# Okay to ask guest to leave their guns at home? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [November 20, 2009, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226 "2009-11-20T00:08:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Long\_Time\_Lurker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/2bfe46/32.png) [@Long\_Time\_Lurker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Long_Time_Lurker)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/41 "2009-11-20T14:54:34Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > It’s the whole point of concealed carry, that you have access to your pistol all the time because you never know when you’re going to need it. Are you a secret agent? ---
**Author:** ![CutterJohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/91b2a8/32.png) [@CutterJohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CutterJohn)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/42 "2009-11-20T14:55:38Z")
Back home with the parents, we had a lot of people show up, and a lot with guns, as we were a popular deer and pheasant hunting destination for his friends. Rule #1 was bring all the guns you felt you needed. Rule #2 was no loaded guns in the house. Rule #3 is new, which states the guns are locked up when the grandkids are over, which goes to show how much he coddles them. 🙂 Now, the situation never arose, so I can’t say what his reaction would be, but if someone was carrying concealed at my house, I would have no issues with the weapon being present, Rule #1 and all that. I would have issues with it being loaded in the house, and would ask that the owner unloads the gun while inside, though they are free to keep it on them. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/43 "2009-11-20T15:02:54Z")
> [@Long\_Time\_Lurker](#): > > Are you a secret agent? Of course the fact that he’s an **Agent** is secret; that’s why he spells it with an **r** , so we ordinary folk won’t figure it out! ;)😛 ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/44 "2009-11-20T15:22:40Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > It’s perfectly OK. My sister’s boyfriend loathes handguns and has told me that I am not to bring a handgun into the house, and that if I do I will never be welcome again. > > He certainly didn’t need to threaten me like that, but it’s his house and his rules, so I respect his wishes. > > The thing that would NOT be OK is if someone brought one anyway after being asked not to. That’s just wrong. It sounds like he overstated it a bit. But I’d much rather be certain I understand how strongly someone feels than get a wishy-washy statement and later find that I had grossly offended or done permanent damage to a relationship. I know that I have certain topics upon which I can not speak calmly (child abuse for instance) and I make sure my friends/family know exactly where I stand to avoid a serious breach. Re: the OP I would be very appreciative that my host had let their feelings be known, and I would consider it unthinkable to violate their trust. I do think looking it in the car should be an acceptable compromise and would be willing to park on the street if necessary to keep it “off” the property. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/45 "2009-11-20T15:35:20Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Easy scenario: I am going over to a friend’s house for dinner, directly from work. I carry at work. Tough school, eh? Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/46 "2009-11-20T15:43:00Z")
I can’t believe this is actually being discussed. You don’t bring things into people’s homes they don’t want in their homes. End of story. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/47 "2009-11-20T15:43:04Z")
[QUOTE=Stranger On A Train] Tough school, eh? [/QUOTE] Not any more. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Long\_Time\_Lurker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/2bfe46/32.png) [@Long\_Time\_Lurker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Long_Time_Lurker)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/48 "2009-11-20T15:49:41Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > I can’t believe this is actually being discussed. You don’t bring things into people’s homes they don’t want in their homes. End of story. But what if thieves armed with shotguns bust down the door in the middle of dinner? ---
**Author:** ![SmellMyWort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SmellMyWort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmellMyWort)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/49 "2009-11-20T15:51:16Z")
> [@CutterJohn](#): > > …which goes to show how much he coddles them. 🙂 The guns or the grandkids? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/50 "2009-11-20T15:51:30Z")
> [@Long\_Time\_Lurker](#): > > But what if thieves armed with shotguns bust down the door in the middle of dinner? Give them the lasagna and hope they don’t notice the tiramisu. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/51 "2009-11-20T15:53:37Z")
> [@Markxxx](#): > > This is really an excellent way to test the old age custom of etiquette and manners. > > Proper etiquette dictates as a host you are always to make the guest in your home feel comfortable, even if the act makes you uncomfortable, unless there is a valid reason not to. Ah, but if you want to go back to old-school etiquette, consider _this_: as a _guest_ I am obliged _not_ to do something that I sense might make my host(ess) uncomfortable, even after they have said (insisted, even) that it’s perfectly fine for me to do so. > [@](#): > > Another example would be smoking. If a guest wants to smoke and you don’t like it and don’t want it in your house, you need to forget this and allow your guest to smoke. The idea being is the guest is a PERSON and your clothes that may retain the smoky smell are just pieces of cloth that can be washed or even replaced. People can’t be replaced, clothes can so etiquette would say allow him to smoke. Like here. Yes, old-school etiquette would say that I, as the guest, ask the host “Do you mind if I smoke?” Host (unless it will present them with health problems) says “No, no, please do!” I, the ever-polite guest, however, will then persist “Really, if you’d prefer I take it outside, it’s not a problem at all! I know for non-smokers, the smell and such can be overwhelming. . .” Host: “No, I insist! Here, let me get you an ashtray!” If I, the ever-polite guest, notice the host has trouble locating said ashtray, assume the host is not accustomed to smoking in their home. Even though the host has insisted it’s fine, it is my duty to say something that will relieve my host of that burden, like: “You know, it really is quite a lovely evening out! I hope you don’t mind too much, but I believe I’ll take my cigarette out on the balcony so I can admire the stars!” > [@](#): > > This is how old school etiquette worked, the host always went out of their way to accommodate their guest unless there was a valid reason not to. Yes, but the guest also went out of his/her way to _not_ be a PITA! > [@](#): > > That was old school etiquette and now-a-days, it is much different and it’s pretty much, “my house, my rules” type of deal. Starting a debate on whether this came about because one can no longer depend on guests to behave properly would be very much a chicken/egg debate. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/52 "2009-11-20T15:56:40Z")
Do I still have to eat strawberries if I don’t like them? I don’t really see the big deal in saying, “No, thanks, I’m not hungry.” ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/53 "2009-11-20T15:58:43Z")
> [@dnooman](#): > > See replies # 2,3 and 4 in this thread. They say they’d leave the gun in the car out of courtesy, I fail to see the reason in even having it there in the first place if it’s inaccessible. You seem to agree. > > I’m not anti gun, nor anti-CC, but I find it disturbing when people feel the need to be armed every second of every single day of their lives. > > Show me a significant number of cases where “the good guy had the gun”. “You never know” is as good as always or never, not a real figure, and it means what you want it to. Find a stat that predicts the likelihood of you ever having to shoot someone for any legal reason, you’ll have to agree that that number is infinitesimal. > > If there is no time when carrying can be forgone, do you live your life as if you may have to shoot someone or something every waking second of your life? If so, and that doesn’t seem overly paranoid to you, then I think we need to agree to disagree. The motivations of the person are none of your concern. You know, we get that some of you do not like guns. Out of deference, all of us in this thread (save one) have acceded to your wishes that we not bring guns into your home if we were ever to visit. We have agreed with your viewpoint, and we will respect your demands and the demands of others like you without argument. So why do you guys continue to take it over the top with posts like this? It’s not as though you haven’t received an explanation from somebody every time this question is asked (countless times, for the record). What more do you want? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/54 "2009-11-20T16:00:14Z")
> [@Long\_Time\_Lurker](#): > > But what if thieves armed with shotguns bust down the door in the middle of dinner? Hope they shoot the women and children first? > [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Do I still have to eat strawberries if I don’t like them? I don’t really see the big deal in saying, “No, thanks, I’m not hungry.” _Strawberries and cake or death!_ ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/55 "2009-11-20T16:20:31Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Easy scenario: I am going over to a friend’s house for dinner, directly from work. I carry at work. Do I a) not carry that day at all, or b) leave the weapon in the car at dinner? > > Car wins. > [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > Tough school, eh? > > Stranger > [@silenus](#): > > Not any more. 😃 Anyone else wonder if [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWJZe4FlwcA&feature=related#t=6m32s) is **silenus’** school? > [@Nava](#): > > Different culture and all, but my brother’s father in law, Joe, was a cop; he and his wife moved in with my brother and sister in law when Joe was diagnosed with ALS. Sometimes his friends would go visit directly after coming off duty, therefore carrying. The first thing they’d do after crossing the threshold is take the gun off and ask “where can I put it?” > > From his wife’s response the first time it happened, my brother figured out this was standard etiquette among the cops and their families; she confirmed it. I’ve seen hunters do similar things. **Nava** , that seems strange to me. Unless the homeowner had lockable storage large enough to hold the gun, it seems the safest place for it would have been directly under the cop’s control. Or was there going to be some drinking involved? ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/56 "2009-11-20T16:22:58Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > I can’t believe this is actually being discussed. You don’t bring things into people’s homes they don’t want in their homes. End of story. You’re acting like a bunch of people are disagreeing with you here. I haven’t seen many people in this thread who are saying “Fuck you, I don’t care what you say. I’m coming into your house packing heat anyway.” Which part of the discussion, exactly, is the cause of your disbelief? > [@Long\_Time\_Lurker](#): > > But what if thieves armed with shotguns bust down the door in the middle of dinner? Again, who is advocating this position, or even posing a similar hypothetical? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/57 "2009-11-20T16:25:13Z")
I guess I’m surprised that the OP posted the question in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/58 "2009-11-20T16:30:31Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > I guess I’m surprised that the OP posted the question in the first place. Why? The OP clearly doesn’t agree that anyone should do such a thing, and was looking for responses from people who are “defensive about their gun rights.” ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/59 "2009-11-20T16:31:47Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > Again, who is advocating this position, or even posing a similar hypothetical? _Whooooosh!_ ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/60 "2009-11-20T16:33:26Z")
> [@Long\_Time\_Lurker](#): > > But what if thieves armed with shotguns bust down the door in the middle of dinner? That’s what the third fork is for. Betcha’ didn’t know that, did you? Stranger [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226.md?page=4)