# Okay, who ordered the phoenix? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 22, 2003, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-ordered-the-phoenix/183604 "2003-06-22T19:03:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![SpectBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a87d85/32.png) [@SpectBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpectBrain)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-ordered-the-phoenix/183604/61 "2003-07-07T12:50:58Z")
Hey you guys, I hope this doesn’t happen to you! I stopped off at Pandora’s Wings and Things on the way home from my night gig in the chorus at the Parthenon. Bought the big box. Hoo boy, when I got home and cracked that sucker… Needless to say the health inspector needs to have a go at that place. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-ordered-the-phoenix/183604/62 "2003-07-07T13:01:19Z")
If anyone sees **Scylla** , tell him his new washing machine’s here. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-ordered-the-phoenix/183604/63 "2003-07-07T13:19:15Z")
Actually, I ordered three phoenixes. One for me, one for my mother, and one for my wife. Well, I just found out I’ll only need two. ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-ordered-the-phoenix/183604/64 "2003-07-07T13:39:15Z")
All I know is, I really don’t like the way the maitre d’ looked at me and said “yes… eventually” when I asked if they had a chair that would fit me… ---
**Author:** ![ChordedZither](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9c0ed/32.png) [@ChordedZither](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChordedZither)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-ordered-the-phoenix/183604/65 "2003-07-07T16:05:35Z")
I was just having a little visit over at Pluto’s place, and he offered me a seat, and befor I knew it I was completely unuaware of how time was passing. So I’m really late and, on top of that, I forgot to pick up the phoenix for dinner. Man, Medea is just going to kill me when I get home tonight. ---
**Author:** ![Redhawke.the.bard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Redhawke.the.bard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redhawke.the.bard)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-ordered-the-phoenix/183604/66 "2003-07-07T16:57:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Quantum Butterfly \* > \*\*Will you shut the dog up, hon? I can’t hear the takeout man!.. That’s better. We really need to thank Hephaestus for that triple muzzle. …OK, we’d like two orders of ambrosia, one nectar and one pomegranate juice. Address? Oh, yeah. The underworld… What do you mean, you don’t deliver to the land of the dead? Your ad says you’ll deliver ANYWHERE!.. Look, I’ll get hubby to write you a pass. And the dog is muzzled, don’t worry about him. Just ignore the ghosts, they won’t bother you unless there’s fresh blood around. OK? Good. \ \*\* Sorry, lady, we don’t deliver to the underworld anymore - nobody wants to deliver if, if they count the tip before they get back, they lose it. ---
**Author:** ![Achren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/898d66/32.png) [@Achren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achren)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-ordered-the-phoenix/183604/67 "2003-07-07T17:54:58Z")
_pant, pant_ I ordered a well-done phoenix _pant, pant_ a week ago! I can’t eat it now! _pant, pant_ Apollo’s chasing me! _pant, stumble_ Help Dad! ---
**Author:** ![Marvel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marvel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marvel)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-ordered-the-phoenix/183604/68 "2003-07-07T18:47:32Z")
I’d like my Order of the Phoenix with a Gobblet of Fire chaser. Could I get a table in the Chamber of Secrets? Patty, Who Finshed “HP5” After Much Time and Eyestrain… ---
**Author:** ![Homer\_J](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c37758/32.png) [@Homer\_J](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer_J)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-ordered-the-phoenix/183604/69 "2003-07-07T19:17:09Z")
well i didn’t order a phoenix but my fancy dress costume turned up with only the top 1/2 of the costume arriving. I was going as a bull.(with a toga) ---
**Author:** ![LeeshaJoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@LeeshaJoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LeeshaJoy)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-ordered-the-phoenix/183604/70 "2003-07-07T19:44:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Marvel \* > \*\*I’d like my Order of the Phoenix with a Gobblet of Fire chaser. Could I get a table in the Chamber of Secrets? \*\* Sorry, your server is out back getting Philosopher’s Stoned. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-ordered-the-phoenix/183604/71 "2003-07-07T20:03:28Z")
I’ll get back to you, but right now I’ve been challenged to a game of “Statutes” by this woman with really bad hair… ---
**Author:** ![MacSpon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@MacSpon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacSpon)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-ordered-the-phoenix/183604/72 "2003-07-07T21:15:25Z")
The funny thing is, I and a few chums were sitting down to a really good roast phoenix dinner, when someone or other threw an _apple_ (of all things) on the table. Now some of the girls are arguing about it, and … oh, I don’t know. It’ll all soon blow over, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-ordered-the-phoenix/183604/73 "2003-07-07T22:41:23Z")
I used to date this chick called Danae who had a thing for “golden showers”. I heard she’s found some new guy now who’s into the same kink. Whatever works for you, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-ordered-the-phoenix/183604/74 "2003-07-08T12:57:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BrotherCadfael \* > \*\*I’ll get back to you, but right now I’ve been challenged to a game of “Statutes” by this woman with really bad hair… \*\* Man, don’t EVER make snide remarks about the judge! She’s a real Gorgon, a genuine demon lady, let me tell you. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-ordered-the-phoenix/183604/75 "2003-07-08T14:28:32Z")
I’ll be back to get my order in a little bit. I’m just going out for a quick sail. Odysseus ---
**Author:** ![Nanny\_Ogg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a87d85/32.png) [@Nanny\_Ogg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nanny_Ogg)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-ordered-the-phoenix/183604/76 "2003-07-08T16:48:19Z")
Phoenix…?.. I just LOVE phoenix… can I get a side order of deep fried kracken with that? Oh no, wait… too much butter and I won’t fit into that Golden Fleece that Jason got me. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-ordered-the-phoenix/183604/77 "2003-07-08T17:36:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Annie-Xmas \* > \*\*Actually, I ordered three phoenixes. One for me, one for my mother, and one for my wife. Well, I just found out I’ll only need two. \*\* Uh-oh…you better keep an eye out for that mother of yours. ---
**Author:** ![jillzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/278dde/32.png) [@jillzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jillzy)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-ordered-the-phoenix/183604/78 "2003-07-08T18:43:56Z")
Sorry! I was going to pick up the phoenix, but then my brother Atreus invited me over for dinner. MAN was that meat tender and juicy! I wonder what kind of flesh that was? -Thyestes ---
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-ordered-the-phoenix/183604/79 "2003-07-08T18:58:32Z")
It’s snowing again ☹ It just seems that everytime I take Persephone out things just wither and die. I wonder if it’s me? ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-ordered-the-phoenix/183604/80 "2003-07-08T19:14:01Z")
Listen, I’ve got a one-eyed Viking and a bunch of busty blonds waiting for that phoenix, and if I don’t get it to them, they’re going to think that I’m up to my old tricks again, so get it into a to-go bag quick, will ya? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-ordered-the-phoenix/183604.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-ordered-the-phoenix/183604.md?page=5)