# Okay, Which X-MAN Do You Want To Boink? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 30, 2000, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-which-x-man-do-you-want-to-boink/43389 "2000-11-30T16:21:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2000, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-which-x-man-do-you-want-to-boink/43389/1 "2000-11-30T16:21:42Z")
Spin-off from the “So, Which Cartoon Character Do You Want To Boink?” thread (which included several X-MEN cites). My five-year-old has developed an unhealthy infatuation with the old (early 1990s) X-MEN cartoon program, and he acquired about eight hours of it on various video cassettes on his recent birthday. So it’s on a LOT in my house. As it lacks the sophisticated irony and nuance of POWERPUFF GIRLS or even DEXTER’S LAB, the adult mind begins to drift after extended viewing…often to idle daydreams about takinf a bath with **Jubilee** or getting fellatio from **Storm.** I’d have to go with **Rogue,** myself. LOVE the coif. Darling little Southern accent (“call me “Sugah” again, okay?”). And an ass that is a quiet triumph of the cartoonist’s art. On the downside, condoms would be a necessity, to avoid having her drain more of the life essence than you’re wantin’ her to drain. EXTRA BONUS QUESTION: “Which X-Man would you have GAY sex with?” (Gay Dopers may substitute STRAIGHT sex here) Definitely not **Wolverine** or **Beast** …too hairy and scary for me. **Cyclops** and **Angel** seem like a coupla boring fratboys (the male equivalents of **Jean Grey** ). So I’d pick **Gambit** …tall and square-jawed and an accent almost as cute as **Rogue’s** and the whites of his eyes are BLACK, how cool is THAT? Plus the morning after he might make gumbo for breakfast. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2000, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-which-x-man-do-you-want-to-boink/43389/2 "2000-11-30T16:29:54Z")
Hmmm . . . I’d go with Tula, or Dana International. You did say “ex-man,” didn’t you? ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2000, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-which-x-man-do-you-want-to-boink/43389/3 "2000-11-30T16:32:17Z")
Straight: I’ll second your **Gambit**. He’s sexy, in a cartoonish-bad-but-good-boy sort of way. Gay: I’d have to say the cartoon **Storm** , but if I could get my hands on the movie **Jean Grey** (Famke Janssen)…rrrrowr. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2000, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-which-x-man-do-you-want-to-boink/43389/4 "2000-11-30T16:42:47Z")
Okay…do we have to go with the cartoon X-Men? If I may substitute the 80’s comic-book X-Men: Gay: Colossus…talk about hardbody! Note that this is the 80s Colossus, not wimpy artboy 90’s Colossus. Nightcrawler…furry fans take note! Blue satiny fur, tail, and cute accent! And if we can get the Bamfs to join in, it’d be even more fun… Straight: Okay, every straight teen boy in the 80’s wanted Kitty Pryde. And she even has her own dragon. 'Nuff said… ---
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2000, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-which-x-man-do-you-want-to-boink/43389/5 "2000-11-30T16:43:27Z")
Great minds, Uke . . . I thought **Rogue** before I even opened the thread. I’ve always had a thing for her. And (comics geekdom coming), although she was an Avenger and not an X-Man, the **Scarlet Witch** (daughter of Magneto) was not too shabby. Gay X-Sex? Hmmmm . . . was Iceman on the cartoons? He at least had a good sense of humor. That’s important in a man, you know. ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2000, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-which-x-man-do-you-want-to-boink/43389/6 "2000-11-30T16:46:16Z")
Straight: oooh…toss up. **Wolverine** , for his rugged good looks and wild passion…or **The Beast** , for his intelligence, thoughtfullness and sensitivity. Plus, he’s kinda cute aside from all that blue hariness. (This is coming from the girl who has an absurd obsession with **The Tick** , so maybe it’s the blue thing…) Gay: hands down, **Jean Gray**. Second place goes to **Rogue** for the same reasons mentioned above. ---
**Author:** ![broccoli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@broccoli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/broccoli)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2000, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-which-x-man-do-you-want-to-boink/43389/7 "2000-11-30T17:19:51Z")
Psylocke! Hands down. Hoo-AH! If I had to go from the movie, Mystique. punk snot dead, broccoli! ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2000, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-which-x-man-do-you-want-to-boink/43389/8 "2000-11-30T17:22:12Z")
I’ll take a note from jayjay’s book and not limit myself to the older cartoon: Straight: [ul] [li]Kitty Pryde. (As I stated in the other thread.)[/li][li]Jubilee’s pretty nice.[/li][li]Majik.[/li][li]Feral. (OK, so she’s from X-Force, not X-Men, but still, she’s hot…)[/li][li]Wolfsbane. (Again, X-Factor, not X-Men, but rather a cutie…)[/li][/ul] Gay: Hands down, Nightcrawler. jayjay…don’t forget…the tail’s prehensile…::Slinks off rather ashamed at having thought about that…:: (Apparently I have a thing for fur…1/2 of my choices are furry…) ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2000, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-which-x-man-do-you-want-to-boink/43389/9 "2000-11-30T18:08:24Z")
I can’t believe I have an answer to this. I don’t even like the X-men (not even one of my comic book reading SO’s favorites.) But…I saw the cartoon. I didn’t bother to see the movie when I found out Gambit wasn’t in it. So- Gambit. Definately. That accent. That cool coat. Gay- Rogue. So I’m with Ike. In reverse. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2000, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-which-x-man-do-you-want-to-boink/43389/10 "2000-11-30T18:14:01Z")
If I’m boinking anybody, he better be a man currently! No x-men for me. ---
**Author:** ![Gaudere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e495f1/32.png) [@Gaudere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gaudere)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2000, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-which-x-man-do-you-want-to-boink/43389/11 "2000-11-30T19:05:29Z")
**Wolverine**. No doubt about it. Short, slightly furry, doesn’t take crap but a real softie at heart, in touch with nature and rides a Harley. Hell, Wolvie’s on my desktop on my home computer. Cyke is way too goody too-shoes and bland, oh-poor-me-I’m-emotionally-repressed-and-have-uncontrollable-optic-beams-boo-hoo-hoo; Iceman’s too young. Nightcrawler wouldn’t be bad, he’s pretty witty and I dig the blue fur. Gambit, now, Gambit is intriguing although he tends to smug and that’d make me uncertain as to whether to kiss or kill him if he irritated me enough. Still, that can be fun. Gay sex? Hm, I dunno; Jube’s still underage, I believe, so strike that. Maybe Storm. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2000, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-which-x-man-do-you-want-to-boink/43389/12 "2000-11-30T19:19:35Z")
**Rogue**. And not the shy-little-girl Rogue from the X-Men movie, either. The buxom Rogue from the Saturday morning X-Men cartoon show. Grrrrowr! ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2000, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-which-x-man-do-you-want-to-boink/43389/13 "2000-11-30T19:22:39Z")
Gaudere wrote: > [@](#): > > Cyke is way too goody too-shoes and bland, [boring trivia] The phrase “Goody Two-shoes” come from the main character of a series of children’s instructional books written in (I believe) the 18th century. They were quite popular, and as you might expect, the character of Goody had this annoying tendency to always do the “right” thing. [/boring trivia] ---
**Author:** ![Nen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Nen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nen)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2000, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-which-x-man-do-you-want-to-boink/43389/14 "2000-11-30T19:25:27Z")
Well, if Gen 13 counts, Rainmaker is the _one_. If not, I suppose I could _settle_ for Psylocke–I hear she give a good mind job. Then again, just imagine the role-playing capacity with **Mystique**. Yowza! As for swinging the other way, **Mister Sinister** : give it to me rough! **Gambit** is damn good looking, but he just doesn’t have that seductive aura. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2000, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-which-x-man-do-you-want-to-boink/43389/15 "2000-11-30T19:31:30Z")
Straight: Jean Grey in her Marvel Girl days. I always loved Jean Grey in that sexy green mini-skirt. Gay: The Mimic (a note to purists: The Mimic was associated back with the group about the time they went up against the Banshee and Factor Three). ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2000, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-which-x-man-do-you-want-to-boink/43389/16 "2000-11-30T19:41:36Z")
Storm, definitely–Rogue’s accent grates on me very quickly, and I’d always worry about having a falling out with Kitty \. Gay…hmmm…I’d say Nightcrawler here. Kurt’s nice, charming, has a pleasant accent, and he has _blue fur!_ How cool is that? Mystique should be an option here as well–there’s no reason she can’t play a guy for a while. ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2000, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-which-x-man-do-you-want-to-boink/43389/17 "2000-11-30T19:43:33Z")
No doubt about it. Nightcrawler. Had it bad for him for too long. _sigh_ And indulging in the love that dare not speak its name? Hmmmmmm. I guess Jean. She can move things with her mind, right? ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2000, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-which-x-man-do-you-want-to-boink/43389/18 "2000-11-30T19:56:30Z")
Well definately Wolverine I love him (in both the movie and cartoon though I never watched much of the cartoon) and I dunno who I would go as my Gay one… perhaps Jean Grey ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2000, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-which-x-man-do-you-want-to-boink/43389/19 "2000-11-30T20:43:10Z")
It just has to be **Rogue,** doesn’t it? She has the best body in popular culture. Sadly, they picked a fine but not-so-good-looking actress to play her in film (Anna Paquin.) Strange casting decision. My dreams are ruined. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2000, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-which-x-man-do-you-want-to-boink/43389/20 "2000-11-30T21:23:59Z")
Straight: Kitty Pryde (mmmm…) with Rogue a close second. Gay: What are you, nuts? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-which-x-man-do-you-want-to-boink/43389.md?page=2)