow that going armed is automatically rude in the absence of a stated preference, but as you indicated that is probably a cultural difference–where I’m from, it’s pretty common for people to have an up-front opinion on guns if they’re anti-gun in any way, and the norm is assumed to be “people have guns”. Rural areas are what they are, naturally. ---
**Author:** ![JXJohns](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jxjohns/32/469_2.png) [@JXJohns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JXJohns)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/465 "2009-11-25T15:23:45Z")
> [@Wallenstein](#): > > Is it possible to conceal a gun so that it’s not visible in a social setting? > > Not being a hand-gun owner (nor knowing anyone who has one) I’d assumed the gun would sit under a jacket and not be visible, but that it’s bulk would be visible if a person is wearing a t-shirt? > > I picture most concealed guns to be the size of a largish cell-phone or a full wallet. Is that realistic? I don’t know many people who would sit on a sofa and keep a large wallet in their pocket. I carry every day, to the point where I don’t even notice the extra weight anymore. We have four seasons where I live so my carrying methods change as the weather does. In any normal casual situation, you would never know that I was carrying. As such, I don’t go out of my way to tell people. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/466 "2009-11-25T15:24:17Z")
> [@Wallenstein](#): > > Is it possible to conceal a gun so that it’s not visible in a social setting? > > Not being a hand-gun owner (nor knowing anyone who has one) I’d assumed the gun would sit under a jacket and not be visible, but that it’s bulk would be visible if a person is wearing a t-shirt? > > I picture most concealed guns to be the size of a largish cell-phone or a full wallet. Is that realistic? I don’t know many people who would sit on a sofa and keep a large wallet in their pocket. Mine’s in my handbag for precisely the reason that I’m so thin that I can’t conceal a weapon on me without it showing unless I’m wearing a coat. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/467 "2009-11-25T15:51:58Z")
> [@Wallenstein](#): > > Is it possible to conceal a gun so that it’s not visible in a social setting? > > Not being a hand-gun owner (nor knowing anyone who has one) I’d assumed the gun would sit under a jacket and not be visible, but that it’s bulk would be visible if a person is wearing a t-shirt? > > I picture most concealed guns to be the size of a largish cell-phone or a full wallet. Is that realistic? I don’t know many people who would sit on a sofa and keep a large wallet in their pocket. Back when my hubby was working as a Private Investigator, he always carried on the job. He commissioned my father (a wonderful leather-worker) to custom-make him a holster for a small pistol he had; it had a hole in the center, so the pistol could actually be _fired_ without un-holstering it, but when put in his hip pocket, it looked _exactly_ like a full wallet. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/468 "2009-11-25T16:16:57Z")
> [@norinew](#): > > Back when my hubby was working as a Private Investigator, he always carried on the job. He commissioned my father (a wonderful leather-worker) to custom-make him a holster for a small pistol he had; it had a hole in the center, so the pistol could actually be _fired_ without un-holstering it, but when put in his hip pocket, it looked _exactly_ like a full wallet. I used to have just such a holster myself for a .22 mini-revolver. A few years back, the BATFE declared such things to be converting the revolver to AOW (Any Other Weapon) status and they now require paperwork and the purchase of a tax stamp. This places them in the same category legally with such things as pen guns, short-barreled rifles, and sawed-off shotguns. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/469 "2009-11-25T16:18:47Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > What I have been saying and what I will continue to say is that I think it is an overly-forward, rude, and uncouth thing to pro-actively tell a guest to your house, in advance of him coming over, to not bring a gun. It is a request which is insulting to the person being asked, and it implies a lack of trust in him which I would think a true friend would be undeserving of. > [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > If you don’t know them very well, how do you know they carry a concealed firearm? It’s certainly possible for someone to wind up with a guest in their home who is not a “true friend” or someone they have particular reason to trust, but who they know habitually carries a gun. For instance, a woman might be planning a Thanksgiving party for her and her boyfriend’s families, and the boyfriend’s father might invite a creepy gun-loving uncle along. I recently read about a woman in just that situation. I’m not sure how she knew her boyfriend’s uncle habitually carried a weapon wherever he went, but she did, so it obviously wasn’t some closely guarded secret. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/470 "2009-11-25T16:37:39Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > For instance, a woman might be planning a Thanksgiving party for her and her boyfriend’s families, and the boyfriend’s father might invite a creepy gun-loving uncle along. I recently read about a woman in just that situation. …in the OP? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/471 "2009-11-25T17:00:20Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > …in the OP? 😃 Yes, that was what I was driving at. I’m not sure how the situation described in the OP, where a host knows that an invited guest habitually carries a gun everywhere, got turned into a host telling their closest friends something like “Want to come over for dinner? Well, be sure not to bring a gun! I have no reason to suspect you would do so, but I wanted to make a big deal about stressing that there are absolutely no guns allowed anywhere on my property under any circumstances!” ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/472 "2009-11-25T17:05:02Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > Yes, that was what I was driving at. > > I’m not sure how the situation described in the OP, where a host knows that an invited guest habitually carries a gun everywhere, got turned into a host telling their closest friends something like “Want to come over for dinner? Well, be sure not to bring a gun! I have no reason to suspect you would do so, but I wanted to make a big deal about stressing that there are absolutely no guns allowed anywhere on my property under any circumstances!” _shrugs_ I don’t know either, but my mother-in-law more or less does exactly this on occasion. Yeah, it’s kinda out of left field. Not sure of the cause or effect, but it seems to me like many of us thought a blanket ban was more “polite” than an individual one, so no one felt singled out as an irresponsible gun owner. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/473 "2009-11-25T18:41:15Z")
Wait, we’re going to ban blankets now? What if Grandma gets cold? ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/474 "2009-11-25T18:47:17Z")
Then it’s the homeowner’s duty to escort Grandma to the blanket in her car. Or provide her with a towel instead. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/475 "2009-11-25T19:19:09Z")
[QUOTE=channeling Johnny Cash] Don’t take your guns to town son Leave your guns at home Bill Don’t take your guns to town [/QUOTE] 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/476 "2009-11-25T19:31:20Z")
> [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > I believe some in this thread have equivocated that yes, they would leave their gun in the car if asked but what the homeowner does not know won’t hurt them and they would carry in someone else’s house and just not tell them. I think it was only one person – **Susanann** who said that. Question: if we have a Dopefest, should guns be allowed, or not? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/477 "2009-11-25T19:44:47Z")
Depends who hosts it, obviously. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/478 "2009-11-25T19:52:26Z")
Speaking as a gun owner, I can name any number of dopers I don’t know well enough to know if I trust them with a gun around me. That would be “all of them” since I’ve never met any of y’all in real life. =P This doesn’t exactly imply fear or whatever, just that if I catch any signs that someone is armed in a concealed way, I shuffle them into a slightly more “dangerous” mental category until I further evaluate, y’know? ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/479 "2009-11-25T20:11:18Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > So far people, including the pro-gun people, in this thread, have been acting like I’m some kind of lunatic. Especially **Airman Doors,** who I thought was once at one point on good terms with me but now seems determined to grind an axe against me. Do not confuse being on good terms with agreeing with an asinine argument. More on that in a second. > [@](#): > > Well, I’m not a lunatic. **And I would not bring a pistol into your house if you asked me not to.** > > What I have been saying and what I will continue to say is that I think it is an overly-forward, rude, and uncouth thing to pro-actively tell a guest to your house, in advance of him coming over, to not bring a gun. It is a request which is insulting to the person being asked, and it implies a lack of trust in him which I would think a true friend would be undeserving of. So they don’t trust you. That is where it ends. They are not “pussies”, they do not deserve to be treated as though they are being rude, and they do not owe you an explanation. But you keep pushing for an explanation that is neither warranted nor required, and you make yourself look like the very personification of why they do not want guns brought into their home. The rest of us understand exactly what is required and/or requested of us, and we are not arguing because there is nothing to argue about. Nothing you have said here has helped your cause. Nothing. And based upon what you said above, you expected me to back you on this? ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/480 "2009-11-25T20:20:27Z")
I’ll not read through ten pages of replies to post what is probably going to be a “what they said” response. If the host asks that I not bring a weapon into their home I will certainly leave it locked in the car. Both as a matter of courtesy and of law. I am not aware of anywhere that the homeowner’s wishes aren’t backed up by law to prohibit a civilian from bringing a firearm into their home. > [@Harry1945](#): > > I have trouble understanding why the question would even come up. If I’m carrying a gun, why would I feel you needed to know? It isn’t as if we’re going to have show and tell after dinner. Some states, including my own, require that I inform the owner before I come into their home. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226.md?page=23) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226.md?page=25)