# Okay, we heteros will use marriage, let's come up with another word for our gays **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 31, 2003, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106 "2003-07-31T12:17:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/1 "2003-07-31T12:17:52Z")
President Bush has said marriage is a union between a man and a woman. Okay then. It’s just a matter of semantics. We’ll take marriage. How about we come up with another word for gay unions? Coupling? Fusion? (I like that one myself.) Garriage? (Gay Marriage, although it sounds like how the British pronounce “garage.” The new term will still have all the rights, responsibilities, and privileges of marriage, it will just be called something else. Please know, I am not trivializing the issue. I am simply trying to trump those ultra-conservatives who keep trumpeting “Marriage is between a man and a woman.” ---
**Author:** ![kputt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f475e1/32.png) [@kputt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kputt)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/2 "2003-07-31T12:31:41Z")
Now, the pope is going against gay marriages. He’ll have his way, as he normally does. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/3 "2003-07-31T13:50:43Z")
Aren’t we already using “civil union” for that? (I know, you want something more jazzy.) ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/4 "2003-07-31T13:56:04Z")
Um, haven’t we had this discussion like 50 times already? The word for a union between two people of the same sex is “marriage.” ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/5 "2003-07-31T13:56:56Z")
I’m sorry this isn’t in the light-spirited manner intened by the OP but I won’t settle for anything less than _marriage_. I know that’s easy for me to type as I’m currently married to a man, but anything else smacks of separate but equal. We all know how well _that_ went. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/6 "2003-07-31T14:06:46Z")
I’m with **JuanitaTech**. Anything other than marriage smacks of seperate but equal. This is in the legal sense. Don’t know about the religious sense, though, as I’m not big on that sort of thing. ---
**Author:** ![Shrinking\_Violet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Shrinking\_Violet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shrinking_Violet)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/7 "2003-07-31T14:07:19Z")
From online Websters: > [@](#): > > Main Entry: mar·riage > Pronunciation: 'mar-ij also 'mer- > Function: noun > Etymology: Middle English mariage, from Old French, from marier to marry > Date: 14th century > 1 a : the state of being married b : the mutual relation of husband and wife : WEDLOCK c : the institution whereby men and women are joined in a special kind of social and legal dependence for the purpose of founding and maintaining a family > 2 : an act of marrying or the rite by which the married status is effected; especially : the wedding ceremony and attendant festivities or formalities > 3 : **an intimate or close union** \ (Bolding mine) I don’t see why gay couples would need another word. Julie ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/8 "2003-07-31T14:17:05Z")
More ups for gays having marriages too. I don’t want any special rights or terms. If they can’t have a “marriage,” then I want my union (or whatever) to be called something else too. ---
**Author:** ![Umbriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9de053/32.png) [@Umbriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Umbriel)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/9 "2003-07-31T20:56:21Z")
I second **rockle** ’s motion. Inasmuch as a lot of the opposition to gay marriage at least professes to be religiously justified, and marriage was a religious sacrament before it was a civil legal status, I propose that the legal status of all “domestic partners”, hetero or homo, be “Civil Union.” Those who are married as a religious sacrament of a religion that accepts their particular partnership may refer to that union as a marriage. The general public would be as unlikely to adhere to this usage as they are to ask for “Cola” in a restaurant instead of “Coke”, but it could easily become the standard legal usage, and thus provide a useful bridge until society works out its “issues”. ---
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/10 "2003-08-01T03:49:13Z")
You know what, I am so tired of all the homophobic bullshite that the debate over “marriage” attracts (mostly in the name of “journalistic balance”), that I am willing to accept “marriage by another name”, if only to shut that effing annoying little Shrub up. My vote is for “Murriage”. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/11 "2003-08-01T04:00:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scarlett67 \* > \*\*Aren’t we already using “civil union” for that? > \*\* But aren’t marriages preformed by a Justice of the Peace called that too? No wonder they’d want something different. Seems cruel to call it that too when it currently doesn’t have the same legality. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/12 "2003-08-01T06:05:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kputt \* > \*\*Now, the pope is going against gay marriages. He’ll have his way, as he normally does. \*\* So, no Catholics eat meat on Fridays, have abortions, or use birth control? ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/13 "2003-08-01T06:07:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Otto \* > \*\*Um, haven’t we had this discussion like 50 times already? > > The word for a union between two people of the same sex is “marriage.” \*\* Just like Depeche Mode, some people just can’t get enough. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/14 "2003-08-01T06:58:48Z")
Sure! Let’s come up with a completely foreign term that has an utterly different meaning, like: **MARRIAGE** ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/15 "2003-08-01T07:08:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mockingbird \* > So, no Catholics eat meat on Fridays, have abortions, or use birth control? How dare you be so accurate in your assessment of Catholicism’s fundamental hypocrisy? The nerve!!! ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/16 "2003-08-01T07:10:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mockingbird \* > Just like Depeche Mode, some people just can’t get enough. > > ☹ HOW DARE YOU!!! ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/17 "2003-08-01T07:13:41Z")
I personally knew people who had direct associations with members of Depeche Mode and their lives were complete and total trainwrecks … Err … CARRY ON ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/18 "2003-08-01T12:36:49Z")
Yes, let’s do that, let’s also have a different term for when someone with ginger hair gets married (gingerriage), and another term for when one or both of the prospective spouses are left-handed (leftriage), you folks with freckles - don’t imagine you’ve escaped this, you’ll have to call your union “frecklliage”, people allergic to shellfish will have to call their relationship crustacophobbiage and anyone who combs their hair from the middle will have to enter into Centreparttiage. When one of them is Jewish, we’ll call it Jewwiage, oops, hello Mr Godwin. On second thoughts, let’s not do any of it, including the absurd idea of treating gays as if they were something to be held at arm’s length with the other hand pinching the nose. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/19 "2003-08-01T12:43:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elfkin477 \* > \*\*But aren’t marriages preformed by a Justice of the Peace called [civil unions] too? No wonder they’d want something different. Seems cruel to call it that too when it currently doesn’t have the same legality. \*\* Not that I know of. I was married not even by a JP, but by the freakin’ “Family Court Commissioner,” and the certificate he gave us says “marriage license.” I think you are thinking of the term “civil ceremony,” used to distinguish a marriage performed by a public official from a religious ceremony. Thinking on the deeper matter (and very much considering two women I know I who may well be contemplating marriage), I support those who are fighting for full rights to marriage by that name. But I think if I were in that position myself, I’d feel that they could call it “jumpin’ de broom” for all I care, as long as it meant that my partner and I could provide insurance for each other, make medical decisions, be recognized as the legal parents of our children, etc., etc., rights that gay couples do not (generally) currently have. It would be a small step and a large one at the same time, and would open the door for acceptance of the term “marriage” later on. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/20 "2003-08-01T12:47:54Z")
I’m not gay, and I’m not married. But I just can’t figure out why it matters to some people if two men or two women marry each other. I mean, what are they afraid of? “Tim and Jerry just got married! Oh, my god! That means that we’re all going to turn gay!”? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106.md?page=2)