# Okay, we heteros will use marriage, let's come up with another word for our gays **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 31, 2003, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106 "2003-07-31T12:17:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/21 "2003-08-01T15:21:18Z")
I guess their argument is that somehow gay people being married would destroy the sanctity of marriage for us straights. Of course, the fact that half of marriages end in divorce and that over half of married people end up cheating at some point in their lives is irrelevant, of course. Why concentrate on sins that actually hurt people and affect, you know, _actual members of your own religion_, rather than people who wouldn’t be caught dead there? I’m with most of the people in this thread regarding the OP. Call it marriage. That’s what it is. ---
**Author:** ![Cornelius\_Tuggerson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Cornelius\_Tuggerson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cornelius_Tuggerson)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/22 "2003-08-01T15:31:57Z")
Hmmm well lemme think divorce, spouse abuse, alimony payments, custody battles. I think gays should consider the possibility that they and the rest of us are better off without the damn thing ---
**Author:** ![Rob\_V](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Rob\_V](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rob_V)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/23 "2003-08-01T15:57:41Z")
Yeah, and what IS up with the fact that Mr Shrub and Con-gress (the opposite of PROgress) are talking about a CONSTITUTINAL AMENDMENT(!) defining marriage as between a man and a woman? WTF??? What happend to "separation of church and state, hmmm??? I don’t give a rat’s ass if the fundies don’t like gays, and don’t like the idea of gay marriage. FINE! That’s their perogative. But this is supposed to be a FREE SOCIETY where as long as you aren’t hurting others, you’re free to do as you please, pretty much. So, ignore 'em or leave 'em alone, just don’t deny them their basic rights as human beings!! ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/24 "2003-08-01T16:13:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mangetout \* > \*\*Yes, let’s do that, let’s also have a different term for when someone with ginger hair gets married (gingerriage), and another term for when one or both of the prospective spouses are left-handed (leftriage), you folks with freckles - don’t imagine you’ve escaped this, you’ll have to call your union “frecklliage”, people allergic to shellfish will have to call their relationship crustacophobbiage and anyone who combs their hair from the middle will have to enter into Centreparttiage. > When one of them is Jewish, we’ll call it Jewwiage, oops, hello Mr Godwin. > > On second thoughts, let’s not do any of it, including the absurd idea of treating gays as if they were something to be held at arm’s length with the other hand pinching the nose. \*\* Yeah, you’re right. As a feckled, left-handed, redhead, I’d be really confused as to what to call it 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/25 "2003-08-01T16:17:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shrinking Violet \* > \*\*I don’t see why gay couples would need another word. > > Julie \*\* I totally agree. I see no point in labelling the union between homosexuals any different then the union between heterosexuals. I’ve never understood why it matters to the heterosexual people who would deny homosexuals the chance to marry. I mean, what is it to them anyway? In my mind, they can’t stand behind their religion to claim this, because you don’t see them complaining when atheists get married, or when other religious people get married. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/26 "2003-08-01T16:24:24Z")
I was trying to approach this from the standpoint of “A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet.” I didn’t mean to upset anyone. I’m sorry if I offended anybody. FTR, I don’t care what it’s called, as long as it’s legally recognized. ---
**Author:** ![Grim\_Beaker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/46a35a/32.png) [@Grim\_Beaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grim_Beaker)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/27 "2003-08-01T17:02:20Z")
Well… I’m not so certain I agree with you **faldureon**. Marriage comes with a whole host of legal benefits as well (ability to make medical decisions on behalf of an incapacitated spouse comes to mind). However, having said that, I think it would be a tactical mistake to insist on using the word “Marriage” in the fight for legalized gay unions. Marriage is a sacred and religious (as well as legal) bond for a lot of people. I can understand their objectections to the use of an institution they consider religious in nature by a group of people who, by their nature (as they see it anyway), are antithetical to their religious values. I don’t necessarily agree with that view but I can understand where it’s coming from. Insistence on the use of the word marriage for gays, prior to receiving the actual legal rights bestowed by marriage, IMO will generate more resistance. Easier, IMO, to call for legal Civil Unions for gays (which, for all intents and purposes, bestow the same rights and responsibilities as a standard marriage) and then, once that is accomplished, to gradually adopt the use of the word marriage to describe it. ---
**Author:** ![Undead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b3f665/32.png) [@Undead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Undead)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/28 "2003-08-01T17:29:14Z")
I think a new word would rock. Damn, I definately don’t want to get married but I would sure love to get FUSED! Jesus 2003 giving the rockin’ sacrament of FUSION!!! “It’s an in your face extreme wedding!” exclaims Jesus. Now that sounds like fun. ---
**Author:** ![herownself](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8baadc/32.png) [@herownself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/herownself)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/29 "2003-08-01T18:25:31Z")
The only way I’d be willing to consider a different word is if they get to get married and we have to get something else. Why is it naturally fair that we hets should get to keep the word ‘married’? It’s not. The whole thing is ridiculous. A loving union between two adults who choose to spend the rest of their lives together is a marriage, not because of the religious connotations of the word but because of the social structural connotations of the word. That’s why people who are married by judges are just as married as people who are married by priests. Or Elvises. The commitment and the legal recognition of the commitment are what matters. I just don’t see how the gender of the two people involved really matters, except to them. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/30 "2003-08-01T18:40:06Z")
I can see why the Pope opposes gay marriage. It would seriously cut down on the number of unmarried men eligible for the priesthood. ---
**Author:** ![Politzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3ab097/32.png) [@Politzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Politzania)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/31 "2003-08-01T20:34:59Z")
I know **ivylass** meant well, but did anyone else cringe at “our gays”? ☹ FWIW - I don’t care what anyone wants to call the ceremony as long as it confers the same rights & responsibilities for either type of union. ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/32 "2003-08-01T20:35:00Z")
Mawidge. Mawidge is what bwings us together today. Mawidge is a dweam wiffin a dweam. Okay, I’m with those who think that since the damn things are marriages, just call them marriages, and anyone who doesn’t like it can go sit on a broomstick. I just wanted to say ‘Mawidge.’ ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106/33 "2003-08-01T21:11:22Z")
How about we have “mmarriage” for gay men, “mwarriage” for hetero marriage, and “wwariage” for lesbians? Polygamy might get tough to pronounce, though. 😉 😉 😉 Seriously, it’s marriage for everyone, and the old one-finger salute to people who don’t like it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-we-heteros-will-use-marriage-lets-come-up-with-another-word-for-our-gays/192106.md?page=1)