# Okay to ask guest to leave their guns at home? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [November 20, 2009, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226 "2009-11-20T00:08:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/121 "2009-11-20T22:32:06Z")
I think people should understand the damage guns can do, definitely. Preferably by handling and firing them themselves. But people should also _trust_ competent gun owners that they are not going to unholster their weapon at the dinner table and start blasting away. Asking him to leave the gun at home is saying you don’t trust him to be safe with it, which when you think about it is quite insulting. I have friends who are black belts in karate, who could beat the everloving shit out of me. But I trust that they’re not going to suddenly go apeshit in the middle of a dinner party and start attacking people. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/122 "2009-11-20T22:32:58Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > That sort of macho crap is why so many people assume all gun owners are crazy, you know. And it’s answers like this that make us think all gun control advocates are idiots. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/123 "2009-11-20T22:48:23Z")
> [@Argent Towers](#): > > But people should also trust competent gun owners that they are not going to unholster their weapon at the dinner table and start blasting away. Asking him to leave the gun at home is saying you don’t trust him to be safe with it, which when you think about it is quite insulting. See, right here is the sticking point for me, personally. It’s not that I don’t trust _you_ to handle your gun safely, it’s that I don’t know who I maybe _can’t_ trust to handle their gun safely. If I allow _you_ to bring your gun, how do I explain to Cousin Bob (who is half-crazy and prone to drinking too much) that I won’t allow _him_ to bring a gun? Much easier (and more polite!) to make a blanket rule. Can you grok that? (I ask with no snark whatsoever; just want to see if where I, as the theoretical hostess, am coming from makes sense to you, the hypothetical gun-carrier). ---
**Author:** ![tacoloco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tacoloco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tacoloco)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/124 "2009-11-20T22:50:50Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > I think people should understand the damage guns can do, definitely. Preferably by handling and firing them themselves. But people should also _trust_ competent gun owners that they are not going to unholster their weapon at the dinner table and start blasting away. Asking him to leave the gun at home is saying you don’t trust him to be safe with it, which when you think about it is quite insulting. I don’t need to be in the position of determining of you or anyone else is a responsible gun owner. The easiest decision for me is to just tell you to not bring a gun into my home. I don’t see it as any different if I asked someone to not smoke (which I do) or curse (which I don’t care about). My home is MY home. It isn’t my job to make sure I’m soothing the feelings of people who want to do things in my home that I don’t want them to do. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/125 "2009-11-20T22:51:14Z")
> [@Harry1945](#): > > I have trouble understanding why the question would even come up. If I’m carrying a gun, why would I feel you needed to know? It isn’t as if we’re going to have show and tell after dinner. Exactly. My theory on concealed carry is: Nobody knows you’ve got one until the bullet is in the air. But yeah, if you have any respect for the host, comply or don’t come. The Indians are probably not going to attack the dinner party. ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/126 "2009-11-20T22:54:54Z")
> [@Grumman](#): > > What, just like that? Granny doesn’t even have to brandish it and say something like “The Power of Charlton Heston compels you”? That would be, “The Power of Moses Compels You! Do You Feel Lucky, Punk?!” ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/127 "2009-11-20T22:55:37Z")
> [@norinew](#): > > See, right here is the sticking point for me, personally. It’s not that I don’t trust _you_ to handle your gun safely, it’s that I don’t know who I maybe _can’t_ trust to handle their gun safely. If I allow _you_ to bring your gun, how do I explain to Cousin Bob (who is half-crazy and prone to drinking too much) that I won’t allow _him_ to bring a gun? Why invite Cousin Bob at all? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/128 "2009-11-20T22:59:30Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > I just feel it only fair to point out that out of several firearms owners and enthusiasts who responded to this question, only one has taken this stance, while the remainder have all volunteered to leave the weapon at home or secured in a vehicle. > > Stranger Granted. I’m referring specifically to **Argent** ’s comment about how he’d think his hypothetical not-gun-liking friend was a pussy. > [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > I’d also point out that I am among that group. I would also leave it at home or in my vehicle. Actually it’s a moot point since as I already said, I hardly ever carry it at all. However - what I am saying is that it’s a petty request and I look down on someone who’d make it. Would I abide by it? Yes. Fine. But I think it’s a dumb thing to ask someone. Fair enough. > [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > And it’s answers like this that make us think all gun control advocates are idiots. If you think, “Yes, I’ll leave my gun at home, but you’re a pussy” is a reasonable response or thought process, I could hardly care less what you think. In any case, this thread is not about gun control. I support the rights of gun owners as long as the second amendment remains in force, but I don’t want anyone other than a cop bringing one into my house. ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/129 "2009-11-20T23:00:33Z")
> [@norinew](#): > > See, right here is the sticking point for me, personally. It’s not that I don’t trust _you_ to handle your gun safely, it’s that I don’t know who I maybe _can’t_ trust to handle their gun safely. If I allow _you_ to bring your gun, how do I explain to Cousin Bob (who is half-crazy and prone to drinking too much) that I won’t allow _him_ to bring a gun? See, I’m the kind of asshole who has no problem telling the Cousin Bob’s of the world, “Bob, you’re an asshole. Now Cousin Mike is cool; he can bring a Goddamned National Guard Armory, as far as I care. You, Bob, I don’t want to see you even looking crosseyed at little Nelly’s water pistol. And leave some fucking sweet potatoes for the rest of us, you dumbass crankhead.” ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/130 "2009-11-20T23:04:45Z")
Little did you know that little Nelly put a solution of capsaicin in her water pistol. ---
**Author:** ![rooostra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d07c76/32.png) [@rooostra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rooostra)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/131 "2009-11-20T23:42:58Z")
> [@Todderbob](#): > > Ditto. > > Although if there’s any alcohol going on at all, and even the slightest chance I’d partake in it, I wouldn’t carry. If it is not too much of a hijack of the OP, I’m curious to know what gun owners’ stances are on the subject of alcohol use and carrying a gun. One reason I don’t own a gun is that I do like to drink to excess on occasion and don’t feel comfortable with the idea of potentially handling a gun while intoxicated. If you are gonna go to a bar or party where you have a reasonably likely chance to drink to excess, do you carry? ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/132 "2009-11-20T23:43:49Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > If you think, “Yes, I’ll leave my gun at home, but you’re a pussy” is a reasonable response or thought process, I could hardly care less what you think. Wow. I didn’t think the content of your posts could get dumber, but I guess I assumed too much. Here’s a tip: It was your moronic broad brush I objected to. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/133 "2009-11-20T23:49:47Z")
What broad brush? I was clearly responding to **AT**. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/134 "2009-11-20T23:54:36Z")
Well, “pussy” might be too strong a word. But if I am a concealed-carrier and someone invites me to dinner and specifically requests that I not bring my pistol, he is saying to me one of two things. Either “I don’t trust you not to pull out that gun/properly secure it/whatever” - in other words, not believing in my capacity to responsibly carry the weapon, which is insulting to me - or “I think that the mere presence of a gun, an inanimate object, is scary and discomforting.” Either of those sentiments makes me think less of a person. The latter is a little more easily excused by me because the social conditioning that most Americans go through, that guns are scary and evil and only to be used by movie heroes or criminals, is very tough to break out of, and it’s something that a lot of people are just raised with, the same way Americans in the South were raised with Jim Crow. The former is much more personally insulting to me - the idea that you don’t trust me to carry my weapon responsibly. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/135 "2009-11-21T00:13:02Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > What broad brush? I was clearly responding to **AT**. Oh, please. If you would have been responding to him you would’ve said something about AT, not “all gun owners”. I wasn’t the only one who noticed. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/136 "2009-11-21T00:16:04Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > Oh, please. If you would have been responding to him you would’ve said something about AT, not “all gun owners”. I wasn’t the only one who noticed. Exactly. Comments like **Argent** ’s reflect badly on all gun owners, deservedly or not. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/137 "2009-11-21T00:20:00Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > See, I’m the kind of asshole who has no problem telling the Cousin Bob’s of the world, “Bob, you’re an asshole. Now Cousin Mike is cool; he can bring a Goddamned National Guard Armory, as far as I care. You, Bob, I don’t want to see you even looking crosseyed at little Nelly’s water pistol. And leave some fucking sweet potatoes for the rest of us, you dumbass crankhead.” 😃 I officially want to be you when I grow up! ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/138 "2009-11-21T00:37:03Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Exactly. Comments like **Argent** ’s reflect badly on all gun owners, deservedly or not. You latch on to what you want. Any one person can make any group look bad, but intelligent people know this and base their opinions on more appropriate criteria. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/139 "2009-11-21T00:38:33Z")
Bit presumptuous for you to speak on behalf of intelligent people, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226/140 "2009-11-21T00:58:08Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Bit presumptuous for you to speak on behalf of intelligent people, isn’t it? Really? Personal insults are the best you can do? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-to-ask-guest-to-leave-their-guns-at-home/518226.md?page=8)